Updates from Sister Payne!

Hey there Family, Friends, and Fans --


Not much to write about this week which I guess is good cause I don't have much time. This week has been a slow one, but I shall try my best to entertain and enlighten your Monday.
I have been writing better lyrics out here than I think I have my entire life. I have melodies constantly running through my head, and sometimes I have let myself get frustrated with the fact that I can't be making and recording music right now. But, I recognize that I am only blessed to be able to write this much because of the calling which I have right now. The Lord always blesses us to be able to achieve our righteous desires when we align our will with His. I've even been doodling album art work. I already have a plan for two full length CDs when I get home. One, entitled "Seasons", will be about the whirlwind of change I will have experienced at the end of this all. And the other, "Raised on Television", will all be songs inspired by tv shows or movies. I look forward to that, but right now I really enjoy being able to purge out all these thoughts and emotions I'm going through in writing.

I have many book ideas too. My first order of biz is to write the book for sister missionaries -- "The Road Less Travelled: A Survival Guide for Sister Missionaries" ... but I also want to write about rising to meet our potential as children of God, how the gospel is the source for peace in a politically turbulent world, and who knows what all else. What can I say, I love to write! But whatever the Lord has in store for me is what I plan on doing.

I have attempted a feat here reading Ensigns and Liahonas ... all of them, and we have some here dating back to 2004. I think I've read about 20 or so, and I've got about 35-40 to go. It really is an awesome experience though, those things are gold mines. I'm highlighting and writing stuff down like crazy, and finding answers to my prayers in the pages.
I've been working on exact, 100% obedience this week and it really has improved. I know the Lord has blessed me in my efforts to get up on time. That has been a struggle my entire mission up to this point, and continues to be but now going on the 8th day in a row I've been up on time and out of bed. Now I'm working on getting out of bed, and staying out of bed. Baby steps!

They called a branch mission leader ... WAHOO! We have our first meeting with him, Bro. Cherenfant, on Wednesday. He's excited and has great ideas and I know the work will improve drastically with him on board. We are currently planning a fireside for the 19th with President Hendricks (the mission president) and Elder Wilford W. Anderson of the Seventy, who is in the Caribbean Area Presidency. That is gonna be a great day, and we're gonna have an open house in September that is going to be advertised on "Bahamas at Sunrise" -- a local news show in the mornings. Fingers crossed everything will go smoothly with the coming events.

No one in the Caribbean has jobs, I swear. Either there are too many people here or just not enough jobs, I don't know but pretty much everyone we talk to is struggling financially, facing eviction, living without power or transportation ... It all makes my struggles seem very very small in comparison to everything they face. Of course you get the people who are in those situations because they have no initiative to get out of them, but that's not the case with all of them. We just keep seeking out service opportunities and promising them blessings that will come through righteousness, and on the Lord's time.

This is somewhat of a low point in my mission. I have had many the emotional struggle over the past week, and I think a few times I've driven Sis. Smith crazy with my negativity. As the work struggles, it puts a minor strain on our companionship. Stress induces that, as you can tell in any companionship in life. But we're friends, so we always work through it. My faith is not as strong as it needs to be, but its not shaken either. I know I am where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and I know that the Lord lets us experience the lows so that we appreciate the highs.
All is well. I'm setting tons continuous goals for during my mission and after. I'm doing something Sis. Smith showed me -- I make a T-chart, title the chart for whatever goal I want to reach, and then on the left I title it "What i'm going to do to achieve it" and on the right I title it "how it will bless others" .. It is a lot harder than it seems but I keep pluckin away at it and it really helps to put lofty goals into a realistic, reachable, and spiritual perspective. I continue to journal everyday. Haven't missed a day since I've been out -- after all, we are a record keeping people.

All my love to everyone back home. Enjoy the sun while I enjoy the rain.
XoXo,
Sister Payne
 
*******
 
Prepare Family, Friends, and Fans ---


For random thoughts times a billion. HERE WE GO!

1) Elder Stringham, an older elder from 2007, was honeymooning here and came and stopped by our apartment to say hi. It is weird to see people after their missions. You can't really imagine life after this, or what it will be like, cause your mind is so focused on the mission. It kinda tripped me out. And I was wearing a towel on my head. His wife looked at me like I was a huge doof. But whatever.

2) We've had a busier week at least. A lot busier. We started making new branch lists, with information and maps and directions for each branch member. That's for all 625 members! It is a great feat to attempt, but someone HAS to do it. So much time is spent here just trying to figure stuff out and find people. If future missionaries just have all the info at their disposal they can get to work immediately. It will be worth it when it is done. Most people we have no idea who they are, so it is pretty easy to fill out their information, lol.

3) We've set great goals for the month of September. Our goal is to have 4 baptisms that month, and report an average of 3 investigators with a date every week. Our whole zone is working toward these goals. It will be a stretch, but it is doable. We are having a hard time getting people to listen to us -- we feel cause we're sisters, and they're so used to elders it isn't going exactly the same. But as long as things get better and not worse, we'll be okay. Bro. Major flaked out on us all week. It was basically a heartbreaking experience. We're not giving up. He knows its true. He's ready. Heavenly Father has prepared him, many many many times. He's gotta take the step, and we've gotta help him.

4) Bro. Rio, a member from Haiti ... he's the coolest guy ever. I can't even describe, he is just awesome. That's all I can really say about that.

5) We found a Jesus the Christ audio CD so that's what we've been listening to in our car. THAT IS INTENSE. We're constantly stopping it and talking about it, like "what in the world did he just say?" The guy who does the voice, the reading, sounds like the guy who voices the "dead men tell no tales" part of the Pirates ride at Disneyland, so that's entertaining.

6) I got elected to join the branch choir. I didn't even want to, lol. And I'm singing alto no less - which is great for my voice, but so hard cause I've just been singing soprano, or the melody, my entire life. We sang in sacrament meeting yesterday. Thank goodness I had another alto with me. If left to my own devices I totally mess up. But it went well, and Bro. Bazard, the choir director, told me I have a beautiful voice. Can't complain. We're singing at the Fireside on thursday - with the mission president and Elder Wilford W. Anderson from the Seventy -- exciting right? Make that 2 general authorities I get to meet! woot woot. I'm so excited. And I decided I'm gonna get into the ward choir when I get home. Why the heck not? Singing is singing, and I can use the practice!

7) I made a phone call in Creole. Man, that was rough. The first half went smooth, the second half was bad. Still got more to learn.

8) We met a girl, Renetta, friend of Morris. She's rad and we're teaching her this week. Expect good things. She came to church yesterday. We also met T-Joe, a former investigator who never came to church because of work. But he came up to us at church yesterday and said "I need to meet with you. This is my church and I want to come back" -- expect great things.

9) My faith increased this week and I had many cool realizations and learning experiences. How greatful I am for the examples of Oliver Cowdery and Nephi. Oliver messed up, and we learned from it, when the Lord told him he couldn't just ask and expect but he had to study it out first. Nephi was pondering about Lehi's teachings when he was caught up in the Spirit and then was revealed more mysteries of God. What a great example for us to learn from, and to follow!

10) I have realized that the Book of Mormon rings more true the darker the world gets. No wonder it was saved to come forth in our day. Look around - the wickedness, the idolatry, the contention, the disbelief -- we are all Nephites and Lamanites. The Book of Mormon truly is the iron rod, and I know that it will be that much more important in the coming days. How thankful I am - what a blessing the book is - that we have something so clear to hold on to .. for dear life, if needs be.

11) It is starting to feel like home here. I feel like this branch is my home branch. It will be hard to leave.

12) I found great advice for singles in an Ensign that I wanted to share. Even though all my friends are getting married, I still have a few singles left there back home and I thought this rung true for everyone in our age group... FOR SINGLE MEN -- "Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it. Don't hang out. Date. A date must pass the 3 P's - planned ahead, paid for, and paired off. Nothing elaborate or expensive." -- Elder Dallin H. Oaks

Elder Oaks rocks. This is the most important thing I read and I know many who need to hear it. Wise wise counsel indeed. FOR SINGLE WOMEN -- "If you are just marking time waiting for a marriage prospect, STOP WAITING .. stop waiting and start moving. Prepare yourself for life -- even a single life - by education, experience, and planning. Don't wait for happiness to be thrust upon you. Seek it out in service and learning. Make a life for yourself. And trust in the Lord. Follow King Benjamin's counsel to call upon the name of the Lord daily and stand steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come (mosiah 4:11)."

And this is what Sister Oaks had to say to single sisters ... "This is your time. Make it count by dedicating your time to Heavenly Father." I just thought all of that was important, inspired, and needed to be said. It really influenced me, so I just had to share.

13) My faith really increased this week. I think in the last days we will be tried, like the early saints only worse. Even the most righteous then went apostate after enduring endless hardships. Are we going to be able to endure? I had a lot of self reflection about that this week. I want to be able to say - bring on the worst, I'm ready. I'm getting there. After all, it is our faith that makes us whole. It is our faith that has the ability to heal us physically, spiritually, and eternally.

14) Your commitment this week is to get on mormon.org and create your online missionary profile! LET US ALL PRESS ON!

Last but not least, I know this church is true. I know it like I know that I'm alive. I know that Christ lives, that Joseph Smith was a prophet, and that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I know that the truth will go forth bodly, nobly, and independent, and I am so priveleged to be a part of that. I know that the gospel changes lives, and it gives us purpose. It IS our purpose, to prepare in this life to meet our Father in Heaven again someday. I know that the priesthood of God is on the Earth today -- what a glorious blessing!

I love you all. Take care!
Sister Payne

From the last 3 weeks-

Upon Leaving Home



I left a quiet harbor

in favor of another, I know not where.

But first, there are seas to cross

And storms to brave.

How could I prefer the foreign deeps

to the encircling arms of my bay?

Because some things

Can only be learned at sea.

Yes, my craft is watertight,

I can navigate the unknown,

And Lo, the winds that fill my sails

Blow from home.



- Steffanie Russell



Aloha Family, Friends, and Fans --

Allow me to tell you about a ROUGH WEEK that Sis. Smith and I are glad to say farewell to. We had blowout after blowout, cancellation after cancellation, rainstorm after rainstorm, and not a single new investigator all week. Needless to say a lot of time was wasted and a lot of reevaluating was necessary. But now, on the other end of things and moving into faith week, we're not letting it shake us.



My mission is a very humbling experience. Everyday I am reminded of my weaknesses, which humble me, or of my blessings, which also humbles me. I am realizing how much I need to improve and how much I've already improved, as well as how much my Heavenly Father has given me and truly what my life's purpose is, and what my purpose is here on my mission. You cannot come to this part of the world, visit with the people I've visited, be in some of the homes I've been in, listen to experiences people have had, knowing that they are children of God, and not be humbled by it. I continue to be in awe at the strength of the people I've met, at the trials they have to face. And to think about some of the things I used to complain about -- it really is ridiculous. I am so incredibly blessed and I don't think I've ever realized it more than I do at this time in my life.



This week (the first half of it anyway) I went jogging/power walking with Sis. Smith. Man alive, there is nothing I hate more than exercising at 6:30 in the morning. I absolutely cannot stand it, but after the first few days wore us out we had a hard time just getting out of bed on time. I've started this week fresh, with the bench press, crunches, and calf raises. That's gonna be my routine every morning until I leave Nassau - I'm determined. Not because I'm getting fat, and not because I particularly care whether or not I'm in shape, but because in order to be obedient I've gotta exercise. It is all a matter of faith!



I read a little bit in Sis. Ockey's History of the Church 7-volume set. My golly, I want those bad boys when I get home! There is just worlds and worlds of information that I have not read about the church and it is so incredibly interesting. Not to mention those volumes are references so much in conference talks and Ensign articles, it will be such a fantastic resource to have when I get home. I love reading and studying after all ... why not fill up my library with the most important stuff first! Speaking of studying, I memorized the timeline of the restoration (at least I did at the beginning of the week, I need to review it again). But it has been cool to be able to just go into my head for that knowledge instead of having to go into a book. I want to get more of that information in my head, scriptures, timelines, etc so that I can teach with more confidence. I'll be working on that! Currently I'm creating/setting up a fireside for the 24th of this month that is kinda my brain child. It's entitled "The Song of the Heart" and is going to be all about music in the gospel, and be a very hands-on experience for the branch. I hope it is successful.



Lucea and Falmouth back in Jamaica have been shut down officially as of yesterday, and are now dissolved into two other branches. The work here is seemingly neverending. It seems like we could have all 50,000 missionaries in this one mission and still would have endless amounts of work to do, so you can imagine how it feels being the only two missionaries in New Providence. With great responsibility comes great power however, if we trust in the Lord! I got a package from the Skyline branch the other day, with little letters from each member at FHE. How wonderful was that!? I felt so loved -- it was very cool, and very appreciated so thank you good ol' skyliners.



I need to tell you about Morris Ford. Morris was a friend of a member, he's 37, and he came to church three sundays ago after the member had been inviting him for years. He told us he's just felt recently like God has been telling him to find a church, get involved in faith, and put Him first. So we've been teaching him, and right from the get-go he's been really excited about everything. When we taught him the first lesson and I recited Joseph's account of the first vision, he said he'd heard that before but he didn't know where - but it sounded so familiar. When we watched The Restoration DVD, he asked us "how come sometimes you feel so good you want to cry?" He's ready and willing for everything, and he's set to be baptized this Saturday. We can't wait! When we gave him a Book of Mormon and asked him to pray, he came back the next lesson and said he'd been praying all night and he couldn't sleep. The next morning he'd gone to work and had the book in his car, and flipped it open and started reading Joseph's testimony. He said when he read the part about Moroni talking to Joseph all the way until morning, it was exactly like his experience. He said he felt someone was talking to him all night, and he kept getting thoughts into his head and next thing he knew the rooster was crowing and it was time to go to work. He said when he read that, he had a "whoa" experience. He asked me, "What was that all about?" So I told him, "that was the answer to your prayers." His response was the best -- "Really? Cool man. That's so cool." Everytime we ask him if he has any concerns he always tells us "I'm ready. I'm not afraid, let's do this." My favorite Morris quotes are "church is cool, man" and "Jesus is cool, man" and "you Christians know how to rock". He's so incredibly rad.



Allow me to leave you with some thoughts and impressions I've had this week, due to the Spirit and I believe my Heavenly Father answering my desparate, feeble prayers. The first is something that was shared by a tourist from Chandler in relief society yesterday. She said that "time is the most precious and charitable commodity we have to give". Now I don't know if that is the most correct grammatically, but the principle is absolutely correct and something I had never thought of. The world so often says "take time to yourself" or "you need 'me' time" and more often than not we feel like any time we have available deservingly so goes to ourselves. Because time is such a valuable resource, when we give and sacrifice of our time it is one of the greatest gifts we can give to anyone. When we love someone, we can truly show them how much we love them by giving them our time. The Savior gave all His time to doing His Father's work -- the ultimate manifestation of His love and devotion was what He did with His time. I feel priveleged to be able to give this small amount of time to my Heavenly Father, but in all aspects of our lives we can be more charitable with our time -- with our families, our loved ones, our callings, etc.



The other thought that was really a paradigm shift for me and will not be the same as I try to explain it in words, is the concept of the Lord's grace being sufficient for all. Brother Eyers, a member from England, gave a talk about this in sacrament meeting yesterday (can you tell I had a good Sunday?). He talked about 2 Cor 12:7-10, and how the Lord most often will not remove our adversity -- even though that's what we always expect or desire. How often do we pray and ask God to take away our weaknesses, our trials, our hardships ... when really what the Lord will actually do will bear us up to be able to meet our adversity and allow US to conquer it. It is not a matter of what He can or cannot do, but a matter of what we will or will not do. So much of us being faithful and overcoming life's obstacles is our willingness to do so. It is not our ability, but our focus and determination that will help us succeed. Our ability does not matter. We are all too weak to do it alone, BUT if we have the desire and are obedient to the Lord in all He asks of us and WE put in the footwork, then is His grace sufficent. THEN is His strength enough to make us strong, to bridge the gap between who we are and who we want to be, and who He expects us to be. It is so much US!



The last epiphany I will share with you is this quote, and I believe it is by Richard G Scott but I don't know it word for word off hand, but he says that Satan's most powerful tool against good people is distraction -- filling up our time with good things, leavning no room for the essential things. I have found this to be ever so true in my life. In fact, I have specific counsel regarding this in my patriarchal blessing. This has been and will continue to be a struggle for me, but I have learned to rely on the promise found in Ether 12:27 ... if I humble myself and have faith in my Savior, then will my weak things become strong.



Your commitment for this letter is to determine your talents. List out at least five talents that you have, and then ponder about how you can use those talents to help others. Why did God give you those talents? Then -- GO AND DO! Use at least one of those talents to help someone this week, and sit back and enjoy the blessings.



All the love in the world,



Sister Payne

******
1 Timothy 4:12




Salutations Family, Friends and Fans --



Hello again from the land of a million churches. I hope everything is fantastic in your respective areas and that you are loving each day of your life. As Bryce Avary says, "every day there is a choice - and through the joy, through the pain, I will rejoice!"



The latest Liahona has a wonderful article about finding ourselves in Lehi's dream. We're all in it! I thought the most profound part of it was reading how we today are no longer walking alongside the great and spacious building, but rather the iron rod runs right through the building. The building is all around us! It really puts in perspective how difficult times are now, and how important it is, now more than ever, to grasp ahold of the word of God and our covenants and give it all we've got. Your commitment this week is to read that article!



Well the week started off by being invited by some tourists from Orlando, Bro. and Sis. Parker of Parker Boats, taking us out to Carmine's restaurant over by Atlantis. Talk about stush -- we had so much food, for days! It was definitely deliciously decadent - and quite a treat. We felt like rich people for a day, and we got to go to The Dig aquarium at Atlantis and check out all the crazy fish -- eels and piranhas... scary stuff!



There is a ridiculous conflict here between Haitians and Bahamians. We had this guy come take a tour of our church building, and at the end of it ask why we had a Haitian church. I can't stand any of that -- I simply let anyone with that issue know that God is no respecter of persons and the gospel is for everyone, and if they can't understand that they don't truly understand the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is a frustrating thing to deal with. Also frustrating was some random lady on the street yelling at us -- "are you Normans? I'm APOSTOLIC! You know the church that believes in JESUS CHRIST?!" All I kept thinking, as she kept yelling in my face, was 1) this lady had absolutely no idea what it meant to be Christian. Christ never yelled at anyone, and she was making me very afraid of her church ... and 2) 99.9% of the people here don't know the name of the church. When they read our name tag they say "I've never heard of that church where is it?" ... We'll let them know it is on Soldier Road, big yellow building. "Oh the Mormon church! You don't believe in God!" ... and then more yelling. Soemtimes it feels like damage control here, clearing up stupid rumors spread by other congregations. But we're still finding those who are looking for the truth, and know not where to find it -- even amidst this chaos.



This week has been a great week. We had some jerk chicken and peas and rice Jamaican style from Sis. Capita in the branch. That lady is hilarious! I also got to try my first vitamalt, a Bahamian energy/vitamin beverage. That'll probably be my last too - it tastes like bread. Not exactly a refreshing drink. And I've gotten a bunch of marriage advice from various members of the branch, which has been pretty dang funny to listen to. It is all positive though, and though none of them have met David they're all positive we're meant to be together. Gotta love it! Bro. Raymond gave a talk in sacrament meeting, but he doesn't speak much English. It was awesome - he gave it his all and did a lot better than I would if I had to give a talk in creole. Sis. Pascal who is the funniest lady ever has already started to make plans to take me to Haiti when I come back and visit after my mission, and anytime she goes out teaching with us she buys us Twin Brothers Daquiris. DELICIOUS and ADDICTIVE! There's so many awesome people in this branch, its crazy.



In other news I ate a fish with the head still on it. I'm not a fan. And of course, last but certainly not least -- THE WORK THIS WEEK WAS FANTASTIC! Morris Ford was baptized Saturday night and confirmed on Sunday. He's so incredibly solid, and had tears in his eyes at his baptism. He told me "Ya know, I was gonna go look around for other churches, but I found the right one on the first try. Someone was lookin' out for me!" He shared his experiences in Sunday School, and is already bringing his friends to church. I love this guy! I can't wait to see his progress in the church. Also, a less active we've been workign with -- Jude, was at church yesterday. He told me he was 'back home', and told the branch president he was here to stay and not turning back. That was like music to my ears!



Allow me to end by sharing a cool epiphany I had, due to the Spirit during study. I'm pretty sure my whole life I've always believed in the atonement, and had a testimony of the reality of it. I don't think, however, that I've ever truly understood it. I'm understanding it more and more each day, but this week I realized something very significant. I think I always assumed, because the Savior bled from every pore, that all of our pains and sins and sorrows were converted into physical pain when He took them upon Himself. Though His suffering would still be significant even if that were the case, and the atonement still be real and perfect, a shift in my perspective really changed my life. I realized that He lived every day of our entire lives -- every fear, insecurity, everything. Christ felt, not in some manifestation of physical pain, but in reality - just as we do, he felt sorrow, guilt, shame, apathy, indifference, fear, inadequacy, loneliness, embarassment, awkwardness, anxiety, etc etc etc. The Savior, even though He was perfect, felt the painful consequences of sin -- the guilt and fear that accompanies the darkest of sins. HE FELT EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER FELT, EXACTLY HOW I HAVE FELT IT -- but beyond what I could even imagine, because He felt it for all of us. No wonder He bled from every pore. If anyone has ever felt the pain of a loved one dying, their heart breaking from a relationship ending, the sorrow and regret for bad decisions, or the fear of what life has in store for them, they will know how profound the pain can truly be. That is amazing to me -- the perfect nature of the atonement. Understanding that, for me, has given me hope and strength. It has made me realize there is never a feeling I am experiencing that the Savior has not felt. My emotional woes were not converted to physical pains. He didn't feel agony in His stomach for my anxiety -- He felt nervousness and a rapid heart beat just like I do. The plan of salvation is for US - not for God. Heavenly Father didn't have to do any of it, but He did because He loves us. He sent our brother to save us! So anytime we feel like there is no way to overcome something, no way to conquer it, or we've fallen too far backward, too far down, that we're sunk and we can't make it right ... we can turn to the Lord with all we have, use the atonement and know, He suffered so that we don't have to. That's the miracle of forgiveness, and it is real and right there for the taking if we just reach out and grab it. What profound love ... it consumes me. (Hebrews 2:17-18)



I love you all and know that you're in my prayers. I hope this week you find renewed strength in the Savior and His atonement, and make and keep goals to improve your life and let your light shine to those around you. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. They mean the world to me.



All my love,



Sister Payne

(D&C 122:7)



"Faith or Fear"



v1

its time to get behind the wheel and drive

time to really live while i'm alive

today is the day that i decide

if i'm ready for the fight, ready for the ride



v2

will i trust in faith or fear

i still haven't a clue what i'm doing here

but i know that i will either disappear

or let you steer and kickstart my heart into gear



chorus

i won't lie - i lay awake at night

sometimes i hurt inside - but You won't see me cry

cause i'm in Your hands - its Your call

and i finally understand

I'm Yours



v3

i'm tired of wishing for greener grass

tired of thinking about the past

i'm so tired of excuses for coming in last

i gotta make a change and make it fast



v4

i'm waiting for that kindly light to lead

lead us to the souls that stand in need

and i trust that the blind can surely see

Your amazing grace will set them free

just like it did for me



chorus



instrumental bridge

(with voiceover of Alma 32:21, 27)



chorus x2

****
Como Estas Familia, Amigos, y Todos los Otras --


I just got done eating at Senor Frogs, with the Senior Couple - The Bradleys. They served here about a year ago, and they just left out of Ocho Rios while we were in Lucea. They have a timeshare here, so are back visiting and took us out to lunch. They're from Cherry Hill New Jersey, and are quite pleasant people indeed. I had a chimichanga. Wasn't close to as good as back home, but I'll take it for sure! Yum. We also got to listen to a fantastic selection of Michael Jackson hits while we dined. It was pleasant.

I'm working on learning more and gaining a stronger testimony of the repentance process this transfer. This last week was devoted to godly sorrow. It is a very interesting thing, developing godly sorrow. It isn't very easy either. So much of the natural man in us only feels bad about things when we see negative consequences for our actions, or when we are punished. It isn't always easy feeling genuine sorrow for something simply because we know we let our Father in Heaven down. It has been a good week for me, learning more all the while and working hard on repenting every day. I have also been thinking a lot about the differences between conversion and testimony. Conversion is decision to follow what your testimony has convinced you is true. It is pretty easy to have a testimony I think, but conversion is the real trick -- what we want for our investigators, members, and for ourselves. I'm working everyday on becoming truly converted. I've got a long way to go! I guess that's why they say the most important convert you'll have on your mission is yourself -- ain't that the truth!

Most of our investigators just aren't progressing. We took some time out this week to really analyze our teaching, what we're doing right and what we can improve on. One man we're teaching, Bro. Major, is at church every Sunday and has read the entire Book of Mormon -- but he is not progressing toward baptism at all. Some people are just stubborn, but I know if we can truly get him to gain a witness through the Spirit, help him facilitate his conversion, he'll be runnin' to jump in the water. We had a member fireside and did not have a great turnout. But the people who were there were so solid. Our point was to get new investigators, which didn't happen at all. BUT we did strengthen the members for sure. It was all about music, and strengthening our testimonies through music (yeah, I planned it. what can I say I love music?) We got numerous compliments about how uplifting it was and that made us feel good. It is part of our mission to strengthen the branch here after all, and I know testimonies were strengthened. One member told me, as I introduced my favorite hymn, How Firm a Foundation, how that was her favorite too and how it really aided in bringing her back to activity in the church after years of inactivity. She said she was crying as we sang it -- that was worth it for me, to hear that she was helped at that point.

We're also teaching a girl Clarisa, who is quite possibly my favorite lady of all time. She is hilair, and lastnight she was telling us how much she's gonna miss us when we leave. We're gonna be here for a while! She's progressing, reading all the time and praying. I know her life is about to change forever. Other than that we're having a really hard time finding new investigators. Unlike Jamaica, street contacting here is totally ineffective. No one is outside in this heat, or this tropical storm weather. So we're trying to make the most with the people we are teaching. It is hard sometimes, when nothing is going well, to want to keep going. But that's why you just hit your knees, repent for thinking negatively and being lazy, and get to work.

It is nice being able to fast and pray so much. That is a habit I want to develop for the rest of my life, because I was not taking advantage of the blessings before my mission. Now I don't think I could survive without them. Oh, another cool piece of news: I will soon have the opportunity to teach English to the Haitians here. I've been waiting for such an opportunity and I can't wait for the program to get off the ground.

A temple reccommend! Always have one! I was reading something by Pres. Hinckley earlier this week that called it his "credit card with the Lord". That is a rad way to put it, and it is totally true. Even out here, when I can't go to the temple, I love knowing that I have one in my wallet.

In other news, we had a crazy lady Patsy who we met call us like 60 times over 2 days and keep asking us to bring her stuff back from the States. She's not all there, but her niece and her daughter were calling us too and they were totally coherent so I don't know what their excuse is. Thankfully they've got the hint and quit calling us. It was mostly annoying, getting ten phone calls at four AM from random lady wanting a laptop. Blah. Oh, and the Ockeys are probably the richest people I've ever personally known. No, in fact they are. They have a private jet. And their grandkids have Ferraris. Its just too much. They're really nice people though, so it proves that not all rich people are jerks! Besides, they take great care of us so it works out well.

Your commitment this week is to be doers, not just hearers only. So many of us go to church, watch conference, or whatever -- just waiting for others to uplift and strengthen us. But how much of our personal time do we actually spend studying, learning by faith, and uplifting ourselves? We can be change agents in our own lives, and part of that is ACTING upon the counsel we receive. So many times in my life I received counsel from leaders and thought "that doesn't apply to me". Oh, how I wish I would have listened to that inspired counsel and avoided much regret and sorrow. What a better missionary I would be -- what a better person I would be. No longer do I want counsel from Apostles, the Prophet, and local leaders to fall on my deaf ears. ACT. USE YOUR AGENCY TO ACTIVELY PURSUE YOUR EXALTATION.


JAMES 1:22

I have an earache. And I don't like it.

Until next week,
Sister Payne


**Have you written to Sister Payne lately?? Get her address from the sidebar and send her some lovin**

Update.

Salutations Family, Friends, and Fans --




Yet again this will be a letter of a bunch of random thoughts because that is just the easiest way for me to express myself.



Happy 4th of July! Here Sis. Smith and I made hamburgers in a skillet, got some Lays and drank some Pepsi like real Americans. Bahamian independence day is the 10th, right around the corner so it is a week of celebration for sure! Lookin' forward to fireworks (hopefully).



We went to Paradise Island ... lifestyles of the rich and the famous. Whooooo. The rooms in the arch in the Atlantis range from $10,000 a night to $25,000. Isn't that madness? They have regular rooms of course and on special that are like $350 a night. It was cool to just be able to get out and see some tourist sights, especially after being in Lucea where you kinda think you're never gonna see anything like that ever again. It made me feel very ... humble walking by 8 million dollar yachts called "Serenity" and "Milk Money". But then you cross over the bridge and get back into the ghetto neighborhoods. So so interesting.



The Ockeys are ridiculously rich, by the way. I just thought I'd throw that out there.



We've been calling all the former investigators and following up with them. We really only have picked up three I think, out of calling like 75. Madness.



Melony rocks -- she has this LIGHT in her eyes when we visited with her for the first time since she's been baptized. It was like she was a person, plugged in to be brighter like a lamp. It was very exciting for us and we just love visiting with her. She's so rad - I'm stoked to have a friend like her.



I haven't had really any need to learn Creole yet (I mean, an urgent need) and we haven't really had any time to learn it. I'm still trying little by little.



Time flies. I've been in Nassau over a month already!



Time crawls. Yesterday felt like it would never end.



I have mini burnouts. Like a day where I'm like "I don't want to do anything today" ... but it lasts a day and I wake the next day ready to go. And Sis. Smith is so diligent she always keeps me on my best behavior :)



We have hilarious members in the branch. I'm not gonna bother explaining it because you really have to be there to see it to believe it. But know that I'm constantly laughing, every day, and especially Sunday. Except for yesterday - we had a horrible relief society meeting and all the sisters were being very catty and arguing. It is kinda the culture, but it made me really upset and I felt so flustered. I buried my head in my hands and just started praying. The lesson was about charity and love after all, and I felt nothing but contention. I know part of why I was called here was to be "an example of the believers" especially to the sisters here. It can just feel like a fruitless effort sometimes.



We got fed a whole-body fish the other day. BLECH! I'm glad they put it in a to-go box for us to bring home so I could eat some mac and cheese and Sis. Smith ate her fish and mine. I just couldn't do it man. Maybe one day, but right then and there I was like -- this isn't happening. I'm only so brave.



Your commitment for this week is to read "Sharing the Gospel with Confidence" by M. Russell Ballard, in this month's issue of the Liahona or you can find it on newsroom.lds.org. It was such a good article about not being defensive. Read it!



A mission is really preparation for the rest of your life. I have decided that is very true, and had many experiences confirming that to me lately. President Spencer W. Kimball said -- " Your mission is preparation. It is your school for eternity. You won't forget that, will you? This mission is not just a two-year stretch. This is the time when you cultivate the seeds of godhood so you can help other people on their way toward exaltation. How small are we who think of the mission as just being a stretch of time, some physical things to do, a little studying to do, some praying. This is the most purposeful thing, perhaps, you have ever done in your life and possibly the most purposeful thing some of you will ever do. It's up to you to let this be the prelude to your life, to let it be the beginning of a great and glorious life." This is JUST THE BEGINNING! =D



I want to take piano lessons when I get home. It is currently my greatest "when i get home" desire. I will continue songwriting. I love it so much!



NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!

I'm learning how to budget out here, way more than in Jamaica -- since everything is so expensive here you really gotta watch it. And we pay for our own cell phone cards (they do it minute by minute here) so we've really gotta be smart with our money. At times it can be really tough but I'm learning frugality!
 
All the best,




Sister Payne

sak pa se?

Enjoy the pix:


the way I feel when I'm sick, and the stuff I had to take to ease the pain.

Kobe Bryant's got nothin' on me.

From L to R - Elder Tanner, Elder Martinez, Elder Sizemore, me and Sister Smith on ZC day.



Greetings Family, Friends, and Fans --

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY [yesterday]!

I can't believe June is almost over. On a mission the days crawl, the weeks fly by, and the months disappear. Whew. Well this might be the most scattered e-mail of all time but I'll try to do my best, as always, to enlighten and entertain. Mwen parle pitit Creole, by the way -- and I'm learning more everyday.

First off, I've been told twice this week that I look like Celine Dion. The people here love Celine Dion so I find that to be an extreme compliment. After all, I AM the best singer in the world. Psych ;) We've been getting lots of referrals which is nice and so much more productive that just street contacting. I had the wonderful opportunity to speak in church yesterday. I talked about "finding an anchor for your faith" -- the one thing that you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, so when the storms blow the ship that is your testimony will not move with the waves because you will be anchored down. I shared how Joseph Smith is my anchor, and a sister told me afterward that my talk was "really powerful". What more could you ask for?



I got sick this last week, with a cold that I believe I caught from Elder Emery who had been in from Freeport for the Zone Conference. I was only around him for like five seconds, so that's depressing that my immune system is really that poor. But it knocked me to my feet for a solid two days, but I'm on the mend. Speaking of zone conference, we had such a great time! I got to meet President Hendricks and his wife and we had a great meeting, a sweet interview, and an overall productive, educational and enjoyable day. Plus I got mail! So that was exciting! I love mail.



So it cracks me up that everyone back home is getting engaged, and I've heard about it from three sources now, except for the actual parties who themselves are engaged. I guess that's the laziness of facebook these days. "I'll just post it as my status and that missionary out in the Caribbean will hear about it from someone else." So it goes. Congrats to all of you, you know who you are. If you're not engaged, congrats on that too, lol.



So people we're teaching. Melanie, our golden investigator, is going to be baptized on Saturday night. Can't wait! You know when you teach someone out here who has no law of chastity or word of wisdom concerns that they are golden and the Lord has been preparing them. She keeps EVERY commitment! We also picked up a former investigator, Harold. He's a Jamaican, and he came to church on Sunday. He's got some stuff to repent of but met with the branch president and has a great desire. He loves the church - he told us he's been to all the churches but he "never felt right about any of them" until he found this one. He said he "feels a warmth and a peace when he comes to church". You gotta love that, right? We extended a date to him, and he's gonna pray about it. We're also teaching Jay, an electrician who loves to debate. Once he's humbled a little bit he'll really become a great person to teach and a great servant of the Lord. That's my hope.



I've realized that I have great potential, and so do the people we're teaching. They all have the potential to be like God! So who cares where they are now ... it is all about where they are going. Allow me to talk briefly about the principle of perfection. Everyday I've been trying to be perfect at one thing. It really has been a good experience for me! You can't ever be perfect, but everyday if you're perfect at something it makes it easier to be good at it the next day while you're working on being perfect at something else. Speaking of perfection, I haven't missed a morning or evening prayer in three months and I've written in my journal every night since I've been on my mission. That's two things that I have a goal to be perfect at throughout my entire mission!



We've been getting fed lots of dinner. I had conch chowder the other night, and crab rice. We have a lot of seafood on the horizon also -- it isn't bad once I get past the smell. The miracle of a mission is that I'm able to get that stuff down, I'm serious. But we do get fed a lot of excellent meals and we'll get another one tonight! Can't wait. The Etiennes are a great RC couple from Haiti who fed us some delicious Haitian dinner the other night. I love those two -- we had a long talk about Michael Jackson, and about the second coming, and about me visiting Haiti and them visiting the west coast in the US. It is really easy to have charity and love for such wonderful, humble, hilarious, and loving people. Anytime I tell brother Etienne "sak pa se?" which means "what's up?" his face just lights up. Cool cool people, man. Seriously.



Alright -- is there any questions people have for me? I just ramble and I feel like maybe I haven't been talking about what people want to hear about. So feel free to let me know. I'm gonna finish the doctrine and covenants tonight (I'm on section 134). WHEW. It's so amazing!! I'm loving every minute of reading it -- it's like I'm reading it for the first time.

D&C 127:2

WHOA!

Alright I've gotta get going. All my love to all who are reading.

Oh I almost forgot - YOUR COMMITMENT! Are you ready? I don't know how many people actually keep these commitments, but whatever it's off my shoulders if you don't, haha. Your commitment this week is to live missionary schedule all week. Okay, not as strict as a missionary but these are the guidelines:

Rise no later than 6:30am

Retire no later than 10:30pm

Exercise for 20-30 minutes every day

Have gospel study for 1 hour everyday

and DONT WATCH TV!!!

That's like the word of wisdom y'all - adapted to the capacity of the weakest of the weak. DO IT. DO IT DO IT. Then report. What was it like? Get a taste of what it is like to be a missionary, even if you're an RM. Be reminded of it. Trust me - ITS A BLESSING!

Alright, au revoir!
xx`

Sister Payne



more lyrics? here ya go.



"LUCY"

(i wrote this about the town of Lucea. i dunno if i told you or not but it is affirmative the branch was shut down there after we left. it merged with the negril and montego bay branches. depressing.)

v1

lucy i can see you lookin up to me

beggin' me you're plaguin' me can't you see

you can only get so hot, yeah before you burn

sure i can teach ya but ya gotta wanna learn



chorus

lucy lucy lucy you're a little girl - not so innocent as you show the world

are you ready ready ready i'mma change your mind

put your hand in mine - this is your time to shine



v2

miracles can happen in the smallest towns

but there's been nothin' but trouble since you came around

and i'm ready set to start but will you ever believe

i'm not out here for my health

i'm here to set you free

chorus

instrumental bridge

chorus x2
outro

lucy lucy lucy will you ever believe

i'm out here on a mission to set you free

Fine Dining and Missionary Work

"Joseph Smith could neither write nor dictate a coherent and well-worded letter, let alone dictate a book like the Book of Mormon," Emma Smith told her son, "and though I was an active participant during the translation of the plates, and had cognizance of things as they transpired, it is marvelous to me -- a marvel and a wonder -- as much as to anyone else. My belief is that the Book of Mormon is of divine authenticity -- I have not the slightest doubt of it," she continued. " I am satisfied that no man could have dictated the writing of the manuscripts unless he was inspired; for, when acting as his scribe, your father would dictate to me hour after hour; and when returning after meals, or interruptions, he would at once begin where he had left off, without either seeing the manuscript or having any portion of it read to him. This was a usual thing for him to do. It would have been improbable that a learned man could do this, and for one so ignorant and unlearned as he was, it was simply impossible." -- Emma Smith, after she was no longer associated with the church and had long since remarried.

Hello out there family, friends and fans --

First I will start out by making you jealous. Sister Pascal, a member and RM from Haiti, made us a shrimp and lobster dinner lastnight - complete with poorboy rice and peas, steamed veggies, and a strawberry sundae. Literally, most amazing meal of all time. You would pay and arm and a leg back home to eat that good, and it was totally free. She said she always gives her best to the missionaries because she remembers what it was like to serve. My it is good to be a servant of the Lord. Sister Pascal is the flippin' best -- not even kiddin'. We ended the dinner by her saying "Come pick me up, Saturday morning, and I'm gonna take you out and I'm gonna show you people to teach." Bless her, endlessly. She's so rad. Oh and on that "be jealous of me, because that's totally not a Christlike desire" note -- we visited with Bro. Ballard and his wife, in their MANSION on eastern road. Literally - so rich he's like Jay Gatsby. It is called Bally Crystal and it was like nothing I've ever seen. That guy is so legit. His house is where the church started in Nassau - he built it up in a lot of ways. He still works so hard - he's a builder, building buildings and building up the branch. His wife is a dry Mormon - it's only a matter of time til she gets baptized. She's at church every week, lol.



I have learned the days of the week in Creole - which are very similiar to Spanish. I think I could pick up on the language pretty well because I know a good deal of Spanish. We actually found someone to teach us too. Jenny Jean Paul, a recent convert from Haiti, loves helping out and serving and agreed to give us a lesson three times a week. Stellar! Church was wonderful yesterday and our investigator with a baptism date Melanie came for her 2nd time and really enjoyed it. She has such personality and is so sweet and keeps every commitment we leave her. This week we left Alma 32 and she came back totally reciting the mustard seed parable and asked how she could water her seed! She asked great questions after watching 'The Restoration' and one night we went to teach her the word of wisdom, but as we walked in I could tell she was frustrated from her work week. I just started launching into explaining Joseph in Liberty Jail and reading from D&C 121-122. She was way into it, and I really felt the Spirit. I completely bogarted the lesson from Sis. Smith though, which drove away the Spirit. I'm trying to be better at that because you know me, I could talk for a kajillion years about one topic. I gotta stop to breathe sometimes!



We also met with this guy Jay this week. We got lost on the total wrong side of town, and he drove by and asked if we were missionaries and why we hadn't come to his neighborhood before. He said he'd driven by a Latter Day Saint church but didn't know what that meant. When I told him we were the missionaries from that very same church he got so excited and gave us his card and told us to call him a.s.a.p to set up an appointment. Well we did, and though he has a lot of things he's gotta learn and unlearn, he seems willing and interested. He came to Sacrament Mtg yesterday, and we taught him with a member, Sis. Altidor, all about the restoration. It was like this light shifted in his eyes - from thinking he knew everything about everything to having this new information and getting its importance. The coolest part was he had talked about the Catholic church being his preferred one, because "it was first so every other church had to have just branched off of that one." When I explained Christ establishing His church during His earthly ministry and the apostasy, he had this "whoa" moment. Man, it was such a great lesson. I'm excited to meet with him again -- I feel like we met him for a reason. We were lost on that street for a reason. Now if we can just bear down in pure testimony to him and leave it up to him ... great things could happen.



We also met with Sis. Walkine this week - a super sweet member - who is so excited about missionary work. She fed us a surprise dinner too, all Bahamian goodness and it was delicious. (Yes, I've been eating pork and seafood and I thought both was fantastic. Who am I? I don't even know. It's the miracle of a mission I suppose.) She is so obsessed with politics its hilarious. She talked for like an hour all about how much she loves Mitt Romney and all of this. Apparently she is hugely involved with American politics and considers herself Bahamian American and is trying to move to Florida to be a conservative voice in the state. It is hard not to talk about politics on your mission, especially with Sis. Walkine around. I told her she had to meet my mom, cause they would get along swimmingly. I mean -- Fox News was on when we got to her house. Awesome much?



I have really learned how to pray out here. I mean, I'm still learning - but that is a skill I've begun to truly treasure. Really honestly communicating with my Father in Heaven has made all the difference. Rather than vain repetitions or just hoping someone is listening, I know He's there and I know He's listening. It has really helped, and I'm striving to gain a spiritual witness and conversion to the reality of the restoration. I know it to be true in my head, and I've felt it in my heart, but I'm craving a burning witness from the Spirit of the truthfulness -- something I can recognize and cannot deny -- something that I ask my investigators to try to get all the time. I realized until I'm converted, enough that if I were an investigator I would be baptized, there's no way I could aid in converting someone else, or learning Creole, or whatever. I'm working on repenting daily, and making small strides each day at a time. I just want to be GREAT! Who wants to sacrifice so much and return home in 18 months saying "I served an average mission"? Not me.



My doctrinal questions of the week are: why did we have to come to Earth to receive a body? Why couldn't Heavenly Father have just given us a body when we were still in the pre-mortal world? Is that an eternal law or something? And what about the Holy Ghost? Will the Holy Ghost ever get a body? And what does Begotten even mean? I'm the worst english teacher ever, I'm like yeah I don't know that definition.



My commitment for you all is to FAST FROM FACEBOOK AND TELEVISION! At least for one day, but you know yourself. Really truly fast from it (ie a fast from breakfast is just skipping a meal. if you just don't check it for an afternoon that's not a fast) I have seen out here when I have taken away stupid distractions and eliminated worldly priorities how much stuff we get done in one day. DO IT. I promise you you'll see something. You'll learn something from it. Well I'm outta here. Off to check out Ft. Fincastle and the Queen's Staircase.

Au Revoir,

Sister Payne


another song for you:


"Mirrors and Windows"

v1

tell me why is it so impossible for me to see the world the way You do

tell me am i broken inside? i am filled with love but it can't get through - to them

v2

why is it always me against them all when it should be You and I on their side?

the more i learn the more i try to change and the more i see Your image in their face - in their place

chorus

im trying my best to change these mirrors into windows

forget the 'what's in it for me?'s and world's acclaim

trying to put myself aside when i'm so relaxed in my pride

but i'm learning what it means to wear Your name

v3

now i'm seeing 20/20* for the first time and i'm off to tell the world what You have done

been trying my best to win the battle never knowing that the war's already won - and that's the miracle

chorus

bridge

how blessed am i to be brought so low only to be brought higher and higher and higher

how great the love that's sent from up above that lifts us all up higher and higher

chorus x2

outro

what's in it for them - what can i really offer - help me Lord to know

what's my purpose here - please help erase my feats - Lord help me there to help them here


* 1 Nephi 20:20

She's on to the BAHAMAS!!

"Did you hear that noise? That boom? That was my mind blowing." - Marshall Flinkman, ALIAS
Greetings Family, Friends, and Fans --

This will be my last e-mail from Jamaica for a while. I got the phone call this morning that I am being transferred, along with Sister Smith ... TO NASSAU in the BAHAMAS! We were sure we weren't going to get transferred, let alone off island since sisters, not even Jamaican sisters, have never served in the Bahamas before. I could get used to this groundbreaking thing. We leave Wednesday morning flying out of MoBay Airport. The adventure continues! I know God trusts me on this mission. It is a privilege to serve off island -- apparently a lot of Elders are jealous because you have to really work up to it and we're leaving so soon. I don't know what we did to deserve it. They said we lit a dead area on fire and they're really proud of us. I'm looking forward to the next leg of this amazing race! (Can you believe only 16 months left? Yikes!)



I will be sad to be leaving Lucea however. Karl was confirmed, got the gift of the Holy Ghost and ordained a Priest in the Aaronic Priesthood on Sunday. It will be hard not to continue on to see his growth. Not to mention we've been teaching Eddie Grant - the most AMAZING and hilarious guy who also is an amazing cook - and he has a baptism date for June 9th and we won't get to be here. That's a tid bit heartbreaking, and we just don't know the future of the Lucea Branch. It is hard to leave, always wondering what could have been if you stayed ... but that is the nature of the beast, I suppose. We have received loads of free mangos, tis the season, from various people and they are absolutely delicious. This sweet lady who is 120 years old if she's a day had us come to her house at 7am to get some. She shouted in her pajamas from her room "Life in Jamaica is hard ... but it is SWEET!" Amen lady. Amen.



Okay okay other news. I saw someone eat saltfish for the first time which was totally disgusting. They shoved an entire fish head in their mouth! That's just wrong. But I ate callaloo and breadfruit and both are totally delicious.We've been frying plantains and eating them with fried eggs for breakfast ... also delicious. Peanut and pumpkin flavored stuff is here a plenty ... also delicious. Oh and porridge and oats for breakfast? Yum. We painted a house for an investigator Marlon ... that was fun and I got paint all over my clothes. I love how when we teach here kids just gather around us and love to listen and sing. Random neighborhood kids come and join in the lessons with the whiteys and sing "I am a Child of God" with us. It reminds me of when Christ came and all the children came to Him. Kids can recognize light, I think. Speaking of Christlike, we climbed to the top of this mountain after it had finished raining for five hours straight. It was a mudslide. It was hand over hand, in my jumper no less, just to visit with this lady who got mad at us because we didn't give her any food. Then she started speaking in "tongues" and almost fell off her bed. That was a priceless experience. I felt like Indiana Jones. The coolest thing, and most Christlike thing I could even imagine, was when we got down off the mountain and I was covered in mud and carrying my shoes that were filled with mud and too heavy to wear, these strangers called us over and a lady washed my feet while her husband washed my shoes. We didn't even know them. It blew me away.



Bro. McLean in our branch -- I'm really gonna miss him. He has such a strong testimony of the priesthood and his calling and of the gospel. I'll miss Andrea, the atheist we were teaching who isn't really an atheist. I'll miss Sis. Chen-Sang, a return missionary who served in Atlanta in 2001 who is really struggling right now and needs a good support system. I'll miss Jennifer, who I can barely understand and who asked to have our clothes when we left. I'll miss Maris, who is the nicest lady and reminded me so much of my sisters I just wanted to stay around her forever. I'll miss Peter who always offers us food, and apparently grew up with Dudus Coke and Bob Marley. I'll miss Ernesto, an inactive member from the DR who we just met and his girlfriend Novlett who believes in the trinity despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary. I'll miss the people who refuse to listen to us, and the people who chat us from across the street. Ahhh Lucea. Nothin' like it.



I'm struggling with burnout at times. I feel so tired all of the time from the intense heat or intense rain. We climb the craziest hills (I get to drive when we get to Nassau) and the days are long, but the weeks fly by. I JUST WANNA BE AN AMAZING MISSIONARY! A consecrated one. A Dan-Jones-Missionary. I've been thinking a lot about "the errand of angels" -- no not that cheesy movie no one saw about sister missionaries -- but the actual term as in 'as sisters in zion'. I'm trying to figure out what that really means, and how I can apply that in my mission. I've noticed my usual sources of spiritual strength are in short supply out here (ie books, videos, music, movies, the temple, church, friends, family, etc). All the things and people and places that lift me up and inspire me are not at my fingertips. That forces me to really rely on my personal relationship with the Savior, my personal study skills, see how weak they are and learn to strengthen them and utilize them.



I've started keeping a dream journal cause I have the most random dreams out here. I've also loved watching THE RESTORATION dvd. Aside from the fact that I can't figure out if the guy transcribing when Joseph translates is Kirby Heyborne or not, and aside from the fact that the older Joseph looks exactly like Josh Johnson and it trips me out ... I love watching it! I love how it shows Joseph coming out of the sacred grove, and the look on his face. I had never really thought about the immediate aftermath of the first vision. That's such a cool thought!
Anyway, moving on now. Stay tuned, this jazz is just beginning. Wish me luck, keep me in your prayers and all of that. I love you all. Keep Lucea in your prayers as well as Nassau!

Cool Runnings,
Sister Payne

PS

I miss my guitar!
 
*** SISTER PAYNE SAYS THAT SHE PLUGS IN EVERYTHING NORMALLY, JUST LIKE IN THE STATES.

Some words and a song.

Wa'gwaan Family Friends and Fans!

It's a hot one here in Lucea these days - don't believe the forecast, with the humidity add at least ten degrees. But out of the depths of heat comes GREAT NEWS! Karl Graham, the gentleman who found us on the street and asked us to pray for him and fell in love with the plan of salvation pamphlet -- HE WAS BAPTIZED YESTERDAY! We met him two weeks ago, and he was baptized right after church yesterday at Watson Teller Beach. Contrary to popular belief, beach baptisms are not as cool as font baptisms. Fonts are way more spiritual, and due to the great and spacious building that was shouting things about Selassie from the water and chanting unpleasant remarks to us Christians, it wasn't exactly as we had hoped. But Karl was strong and it didn't phase him. He said the day before his baptism he had met a guy on the street who started talking to him about another religion and said we were false prophets and everything, and for a bit he had decided he didn't want to go through with it, but he told us he realized it was Satan trying to deter him from a righteous path and so he overcame it and couldn't wait to be baptized. It was a wonderful day, the whole branch weathered the long and arduous walk to the beach and supported him. Huzzah! Our work is just beginning here now - we've gotta be sure we teach him more, fellowship him, and find more people to follow in his footsteps! (PS We don't have ward missionaries, so all of the after-baptism teaching is done by us missionaries. At least we'll stay busy!) Karl had been unemployed when he found him, bad luck followed by bad luck. The day before he was baptized he got a phone call about two job opportunities and he called us to tell us he knew it was a blessing from God. After we had given him a Book of Mormon with our testimonies inside, he called us bright and early the next morning singing our testimonies to us over the phone. He's a great guy - we're lucky to have met him!



People are very superstitious here. One investigator had been dodging us, and finally she ran into us in the city and confessed that she thought we were a cult who sacrificed people in the temple and drank blood and all of that. Apparently a tv program here had a former member go on and say we were vampires, so a lot of people believe that too. I'm glad we could clear that up. They also think that if water gets on their heads they'll get sick, so they wear rags on their heads when it rains. Bizarre much? We taught this guy Stefan this week who grew up in the states, and used to think he was Jesus and believes the Bible but doesn't believe Christ was resurrected or that most of the apostles existed. He's a character, I tell ya. Pauline, a lady we're teaching, loves the church and we're gonna extend her a baptism date soon. She couldn't make to church yesterday, so she sent her daughter and her two sons. They all came to the baptism, and her daughter Shontel asked for her own Book of Mormon and asked what chapter she should read first. Totally awesome - and we taught this guy Eddie who wants to be baptized as soon as possible. He lives far away and hasn't ever been to church, so we'll work harder on getting him to keep his commitments, but he LOVED the Restoration DVD - "This answers all the questions I've been having" ... very cool.



Some things we've been doing is writing letters to the members in the branch encouraging them to fight the good fight. We had a less active back at church for the first time since we've been here because of the letters, so that was cool. We've also been rewarding ourselves based on our key indicators for the day (ie if we get 3 new investigators we get to buy some ice cream). It's surprisingly effective, haha. We got to go to Bull's Bay and Fort Charlotte on P Days. Fort Charlotte is the #1 tourist attraction in Lucea - which made me crack up. It's so run down - I'd try to describe it but I couldn't even if I tried. You'll see pictures eventually.



We had one guy we were teaching, Leroy, the one who had a problem and wouldn't tell us and was really struggling to find work ... well he called us and said he can't meet with us anymore because the Church of God is paying his bills, so he's going to that church now. It broke my heart - it literally felt like someone breaking up with us. They do that a lot here we've noticed, buy their congregations. They build a shoddy house for someone and then make them pledge their devotion to their church so they can get tithes from them. They make them pay tithes or they don't let them come to church. Churches are a fashion show too here - much more a social thing than a spiritual. We've received many comments from people who say they quit going to churches because they felt judged, or they thought it was just a franchise. Many people on the street just ask us for money, or ask us what we'll give them if they get baptized. I respond with "Joy in this world and eternal life in the world to come." They usually just walk away, money more important than salvation when they're dealing with the reality of Jamaica I suppose. I do not judge them though - I've often thought "What would I think if I was raised here? What would my priority be if I was this person?" After all, a lot of people here don't even know their ages or their last names, let alone have a concept of their divine worth. It's hard for them to picture anything glorious, or being loved by a perfect Father in Heaven, when they don't know their father here and anything glorious is defined by how much it cost. It's sad though, when we know we have the greatest gift they could possibly receive. But, like President Monson said - "Make the stand for right, even if you stand alone."



There's been some HEAVY RAIN. It totally blows our days because no one is on the street to contact, and everyone cancels their appointments because it is raining. That makes it rough, and I guess its just the beginning. The heat is really the hardest thing to deal with - it exhausts you and you sweat buckets all day everyday. I guess I'm getting used to it, as much as you could get used to such a thing.



Okay okay, about this civil unrest business. Don't worry about it - apparently it is all over the news. It is on the other end of the island, and Lucea is the best place to be right now. They said they expected stuff to start going down around labor day, but the elders in Kingston and Spanish Town are on lockdown and they're keeping a good watch on everything. We stayed in last Monday night just to be safe. I don't feel in danger and I'm not worried. The Lord protects us as long as we are faithful and obedient, and I'm lucky to be here in Lucea. We'll keep you updated if anything else happens - just say your prayers they catch this guy! Speaking of prayers, thank you to all who have been sending prayers our way. I can feel them! I can do what I do because of them! Keep them comin!



Okay my commitment for you all is to HAVE HOPE! Our hope is manifest in our confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance. It is a belief and expectation that something will occur. Make an effort to HAVE HOPE this week, and I know it will bless your life. The church is true - Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, and I'm so grateful for his faith in turning to God in humble prayer and asking for the answer he knew he would receive. I'm grateful for my calling - for the mantle that has been placed on me that I am trying every so desparately to fill. I know my Savior lives, and I know that it is only through His grace that I can be made perfect. We all need the atonement the same amount - President Monson needs it just as much as a criminal - for without His atoning sacrifice none of us could make it. I love Jesus Christ, and I love His gospel and I know it really is EASY to follow - once we have that change of heart. It truly is the only source of eternal happiness.



Alright I'm off, but before I go I thought I'd send some lyrics that I've written since I've been here =) Take Care. I LOVE YOU ALL!



Cool Runnings,

Sistah Payne

Hebrews 6:10



"Kingston"



v1

driving up this mountain view

its hard to see what men can do

i never knew i had so much

man i was so out of touch



v2

middle of the night hear the screams

see the sleepers in the street

wonder what i'm doing here

called to serve but still i fear



prechorus

yes i have a message

but i am just a girl

i can barely speak you know

but He can save the world



chorus

crowded skies - crowded streets

lovely seas and lovely heat

high hopes and higher dreams

on an island fit for a King



v3

everywhere's a souvenir

memories of my time here

miracles within my grasp

hidden under broken glass



prechorus

a people fall so far

but a person they can change

in my heart i'm set apart

to save a life today



chorus x2