tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63073070630286014412024-03-14T00:43:34.336-07:00Sister Payne's Missionary Blog"Missionary service is not easy, but it is infinitely worth it."
-M.Russell BallardAshleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-87824861997997078102011-10-14T13:00:00.000-07:002011-10-14T13:00:21.264-07:00The last set of letters- Sister Payne will be home in 6 days!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div>Family, Friends, and Fans --</div><div> </div><div>with absolute and utter haste im gonna tell you about my week because i'm running out of time. the more of my friends that get released and go home the more emails i get and so the more time is taken up with reading and less with writing. here we go:</div><div> </div><div>i found out this week pres. decker, my branch president back home, is now my new stake president back home and so he's gonna be the one to release me. how awesome is that? basically the coolest news of all time right? i thought so.</div><div> </div><div>i got a letter from demetri in mandeville which was the most adorable thing ever. he had drawn a picture of joseph smith and stuff. it made my heart melt and it was great hearing how that little munchkin is still so strong.</div><div> </div><div>while in spanish town for transfers, we accidently drove down a one way (the wrong way) and then sis speakman pulled over right into a giant ditch. we literally had a whole heap of random jamaicans coming and lifting the front of our car and pushing down on the back and lifted it out of the ditch for us. never a dull day, yo.</div><div> </div><div>transfer news! well obviously sis speakman and sis wilkinson went home. I am training Sis Havili from Salt Lake City. She's Tongan, 21, member her whole life but not active til very recently. We get along and I am loving the whole training experience. It's not without its challenges of course, but its keeping me on my Ps and Qs because whatever I do, she goes. She's like a shadow or a mirror image. So, I'm out of bed on time every morning for the first time in a long time. It's nice.</div><div> </div><div>She shared a great insight with me about how she came back to church and experienced the conversion process. She had a rough rough life she was living and said she didn't have a testimony or anything. But after so many years of being exhausted by sin she just came to a realization that if she didn't have a belief in God and Christ and a relationship with them than she didn't have anything. She wanted that and she said once she was able to come back to church and really feel of the love of God in her life it was completely life changing and she knew she had to come on a mission. Rockin.</div><div> </div><div>I made her a green dinner - ackee, curry chicken back and rice - all with green food coloring. She wasn't enthused haha.</div><div> </div><div>We had a back to school party on friday that was a success - 2 less actives and 1 investigator came. The kids really enjoyed themselves. Bro. Francis finally came to church (WAHOO!) and so did 2 other investigators. Things are going pretty good. It's been crazy to think that 9/11 was ten years ago. It's really caused me to sit back and reflect on the hope that is offered in the gospel of Jesus Christ, even in the worst of times.</div><div> </div><div>Speaking of hope, here's an insight that I learned in personal study this morning... some scriptures edited by me:</div><div> </div><div>2 nephi 33:</div><div><a href="" name="1325f099e2c1f2b7_1325ea2413890d9c_6" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a><span>6 </span>I <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/33?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=33&noteID=6a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">glory</a> in <sup>b</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/33?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=33&noteID=6b&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">plainness</a>; I glory in truth; I glory in my Jesus, for he hath <sup>c</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/33?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=33&noteID=6c&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">redeemed</a> my soul from hell.<br />
<a href="" name="1325f099e2c1f2b7_1325ea2413890d9c_7" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a><span>7 </span>I have <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/33?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=33&noteID=7a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">charity</a> for my people, and great faith in Christ that I shall meet many souls spotless at his judgment-seat.<br />
<a href="" name="1325f099e2c1f2b7_1325ea2413890d9c_8" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a><span>8 </span>I have charity for the American—I say American, because I mean them from whence I came.<br />
<a href="" name="1325f099e2c1f2b7_1325ea2413890d9c_9" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a><span>9 </span>I also have charity for the Jamaicans. But behold,<strong> for none of <sup>a</sup></strong><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/33?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=33&noteID=9a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank"><strong>these</strong></a><strong> can I hope except they shall be <sup>b</sup></strong><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/33?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=33&noteID=9b&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank"><strong>reconciled</strong></a><strong> unto Christ, and enter into the <sup>c</sup></strong><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/33?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=33&noteID=9c&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank"><strong>narrow</strong></a><strong> <sup>d</sup></strong><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/33?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=33&noteID=9d&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank"><strong>gate</strong></a><strong>, and <sup>e</sup></strong><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/33?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=33&noteID=9e&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank"><strong>walk</strong></a><strong> in the <sup>f</sup></strong><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/33?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=33&noteID=9f&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank"><strong>strait</strong></a><strong> path which leads to life, and continue in the path until the end of the day of<sup>g</sup></strong><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/33?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=33&noteID=9g&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank"><strong>probation</strong></a><strong>.</strong><br />
I realized it doesn't matter how much love I have for someone if I don't try to help them gain eternal life .. because I can love them like crazy, but that love is hopeless unless I can labor to have that love extended into eternity ... if that makes any sense.<br />
I have also learned that missionary work is a ministry of reconciliation (Moroni 10:33 - 2 Cor 5:18 - Heb 5:9)<br />
And I have also learned that we have two choices for how we want our lives to go. We can choose cycle A:<br />
sin -> burden -> depression -> hatred of self -> impure thoughts -> restart cycle<br />
or Cycle B:<br />
repentance -> forgivenss -> joy&peace -> hatred of sin -> pure thoughts<br />
Anyway, the October issue of the Liahona and Ensign magazines are completely devoted to the Book of Mormon - explanations and answers and articles. It is amazing and we've used it already in so many lessons. GET ONE!<br />
I'm off to have a killer week. Ya know, when I was in Nassau I wasn't a very good missionary. I was disobedient and lazy. I have regretted the six months that I spent there ever since leaving there ... but I'm determined for the next six weeks to make up for those six months. I'm not who I was!<br />
All the best from Jamrock,<br />
Sister Payne</div><div><br />
</div><div>****</div><div><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><div>Hey Family Friends and Fans -- wagwaan?</div><div> </div><div>ALMA<a href="" name="13282c2462c1a616_48" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a><span>48 </span>I say unto you, that<strong> I know of myself that whatsoever I shall say unto you</strong>, concerning that which is to come, <strong>is true</strong>; and I say unto you, that I know that Jesus Christ shall come, yea, the Son, the Only Begotten of the Father, <strong>full of grace, and mercy, and truth. </strong>And behold, it is he that cometh to take away the sins of the world, yea, the sins of every man who steadfastly believeth on his name.<br />
<span>60 </span>And now I say unto you that the good shepherd doth call after you; and if you will hearken unto his voice he will bring you into his fold, and ye are his sheep;<br />
<a href="" name="13282c2462c1a616_62" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a><span>62 </span>I speak by way of command unto you that belong to the church; and unto those who do not belong to the church I speak by way of invitation, saying: Come and be baptized unto repentance, that ye also may be partakers of the fruit of the <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/5.48?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=alma&chapterUri=5&noteID=62a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">tree</a> of life.</div><div>Lots to write this week. LOTS. But probably not that much, actually. I listened to Glenn Beck's conversion story again this week. That makes like 4 times in 9 months. I just love it love it love it ;) ... Okay anyway I'll start with my personal study insight from this morning...</div><div> </div><div>after reading "Beware of Pride" by Ezra Taft Benson, then reading Alma 1-5, I learned that the opposite of Pride is a CHANGE of Heart - and since the opposite of pride is humility then that means that humility = a change of heart... so the key to conversion is humility, as evidenced in Mosiah 3:19. It was a EUREKA moment for me, as one trying desparately to retain the mighty change of heart.</div><div> </div><div>Sister Havili is hilarious, and can be super stubborn but admits it. We got these giant avocados that were not ripe. She wanted to eat one so bad she was gonna cut it open. I'm like dude, they're not ripe. You have to wait. In her head she thought "whatever, she doesn't know what she's talking about ...." busted it open, not ripe can't eat it ... couldn't admit that I was right til like 2 days later. Hilarious. Being a self motivated missionary has proven to be essential in these last weeks of training on my mission. Naturally, she looks to me in EVERYTHING. She won't do anything I don't do, and if I don't do something she won't either - if that makes any sense. So I'm left to be 100% motivated on my own, no one pushing me or setting the example for me to follow this time. It has been tough, but rewarding.</div><div> </div><div>I absolutely LOVE the Book of Mormon. I'm trying to finish it one more time before I return, and I just started Alma so I think I'll be able to do it if I stay focused and keep having Spirit filled study sessions like I did today. I <strong>AM</strong> Amulek. He and I are kindred spirits. He's my hero.</div><div> </div><div>Investigator updates: hopefully some baptisms on the horizon. Teachinv Kev-Kev, a recent convert's nephew who's at church every week. Teaching Travis still ... hope to set dates for them this week... Still teaching Bro. Francis - and a new guy, Emmanuel, who Sis Speakman talked to right before she left, actually came to church yesterday so he's promising as well. Retention shot back up from zero to five so that was a huge relief. We met an awesome British lady named Gabriella who sincerely wanted to check out the church back in London. That was a tender mercy.</div><div> </div><div>I got my first bout of runny belly yesterday. In 18 months, not half bad. Now I know what all those horror stories from the Elders were all about. I'll um ... spare you the details. You're welcome.</div><div> </div><div>I'm still continuing to learn so much. I did an indepth study about the Lord's expectations for me as a mission - studying my call, my patriarchal blessing, and the scriptures. It was amazing. I feel like if we all really took the time out to study what the Lord's expectations are for us in our various spheres, then set goals and made plans to reach His expectations rather than our own, we would see progress that is not met in common hours ;)</div><div> </div><div>I also learned a lot about how prevention is better than redemption ... when a glass shatters, you may not clean up every last shard ... the event is forgotten - a new glass is purchased ... but time goes on and the small almost invisible shards remain, so when you walk by barefoot unsuspectingly you get juked by the old memory ... if we never break the glass in the first place, there's no clean up needed and no chance for future pain...</div><div> </div><div>I read a talk by Elder Bednar about clinging to the rod of iron versus continually holding fast to it --- small but energetic jolts of spirituality and faith are not going to sustain us through the challenges of mortality - rather it is steady consistent effort and trust in the Lord that will keep us on the straight and narrow path... we can't just throw up a prayer in times of crisis and keep a commandment here or two and expect joy and happiness and peace along the way...</div><div> </div><div>We had a good reading class - 2 members and 1 investigator came. Literacy is everything man... everything. I enjoy teaching. We also had a great lunch with our DLs and ZLs at Anna Banana - the only real nice restaurant in Porty. It was pretty legit, I guess.</div><div> </div><div>I think that's it for now. I've got one month left. Um. .. that's strange.</div><div> </div><div>Love always</div><div>the ever so faithful</div><div>not trunky at all</div><div>hard working training</div><div>skinny farmers tanned</div><div>sister missionary</div><div> </div><div>Sister Payne</div><div>****</div><div><br />
</div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Hey Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
<br />
28 emails when I login = very little time for me to respond to everyone. Here it goes.<br />
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GENERAL CONFERENCE IS COMING UP! As a missionary I'm extending a commitment to all to first, WATCH IT. Second, prayerfully ponder questions that you have about life, spirituality, whatever anything that you need guidance from Heavenly Father about and then write those questions down. Third, watch the messages and write down what the Spirit teach you in regards to your questions. I'm so blessed, this will make my third conference on my mission. I couldn't be more excited. If the Relief Society meeting was any indication, it's going to be a weekend of revelation and amazing counsel. Be sure to perk up, look your best to watch conference even if its at home. Our feelings toward Christ's representatives are very closely associated with our feelings toward Christ himself.<br />
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The Relief Society meeting was so boss. Pres. Uchtdorf's talk was right on the money and exactly what I needed. He talked about how we can't forget to be patient with ourselves (amen, hallelujah, counsel directly to me) and that we need to stop punishing ourselves just because we're not perfect. He talked about Willy Wonka, and how we can't forget the simple joy in a candy bar while searching for our golden ticket that may never come. Aka we can't keep thinking "oh my life will be better when..." and meanwhile be missing all the little things that make our life great!<br />
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I've been working on a lot of things this week - my thoughts and my words - being refined, dignified, and virtuous. Difficult. I have an overactive brain. I hate it. But I read my patriarchal blessing often to give me hope and excitement for the future (yes I'm coming home soon, and I'm freaking out about it! Major change = no fun for Major Payne).<br />
<br />
Investigators Kev Kev and Travis are doing great. Travis will be baptized this Sunday, and Kev Kev the following Sunday. Sweetest. Boys. Ever.<br />
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This has been the hardest six weeks of my mission, lol. It's hard to focus, hard to train, hard to endure to the end I suppose. Rewarding though. Very glad I got extended, and during the hardest times I suppose I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it gets brighter everyday. So it works.<br />
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The kids in the branch have been great missionaries. We saw them on the road Friday evening, gave them tons of pass along cards and tracts and told them to go pass them out. You've never seen kids so excited, they were all over the place "here take this, come to church" bearing testimony and everything. Man, I need to be more like them!<br />
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I learned some awesome stuff from Elder Holland this week, via Sister Havili. I guess he spoke while she was in the MTC. He said some powerful statements about how there's no difference between the calling of an apostle and the calling of a missionary. Like hi, intense! No wonder this has been such a stressful 18 months! He also gave what he called the 3 pieces of advice for your entire life in order to be successful. They were:<br />
1) serve an honorable mission<br />
2) marry as honestly and directly as you can. the majority of blessings we receive in this life are dependent upon who you marry<br />
and 3) get as much education as you can<br />
#1 - check. #2 and 3 - workin on em ;)<br />
<br />
Alright, sorry it's not the most exciting email in the world, but like seriously there's only so much I can say.<br />
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All the best from the east to the west,<br />
<br />
Sister Payne</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><div></div></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">****</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div>Greetings Family, Friends, and Fans --</div><div> </div><div>Woo! General Conference weekend = Sister Payne wanting to write a novel home... I'll try to keep it short and concise.</div><div> </div><div>Here were themes that I noticed this conference: standing up for what we believe in, God being the same yesterday, today and forever ... aligning our life with God's priorities rather than our own ... missionaries and the importance of missionary work ... technology being used in God's way for His divine purposes ... I'm sure others will arise when I study the talks further.</div><div> </div><div>Highlights included:</div><div><strong>Saturday morning</strong> - Elder Scott's talk about the scriptures ... I LOVE the scriptures and loved the message.</div><div><strong>Saturday afternoon</strong> - Ian S Ardern's talk about using time wisely ... not only was it preach my gospel based but it was something I can always be working on, especially after I get home. I felt that talk was inspired.</div><div><strong>Priesthood Session</strong> - (yes, we got to watch the Priesthood session. I was the only one that could work the wireless PC to TV hookup and the internet feed so we had to be there so I was like shoot we're watching this ...) W. Christopher Waddell's talk about applying the fruit of the sacrifice ... AMAZING. As someone returning home soon, I was just like whoa - ON POINT. It taught me that I now have to apply the lessons learned on my mission or else my sacrifice is in vain. (As I type this Celine Dion is blaring outside. Amazing. I'm gonna miss Jamaica!!! *sigh*)</div><div><strong>Sunday Morning</strong> - Tad R. Callister's talk about The Book of Mormon was INCREDIBLE! He laid it DOWN. The Book of Mormon is either the word of God or the work of the devil. There is<u>NO</u> middle ground. Jesus Christ is either the Son of God and Messiah or He is an imposter - there is <u>NO </u>middle ground. The book isn't just something good for some people but not for others. Christ is not just some good teacher, for if He were just a teacher but NOT the Son of God that would make Him a liar, which would consequently make Him a very bad teacher indeed. I loved how he shared the story about the girl and her friend ... "I've researched your church, and I know it isn't true .." <em>"Have you read and prayed about The Book of Mormon?"</em> ... "well, no ..." "Then you haven't researched my church, for I have read it multiple times cover to cover and know by the power of the Holy Ghost that it is the word of God." BOSS.</div><div><strong>Sunday Afternoon</strong> - Matthew O Richardson's talk about teaching was great, seeing as that's like my calling now and my profession in the future. It dealt directly with the new concepts we've been learning in the mission field. It spoke to me! :)</div><div> </div><div>Honorable mentions go to Neil L Andersen's talk about marriage and parenthood (that being a mother is a CALLING) and Holland's talk in Priesthood (UNBIND YOUR TONGUES AND WATCH YOUR WORDS WORK MIRACLES -- if that wasn't a spiritual punch in the face I don't know what was) ... and M. Russel Ballard's talk about the name of the church. All amazing, spiritual, educational, and edifying.</div><div> </div><div>Who is YOUR favorite person to hear at General Conference?</div><div> </div><div>Alright other news from this week include, Kyle, a 13 year old member, comes teaching with us everyday after he gets out of school. He's like our BFF now - walks everywhere with us and made himself a little name tag. It's basically the cutest thing ever. One thing that has really made me sad this week is noticing how these kids are used to being hungry. Many of them skip breakfast and lunch and only have dinner. Many of them don't eat for a couple days at a time. It's painful. I wish I could feed em all. I have learned this week that I have no visual memory whatsoever. I don't remember faces, only names. So --- if I forget some of you when I get home, don't be offended. Haha, jk.</div><div> </div><div>I have heard of this MOTAB Flashmob business, but I have not seen it. Is it as legit as everyone says it is? Flashmobs are cool.</div><div> </div><div>It was great to get the birthday wishes, a birthday card and a letter from Lorelei this week. I appreciate all of your emails and love and encouragement. I can't believe that I'll be home before October is over. That's slightly disturbing and stressful but I'm trying to keep my eyes on the Sky.</div><div> </div><div>We almost got attacked by three killer dogs this week, and I'm not joking. If not for the dogs in our yard at our apartment barking and scaring them away, they would have mauled us. They were after us full force, us running full speed ... something to laugh about after my heart started beating again.</div><div> </div><div>I finished reading the new Relief Society book "Daughters in my Kingdom" -- it made me excited to do visiting teaching, which was weird. ;)</div><div> </div><div>Scriptures of the week are:</div><div>Alma 30:32-35, 40-44</div><div> </div><div>Oh, so you wanna know how my birthday was... probably the worst birthday of all time. I had runny belly. Now, I thought I had runny belly before. But I didn't. I don't know what I had a couple weeks ago, but it was NOTHING compared to what I had on my birthday. Let's just say I spent 6 am to 12 pm back and forth to the bathroom. I thought I had cholera. I believe back home they call this montezuma's revenge or something. I'm okay now, I guess. My digestive system SUCKS. So I basically don't feel like I had a birthday haha. That's okay. I don't really care. A sign of personal growth I suppose. We celebrated our birthdays today (Sis. Havili's is Sunday) by taking a two hour nap.</div><div> </div><div>Here is my <a href="http://mormon.org/" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">mormon.org</a> profile, incase you're interested.</div><div><a href="http://mormon.org/me/4CMF/" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">http://mormon.org/me/4CMF/</a></div><div> </div><div>Alright, last but not least, WE HAD A BAPTISM YESTERDAY! Travis was baptized between sessions of General Conference. He was super brave, really excited and well behaved, absolutely adorable, and we're very happy. He'll be confirmed this coming Sunday. Hopefully Kev-Kev (another investigator) is going to be baptized Sunday morning as well.</div><div> </div><div>All my love from your NOT trunky Sistah,</div><div>Sister Payne</div><div> ****</div><div><br />
</div><div><img height="240" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=2d7801f6cd&view=att&th=132cb45f71a3eadc&attid=0.4&disp=inline&realattid=f_gtau9ffq3&zw" width="320" /></div><div><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Wa'ta'gwaan Family Friends and Fans --<br />
<br />
Nuttin a g'waan here with us, but here's a short update. Since this is my 2nd to last email home (I'm assuming, still no flight information haha) I'll try to make it a really good one.<br />
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I'll start by saying: Kevin was baptized yesterday! (He goes by Kev Kev). He and Travis were both confirmed yesterday and all was well. It was a great day!<br />
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Bro. Francis, our other main investigator, is super less effective now. We're giving him one last chance to keep a commitment before we move on. We're struggling to find new investigators, so that'll be our main focus this week. We're gonna have a youth service project on Saturday, cleaning up the shoreline (you wouldn't believe the garbage here), and we're gonna have a fireside on Sunday. We've been playing this game when we contact where we give eachother a word we have to use in the approach. Words we've used in lessons have included: chicken noodle soup, pirate, baboon, owl, bananas, and uniform. It's a challenge but it makes the work fun. Considering how much I hate finding, it's like the only thing that gets me to do it.<br />
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I ate bussu this week - I think that's what it's called. It's like, a snail, out of the river. Yeah. I think I've officially eaten everything Jamaican that isn't an animals foot.<br />
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I had a random dream that they made Back to the Future part 4, with James Franco as the new Marty McFly and it looked all Tron-like. I was furious.<br />
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I only have one more super weekly planning session. Thank goodness.<br />
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I have learned that a quote from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind applies to prayer: "constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating" ... Sincerity and real intent are the keys to prayer.<br />
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I have also learned that what makes you successful in life is knowing where you are, where you want to go, and then making the effort to get there.<br />
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I have also learned that baptism is a means of sanctifying our flesh, and the reception of the Holy Ghost is a means of sanctifying our Spirit.<br />
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I have also learned that there are some subtle ties and references to Book of Mormon prophets (Zenos/Zenock) in the Dead Sea Scrolls. Hm.<br />
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I have also learned that wants are not needs. Bro. Gray, a member here, literally lives in a tent. He lives in a tent, sleeps on a wooden table. If he can live like that, I certainly don't NEED an i-phone, you know what I'm saying? We went to see him this week - an amazingly humble man with a powerful testimony - and Sister Havili had a hard time. She broke down in tears ... definitely a humbling experience for her and for me as well.<br />
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I have also learned that I could not live anywhere where it rains consistently. It rained ALL DAY yesterday and I was miserable, all day.<br />
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I have also learned that at the times that I'm totally terrified to come home, I have to think of all the things I look forward to like: seeing my family. the nieces and nephews, and Dave of course, eating mexican food, watching Harry Potter, listening to music on Pandora, playing guitar and bass, hot water, air conditioning, going to the temple, doing member missionary work, watching my fave shows, and best of all? No more total creeper Jamaican men. Awesome.<br />
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Well, I think that's all for this week. I'll try to attach some pictures. All my love until next week!<br />
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Wahoo!<br />
Sister Payne<br />
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Ps<br />
I floured Sis Havili this week for her birthday. Awesome.<br />
And I found out Rhuel and Chris from Mandeville, two of my converts, were ordained to the Aaronic Priesthood :)<br />
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</span></div>Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-74101747783663393842011-09-11T13:42:00.000-07:002011-09-11T13:46:50.682-07:00Holy Moly- A bunch of letters from Sister P!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">**I have no clue why it is posting like this- so sorry about that.**</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Dearest Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
<br />
Who here wants to eat at the Cheesecake Factory - raise your hand!?! Just me? Bummer.<br />
<br />
This week's been good - as always, I shall try to compact seven days into twenty minutes. Apologies in advance for ramblings or nonsense.<br />
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I have a theory - that you can tell how the gospel has affected someone's life, or their feelings about the gospel, by what their favorite hymn is. I've been testing it out and so far so good. What's YOUR favorite hymn? For reasons that I cannot explain, we taught and talked about and sang about the iron rod many times this week. It just seemed to keep coming up - reaffirming for me at least the importance of daily prayer and scripture study. If we're not doing that consistently, our relationship with God is weakening, along with our testimonies. Our water which was off for five days came back on in what was simply a Christmas miracle. We've become much more conscious of how many times we flush the toilet, and how long we shower. Who knew water was such a precious resource? It really gave us a wake up call of gratitude for such a simple luxury. I've isolated my weakness in street contacting to a fear of rejection. This has helped me to focus on that in roleplays and in the power of my thoughts -- if I delete the fear of rejection, then I delete the fear of contacting and I'll be a more effective instrument in the Lord's hands. For God hath not given us the Spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind!<br />
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Speaking of fear, I have the story of the year for you guys. But I'm gonna save it until the end of my email. Alright what else -- we have a little neighbor girl who loved to jump rope with us... seriously she was knocking on our door any time we'd come home ... "can you skip?!" It got to the point where we're like AH! PERSISTENT LITTLE GIRL GO AWAY! (She'd be a great missionary) ... It's sad though, she moved to Kingston yesterday. And we were all weirdly sad about it. She was kinda the only person around us that ... cared. Haha, that sounds sad but its kinda true. It's almost like our friend moved away. You never know what you got til its gone. Speaking of caring, The Morrison family, our BFFs, had their house broken into for the 2nd time since we've been here -- totally ransacked the place. It broke our hearts. What do you even say to something like that? They're super strong though, so they can make it through anything. Pioneers always have to suffer trials. We had a less active we've been working with come back to church yesterday, so that was great -- and our recent convert that has been absent for five weeks came back too. It was a solid Sunday, made perfect with Chris, long-time investigator, telling us he wants to get baptized on Friday. We're gonna meet with him tomorrow to finalize everything, be sure he's living standards, and review the baptism interview with him. We've taught him mostly everything and he's been to church consistently for upwards of 5 months. We're excited - we might just have a baptism this Friday! How cool would that be?! I hope so. Chris is a great guy who deserves the blessings. Speaking of Chris, another Chris (aka Scion) who works at the internet cafe is a B-boy and we got to see him and his friends dance this week. This has yielded an obsession with dance in Sis Speakman - she spends every morning trying to learn his moves. It's quite hilarious. Jamaicans are just born with rhythm man. It's in their blood. Our zone leaders also gave us an inspired goal to track how many invitations we extend throughout the week to people to learn more about our message. It has really brought a new focus to the work.<br />
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We had a training on Kingston on Wednesday for Sis. Everette and I, since we'll be training in September. It was AWESOME. Not only did we get to go out to TGIFriday's for lunch (yeah, that's right, high life) but Pres. Hendricks and the Assistants gave us such solid instruction that it got me extremely excited to be able to train again - 1-on-1 this time - and my last transfer! The greatest lesson that I took away from that was what President taught about faith - he said that the world's view by and large about faith is that it is the power of positive thinking ... that if you believe enough it will yield great results. He pointed out that Abinadi's faith wasn't weaker than Ammon's - yet the former had zero success in his mortal mission while the latter had thousands of converts. Faith is not the power of positive thinking - faith is trust in God and Jesus Christ sufficient enough to yield righteousness - belief that is so strong that you are willing to do whatever They ask - THAT is faith. Knowing that, faith and obedience are interchangeable (try reading Ether 12 and putting in OBEDIENCE everywhere it says FAITH - you'll see what I mean) ... It puts into a new perspective what James means with he says that faith without works is dead ... read James 2:18. Faith yields works - if there are no works, then there is no faith. If you do not trust God enough to do what He asks, then you do not have faith in Him. It has completely revamped my outlook on faith, how to measure my faith, and the importance of obedience throughout my life. We can literally measure our level of conversion by our level of obedience. It's hard to articulate all my of thoughts - they run pretty deep and have a hard time reaching the surface. But the more I ponder on these principles the more understanding I get and the stronger my testimony grows. D&C 58:6.<br />
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Other good news? Each companionship with be getting a DVD player at zone conference on Friday to take to appointments to watch movies with investigators. Awesome right? Missionary work - 2011 - nothing like it. Other than that, I taught a ridiculous lesson on the apostasy yesterday for Sunday school. It was more like a history lesson (I mean I went into diocletian, nero, constantine, henry viii, you name it) and a visitor afterwards asks me: "are you a schoolteacher?" .. I say yeah. He says .. "yeah, you can tell". I don't know if that was a compliment, but I took it as one haha. I taught all about what it means when we say "the only true and living church on the face of the earth" -- coming from a talk by Dallin H Oaks ... basically saying that we're NOT the only church with truth out there - not even close. Every doctrine has a basis of truth in it - but we're the only church with a FULNESS of doctrine and the POWER of the priesthood, and consequently an accurate understanding and testimony of Jesus Christ, His mission, and His gospel. Check it out -- <a href="http://rsc.byu.edu/archived/selected-articles/millet-robert-l-joseph-smith-and-only-true-and-living-church" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">http://rsc.byu.edu/archived/<wbr></wbr>selected-articles/millet-<wbr></wbr>robert-l-joseph-smith-and-<wbr></wbr>only-true-and-living-church</a><br />
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Alright, are you ready for the story of the year? Here we go. So we go tracting Saturday morning and we're callin out at some gates. We go to one with three women on the porch - Sashelley and her baby, Sonya her mother, and Mother White -- a super old lady in a wheelchair that seems totally out of it. We say what church we're from - they say they're 7th day and they don't care to learn (funny, cause it was Saturday morning, and they were at home in their PJs so obviously they're not devout) and the old lady pipes in "THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST?!" Shouting at us ... we're like yeah ... then we're about to leave and Sis Speakman asks "have you ever heard of The Book of Mormon?" The old lady shouts "THE BOOK OF MOURNING?!" No.. the book of Mormon ... "MOURNING?!" -- "NO! MORMON!" .... "ohhhh, de mormons dem ...." She then starts mumbling something very low and deep under her breath... Sashelley's like... "what is she doing?" ... then it erupts into an extremely loud psychobabble ... "hamala shamala hookaba boobula doppie don lama shishama aysava oolamay .... IN THE NAME OF JESUS OF NAZARETH - WE COME AGAINST YOU!" She kept screaming it, over and over and over again. Sis Speakman manages to leave a pamphlet and we take off on the verge of cracking up. Although it was creepy and kinda reminded me of the part in the Bible where the man with the devils is like "we're legion because we are many" and she said "we" -- once I got over that initial freakiness, it was totally hilarious. Never before have I been cursed by a little old lady in a wheelchair in an unknown tongue. Now THAT was a good journal entry - made my mission man. Gotta love Jamaica.<br />
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Anyway, this e-mail is beastly long. I just wanna let you know I love you all. I do know that this church is true, this gospel I am preaching is true and it is the gateway to peace and happiness and eternal life. I know that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, and that He invites all men to come unto Him. I know that God called another prophet in our day so that we don't have to be carried about with every wind of doctrine. I know that The Book of Mormon contains those plain and precious truths that are essential to our salvation, and that together with the Bible they contain the fulness of the gospel. I know I was set apart by priesthood authority to perform this calling - and it is only through the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ I've been able to have any sort of success.<br />
<br />
Until next week!<br />
<br />
Sister Payne</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">****</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Greetings Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
<br />
What a week this week ... lots of emotion, lots to write. I'll try my best to fit it all in.<br />
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Sis. Loubelle Palmer, one of the stalwart pioneer members of the branch, passed away Tuesday night. She was at church the previous Sunday, giddy and happy and goofy as always. I guess she had been having a hard time breathing at nights, and must have just stopped breathing in her sleep. Her three grandsons still remain in the branch, one of them (Richard) is an RM and has really stepped up to rally his family. I've learned a lot from the truly heartbreaking loss -- one thing is that we had written down to call her on Tuesday to set up an appointment ... and we didn't. Talk about a wakeup call -- never leave anyone or anything on your to-do-list unchecked at the end of the day. Don't wait until tomorrow - because tomorrow is SERIOUSLY not promised to us. That song by Kris Allen "live like we're dying" has been in my head all week, along with the concept itself. I never got a picture with her, cause I had always counted on "next time" ... and now there is no next time. She's the most hilarious woman - I wish I could've bottled her love and energy. Things just aren't the same without her around. She was 66.<br />
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In good news to counteract that, Chris got baptized on Friday! Incase you don't remember, Chris was a kid we met while delivering a Book of Mormon to someone else. The girl that originally wanted one never took it but Chris did, read from it, and came to church one Sunday. We taught him up until April, but he was feeling rushed into baptism and I think he got offended and backed off from us. He still came to church every Sunday. Once he saw his good friend Rhuel get baptized, he felt the push to do it. So he approached us, we reviewed all we taught him, and the baptism went great. He's thinking about serving a mission - he's 22 - and already a great asset to the branch and to the Lord's kingdom. He's a great example to his family, and we couldn't be happier that he made the decision to make that covenant with Heavenly Father!<br />
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I've been thinking in patwa lately. It's strange.<br />
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We also had zone conference this week in Sav la Mar, with the area mental health and area medical advisers for the Caribbean here and speaking to us. It was really cool - something I wish I would have had at the beginning of my mission ... relating taking care of our bodies to the plan of salvation (AWESOME!) and also talking about how to understand and manage stress throughout your life. It was great.<br />
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We've also been attacked by giant cockroaches. Like 20 just this week, in our apartment. Sickness.<br />
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Mandeville rules. I really do love it here - the members are stars and we have access to pretty much all the comforts. It feels like home here. The work is though, but the blessings are there constantly. We're working on not havin' idle hands - staying busy and not allowing any negative influences into our companionship or into the work.<br />
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Wanna know how long we've been in Mandeville? We were here when Harry Potter 7 part 1 came out. Part 2 came out Friday, lol.<br />
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We had a great activity over the weekend playing signs and mafia - lots of members came and we had treats ... it was sweet. I've only got 3 months left ( thank GOODNESS I got extended, cause September seems like way too soon to come home ) so I'm tryin' to step up my game even moreso ... we're askin ourselves WWPHD? What would Pres. Hendricks do? If we wouldn't do an activity with him there, because its not productive, we're not doing it. It's challenging.<br />
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Now onto spiritual lessons learned this week --<br />
the first is Alma 38:12 -- I thought a lot about it, trying to figure out how bridling your passions allowed you to be filled with love - how does moderation relate to charity? I've got my own thoughts, but I would love to hear yours because I'm still having a hard time finding out what the Lord means in that verse. What I think, as simple as it may be, is that passions are selfish which limits you from being able to give of yourself to others in charity. But I feel like there's something more there...<br />
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The second is the importance of one member of your family, or one set of missionaries, or one righteous decision. It really hit me this week that because my mom joined the church, because some missionaries taught her, two of her kids served missions. Because of those two missionaries, who knows how many others are affected. Because my sister has kids, one of which at least will serve a mission, the influence continues -- and who knows with my future kids -- and the influence extending on and on down the line -- all because of a righteous decision my mom made, and those missionaries made to teach her, and my dad made to support her, and even further on before that... all because of a righteous decision Edward Payne made in the 1800s to check out a Mormon meeting and to join the church ... it's just awesome the level of influence one person can make in their family and in the world. I'm truly grateful for it, and I hope to leave a lasting influence on my family for generations to come.<br />
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Last but not least, I fully believe that the Lord gives us revelation according to our personality and strengths -- I've mentioned this before, but I really feel that because of my head being full of tv, movie, and literature knowledge the Lord uses the good in that to access me and help me see things the way He wants me to see them. The Lord's hand is in everything good ... how else could the Lord help me see the importance of finding new investigators by bringing to mind the treasure hunt in The Goonies? He knows me man, that's all I'm sayin. He knows me and He knows what will help me. It's awesome.<br />
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I'll end with this. When it starts to rain here, the first thing us drivers think is "uh oh - watch for the potholes" ... Sis Hosang spoke about this in church yesterday ... there are constantly GIANT potholes on the roads here, because the roads are made of a poor foundation. They break down so easily, and people come and fill them up and within a month they're just as big if not bigger than they were before. How important is it for us to have a strong secure foundation? You can try to fill up your spiritual holes with rocks and dirt, but when the storm hits all that will wash away and you'll be left in an even poorer state than you were before. We have to secure ourselves with the Lord - we have to be living worthy lives, with a strong foundation on Jesus Christ, in order to sustain the hurricanes. And during those storms, Satan will fill up your holes with water, giving you a false sense of security that the holes are gone until BAM - you hit one and it ruins your alignment completely - and you never even saw it coming.<br />
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I know that Jesus is the Christ. He is our Lord and Redeemer - He was prepared from before the foundation of the world to come and give His life a ransom for us - that by doing His will we may know of His doctrine, and be cleansed from all unrighteousness - that death is not the end and that we will all be resurrected as He was. I know that families can be together forever, through the sealing power of the Priesthood given to Peter and restored by his hands to Joseph Smith. I know that the only true peace and happiness we can have in this world of wickedness and vanity lies in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know it will all my heart, because I've felt the Spirit countless times witness to me that it is true. I've acted on those positive thoughts and feelings and seen the blessings. A bad tree cannot bring forth good fruit, and I have tasted NOTHING but good great amazing fruit as a result of following this gospel.<br />
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I love you all!<br />
<br />
xoxo<br />
Sister Payne<br />
*****</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Hey Family, Friends and Fans --<br />
<br />
I have NEWS for you!<br />
<br />
First off, we're getting transferred! Sister Smith is headed home on Thursday, Sis Wilkinson is headed to Junction to be with Sis Everette, and Sis Speakman and I are headed to ... PORT ANTONIO! Apparently it is a lush tropical paradise full of rain, beaches, greenery, and awesome people. It's really small, which makes me super happy - it makes my mission a sandwich of tiny area, huge area, huge area, tiny area. It's crazy how fast time is flying right now, seriously. I can't even put it into words. I also can't adequately describe how much I've changed. But I guess you'll see in a few months for yourself. All I can tell you is the person I was 16 months ago and the person I am now do not have the same profile. Anyway, excited for the long drive out to the edge of the island on Wednesday -- my final adventure!<br />
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What else this week - we watched the Book of Mormon movie, which is hilariously cheesy and ridiculous. We've been quoting it and laughing about it all week, but it totally helped a less active yo. It was Sis Wilkinson's 23rd birthday on Saturday so we made a DELICIOUS cake (that got attacked by ants the next day - so depressing... the other girls shook it off and ate it but I couldn't bring myself to do it -- too much bacteria anxiety there) and I floured her on her bed. It was good times. We also had a talent show this week where Rhuel, Sis Britton, Chris, and others showcased their singing and dancing abilities. We did my "dan jones it up" rap AND I claimed to be able to spell any word - they gave me chauffeur, kaleidoscope, tuberculosis, etc ... I was able to manage, but I cut it off before my luck ran out. I feel redeemed from coming in 2nd in the 4th grade spelling bee at Johnson Elementary. Sis. Bailey told us this week that she expects to hear all of us in Motab - I was like... that won't happen, but I was flattered all the same. I had dream that I got sent home early for being sick and then bawled like a baby everyday because I didn't get to stay until October. I guess that shows how much I love my mission, incase you didn't already know. A mission is just like life though - it is short, very very short - and the purpose is for it to be progressive, continually getting better and better so that when it ends, which it has to end, you're able to go home saying "I did my best, and I am who the Lord wants me to be" ... this is the best thing I've ever done. I've said that before, and I'll say it again.<br />
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We don't really have any progressing investigators, so I'll just skip to what I learned this week:<br />
1) my patriarchal blessing talks about overcoming the world .. I learned what it means to be overcome by the world this week (D&C 50:8) which then led me to learning what it means to overcome the world (D&C 64:2-3).<br />
2) we had a gong show lesson this week where the Spirit just straight up wasn't there and it bugged me all night ... so I studied about why that happened and what I could do to fix it ... I learned that the Spirit AND the word leads to not being confounded before men .. D&C 11:21 ... so I've really focused on studying for each lesson so I'm prepared and then spiritually preparing with prayer before going into the lesson... the next night we had a super spiritual lesson and it made me feel like I was doing something right again. Awesome.<br />
3) Idunno why I hadn't thought of this before, but Sis Wilkinson had a commitment calendar - where she rights down every night the commitments they extended that day and to who -- we haven't been doing that, so I started ... it works! Also I made prayer cards to show people HOW to pray properly ... simple elementary stuff that I just never thought about doing before and they've really helped in the work.<br />
4) Nothing works in the gospel unless we choose it. I could write a novel on this, but I will just say that from reading Moroni 10:32 and Moroni 7:28 I realized that WE have to CHOOSE to access the Atonement or it won't be operative in our lives. "deny yourselves" implies that it is up to us ... not "pray and I'll deny you of ungodliness" or "come to church and your leaders will deny you of ungodliness" ... its DENY YOURSELVES -- the best gift God has given us is our choice! Other scriptures that really stuck out to me during study were Helaman 14:30-31 ... Alma 41:7 ... D&C 101:28 ... Think of this way -- kids dream of being rich and famous or a star athlete or something - almost every kid - but they give up on that at some point. Why? Because its not totally up to you to get there - its more about who you know than what you know. You can labor all your days and get nowhere, because other people determine your success. So we choose careers that are dependent on us -- a career that if I personally work hard then I'm guaranteed success. That's security. Well, in eternity, we CAN have the riches and the fame and the glory - we can have the life that God has! And guess what? ITS COMPLETELY IN OUR HANDS! If we don't get there we only have ourselves to blame. If we do get there, it will be because we chose to get there. Christ's Atonement is already completed, we cannot ask Him to do any more than He already has done. It is now up to us. We are saved by grace after ALL we can do! Mormon 9:27-28.<br />
5) Pres Hendricks came to the branch yesterday and taught combined RS/EQ on the law of chastity - IT WAS AWESOME. He quotes D&C verses like he's memorized the entire thing. I was blown away. I can't even share everything that I learned. He said he wanted each person to leave that meeting saying to themselves "wild horses could not drag me over that fence - no circumstance - even the peril of my life - will ever cause me to consent to breaking the law of chastity" It was so awesome - he talked about how the spirit and the body makeup the soul, and a bunch of other stuff - but my favorite thing he talked about was an analogy with a GIANT tree with a tiny tiny trunk. He said when the wind blows, the tree falls in the mud ... so you pull the tree back up and hose it off to get it clean ... but when the wind blows again the tree falls again. He said this is like repentance --- too often people go through the repentance steps of acknowledge, confess, restitution, forsaking, etc etc without ACTUALLY changing. They are the hosed off tree with the skinny trunk, and when the Savior comes again He will say "that tree is too weak for the kingdom of God"... repentance steps are a means to an end - the real point is to change -- to convert the weak trunk into a large strong trunk so that the tree will never fall again. He said when we repent we need to ask ourselves "what kind of person would transgress God's commandment and blatantly disobey His will and treat sacred things as trash? Me. I'm that type of person ... what type of person would NEVER EVER EVER not under the peril of their life commit that sin again? that's the person I need to become. Now I need to get there ..." Awesome. I learned a WHOLE HEAP.<br />
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That's it this week!<br />
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Love you all! Until next time!<br />
<3<br />
Sister Payne</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">****</span></span><br />
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<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Wa'apn Family Friends and Fans --</span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Hello from Port Antonio - gorgeous ocean front property, humidity like whoa, more spiders in our apartment than I ever thought possible, cold showers, broken toilets, potholes GALORE, and AWESOME members and an AWESOME branch! Our first day here we had Sis. Blake call us to come out teaching with us and introduce us to members. Our second day here we had Bro Parker (who I call Spiderman) come out teaching with us, introducing us to investigators. And our third day he came out with us again, and so did Andre - a recent convert - trudging through the RAIN (jamaicans just don't do that) to go to an appointment. It's been awesome! They are better missionaries here than most full time missionaries, I swear. Spiderman carries a backpack everywhere with tracts and pass alongs and "Book of Mormon"s to give away, inviting everyone to church. In fact we've met a handful of people already that tell us "oh yeah I've visited that church. Parker invited me." SO COOL. We also have a member from Denmark, Bro. Kris, who has lived here for almost 50 years. Pres Rampasard and his family are all great - he seems like a wonderful leader, and the Forresters feed us every Sunday. I can't say enough about the members - they may be small but they are incredible.</span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I always wanted to serve in Lucea again, and I kinda got my wish. I think this area is like Lucea, just on the opposite end of the island and still open.</span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Yesterday was Emancipation Day which is why I didn't get to email home. They take their holidays very seriously here. We had a pioneer day activity at the church last night - some investigators were there - we got free food - it was good times. We also got to speak in Sacrament meeting on Sunday, on the sacrament. I spoke about the promises that we make when we take the sacrament. I think it went well. As I'm typing this I'm sweating buckets, down off my face, down my shirt, down the back of my neck, down my legs into my sandals. I feel drenched. Just to let you know.</span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It rains almost everyday here, which cools things down so I don't mind - but it will flood areas so we can't take our car there and this one area, Ranza, is basically a mud mountain so we can't go teach our investigator Chris over there when it rains. Our drive over here was long and arduous. I had the worst bout of hayfever I've ever had on transfer day. Elder Larsen gave me a blessing, which is I think the only reason I was even able to drive or function. I could barely breathe I was in so much pain - just from allergies! It was stupid, but after three days it went away completely. We have no light in most of our apartment, which makes night time interesting. The walls used to be white, but now are black. Other than that, it's not too bad of a place. Cobwebs everywhere. We make do. So Sis Smith went home - that was epic and strange for all of us. I'm working really hard to ensure that Sis Speakman's last transfer is her best transfer - and that when I get a trainee next time that her first transfer is her best transfer. I'm glad - it keeps me focused and on the straight and narrow. We're trying really hard to find Priesthood and families -- pretty much talkin' to every normal male we pass.</span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">We've been watching the Preach My Gospel and District DVDs - they are excellent resources in studies. Of course, I am the study champion and the application failure, but the more I watch them the better feel I get for how things are supposed to be and the better our finding, teaching, and planning get. For our first P Day here we went out to Boston Bay and got jerk - I got some jerk lobster. Wicked expensive, but delicious. Found out today that we're having a special zone conference at the end of this month because Fransisco J Vinas, the Caribbean Area president, is going to be here and tour the mission. That's always exciting - general authority time! I'm 5 pages away from finishing the Old Testament. Woot. I would send pictures but this computer I'm on is lame and won't let me.</span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Our district leader is Elder Kocherhans (what what, he's my bwoy!) and our zone leaders are Elder Tirado and Elder Johnson. We're in a great area. We have to go to Highgate every Wednesday for district meeting which is like 1.5-2 hours away. We're not excited about that at all.</span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Scripture of the week: D&C 42:78, 88-89</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">78And again, every person who belongeth to this church of Christ, shall observe to keep all the commandments and covenants of the church.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6307307063028601441&postID=7410174778366339384" name="1318b4d75f94bed7_88" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a>88And if thy <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/42?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=dc-testament&bookUri=dc&chapterUri=42&noteID=88a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">brother</a> or sister <sup>b</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/42?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=dc-testament&bookUri=dc&chapterUri=42&noteID=88b&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">offend</a> thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she <sup>c</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/42?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=dc-testament&bookUri=dc&chapterUri=42&noteID=88c&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">confess</a> thou shalt be <sup>d</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/42?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=dc-testament&bookUri=dc&chapterUri=42&noteID=88d&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">reconciled</a>.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6307307063028601441&postID=7410174778366339384" name="1318b4d75f94bed7_89" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a>89And if he or she confess not thou shalt deliver him or her up unto the church, not to the members, but to the elders. And it shall be done in a <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/42?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=dc-testament&bookUri=dc&chapterUri=42&noteID=89a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">meeting</a>, and that not before the world.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Alright, that's it for me! We're off to work hard. Keep me in your prayers, I DEFINETELY need and appreciate them!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Love you all,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Sister Payne</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">****</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span></span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Dear Family, Friends, and Fans --</span></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Not much to write this week (well of course there's tons to write about but not much IMPORTANT stuff to write about haha). A big lesson I've learned so far this week is something Alex Boye said ... he had gone to boarding school in England while his mom was in Nigeria. It was lonely and strict and he hated it, but he said the disciplined life he had to live there prepared him to later on accept the gospel in his life and be able to live its principles. He said that whatever trial you're going through right now, see yourself five years from now looking back ... picture all the lessons you will have learned from whatever you're going through and how much stronger you'll be for it if you endure. Amen to that... I have seen that time and time again on my mission. Just this morning in fact, a trial that I went through in Mandeville helped me gain insight and receive help during my study this morning. Cool!</span></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Alright - people first, since people are the most important. We met Nick, a member of the coast guard, and he is GOLDEN! He's awesome too - in 2 days he read 1/2 of 1 Nephi and could practically quote it back to us. He's 25, came to church yesterday in his military uniform and loved it - asked to take home a gospel principles manual ... He is GREAT. BUT he travels - he's only here until Thursday then he goes back to Port Royal in Kingston and his home is in Portmore. Dude, broken hearted. I really really hope this one doesn't slip through the cracks because we just don't meet guys like this very often. We hope he'll be a star referral and a star member soon. We're still teaching Chris but his mom won't give consent for baptism. He's 11 and she thinks he's too young. We're prayerfully planning a lesson to teach her about accountability and stuff (she's not a member) but it's gonna be really tricky. We don't wanna offend her in anyway or try to push her. So we're just gonna try to teach the doctrine and commit them to pray about it, all the while praying mightily about it ourselves. He lives in this place called Ranza that's near a spring where you get fresh spring water out of the mountain that you can drink. Its pretty awesome. We have Oliver, a 13 year old kid, whose way cool and at church every Sunday but we just can't ever catch it at home cause he's always on the street with friends or playing football. We visited Sis Dago, a less active, who was so loving and welcoming and humble. They're very poor and can't make it to church because they live pretty far away, yet even so she gave us a whole heap of ackee and a giant breadfruit. Awesome lady and sad and humbling situation. We taught a guy who was a former, who seriously sang stupid songs he had written throughout our entire lesson and then proceeded to ask us horribly graphic and disgusting questions about inappropriate things so we quickly got out of there appauled and offended and discouraged. Our goal is to get Priesthood and instead we're finding psychos. So it goes. We also had a humbling experience meeting this woman Valerie. She was so antagonistic toward us - very angry - said she doesn't believe in God or Jesus and that They only help people like us but They've forgotten about her. We tried and tried to talk to her, bearing our testimonies ... it was the longest street corner lesson I've ever had. She talked about all of her trials, the many many illnesses she has and how she's gonna be evicted from her apartment. It was quite sad and hard for us. We wanted to know the perfect thing to say. We just told her that God hadn't forgotten about her, and that He'd sent us to her to help her but she has to have enough faith to let us. She started to cry - we gave her a Book of Mormon, but we haven't been able to see her again. It's times like that where you just wish you could fix all their problems. Sigh.</span></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Everynight we chase a hard day's work with a tall glass of chocolate milk. It's delicious. Our district meeting in Highgate was all about revelation - very very good. 1 of 6 lessons on revelation to come - exciting. We had a day of tender mercies from the Lord, getting a free bag juice, getting a taxi bus with Spiderman on it and some Michael Jackson playing on it ... that was nice. I've eaten a whole heap of turkey neck lately which is strangely good. My appetite has increased, you wouldn't believe how much food I ate yesterday. It surprised even me. My stomach must be expanding. It was independence day here and there was a Vybz Kartel concert around the corner from our house that everyone and their mom went to - except us obviously. Fast Sunday was good, but fasting is hard here because we have to drink water to stay alive. Still been watching the preach my gospel DVDs which has lowered my self esteem a bit so I stopped lol. My #1 weakness in life I think is fear - so I've been working a lot on that.. overcoming it with the Lord's help. If I could, I'd be unstoppable.</span></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Scripture of the week is 1 Nephi 19:20 - I'm EXHAUSTED all the time ... all the time.</span></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Again, sorry for no pictures - the computers here stink.</span></span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">ONE LOVE.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Til next week,</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Sister Payne</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">****</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Wa'apn Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
<br />
It's Sister Payne once again - the *real* fusion of entertainment and enlightenment - also known on the streets of Jamaica as blondie and/or gangsta payne (seriously, I've been called these things) ... This week has been really good. To be honest, the closer I get to coming home the less desire I have to write a whole heap. But I'll try my best to still make this as uplifting and entertaining as possible.<br />
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We're still teaching Chris and his mom TonnaLee. She still won't give consent to baptize, but we officially have established a relationship of trust there. We've planned some really good doctrinal and spiritual lessons that we feel confident about and plan on teaching before we just quit extending the commitment. We hope for good things. We're still teaching Wendell, a strapping young chap who wants to be baptized and has the parental approval to do so, but is on the Portland under 13 football team and is always at games or practice. He's hard to catch and home and because he's 12 he doesn't have a phone. He came to church though, yet again, and brought his little brother this time. We're teaching Shevelle, who has a baptism date set for August 27th. The Elders were teaching her and she knows the church is true. She's just lacking in commitment to church. We're planning on meeting with her A LOT this week. Nick, the coast guard guy, was doing great! He got his answer to know that the Book of Mormon is true, I mean a hardcore answer that was "undeniable" he said. He shared with us his awesome experience being out at patrol on the sea and feeling an overwhelming feeling as he was pondering what he had read the night before. We were so excited, but then he left abruptly to Portmore. We sent his name as a referral ... and are just hoping for the best at this point. We're also teaching Bro. Francis, who was taught by missionaries a long time ago and used to be at church every Sunday and preparing for baptism. But he had family issues then, that he doesn't have now, and he's ready to be baptized he says. We're gonna set a baptism date for him this week.<br />
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Lots of potential in the work. We've even met some cool less actives, and we had 5 less actives at church yesterday! That's hardcore! We still have the crazy experiences of course. There's scary psycho rabid vampire dogs here. They attack eachother for no reason, all day, everyday. This week we had two of them circling us WWE style only to get in a violent fight. It freaked us out. I had a nightmare about it. I won't miss that howling squealing growling sound every night, that's for sure.<br />
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I'll tell you about some lessons I've learned this week. One is a goal I have: never make the same mistake twice ... learn my lesson the first time before I dig the hole even deeper. I've also learned, as of this morning, what fasting really does. It never made a lot of sense to me - go without food, feel hungry, and that do anything spiritually? On the surface it was very confusing. I know there's still some spiritual aspects to fasting that I don't quite understand, but I've felt the power of it numerous times on my mission - a very very real power that I can't deny. That being said, this morning taught me something new about fasting.<br />
<br />
When you fast, you are willingly giving up food. Your stomach grumbles. You may get a headache. It's uncomfortable. You're not doing that for no reason. Sometimes it's for someone else - a sickness, someone struggling in the gospel, etc - but many times its for yourself. You fast to overcome temptation, overcome a weakness, have something happen in your life like find a job or find someone to share the gospel with, or just for additional strength to accomplish something difficult. What fasting does is strengthens our own personal commitment to whatever we are fasting for. If you are fasting to be able to stop swearing, you're not going to be hungry and uncomfortable and continue to swear - the pain would be in vain. Instead you're going to go all out ensuring that you do all you can to help the Lord answer your prayer. I found this out as I've been fasting to be able to wake up on time in the morning. It's not like the alarm went off this morning and it was magically easy to get up because I fasted. Instead, I forced myself out of bed, onto the floor, holding open my eyes so that the Lord could help me as I helped myself. If you're fasting for people who suffer from a natural disaster, chances are you're going to be more compelled to donate your fast offering and even more to help relieve their suffering. Does that make sense? It's hard to exactly write what I mean, but I hope you can pick out of this nonsense the insight that I gained this morning.<br />
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Alright another lesson I learned is simply from a bracelet - Kashane, Sis Blake's son, made Sis Speakman and I bracelets. He's really good at it. Her's says virtue. He made that one first, and he asked what I wanted mine to say -- so I told him integrity. I've been thinking a lot about integrity as it has been on my wrist. I've decided if there is one attribute or quality that I want to have it is that - integrity. I was to be whole, complete, honest, and sincere in everything I do.<br />
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Last lesson I've been learning is about personal revelation. Something that everyone really struggles with is recognizing the influence of the Holy Spirit. This is crucial - we make the promise all day everyday "IF YOU READ THE BOOK OF MORMON SINCERELY, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU READ, AND PRAY EARNESTLY WITH A REAL DESIRE AND INTENT TO ACT ON YOUR ANSWER, THE HOLY GHOST WILL ANSWER YOUR PRAYER!" What makes the promise challenging is being able to recognize your answer ... "was that God? was that my answer? or was that just wishful thinking? was that Satan? or was that me?" We've been learning a lot about how to recognize and receive revelation and then how to coach others in doing the same thing. It is so important to know that answers come gradually. They come in our minds as questions turn into answers. They come in our hearts as we feel a peace that surpasses all understanding. Satan is tricky - he mimics revelation. He too can speak in a still small voice. So how can we know the difference?<br />
MORONI 7<br />
12 Wherefore, all things which are <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=12a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">good</a> cometh of God; and that which is <sup>b</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=12b&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">evil</a> cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to <sup>c</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=12c&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">sin</a>, and to do that which is evil continually.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6307307063028601441&postID=7410174778366339384" name="131cec39ee78f8ba_13" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a>13 But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=13a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">good</a> continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and <sup>b</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=13b&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">enticeth</a> to do <sup>c</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=13c&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">good</a>, and to love God, and to serve him, is<sup>d</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=13d&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">inspired</a> of God.<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6307307063028601441&postID=7410174778366339384" name="131cec39ee78f8ba_14" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a>14 Wherefore, take heed, my beloved brethren, that ye do not judge that which is <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=14a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">evil</a> to be of God, or that which is good and of God to be of the devil.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6307307063028601441&postID=7410174778366339384" name="131cec39ee78f8ba_15" style="color: #0000cc;"></a><br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6307307063028601441&postID=7410174778366339384" name="131cec39ee78f8ba_16" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a>16 For behold, the <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=16a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">Spirit</a> of Christ is given to every <sup>b</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=16b&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">man</a>, that he may <sup>c</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=16c&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">know</a> good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6307307063028601441&postID=7410174778366339384" name="131cec39ee78f8ba_17" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a>17 But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=17a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">evil</a>, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6307307063028601441&postID=7410174778366339384" name="131cec39ee78f8ba_18" style="color: #0000cc;"></a><br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6307307063028601441&postID=7410174778366339384" name="131cec39ee78f8ba_19" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a>19 Wherefore, I beseech of you, brethren, that ye should search diligently in the <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=19a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">light</a> of Christ that ye may know good from evil; and if ye will lay hold upon every good thing, and condemn it not, ye certainly will be a <sup>b</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=moro&chapterUri=7&noteID=19b&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">child</a> of Christ.<br />
Just look at the fruits of what you're being pointed to - a bad tree cannot bring forth good fruit and vis versa.<br />
Even Stevens is playing on the tv in this internet place. I can't escape Shia LeBeouf anywhere! AHHHH!<br />
Alright, that's it for me. Still no pictures - apologies. I guess you'll just have to wait til I get home to see how much weight I've gained ;)<br />
All the love in the Caribbean,<br />
Sister Payne</span></span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">****</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Hey Family Friends and Fans --<br />
<br />
Allow me to share with you what I will call THE MOMENTS OF THE WEEK:<br />
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nick, from the coast guard, had one day stationed back here. he's doing great - gonna look up the church in portmore and go this weekend. we were stoked to see him again!<br />
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we have a great spiritual lesson with this guy at a jelly stand ... right as we're about to bear testimony a crazy brown freckled rasta lady walks up to us and starts shouting stuff about Ethiopia - SCREAMING at us to go away and quit preaching about our white gods and let the chiney man have his chiney god and the black man have his black god and at the top of her lungs accusing<br />
us of brainwashing her people and we need to take our blankety blank blank mormon christian gods coming down out of the sky stuff back to where we came from ... needless to say it ruined the lesson and made us want to kick her in the teeth. bah.<br />
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sister spokesman and i start singing our own missionary version of "stayin alive" - afterward i explain to her how good the song "to love somebody" by the beegees is ... i sing her a snippet ... we turn a corner ... not five minutes later we hear a reggae version of "to love somebody" playing out of someone's backyard ... WHAT? of all the random stuff in the cosmos - of all the gin joints in all the world - seriously, it blew my mind. then the very next day, we're singing to a disabled member and her neighbors are jammin out to what else? to love somebody, by the beegees. tender mercies.<br />
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walking through the marina, sister speaksman gives this guy on his cell phone a pass along card, but he keeps walking and we don't really share anything with him. she gets super upset, stompin her feet - "i shoulda said something! i shoulda bore my testimony! he's not gonna call! nobody ever calls! that was his shot at the gospel and i blew it!" i'm like "calm down, maybe he'll call" ... 25 seconds later he calls, wants a Book of Mormon, tells us his dad used to read it when he was a kid and he always wanted to know what it was and that he's searching for the truth because lately he feels like the churches he was brought up in aren't where it's at. little miracles.<br />
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sister everette's mom sent me a package with lots of candy. i've been downing skittles all week!<br />
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it's all about perspective here. apparently port antonio is pretty close to getting their own chapel - they just need more Priesthood. well, we're out teaching with sister blake, an awesome member, and like they usually do a bunch of guys call out to us and wanna talk to us. we're fed up with that jazz i'll tell you what - we're just like "ugh, another man that we need to give a law of chastity pamphlet to" ... but sis. blake just sees potential Priesthood holders .. she was like "OH MAN! THIS IS SO AWESOME! I KNEW THEY SENT SISTERS HERE FOR A REASON!" so, we had a bit of a paradigm shift and we're trying to be more positive about street contacts.<br />
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To answer some questions I've received lately --<br />
<br />
Sister Speakman and I get along great. She's like a good mix of Rosemary M Wixom and Sister Smith. She goes home Sept 8th and I'll get a new Sister then to train. I'm a little nervous about that, but it'll be awesome and make time fly (as if it isn't already!) We had our first torrential downpour since we've been here. It was pretty hardcore. Apparently its gonna rain this week too due to a storm coming in - we're looking forward to it.<br />
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Zone conference is tomorrow with Elder Francisco J Vinas. It's a special conference, so we have to look our best and be on our best behavior. A couple missionaries will randomly be called on to give a talk on how the Atonement has affected our missionary service - so we all prepared talks and are shakin' in our boots. I'm exhausted all the time, so I guess that means we're working hard. My missionary debit card was apparently hacked by someone or something so I've been without access to money for like three weeks. It's hardcore - I'm almost out of cash. Frustrating. I should get a new one tomorrow. We got a new phone since ours was broken. What else? Oh Hebrew Israelites are everywhere in Portland. You should google that stuff - it's a bit crazy. I think crazy rasta lady that yelled at us was one of them. They walk around looking like a gang - they initiate you instead of baptize ... it's different that's for sure.<br />
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We don't have any real progressing investigators. People get baptism dates and then they don't show any progression toward actually being baptized. One of our star investigators told his girlfriend he was gonna be baptized. She lives in England - and she told him that she doesn't support him because our church hates black people. Sigh. So now he's struggling, we're struggling ... We'll see what happens this week. We've been really trying to find new people to teach, so we started daring eachother to talk to people. For some reason it puts this "now you HAVE to" spin on the work and makes it more fun. I'm still a ball of fear and anxiety and I hate it. But it's my lot in life - it's not a lot, but it's my life.<br />
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That's it I guess for me.<br />
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By the way,<br />
A testimony is a spiritual witness given by the <a href="http://lds.org/study/topics/holy-ghost?lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">Holy Ghost</a>. The foundation of a testimony is the knowledge that Heavenly Father lives and loves His children; that Jesus Christ lives, that He is the Son of God, and that He carried out the infinite Atonement; that <a href="http://lds.org/study/topics/joseph-smith?lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">Joseph Smith</a> is the prophet of God who was called to restore the gospel; that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Savior's true Church on the earth; and that the Church is led by a living prophet today. With this foundation, a testimony grows to include all principles of the gospel.<br />
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A testimony isn't a testimony unless it is confirmed by the witness of the Holy Ghost. Without that witness, it's just knowledge.<br />
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<a href="http://lds.org/pages/mormon-messages-gallery?lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">Mormon Messages</a><br />
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From Port Antonio, Portland Jamaica this is Sister Payne, signing off.<br />
Stay classy San Diego.<br />
<br />
Loves,<br />
Sister Payne</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span></span><br />
<div></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><div></div></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">****</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Whoaaaaaaa Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
<br />
I have had the mother of all weeks. The wicked step mother of all weeks to be exact. It has been insanity. Every crazy person in Port Antonio has come out this past week and made themselves known to us. It has been frustrating. I'll try my best to hurry and write about the week.<br />
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Alright - 1st off - yesterday we were given ZERO notice to speak in sacrament meeting. Seriously, as they announce "today we're gonna hear from our sisters" we find out that we're speaking. I literally had about 4 seconds to prepare a talk. I ended up talking about fixing ourselves spiritually so that we can go and rescue others. It was random. I was praying the entire time I was talking. It worked out though, I say some head nods. That was just the beginning of one of the most frustrating Sundays of my mission. Church in Jamaica is so stressful, and I remember thinking "man I can't wait to go home and have a spiritual Sunday again" ... but then I realized that this is home for these members - this is church EVERY week ... I've gotta do my best to help them see that's not how it's supposed to be... starting sacrament 15 minutes late and arguments breaking out every Sunday school class. I just don't know how to help!<br />
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Sister Speakman and I played a chess game that took us like 4 days to complete (we'd play on our meal breaks) ... ultimately, it turned into a bloodbath and I got the check-mate. Bishop+Rook+Queen=FTW! I still suck at waking up in the morning, but I'm still trying. So goes my life. I have scars all over my feet and legs from mosquito bites (I mean, all over) which makes me feel like a tough Caribbean warrior. Light corn syrup+peanut butter melted in a pot+corn pops stirred in and drizzled with chocolate syrup and put in the fridge to cool= heaven!<br />
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My studies have been awesome this week. I learned about how the Atonement was actually a covenant between Christ and God (hence Moroni 10:32-33), and I learned about the devil's playbook in D&C 10:25-33. I'm still studying and pondering more about being able to decipher revelation and recognize promptings ... the age-old question "is that God, Satan, or me?" is still on my mind ... I learned that you can be a member of the church but still not be considered in the church when Christ comes (D&C 10:53, 67) so basically baptism without enduring to the end is a broken contract ... I learned that, like Oliver Cowdery, if you're not prepared when the Lord comes knocking you can forfeit a golden opportunity ... I've learned a lot about that actually, and reflected on all the missed opportunities in my life... And I've also seen in the lives of the people around me here in this wonderful country, that parents expect children to just learn things on their own. They assume they'll figure it out eventually, which is true, but they figure it out from all the wrong sources. So many times parents are like "I'm not gonna teach my 12 year old about chastity cause they're only 12... they're not gonna get into trouble..." but then soon enough they're 16, trouble is knocking at their door and they haven't been properly taught so therefore don't have any solid foundation upon which to base their decisions ... Rosemary M Wixom said what we want our children to know 5 years from now needs to be part of our conversation with them today. So true.<br />
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“Every person is eventually backed up to the wall of faith, and there he must make his stand" - Ezra Taft Benson<br />
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Alright onto the crazy people this week - in a nutshell, we had a lady burn a Book of Mormon that we didn't even give her... we gave to someone else (same crazy lady from last week who cursed us for having a "white god?" yeah ...) burned his tracts too, and he let her. And I was spent. Then we encountered Hebrew Israelites (you should look these guys up... alba bibbins ... google that stuff it's trippy) who wanted to fight with us for hours to get us to believe that we're gonna either be killed or be enslaved because we're edomites and they're the israelites... they speak in hebrew to eachother and are all secretive and stuff like a cult ("we can't teach you this it goes against the brotherhood" type business) and yet found the need to attack Joseph Smith for the whole freemason thing ... pot or the kettle today brethren? It was a ridiculous encounter. Frustrating too. We're just walkin through the streets tryin' to talk to those who want to listen and want to learn - we don't trouble anybody - but they surely feel the need to trouble us. Respect our beliefs not at all. BAH! Of course they can prove anything they want out of the Bible, because they interpret it their own way. I realized Bible bashing is possible because the Bible contradicts itself so much - it isn't translated 100% correct therefore there's all sorts of interpretations out there (hence the need for ANOTHER testament of Christ to lay down false doctrine and contentions ... hmmm)<br />
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The crazy thing about it to me is - these people have no solid explanation for the Book of Mormon, the doctrine and covenants, pearl of great price!? I mean, some contend that Joseph Smith wrote them. To them I say .. you haven't read them. What 21 year old could do such a thing, if he was a scholar, let alone a farm boy? Others contend Satan is the author... to them I say, you haven't read it. Like Satan could author so much good in the world... please. Pride robs so many of faith. Go around The Book of Mormon if you must - say you don't know where it came from - but don't give such a weak explanation as those! BAH! I have to echo Elder Holland when he said: For 179 years this book has been examined and attacked, denied and deconstructed, targeted and torn apart like perhaps no other book in modern religious history—perhaps like no other book in <i>any</i> religious history. And still it stands. Failed theories about its origins have been born and parroted and have died—from Ethan Smith to Solomon Spaulding to deranged paranoid to cunning genius. None of these frankly pathetic answers for this book has ever withstood examination because <i>there is no other answer</i> than the one Joseph gave as its young unlearned translator. In this I stand with my own great-grandfather, who said simply enough, “No wicked man could write such a book as this; and no good man would write it, unless it were true and he were commanded of God to do so.”<br />
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Alright. End of my rant. It's been a really long week. The great stuff about this week was a conference with Elder Francisco J Vinas of the 70. He spoke to us about working with retention and less actives ONE BY ONE, and he spoke a lot about the Atonement and how it relates to our work. It was motivation, education, and spiritual. I had the privilege of sharing a short talk on how the Atonement has affected my missionary service. It was GREAT. Plus Ocho Rios is tight. We ate at a BUFFET called THE RUINS. I have awesome pictures, but again I can't send them to you because these computers are stinky.<br />
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Genius borders insanity, this much I know. I have a LOT of time left with my thoughts. Some of those thoughts turn into EUREKAS, and some just drive me crazy. Wish I could switch it off sometimes.<br />
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Well last but not least, I left home 17 months ago! How have you changed in 17 months?!<br />
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I love you all. Take care of yourself this week and I will too.<br />
<br />
<3<br />
Sister Payne</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">****</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Hey Family Friends and Fans --<br />
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one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see. John 9:25<br />
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Sorry if this e-mail is short. I'm running short on time.<br />
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I've got six weeks left in this ol' mission field here. That's crazy. Sis Speakman leaves Wednesday and the new Sisters arrive. I'm excited and anxious, per usual.<br />
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I've gotten more into music since I've been on my mission and away from it. I can't wait to dive back into it again.<br />
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We got transfer calls from Pres. Hendricks. It was funny, because it was obvious yet he still called. I have to do a 12 week training program in 6 weeks. So that's new. Part of that is going to allow us an extra hour of companion study at nights. So we'll have personal study from 8-9am, companion study from 9-10am, and then another hour at 8pm for additional companion study. That's neat.<br />
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1 Timothy 6:<a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6307307063028601441&postID=7410174778366339384" name="1323a808566a47b9_7" style="color: #0000cc;"> </a>7 For we brought <sup>a</sup><a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/nt/1-tim/6.7?lang=eng#" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=nt&bookUri=1-tim&chapterUri=6&noteID=7a&lang=eng" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">nothing</a> into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.<br />
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My missionary daily planner for the next transfer is so epic. We design planners (its a missionary thing) and my last one is a masterpiece. I'm takin' it home with me cause it's that epic.<br />
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Everyone knows us here, which is kinda cool and kinda frustrating. People talk to us, call out our names, and always pull the "you don't remember me?!" thing.. I'm like, we're the only two skinny white chicks in skirts walking around your neighborhood ... you're 1 of 50 old Jamaican men I talked to today ... forgive me for not distinguishing you specifically from among the crowd. Oy vey.<br />
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Speaking of old Jamaican men, on our way home from church today we saw an old homeless madman walking down a hill full frontally naked - pants around his ankles. DISTURBING at best. Only in Jamaica man ... our mission is silly sometimes. I told Sister Speakman that was her going away present. She laughed for like an hour.<br />
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That fits right in with the perception though that Jamaicans are overconfident ... they all act and think like they're Usain Bolt, even if they don't have a job or any teeth or any pants for that matter. All these guys that call out at us fully expect us to just swoon and take them back to the States with us. This week I had a guy ask me "do you have a husband?"... I said yes, because that makes the exchange easier... to which he said "do you need a Jamaican boyfriend?" .... gross. Also a guy told Sister Speakman.. "oh you're last name is Speakman? well it'll be Williams soon cause I'm gonna marry you..." OVERCONFIDENT. It's made me appreciate humble men much much more.<br />
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Investigator-wise... Travis, a younger brother of two members... currently preparing for baptism. Coolest kid. We're gonna set a date this week. Bro. Francis .. he kept his commitment to fast, but then all hades broke loose with his baby mama basically kidnapping his son and all this jazz. So he's really stressed out. Bah! It's been tough with him, but he's still hangin' in there.<br />
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2 Nephi 10:3-5 ... priestcrafts+iniquities ... jamaica ...<br />
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I really do feel like I'm serving amongst the Lamanites... only I'm not nearly as righteous and powerful as the Sons of Mosiah.<br />
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We got to do a missionary skit in the primary treat this week. Also have been eating a lot of pears, which are actually avocados. They're HUGE and delicious. We had a great district meeting about being superheroes and saving the world with the Book of Mormon, and I got to teach Sunday school yesterday and we had a great talk about not losing the spiritual high ground. Because we're divine, we're on the high ground naturally. It is only when we sin that we give up the ground and then it becomes that much easier for Satan to influence us. We had a good spiritual Sunday. I have definietely developed an abhorrence of sin. Jamaica just makes sin look so..... bad. Terrible. Wicked. Awful. If I was ever tempted to break the law of chastity or the word of wisdom after my mission, I can just reflect on the horrific affect those two things have had on this country and it'll keep me far far away from the edge. I don't wanna talk smack about this place. It really is heaven on earth, if only the sin was eliminated...<br />
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Looking for great Christian music? Lookup "Shane & Shane"!<br />
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Well, I think that's it for this week. Change is in the wind. Off to get some groceries - I'm gonna cook greenie a Jamaican dinner her first day here of ackee, curry chicken back, and rice&peas ... all with green food coloring :) Hopefully she likes it!<br />
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All the best and all my love,<br />
Sister Payne</span><br />
<div></div><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">****</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></div><div></div></span>Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-20766813149423163972011-07-05T12:55:00.001-07:002011-07-05T12:55:37.416-07:00BAZINGA! Family Friends and Fans --<br />
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Happy Birthday America! (And Happy Birthday Dustin, tomorrow! :) We have had an excellent week, despite our water being off for 3 days now and ringworm still eating away at our skin ... we can't complain!<br />
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We're always broke at the end of the month, so it was great to have a little payday and be able to get some delicious chinese food and restock our house - not to mention celebrate the 4th of July with a real American meal at Burger King, haha. The Elders are joining us for a BBQ at Sis. Heath's this afternoon which should be epic, if my digestive system can quit sucking ... I don't know if its from a year of eating too much curry or what, but everything I eat makes me sick. It's a bit frustrating. But boy, how we've been blessed this week.<br />
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RHUEL GOT BAPTIZED! WOOT WOOT! It's been 5+ years in the making with a whole heap of missionaries, but he finally took the step and decided to give his life to Christ, as they say. The members came out, supported him like crazy, and we got to watch The Other Side of Heaven for Friday Night Activity afterwards. It was completely epic in every sense of the word ... one of the best days of my whole mission. The Spirit was strong, as it was in testimony meeting yesterday as well. People are crying left and right, everyone wanted the meeting to just keep going. We had an investigator, Sharon, who we assumed was kinda less effective, randomly show up at church last week, apologize profusely for not making it the week before, and we taught her the restoration lastnight and it was AMAZING! Spiritual powerhouse after spiritual powerhouse. I love bearing testimony of the restoration, because I know its the truth that so many are seeking but don't know where to find it. I'm privileged to be a messenger of Christ's restored gospel. We've had some great lessons with members present, which has made all the difference in the world. In fact, Rhuel's main turning point was when we had the branch president and his first counselor come teaching with us ... they just brought the Spirit with their testimony and from Jamaican to Jamaican it really does make a difference. Chris, our former investigator, has been talking about getting baptized to all the members but he still wasn't talking to us ... apparently he wanted to "come as he is" and just get baptized, but he learned it doesn't work like that. In an inspired event from the Lord, we ran into him on the street and he talked to us just like old times. Hopefully we'll see him take that step before we leave here. We also met taught Codner, whose brother just died, and Errol, a humble older gentleman who just wants a church family to help support him so he can sort out his life before its too late. <br />
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Highlights of the week include Sis. Speakman calling a random number in our phone, assuming it was an investigator, and it turning out to be a member ...<br />
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Speakman: "I've been there every Sunday, where have you been?"<br />
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Biggs: "Where have YOU been?"<br />
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It was priceless. One of those "you had to be there" moments.<br />
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I've learned a lot, as always. I'm in Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament. I never thought I'd make it through 1 Kings! But I've gained some good insights about how God truly is the same yesterday, today and forever ...<br />
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check out 2 chron 26:18 -- totally talking about priesthood authority! and 2 chron 36:15-16 - totally describing the apostasy cycle! and 2 chron 32:31 is my favorite - talking about how the Lord isn't always going to lead us by the hand, sometimes He tests us and tries us just to see what we'll do -- i reread that one a few times... I read through Job this morning - there's some good stuff in the Old Testament, man! You just gotta get through all the geneology and random jazz to find it.<br />
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I got a chance to read out of a J-Dub bible this week - everytime in the Old Testament that it says Lord, theirs says Jehovah. A couple verses I looked up were totally changed - not even the same as in the King James Bible. I guess its easier to further your religion if you just change God's word to suit your own needs ... ridiculous. That is the one denomination, I would say, that has been the most antagonistic/prideful toward us missionaries ... strange, considering they're also the only ones that go door to door like us. You'd think they'd have some Christian fellowship understanding or something for proselyting and trying to get out your message ... but they don't. I digress.<br />
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I talked to a pentecostal guy that believes in "getting in the Spirit" and "speaking in tongues" and all that stuff. I busted out scriptures in the Bible about the laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost, and about tongues being other actual languages and that there always has to be an interpreter ... he straight up looked me square in the eyes and said "God made the Bible for all nations - those verses are what you take out of it, and that's good for you .. but they're not for me" ... .... ... I was dumbfounded. Moral relativism if I've ever heard it. I didn't even know what to say. Crazy.<br />
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Had a great experience though lastnight, doing roleplaying with the Morrisons for Tasamo's mission prep. Pres. Morrison pretended to be Hackman (lol) the angriest scariest door approach ever. And you know what? The Spirit was present! We shared a scripture, bore testimony, and he agreed to take a tract ;) It was a neat experience, to see how the Spirit really can work in any situation if we let it. <br />
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The love of God is the greatest love there is - it literally makes the world go round. I've pondered about love over the past week ... charity, real pure eternal love that never ends. I want more of it. I have felt greater love from God than from any other source, and that's because He is perfect. Consequently His love is perfect too. I'm beginning to understand for the first time how charity envieth not, seeketh not her own, is not puffed up ... etc. Any other source of love has flaws -- the love may not always be present or be felt ... it may fade over time or it may be motivated by unrighteous desires ... but REAL love, God's love, is deeper than that. It has no flaw. If we can find constant access to that kind of love, to the point where we're feeling it everyday, our love for those around us will grow exponentially along with our confidence, our righteous desires and choices, and our commitment to follow our Savior. <br />
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I know that this gospel is true. I know it with all my heart. Jesus Christ always pleaded with us -- "come unto me" ... we come unto Him by following His gospel. It is that simple. And of course, it's hard. It requires we humble ourselves, put aside selfishness, work through fears and anxieties, sacrifice comforts, and move forward with faith. Of course it's hard for us, because it was hard for Him. "The Son of Man hath descended below all things - art thou greater than He?" I love Jesus Christ. He is my Redeemer and He is yours. I know He loves you because I have felt His love for me.<br />
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All the best until next week,<br />
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Sister PayneAshleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-86091484998469271882011-07-05T12:54:00.000-07:002011-07-05T12:54:14.068-07:00Wa'gwaan Famly, mi Fren dem, an mi Fans --<br />
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Wa'appn? Mi gon try fi talk jus a one time in a da patois. Ya maybe nah gon unnastand wha mi say buh whe mi write inna hurry ya nah unnastand me same way. <br />
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Alright, I won't keep going. That would just take forever. I can understand 80% of patois now. It's nice. Here's the news of the week:<br />
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Transfer calls came in, and despite our deepest wishes to leave we're staying in Mandeville. That'll be a total of 9 months here, (if not more), and it was very discouraging to say the least. This has been our least successful area, and it has been hard to feel ... stuck here, for lack of a better word. But we're moving in in faith and hope and going to improve where we need to improve. Apparently there is more refining to be done and the Lord wants me here to make it happen. <br />
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We've had a crazy week. One lesson was with a guy who calls himself "singing eagle" and literally talked, nonstop, for a solid hour ... about many inappropriate things mind you. Thanks goodness we had a member present at that lesson. We also went to sing at the nursing home again, and as we were leaving the director who wasn't there the week before asked us what church we were from and then told us not to come back. Man, felt like Missouri or something. Ridiculous man robbing those old people of some lovely singing. We didn't even sing any song that was about the church or anything. Urgh.<br />
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We met a girl Nikki, a former from five years ago or more who had a baptism date, wanted to get baptized but then the Elders left and the next ones never really taught her. So our first lesson SHE brought up baptism - she goes to a church but they baptize by sprinkling and she knows immersion is how Christ was baptized so that's why she's never been baptized there ... she has been prepared to accept the truth. We're teaching her again this evening and extending a baptism date to her. We're excited. Rhuel has a baptism date for July 1st still and is progressing excellently... reading and praying everyday and committed to living the word of wisdom. He's excited, as is his whole family, and us missionaries of course.<br />
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We randomly ran into a less active we've been looking for for 7 months. I was drinking a BOOM (energy drink) and she stops me and says "hey! you're mormon! you're not supposed to be drinking caffeine!" I was like ... am I in the twilight zone? Did I get reassigned to the Salt Lake City South mission? She ended up telling us how she fell away because of a fall out with missionaries ... so we did some service for her and had a lesson and she agreed to let us come back. This lady was straight up hardcore ignoring and hiding from us for 7 months. Miracle. <br />
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We had an awesome activity - Mandeville vs Hopeton football match ... TONS of people came and no injuries occurred. Our most successful activity yet, so now we're looking to do more combined stuff like that and see what happens. We also spend a good deal of time taking pictures acting like we were characters from Street Fighter. Yeah, I was Vega. Duh. We're gonna go to KFC after this and get kids meals, so we can get Xmen first class watches. :)<br />
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Pretty much everything I've been reading or listening to lately has had to do with the family ... such statements as "the family is the most important unit of the Church" and "the church exists to help families achieve peace, happiness, and eternal life" not to mention "the temple is the most sacred place on earth, second only to the home" .... I've realized a lot the importance of family and it has given me a lot of motivation to be a better daughter and sister, not to mention a great wife and mother someday. Afterall, it's so crucial to God's plan!<br />
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Well, because Mandeville can be so discouraging, we nicknamed it Liberty Jail ... meaning Joseph Smith turned a hellish hole into a temple, complete with revelation and divine strength from on high ... that's what we're gonna try to do. Often times we feel like Paul on Mars Hill (Acts 17) preaching to people who don't even really know what they worship, but don't wanna listen to anything else. I've been working on having a paradigm shift -- which has started with not caring about numbers, but rather caring about people. I think the work has become too much like a job for me - clock in, clock out -- alright, I'm ready to put in applications somewhere else I'm not making enough money... it shouldn't be like that. So I'm striving to start over kinda, go back to basics... I'm also working on getting in shape. My comps are my personal trainers. We'll see what happens. <br />
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That's it for now. Jamaica rocks. I am blessed. No current crisis to worry about, which is always appreciated.<br />
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It's hot and getting hotter. In that respect, it's REALLY good to be in Mandeville.<br />
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Love you all!<br />
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Sister Payne <br />
**** <br />
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Hey Family, Friends, and Fans -- <br />
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It's been a pretty good week. On Saturday I ate two ice cream sandwiches. So of course it was a good week.<br />
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It's been eventful to say the least. One Elder that went home, Elder Ashton, our former zone leader, confessed his crush on Sister Wilkinson via letter his last day here. It's been hilarious to see the mission turn into a 7th grade science classroom all of the sudden with the whispers and the curiosity. Pure silliness. Poor Sis W has no idea what to do, it came out of left field haha. Other crazy stuff from this week includes Elder Hofmann, who came out from the MTC with me, is now my zone leader. I haven't seen him since 4.20.10. Nuts! Elder Hefner, a new Elder from Seattle is now in our district. He seems really genuine and cool. I completely overworked my calves and Sis. Wilkinson pulled a sports trainer and massaged them out which hurt like I don't even know what. They took four days to heal. Gotta love yesterday when we had a talk on reverence in sacrament meeting and someone's cell phone went off - haha. We're getting some t-shirts made (hopefully) that have the new orleans saints logo on them, but say latter day instead of new orleans. Awesome, right? Our investigator Andre is designing them for us. Rhuel is still on track for baptism July 1st and is doing very well. I exercised every day this week. That's the best I've done since the MTC. One of our investigator's dad died .... in January... and she just found out about it because apparently her brother's been lying about it for six months. Crazy, right? <br />
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A couple other funny stories... yesterday in Sacrament Meeting Christina, Demetri's (our recent convert) little sister, wasn't being reverent during the prayer. So afterwards I asked her WHY are you NEVER reverent during prayers?! And she goes .... "because you don't pay attention to me!" Funny how honest kids are man. Also, I would like to dispell the common myth that letters distract missionaries. I so often read "oh I'll let you get back to the Lord's work now! I've taken enough of your time with this one paragraph letter!" or "I just haven't written because I didn't want to distract you from your work" ... you know what IS distracting? NOT getting letters. I mean, we have one hour on the computer completely devoted to email. If you don't email me, then that's an hour wasted. We also have one whole day on Monday to do pretty much nothing. So without letters, I just sleep haha. Don't feel bad distracting me from sleep. Letters are good. The end.<br />
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We have a 16 year old member who's uncle and cousin tell her she's a shame to the family and a devil worshipper and a white-lover for coming to a white-man-church every Sunday when she gets ready to come. Yesterday she told us she was gonna stop coming because she couldn't handle the persecution. We had a good talk with her, but my heart went out to the poor girl. The members here really are pioneers. It seems like pioneers must always face persecution. We're gonna give her a copy of the book Our Heritage to help her see she's one of the elite. She agreed to push forward and keep comin' out to church. She's stalwart.<br />
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I've learned a lot of lessons this week -- to stand up for what's right, even if you stand alone ... to avoid the chokehold of addiction at all costs, and strive to help your loved ones avoid it too ... that Satan strives to take control of the body 1) because he doesn't have one and 2) because its earthy and he has dominion over the earth (hence lust, greed, the natural man, etc) ... but the Lord can take control of our Spirit because it is heavenly and eternal, so our spirit must be stronger than our body! .... also learning how humility, obedience, and faith enable us to lay claim on the divine assistance of grace ... and Rhuel taught me that if you keep the word of God to yourself, it will intoxicate you ... you must share it with others. How true that is.<br />
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We're having a great time, one day at a time. June is going by fast despite its faults and challenges. We have zone conference next month. Oh yeah, this Thursday our ZLs got it approved for us to do tradeoffs with the Sisters ... which means Sis Smith will be coming here for a day and I'll be going to Junction to be with Sis Everette. Tight, right? I'm stoked. I love the work I'm engaged in. I'm still loving every personal study. I'm loving working hard and going to bed tired. I'm loving being a total goofball with my companions --- we made a hula music video the other night. <br />
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Take care the coming week. May the restored gospel of Jesus Christ be as much of a blessing to you as it is to me. May the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ enter your heart and begin to swell. I love you all (especially my family - miss you, love you! you're the best!) Hugs and high fives!<br />
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All the best,<br />
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Sister Payne <br />
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Hey Family, Friends, and Fans -- <br />
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A lot to write about this week I hope I can fit it all in.<br />
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First off, Rhuel is on track hardcore for baptism this Friday. His interview will be Wednesday, and I know he'll pass. He's doing great and to see his progress has been incredible. Meanwhile, RC - Odain gave a talk on Sunday. He can't read very well at all, and instead of declining when he was asked, he instead chose to memorize his talk! How great is that? What an example he is to me of dedication to doing what the Lord wants him to do. In his words, his talk was "short and spicy". It was great.<br />
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I've noticed some things this week. The first was while around a bunch of tourists - I noticed that I'm uncomfortable around a lot of whiteys. Seriously. It makes me feel extremely awkward, like I don't know how to relate to them. My companions expressed the same sentiment. Almost everytime we see a white person we're thinking "please, don't talk to us" ... Can't quit explain it. Even being around all the missionaries can be weird sometimes. It's cool being the girl missionaries here (that's what they call us) ... girls at different branches request to see us if we're ever in their area, just so they can meet us - since we're the first white ones here I guess. It's been a cool opportunity to be a good example for these young girls. Everytime I meet one, I talk with them about serving a mission one day. <br />
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The heat is killer and so is the cold. The weather is straight up bi-polar these days. It has been so windy I've had to wear my extra long skirts just so I don't flash my covenants to anyone while we're tracting. That's a funny mission anecdote I'll look back on and chuckle at. Another anecdote - missionaries all over the world deal with this I'm sure .... you start talking to your companion, carrying on a conversation from the other room, then you ask them a question and get no response - only to go find them and find them kneeling in prayer to which you respond "AH! MY BAD!" and then they have to fight a chuckle during their prayer. It has happened too many times to count.<br />
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We met a great new couple, Taniesha and Shane. They're engaged, both go to different churches, but seem really interested in the message and very welcoming and smart. We can't wait to teach them again. I've been blessed with many experiences with sincere prayer this week. I've seen such a different in my prayer since I came on a mission. There's no longer fluff - just open, honest conversation with Heavenly Father. It has made all the difference for me and I've felt no greater peace, comfort, or love than while on my knees. I've been able to teach people about it better since I have first hand experience with it. It's been a huge blessing. I've also been blessed by reading The Book of Mormon. The talk by Jeffrey R Holland - Safety for the Soul ...<br />
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http://lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/safety-for-the-soul?lang=eng&query=safety+soul<br />
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watch that and/or read it if you get the chance this week ... you will get the chance if you make the chance, so no excuses ;) Everything I teach all day every day hinges on the divinity of The Book of Mormon. That's why it is so important - that's why it is so controversial - that's why it is so powerful ... because you make or break my faith with The Book of Mormon. I'm grateful for such a concise means on obtaining a witness of its truthfulness - read and pray!<br />
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I have successfully managed (for now) to convert discouragement into commitment. I've learned that being good isn't good enough - that we're destined to be great, so we can't ever settle. I was settling, but I've picked myself back up, dusted off my man shoes, thrown on my best jumper and gotten back out into the work!<br />
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I went on a tradeoff this week with Sis. Everette. There's too much there for even write about. Let's just say that I was able to bear pure testimony and call someone to repentance, one of the only times on my mission, where the Spirit was so strong it left one that would stop talking totally silent. I felt like Ammon or something. I also got to answer some deep deep questions from a truth seeker and he actually took the answers and applied them. That was cool to see. A trade off was cool because its not my area, so I'll never see the fruit from my labors really that one day, so it was probably the most selfless service I've done my whole mission.<br />
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Last but not least, there's been a ringworm outbreak. All three of us have it and we're headed to the doctor today. Where we got it, I don't know. It's pretty gross to like ... live with a fungus. But whatever. I just chalk it up to experience.<br />
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I know this gospel is true. I know it's true because it has changed my nature, changed my heart, changed my life - and nothing has the power to do that except for truth sent from God. I am privileged to be a witness of the Lord Jesus Christ. I am blessed to spend this time in His service, and more than blessed to be able to go through such difficulties that have shaped me into a better person. My prayers are full of your names and I am grateful for every prayer said on my behalf.<br />
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I love you!<br />
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<3<br />
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Sister PayneAshleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-70541229119868461622011-06-08T14:00:00.000-07:002011-06-08T14:19:49.716-07:00When It Rains, It Pours<strong>**Have you sent Sister Payne a letter lately? I vote that you should. Her address is on the sidebar. It would definitely brighten her day! Thanks for reading! - Ashlee**</strong><br />
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Hey Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Sorry if this has a morose tone. I may have very well (in fact its looking like I have) lost all of my pictures from my entire mission. Three cheers for me. I'm an idiot, and I'm suffering the depressing consequences.<br />
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On a less miserable note, I shall try to muster up enough positivity to write you a decent e-mail. So let's start with the best news:<br />
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We have made a real difference in Young Women's here. There wasn't even a program when we got here. Now they meet every Sunday, and every girl in the class said they're preparing to serve a mission. Dope.<br />
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We were able to help Pres. Morrison build his house this last week. It was fun, difficult, and rewarding.<br />
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The miracle of the week was that Kristopher, whose mother has previously been the devil's advocate, was able to sit in on our lesson Monday night and he proceeded to ask a bunch of questions out of some anti-mormon book his mom had given him ... after all of our responses he simply said "I don't believe any of this. Anytime there is something good, you always find people who try to tear it down ..." and put the book away. Cool kid.<br />
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Our recent convert Odain is in love with another recent convert Ann. He told her yesterday he's been praying about her to see if she should be his wife (they're not dating) and then she came to church yesterday and sat behind him so he's taken it to be his answer. She didn't look at him like that, but now she is. She told us that if the Lord sees fit that she should be with Odain, who is she to argue? It makes me giggle. She's like six foot, he's shorter than me. She's like 31, and he's 24. But hey, love is love I s'pose. They're gonna start "talking" and see what comes of it. She loves that he's really into the scriptures, a priesthood holder and shares her same beliefs. Considering her last boyfriend was a total toolbag who tried to get her to break the law of chastity every five seconds, I say its a good switch. <br />
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Demetri bore his testimony in church yesterday about how the book of mormon has blessed his life. Well that's just adorable. He also rattled off the entire plan of salvation doctrine, from pre earth life to the kingdoms of glory in the correct order during a lesson last week. He's a genius and will be an excellent missionary in 8 1/2 years.<br />
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During Relief Society "land down under" by men at work starting blaring outside loud as if it were playing through the microphone on the podium in the chapel. Gotta love church in Jamaica. That just wouldn't happen back home.<br />
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Pres. Clarke gave a great talk that was a good reminder for me to not ever rationalize sin. God never "understands" a sin or pardons a sin - a sin is a sin and needs proper repentance, no ifs ands of buts about it.<br />
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Sis Wilkinson calls me "payne-a-rain" .... Not sure where that came from but there it is.<br />
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I'm overwhelmed with love for this place and these people. Jamaicans give God credit for everything good that happens to them, and give Satan credit for everything bad that happens to them. The first is good, the latter isn't so good. Still I admire their faith and diligence in "staying in the word" as they say and striving to see the work of God in their everyday life. If they get a taxi right before it starts raining, its not luck - its divine intervention.<br />
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The Golgar family has struggled with being offended a lot at church. What was great this last week was to see them get offended last Sunday hardcore by something offcolour a member said, and then still come to church this week. They explained how even though they were mad at that person who was a leader in the branch, they wouldn't let him rob them of the experience of going to church and receiving the blessings from worshipping God and Jesus Christ on the Sabbath. It was admirable, and they've really come a long way. It's been a blessing to see it.<br />
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I have seen many blessings from my service now. I know I have yet to see many in the future ... even greater blessings await me. <br />
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I've been blessed to be able to take the sacrament every Sunday ... when worthily taken it has a sanctifying affect - maybe after a lifetime of taking it I'll actually be the person God wants me to be.<br />
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I had a revelation about effective studies, that has helped me lately to improve my personal and companion study. It's all about the people - what they need me to study instead of what I want to study. Nothing I do matters until I lose myself in the service of others. It's a difficult thing to lay aside all personal desires and affairs, but it is what the Lord expects of me while I am consecrated to His service.<br />
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Last but not least, after reading Pres. Uchtorf's talk from conference in the Priesthood session, I thought a lot about "going through the motions" ... some of us are so good at being Mormon but not so good at being Christian - as in we do what is expected of us, but our heart isn't in it. We perform our duties in the gospel as if its just a job that we have to do and complete, yet there is not completing loving others. We can't ever check off "serving my fellow man ... done" or "proclaiming the gospel.... check" ... if we really look at our divine commission as children of God and members of His kingdom, we'll see that until we love what we do we're not really doing it at all.<br />
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That's all I've got this week. Here's hoping I find my pictures.<br />
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Here's a couple in the meantime, in case they get lost too.<br />
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<3<br />
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Sister Payne <br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Wa'ta'gwaan Family, Friends, and Fans --</div><br />
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You good? Everything cool? We have had a tropical depression here in Jamaica - nonstop rain all week. Never before in my life have I seen it rain from the minute I wake up til the minute I go to bed without stopping. It's amazing. If this is any indication we're going to have a very moist hurricane season. It has made finding a bit difficult, since no one is outside and no one wants to talk, but it has cooled the weather down a lot - which made for a GREAT day today!<br />
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We had a zone P-day at treasure beach in st. elizabeth ... we found an abandoned football field and had a hardcore game. It was like Spain vs Brazil out there. I scored four goals (that's what's up) thanks to some great assists from Sis. Wilkinson, and our team ended up winning 10 to 6. Somehow a mud fight broke out. I don't know how that happened, but it got a little out of hand. We ended up having pizza at Jack Sprat and heading home. We were lucky to get a taxi since no one wanted to let us in because of our dirtiness. As we were walking to the taxi park in Junction a guy asked me what was all over my face so I gave him the "rock on" sign with my hands, which means nothing here, and he apparently misinterpreted it for horns and starting shouting "DEVIL! DEVIL!" at the top of his lungs until we got in the taxi. Never a dull day. This was probably the most fun P-Day I've had on my mission - it's up there at least.<br />
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Still no memory stick. And my watch broke. I found it ironic that I lost my pictures and my watch broke - almost as if the Lord was like ... quit counting the seconds, and make 'em count! I still have a lot of pictures that I sent home and that my companions have on their cameras - and the memories, which are the most important, as Dustin pointed out - so I took a deep breath and moved on. No use letting that ruin any of my mission. Matthew 6:19-21.<br />
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We had a zone meeting on Wednesday at the church in Santa Cruz. It was a great meeting focused on finding new investigators, extending baptism dates, and having excitement for the work/enduring to the end. Church yesterday was silly - because it was pouring rain and most members taxi/walk we had only 20 people there - two families basically. That meant everyone got to bear their testimony, haha. It turned out to be really uplifting and a good time was had by all. I've had zero budgeting skills this month. Ever since Sister Everette, who found a way to talk us into buying a candy bar or a milkshake every five seconds, we've had a hard time not buying treats or shenanigans. So we're having to slow down a bit and make our leftovers count.<br />
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On a mission, I appreciate that you have to live a higher law. It occurred to me that if I can live the Spirit and the letter of the missionary law, it will make me that much stronger when I return and that much easier to live the not-as-high law. I should say, the Spirit of the law remains the same when I get home - its only the letter that changes. I'm grateful for the good examples around me that make obedience a priority, and for a loving mission president that teaches us correct principles and lets us govern ourselves.<br />
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We met some cool people this week - CJ who lives in Trelawny and is GOLDEN AND A HALF but lives so far away. I mean, he devoured the restoration pamphlet and The Book of Mormon, understood it, loved it and wanted to meet with us A.S.A.P. He lives 40 minutes away from the church and it's impossible for him to get a taxi on Sundays. So we're still trying to work with him during the week, but just hoping that it is a good seed planted for future harvesting. We also met a former investigator Nikki, who loves the church and loved meeting with the missionaries. She had a baptism date six years ago, but stopped meeting with the Elders because 1) her grandparents wouldn't let her (she was only 16 then) and 2) the missionaries left and the next set didn't find her. We have high hopes for her. Rhuel, of the Golgar family, set his own baptism date for July 1st. Missionaries have been working with him for YEARS, but I feel he's closest now and we expect great things from him. We sang hymns at a nursing home last week. That was so fun - those people were so cute... a lot of them could barely talk but they still managed to say "thank you". :)<br />
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I've learned some good stuff this week ...<br />
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A. D&C 46:18 -- the gift of knowledge comes with a responsibility to teach ... that is my responsibility in life and wherever life takes me I've gotta teach!<br />
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B. We watched a short movie called "Treasure in Heaven: The John Tanner Story" -- that was legit! It really helped me to see that no sacrifice is too great for the Lord ... He makes up every loss, and then some. "Consecration is the only surrender that is also a victory" - Neal A. Maxwell.<br />
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http://lds.org/ensign/1979/03/the-john-tanner-family?lang=eng&query=john+tanner<br />
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C. "When you drink the water - don't forget the well from whence it sprung"<br />
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D. If we are in a war - which we are - between good and evil, we must study the opposing side's strategies, their playbook if you will. This doesn't mean doing bad things or going bad places, but rather learning how temptation comes, how to avoid the trap of sin, and how to recognize the influence of the Holy Ghost vs the influence of any other source ... <br />
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Mormon 7:<br />
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11For behold, a bitter afountain cannot bring forth good water; neither can a good fountain bring forth bitter water; wherefore, a man being a servant of the devil cannot follow Christ; and if he bfollow Christ he cannot be a cservant of the devil.<br />
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12Wherefore, all things which are agood cometh of God; and that which is bevil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to csin, and to do that which is evil continually.<br />
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13But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do agood continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and benticeth to do cgood, and to love God, and to serve him, is dinspired of God.<br />
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14Wherefore, take heed, my beloved brethren, that ye do not judge that which is aevil to be of God, or that which is good and of God to be of the devil.<br />
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E. God is the same, yesterday, today and forever!<br />
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the 12 tribes of israel - genesis 49:28 ... num 7:2<br />
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the seventy - num 11:16-17<br />
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the 12 apostles - matthew 10:1-5<br />
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the seventy - luke 10:1, 17<br />
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the 12 - d&c 18:26-29<br />
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the 70 - d&c 70:25-26<br />
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Last but not least, the greatest thing I learned this week is that nothing matters but LOVE - our love for God and our love for our fellowmen. Without that, nothing else matters. With that, EVERYTHING matters.<br />
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I'm grateful to be engaged in this work - to have made such great friends, learned such great lessons, been through trial after trial after trial to have been brought that much closer to Jesus Christ. I'm grateful for the prophetic counsel we have in our day that helps us stay on the straight and narrow path in a world that is so confusing. I'm grateful for the truth, for God is not the author of confusion, and has not made multiple truths but one, so that we can have peace of mind in this life and eternal life in the life to come. I'm grateful for The Book of Mormon that makes plain so many doctrines that have been confused throughout time. I'm grateful for the church, with all of its many imperfect members, that is there as a place of refuge for a sinner like me. I'm grateful to be in Jamaica, this beautiful country, to make my small difference in the lives of these people.<br />
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I love you all. Until next week,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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</div>Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-76238294950651145032011-05-23T21:30:00.000-07:002011-05-23T21:30:03.571-07:00All The Love From Jamrock-Wa'ta'gwaan Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Sister Payne here, celebrating a Jamaican holiday by e-mailing all of you. We lucked out and found an open shop to do so. It is insanely hot here (not as hot as Arizona I know - but waaaay more humid) and it's getting hotter by the day. That's okay and all, except when we're doing service projects outside or tracting up giant hills. But, like a guy on the street said the other day with sweat dripping down his forehead ... "I'm okay. If I wanna get to the Father, I've gotta go through the sun!"<br />
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We had a great fireside about the Book of Mormon yesterday - lots of members came out and some members dressed up like BOM characters and read their last words. It was good, and made me more excited to read the BOM so I hope it made the members more excited too. Sheryell and Sharon, two investigators, came to church yesterday for the first time. I got to teach gospel principles, and was grateful to be truly led by the Spirit to teach them what they needed to hear to gain revelation through church attendance. I taught about charity and pride - how they are opposites, and the branches that they produce and how we can focus on the root... etc. It made sense, trust me. We taught Sheryell and her fiance about the plan of salvation earlier this week, and it was so cool to see them light up when they saw that there was a bigger picture than what they'd been taught their whole life. They love the teachings, and we love teaching them. We hope to see them really start to progress. <br />
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We have a cool new investigator that lives really far away, but is also really excited to learn about the restored gospel. We had family home evening with a recent convert and we read about Ammon defending King Lamoni's sheep and then did a reenactment with her and all her kids. It was ridiculously fun to crawl around on the ground with two year old Luke and baa like sheep. It has been miraculous to see Sis. Wilkinson get a hardcore cold that knocked her down for a whole week, and yet she still gets out and does the work. Equally miraculous is the fact that I haven't gotten sick, and previous to my mission I have had an immune system infamous for its weakness and inability to resist illness. <br />
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It is mango season, which means we get free mangos almost every week. DELICIOUS! Best mangos in the world. We got to have lunch with Sis. Everette and Sis. Smith, so that was cool. Sis. Smith goes home at the end of July, so I may not even see her again before she goes back to Utah - if we get transferred anyway. I'm starting to believe we'll never get transferred and might just die in Mandeville. Who knows. It's not like I'm not used to it here or anything. The only other possible places we could go are Portmore or Linstead. We'll see. <br />
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I love reading, and I love books. I didn't get any mail last week and both my companions did. But we did get the conference Liahona which meant that I got first dibs on it. I just finished it this morning. I love general conference. If I stay til October I'll have another conference on the mission. Can't get cooler than that! Speaking of books, Sis. Andersen gave me a bunch of books when she left. We said goodbye to the Andersens yesterday - it was depressing. We all were teary-eyed as they bore their testimony at church yesterday. They've been so great to us. I love them and I can't wait to see them after the mission!<br />
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We had a lesson with a guy we've been teaching awhile, Marlon. He had previously told us he quit smoking, then that he only smoked a little, then told us that he smokes three times a day. We hit him with Joseph Smith. He said he didn't believe that ganja was an issue between God and man, only man and man. I asked him if Joseph Smith was a prophet. He said yes. I asked him if he knew by the Spirit that the Book of Mormon was the word of God. He said yes. So we explained that that's his only issue - that if Joseph Smith's a prophet then the word of wisdom is from God and he has to quit smoking. He said he would, and that he never saw it like that. It was a cool lesson. If he stops smoking by the time I leave Mandeville, I'll be the one that's high as a kite ;)<br />
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The whole judgement day thing was hilarious. FALSE PROPHETS! RAVENOUS WOLVES IN SHEEPS CLOTHING! Fulfillment of prophecy. Ya know, by their fruits ye shall know them. Whoever continues to follow that idiocy is just asking to be fooled. I loved being able to contact this last week. Everyone asked us "ya think God a come Satdey?" To which we could respond "no - the Bible says not even the angels in Heaven know - yet you have false prophets everywhere and by their fruits you can know if they are real prophets or not. God did call a prophet in our day - his name is Joseph Smith - and the fruit of his prophetic calling is The Book of Mormon" --- we had better lessons this week than most weeks of my mission.<br />
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This week I learned that a testimony without a spiritual witness is like a car rolling down a hill without an engine (Tasamo Morrison, the kid we teach mission prep, taught me this) .. if you only know the church is true based on logic or what others tell you and you haven't read and prayed about the Book of Mormon, then you are merely a car without an engine rolling down a hill. To the naked eye it looks like the car is running, but there's nothing underneath the hood so it won't last. <br />
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I also learned, again, to be grateful for being able to remember my past mistakes. Even though sometimes it can be very painful and we can just plead with the Lord to be able to forget it completely, when we repent the anguish is gone and we have peace in our soul and freedom from guilt. The Lord lets us remember the sins so that we will always remember and appreciate His atonement, we won't repeat the sin, we'll be able to empathize with others in similar situations, and we can mark of progression and see how far we've come. How grateful I am for a God and a Savior that are over all, and see the end from the beginning.<br />
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That's all I've got this week. I'll send pictures next week of the fireside and stuff.<br />
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All the love from Jamrock,<br />
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Sister PayneAshleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-46828597108995249262011-05-22T15:20:00.000-07:002011-05-22T15:20:00.322-07:00Greetings from Sister Payne!Hallelujah Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Less than one week until General Conference! Can you FEEL the excitement in the air? I'm like a little kid on Christmas Eve! Would you like to ensure that your general conference experience is a good one? Then try these simple steps:<br />
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1) If you're watching at home, get up, bathe, and dress nice. You're listening to a prophet of God after all.<br />
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2) If you're watching at church, sit at the front so you can see and hear clearly.<br />
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3) No matter where you're watching, come up with at least three questions you want answered... they can be doctrinal, personal, whatever. Write them down and pray to have your questions answered during conference ... then pay attention!<br />
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4) Take notes. Don't write down everything you hear - that'll be in the Ensign in a month. Write down impressions from the Spirit and things you want to be sure to remember.<br />
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5) Last but not least, STAY AWAKE. Whatever you do, DO NOT FALL ASLEEP. Get up, do some jumping jacks, eat a sno cone if you have to. Don't fall for the "I'm recording it and I'll watch it later" excuse, because you and I BOTH know you never end up watching the whole thing, and reading them is just NOT the same experience.<br />
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Whew. Now that I've got that outta my system here's the news for the week:<br />
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We've got 3 investigators with a date... Courtney for 4/8 and Odain&Demetri for 4/9. Workin' hard to ensure they go through, and we need to drastically build our teaching pool so we're working on contacting and finding a lot this week. That hasn't been hard because we went over on our mileage so we've been walking all day everyday. Not only am I more tan, but also less skiddish about talking to people! We've had some great lessons this last week like reading 3 Nephi 11 with our investigator Marlon ... the Spirit was so strong and testified to everyone there the reality of the Savior's ministry to the Nephites. Sis. Everette says very long prayers, and during a lesson this week Bro. Morrison, at the end chose her to pray and said "Alright Sis. Everette, give us one of those loooonnnggg prayers ..." It was hilarious. You had to be there. She's doing very well - soaking up the mission - struggling with her boyfriend issues, but if anyone is qualified to help her in that area its Sister Wilkinson and I. <br />
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We went to Spanish Town for transfers, not because we got transferred but because they needed to switch us cars for a while. So we got to say goodbye to Elder Rebeiro and Packard who went home (Elder Rebeiro gave us a tie, a tradition amongst Elders - he's a star, and I now know how to tie a tie two different ways). We got a new district leader, Elder Powell, who is training a greenie in Hopeton, Elder Clark. They're pretty cool guys, so far. We got good transfer gossip about some crazy Elders, but I'll just keep that to myself. We did get to see the other Sisters, which was crazy. Sis. Smith told me Clarissa has been going to church in Nassau for the past four weeks straight. That's some awesome stuff. <br />
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What else ... I've become addicted to Milo. It's like a chocolate milk/hot chocolate drink. It's good. From walking, I've experienced the revenge of dirty feet that I remembered from Lucea -- wearing sandals and walking for 8 hours on the streets of Jamrock ... my feet are black when I get home every night. I had a horrible bout of hayfever yesterday, I wanted to collapse and not move for the entire day. It was rough. The weather is getting warmer, which unfortunately means that roaches and flies are taking over. We had five roaches in our house yesterday, and they're HUGE ... simply HUGE. It's a sad experience. I need to buy a new toothbrush. :/<br />
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We went to a funeral for a member's mother yesterday at a 7th day church. We sang an impromptu version of Beautiful Zion, Built Above and got an "amen". It was an interesting experience, of course. The night before we helped her with a gathering of friends and family. I ate mannish water. I repeat. I ate mannish water. Boo-yah. Sho'nuff. Still not eating chicken foot, but I do what I can. At her house they were watching Power Ranger Samurai, which I thought was lame, and made me miss Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers of my childhood, and then led Sis. Everette and I to a conversation about GhostWriter. That was a good show. Good times. Speaking of Sis. Everette, anytime something is really funny she laughs and in her southern accent says "that was good to me" ... it's the best thing I've ever heard. I've adopted it.<br />
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Here's your scripture chain of the day:<br />
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1 Cor 2:9<br />
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3 NE 17: 16<br />
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Isa 64:4<br />
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The Andersens are great, and have been such great friends and a great example. We love Sunday dinners with them, and I got to talk to them lastnight about some of my worries/fears/struggles. We talked about the progress we've made on our missions, and how far we still have to go. One thing I realized is that I want to want to do whatever the Lord asks of me. I do it, but mostly out of obligation or duty or a desire to be obedient and a love for the Lord. That is good, don't get me wrong. But what's even better is WANTING to do all that stuff ... my will being His will so it's not ever done with a grudge. That is something that is hard to achieve, but I know it's possible. I'm working on it. I'm working on not comparing myself to other people. That gives Satan such power ... and I am unique and cannot be compared to anyone else. I just have to seek to follow the Lord's example, and do what He wants and expects. I've gotta stay focused on seeking His approval. Sis. Andersen was saying how she has the same weaknesses now approaching 70 as she did in her 20s. That's depressing, but Elder Andersen mentioned how life is made up of overcoming ... that is our purpose. So it only makes sense I guess, that we spend the duration of our mortality overcoming the same ol' weaknesses. I just wish they'd go away. Sister Andersen also helped me to understand that though I believe I'm awesome, I must work to make something out of that. God gives us the tools and trusts us to build something with them. If we just put them away, as awesome as those tools may be, nothing will ever be produced and they will go to waste. <br />
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Some scriptures that stuck out to me this week were:<br />
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Jacob 2:19<br />
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Mormon 9:27<br />
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and<br />
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Mormon 6:17 <br />
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Something important, vitally important, is to filter out the good, the better, and the best. I think that's the solution to many of life's problems -- jacking up our priorities. I have also learned that it is key for members to fellowship recent converts and less-actives. Without that, they will not last. Take notice! And I also noticed that I'm developing some pretty good ball control and football skills. I am however, terribly out of shape. So'go.<br />
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Well, a couple days shy of my one year mark. It has been an amazing year! I finished the Book of Mormon for the 2nd time lastnight. I think that's the first time I've read it twice in a year. I would love it, if everyone reading this e-mail, would start and finish the Book of Mormon by the time I get home. I'm not gonna make it a commitment, because it should just be your decision. But I can promise you, that if you do, you will have a stronger relationship with Jesus Christ, a better understanding of His gospel, more peace and comfort in times of adversity, more guidance and direction in your everyday life, and answers to life's greatest questions all by September. Hard to pass up, no? I'm endeavoring to finish Preach My Gospel, the Old Testament, D&C and the BOM one more time before I come home. So I know, you can do it!<br />
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Something that is crazy is that a question I had regarding the doctrine of the apostasy back on September 6th was answered during my scripture study of Mormon 1:13-17 on March 24th. That's a big chunk of time without an answer! I know it came on the Lord's time ... a spiritual witness of the divinity of the Book of Mormon had to come first. It was only after that could I receive my answer about the other doctrine. Very cool how that works.<br />
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Well, I think that's all folks. Sorry no pictures today.<br />
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The church is true. The gospel's great. God lives. Jesus is the Christ. <br />
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Repentance is real. The Atonement is infinitely powerful and necessary.<br />
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The Book of Mormon is the word of God. Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God.<br />
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Keep it real. Walk Worthy,<br />
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Sister Payne <br />
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**** <br />
Holy Hey Family, Friends, and Fans -- <br />
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Could General Conference have been any more amazing? The answer is no. No it could not have been. I will try my best to contain my excitement into a single e-mail. <br />
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I'll start by saying some themes I noticed at conference: becoming as little children, patient persistence, continuing in faith, receiving answers to our prayers and a testimony line upon line, lose yourself (in the service of others) to find yourself, be the answer to someone's prayer, and get married already! Most of those messages were pretty hard to miss.<br />
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Some of my favorite talks were Elder Cook's talk about the role of women (seriously answered some of my prayers and questions) and Elder Oaks' talk about desires (again, hit the nail on the head as far as some of my deepest questions were concerned). Of course Elder Robbins' talk about the difference between to be and to do was a highlight. I haven't stopped thinking about it. It really made me think about a lot of things. My two favorite talks were C. Scott Grow's about the Atonement and Pres. Uchtdorf's about not waiting on our road to Damascus. Whoa. Powerful. What a blessing General Conference is, to have the heavens opened and to hear the voice of God through His servants. I gotta say what was super funny was all the members singing along when MOTAB was singing. I find it hilarious that I was sent to a people that love to hear their own voice, almost as if the Lord was like "see, Sister Payne? see how that is for other people? think twice before you open your mouth every five seconds!" ;) Most of the lessons learned during conference are written in my journal and my study journal and are too lengthy for me to share ... sorry. I think most of them are strictly personally relevant for me anyway, and I'm sure each of you heard what you needed to hear over the past two days. That's the miracle of the gospel - no matter who you are, where you're from, what your circumstances or background are, God can specially fit the Spirit and revelation to you as an individual. To see the variety of people at the church yesterday - old, young, Jamaican, American, single, married, all with different weaknesses, personalities, strengths, and opinions all united in a common belief and all seeking God's counsel in their lives and receiving it - THAT is the miracle of the restored gospel in a nutshell.<br />
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This last week was extremely long and busy. We had a leadership training in Kingston that was wonderful in every way. It focused on the 8 new Preach my Gospel concepts and how we can more fully apply them in our finding and teaching efforts. We've seen an outpouring of support for Sis. Bodley who just lost her mother, which has strengthened my testimony of fellowship and the importance of church. We've had great lessons with lots of people, specifically Odain and Demetri who are progressing toward baptism and will be baptized April 9th. Awesome! Courtney has some issues he needs to work out before he can be baptized, but he's meeting with Pres. Hendricks this week to get it all sorted out. I've learned a lot in my companionship - that pride is killer, that communication is key, and that if someone is mad at me I tend to know exactly WHY they're mad and the exact moment they got that way. I guess I'm observant to those things (probably a heightened sense from watching all those seasons of Psych ;) I have learned to not ever do something to "prove a point". The lessons continue.<br />
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The miracle of the week was the inspiration to call Gavaska, our old 7th day investigator, and invite him to conference. He said he wasn't gonna come and then he came to BOTH sessions on Sunday. It is a hard thing to see someone who knows the truth. His soul has been awakened and he recognizes that he is relearning what he always knew, but he can't bring himself to face it. He fights it with everything he has. He resorts back to the same old arguments that have never made sense, simply because he cannot accept being wrong. It used to be frustrating, but now it is sad, because we love him and we want him to have the fulness that he is seeking. It was great to have him there though. A real blessing, and one step closer to his heart being softened. We played a hilarious prank on Elder Ashton this week, getting the Assistants to call him and tell him he's being emergency transferred because one of the Sisters confessed to having feelings for him so he can't be our zone leader anymore. It was priceless. He even called Pres. Hendricks, hahahahaha. We have pranked the prankster, and I am content. <br />
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Here's your scripture chain of the week:<br />
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D&C 58:31-33<br />
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Gen 18:14<br />
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2 Peter 3:9<br />
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The Lord NEVER backs down on His promises.<br />
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Your random thought of the week is that I love chili - and I really want to go to a chili cookoff. I'm having dreams about it for goodness sakes.<br />
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Alright, my last two thoughts for the week are thus:<br />
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1) As I was reading in Enos with our RC Chamieka, I learned something ... Enos had OFTEN heard the things of God taught to him by his father. I envisioned Enos growing up in a household where they spoke often of the gospel, read the scriptures and had family prayer ... but it didn't take root in him. It never entered his heart. It wasn't until he had this experience, hunting in the forest, that the words he had heard all along "sunk deep into [his] heart" and "[his] soul hungered". It was only then that the things he had been taught or told could make a difference in his life. It was then that he changed. I know this experience well. I identified with Enos moreso than I ever had, and it has become my favorite Book of Mormon story. What held him up in the past that kept him from feeling that? Sin, probably. Stubborn behavior, or lack of desire. But when, after experience and trial his heart had been softened and his mind opened, the Lord took aim and sent the Spirit straight to him. Cool.<br />
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2) I am extremely grateful for a branch president and stake president that supported me serving a mission. They were my priesthood leaders who acted under inspiration from Heavenly Father to never once discouraged me or steer me in another direction. I fully expected to meet resistance given my circumstances, but they respected my agency and listened to the promptings of the Spirit in leading me through this process. What a blessing that has been in my life, for even though they did not understand why at that time, this was the course my Father in Heaven wanted for me. This was my golden ticket, the way in which I have become and am becoming who my Savior wants me to be. My mission has done more for me than I think anyone could really understand, and I will be forever grateful. I have no doubt in my mind that I am exactly where God wants me to be.<br />
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I wouldn't be a very good missionary if I did not bear my testimony. As President says, we have no other purpose as missionaries but our purpose, which is to invite others to come unto Christ. I know this church is true. It is led by He whose name we bear. Everything we do in the church is centered around the Master. We listen to a prophet's voice, we read the Book of Mormon, we attend church and have families all because that is what draws us closer to Christ and prepares us to live once again in His presence. Jesus Christ DID atone for our sins! He did! Do you believe that? He suffered pain, and bled from every pore, and died on the cross to live again so that you and I and each and every one of us could be forgiven of our sins, be free from shame and guilt and pain, and find strength to carry us through difficulty. I know He did, because I have personally felt the healing power of the miracle of the atonement. The purpose of our lives is to gain a spiritual education that will prepare us for the eternities. This is the time for us to prepare to meet God, and there is JOY in the journey! There is no greater happiness that can be found in all the world than in following the gospel of Jesus Christ. No amount of wealth, fortune, fame or fun will yield as much peace, comfort, and prosperity as will keeping the commandments and being filled with faith. This is the message I share with people everyday, one that has taken me a long time to find out for myself, and one that I want to share with everyone I love.<br />
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I love you. Believe it.<br />
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Until next week,<br />
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Sister Payne <br />
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P.S<br />
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We celebrated my one year mark by eating chili and spaghetti.<br />
***<br />
Hey Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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I'm sorry this will be short. This week has been hard and discouraging and awesome at the same time. I will briefly elaborate:<br />
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1) Odain Johnson and Demetri Roulston were baptized on Saturday and confirmed on Sunday. We've been working with Demetri (his family really) since we got here. It was an emotional experience for me, and spiritually powerful and we couldn't be happier with their progress. I'm excited for their future! Their whole family, less-active, came to the baptism and to church. His uncle, Rhuel, wants to be taught and wants to get baptized. Awesome.<br />
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2) The Atonement of Jesus Christ has the power to turn wounds into scars. I can't say in words how thankful I am for that and how it has changed my life.<br />
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3) I've been working on changing "you" to "I" when I take notes. I get in the habit of writing stuff like "if you do this, then you'll get this blessing" ... I've started to change it to first person to get a better personal application from the things I learn.<br />
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4) "Goals reflect the desires of our hearts and our vision of what we can accomplish. Through goals and plans, our hopes are transformed into action. Goal setting and planning are acts of faith." - Preach my Gospel<br />
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5) Chamieka's baptism didn't count. In short, the two Elders that were witnesses were not truthful about her going all the way under the water, most likely because she had such a hard time with it they felt bad making her do it again. All the same, we had to break the news to her and her mother this week that she needs to do it again. Man, it has been a struggle - feeling let down by fellow missionaries, frustrated with our church leaders who assumed we knew about it and were hiding it consequently questioning our integrity .. it hasn't been an easy situation to deal with. But it's working out and we're moving forward in faith.<br />
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6) There is contention in our companionship. It's a living hell in our apartment right now, for true. At zone conference on Wednesday, that'll have to be addressed because the work is suffering. It is easy to get along with someone on a social level, but on a missionary every day in and day out level, it is difficult. Especially if there is no communication. This is the first I've encountered such a challenge, and I honestly don't know what else to do.<br />
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7) We have a new district leader, Elder Larsen from Gilbert, AZ.<br />
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8) I made a list called "what my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints means to me". It reads as follows:<br />
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a. hope<br />
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b. eternal life<br />
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c. peace of conscience/freedom from guilt or shame<br />
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d. purpose and direction<br />
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e. knowledge<br />
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f. responsibility<br />
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g. the gift of the Holy Ghost<br />
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h. prophetic counsel<br />
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i. virtue<br />
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j. fellowship<br />
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Honestly, that's it this week. Sorry it isn't much. The greatest lesson I've learned this week is no matter how hard things may get, the Lord is still with me and The Book of Mormon is still there to give me the exact comfort that I need.<br />
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All the best from Jamaica,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
***<br />
Hey Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Sorry about the lame e-mail last week. It was a rough week. This last week has been a little better and consequently I have more to write about.<br />
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"Wherever you live on this earth and whatever your life's situation may be, I testify to you that the gospel of Jesus Christ has the divine power to lift you to great heights from what appears at times to be an unbearable burden or weakness. The Lord knows your circumstances and your challenges" - Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf<br />
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That is my testimony this week - not one of us is ever forgotten or forsaken ... as we turn to the gospel of Jesus Christ we find the solution to every problem. We have had what seems like debacle after debacle lately. If there was one word I would use to describe my time in Mandeville it would be AWKWARD. If there isn't a challenge in our companionship, then there is a challenge with a member, and if not with a member than an investigator. So is the nature of this work. We've encountered challenges that believe me, I have felt like I did not sign on for. But through them all I've grown stronger and learned, as I have always believed, trials are awesome.<br />
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Chamieka ended up not needing to be baptized again. The ordinance was ratified by the first presidency. This was a huge blessing, as her mother and some of the members were up in arms over the ordeal. The complexity and confusion is not over, but the worst of it is. Sister Wilkinson has struggled with the entire process, and her faith has been challenged. I have recognized the gift of faith that I have been blessed with, and have been grateful for the prior experiences I've had that have sparked doubt in me that I have been able to draw on to help my companion at this current time. <br />
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Andre dropped himself, but then called us saying he realized something and wants to see us again. Who knows. He's an enigma. Chris is struggling with smoking, but halfway committed to baptism. We have high hopes for him. We had a very sad lesson with Courtney, where he tried to give us back The Book of Mormon. He had put his earrings back in and basically given up on the repentance process. We're keeping him in our prayers, but he hasn't come to church or activities lately.<br />
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I had a very cool phone call the other day - from Nicki Broby, my old Relief Society leader from Desert Ridge singles ward! She's a star, and she's volunteering on a US Navy Medical ship that is docked in Kingston, borrowed the Shafermeyer's phone and gave me a ring. It was great to hear from her and once again I'm influenced by her righteous example to serve in such a capacity. It was awesome to hear a surprising familiar voice!<br />
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We had zone conference, and it was AMAZING. We watched a talk Elder Holland had given at the MTC in January that literally changed the way I look at my mission and the rest of my life. The greatest lesson I learned is that after Christ's resurrection, Peter went back fishing. The Savior called him to shore after letting them get a great catch and asked him THREE times if he really loved Him ... Peter responded a resounding yes, all three times to which the Lord responded "FEED MY SHEEP"... Elder Holland pointed out that our calling is not just for 18 months or 2 years, but it is for a lifetime. We are under covenant to always remember Him, and we cannot remember Him and not love him, and we cannot love Him and not serve Him and our brothers and sisters likewise. He stated how we cannot return to the life we had before ... we cannot ever be the same because we have been set apart for the rest of our lives. It was really motivating and refreshing, and has refocused us on being organized, prepared, spirit-centered servants of Christ.<br />
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I've been pondering a lot about the messages in the last general conference, about charity and loving and understanding others. I think it was so cool to hear the leaders talk about charity and that if we do not serve one another that our faith is in vain. It reminded me of the quote from Brigham Young in one of the first conferences, about when the pioneers were crossing the plains in harsh conditions. He told everyone at the conference that they were to go out and get the saints off the plains. He said:<br />
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"On the 5th day of October, 1856, many of our brethren and sisters are on the plains with handcarts, and probably many are now seven hundred miles from this place, and they must be brought here, we must send assistance to them. The text will be, 'to get them here.' <br />
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That is my religion; that is the dictation of the Holy Ghost that I possess. It is to save the people. This is the salvation I am now seeking for. <br />
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I will tell you all that your faith, religion, and profession of religion, will never save one soul of you in the Celestial Kingdom of our God, unless you carry out just such principles as I am now teaching you. Go and bring in those people now on the plains. And attend strictly to those things which we call temporal, or temporal duties. Otherwise, your faith will be in vain. The preaching you have heard will be in vain to you, and you will sink to Hell, unless you attend to the things we tell you"<br />
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Man, that's one of my favorite quotes. Echoed in the latest general conference Bishop H. David Burton talked about the start of the welfare program in the church. President J. Reuben Clark who headed it stated that it would be “a system that would … reach out and take care of the people no matter what the cost.” He said he would even go so far as to “close the seminaries, shut down missionary work for a period of time, or even close the temples, but they would not let the people go hungry.” 3 <br />
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In 1 Corinthians 13 it says:<br />
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1Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not acharity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.<br />
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2And though I have the gift of aprophecy, and understand all bmysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.<br />
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3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the apoor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.<br />
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Paul even goes so far as to teach us that our acts and works are not enough - it is the quality of love within our heart that defines charity. If I give all my time and money and effort to others but do it out of obligation or with a grudging heart then it profits me nothing. Isn't that amazing? I am seeing in a fresh view what we learned at conference - that without charity, we are nothing, and that until we reach that level of discipleship we are not the Saints that we need to be. And I've found that seeking more to understand one another - backgrounds, views, struggles, etc - greatly improves our love for one another.<br />
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I have learned that there is little meaning to anything I do as a disciple of Christ until I lose myself in the service of others. Until that happens, I'm merely in this for myself. Until that happens, I'm not really following His example - the Master who labored all His days for the salvation of others. Just like it says in Luke 22:32 : When thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. I'm grateful that Peter received so much advice that I need to follow.<br />
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This is just all stuff that I'm working on. I'm also working on freestyle rapping. We do it basically everyday. My rap name is Mizz P-Nut. Sister Everette is DJ Fro$t and Sis. Wilkinson is Willie Fantastik. <br />
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Our zone leaders did a super cute gesture for us. They pretended to take a survey for zone conference, and ended up just buying us our fave candy and drinks and leaving it on our door with a note saying keep up the good work. It was awesome - I don't know if I wrote about it last time or not, but it was great. We have the best zone leaders ever. <br />
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I may come home in October, not September. Stay tuned.<br />
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Don't forget -- <br />
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“The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it." - Joseph Smith<br />
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I know this church is Christ's kingdom, and I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I know Christ had a perfect church until He let all of us inside of it. I know I was called by that very same Jesus Christ to serve a mission here in Jamaica and labor among God's children. I know that it is only through the gospel of Jesus Christ that we can receive the FULL happiness and FULL blessings that have been prepared for us since before this world was created. I know, and I don't know of myself. Nothing I have studied or heard or learned from any man or book has taught me these things. While I believe everything I believe is logical and sensical, I can only hold onto it and declare it as I do because of the feelings I have felt and the confirmation I have felt from the Holy Ghost - the supernatural thoughts, impressions and feelings that are not of this mortal world but of an eternal nature have confirmed to me the course I am on is correct, and I am forever grateful for it. <br />
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I love you all! Have an amazing Easter week.<br />
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Until next time,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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Alma 32: 37-39<br />
***<br />
Hey Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Hope you had a great holy week and a fabulous Easter weekend. In Jamaica they take Easter very seriously... everything in town was straight up SHUT DOWN good friday, Easter Sunday, and today as well. We've spent the time today flying kites and chillin' with the Andersens. My kite got stuck in the tallest tree in Mandeville and Bro. Morrison climbed it and got it down. True story. We've had a lot of great things happen this week, as well as some not-so-great. But what else is new? In short, I broke a lightbulb over Sis. Everette's head, her and Sis. Wilkinson deskirted me in the middle of a grocery store, we ran into a less-active we had never met while bashing with some anti on the street, I found an awesome Star Wars reference in Psalms 83:10, I read Matthew 26-28 over the corresponding days of Easter week, we got a couple new investigators, Demetri has memorized the sacrament prayers and he's only ten, Odain will be getting the Aaronic Priesthood next week, everyone at the Goljar house spells their name differently everytime we talk to them, we spent so much time street contacting this week that we got 40 lessons, we freestyle rapped on a street corner to try to get people to stop, and it worked .... and I think that's about it. I got mail, which was miraculous (thanks Gibsons & Deckers) and as always, I've grown closer to my Savior.<br />
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I will share one lesson that I learned this week - a very important one ... one of the greatest questions I have had, and many have I'm sure, is "is that the Spirit or is that me?" Now I've received many advice about this and read many talks. But nothing hit me like what Elder Larsen shared at district meeting this week. My MTC teacher had taught us that if we are living our lives righteously, every good thought is from the Spirit. BUT the way Elder Larsen put it helped me to understand and apply that concept even more. He said that if we want to know if it is the Spirit check out<br />
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Moroni 7:13<br />
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and if we want to know if it is us then check out<br />
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Mosiah 3:19<br />
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Every good thought is from God - so therefore we need to act on all impressions to do good. Our thoughts generally speaking will lead us to do something else. If we see someone walking down the street and have two thoughts ... the first is don't talk to them they won't listen, and the second is talk to them they need the gospel in their life ... it is easy to see which one is from God and which one is from me. I'm not doing a very good job at explaining this, but I hope that you can come to your own understanding and maybe it helps somebody reading. If not, it helped me a whole heap so job well done. This week I've been focusing on acting on every good impression. It's amazing how much easier I can sleep at night ;)<br />
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Well, since I didn't have too much to write about this week, in the spirit of Easter I wanted to share my testimony. Sister Morrison gave the best Easter sacrament meeting talk I've ever heard, and the Spirit was so strong. I wrote in my journal that if I wasn't a member already, I would've got baptized yesterday afternoon. She spoke on gratitude for the Atonement, and after a week spent bearing testimony of the living Christ it hit me. I was grateful for the opportunity to be in Jamaica and hear such a moving talk, full of sincerity and Spirit. I am B-L-E-S-S-E-D. <br />
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I know that Jesus Christ is the Only Begotten Son of God. I know that He is the Savior, Redeemer and Exemplar for all mankind. The prophecies in the Old Testament are confirmed by the first hand account in the New, and the third witness in the Book of Mormon. I know that His work and His glory is the same as the Father's - to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man (Moses 1:39). I know that before He was ever born, He stepped forward and volunteered to be our valiant Savior in the pre-mortal life. I know that He was born in humble circumstances, He healed the sick and raised the dead, gave sight to the blind and taught His gospel. I know that He organized his church, an organization which made possible the saving ordinances for our salvation. He established authority, gave clear counsel and direction, and instructed His apostles to carry on His work. I know that in the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus Christ took upon Himself our every pain, weakness, and infirmity. I know that the pain was so great it caused Him to bleed from every pore. I know that He finished His suffering on the cross at Calvary, and it is only because of that profound act of love that we can be clean from our sins, be given divine help through our trials, and have complete faith in Christ. He is our advocate with the Father, pleading for us to receive mercy so that His suffering will not be in vain. I know that He died, and three days later was resurrected and that He lives. He showed Himself first to the people in Jerusalem, then to the Nephites in the Americas, and ascended to sit on the right hand of the Father. I know that He appeared to a young Joseph Smith in a sacred grove in Palmyra New York in 1820. I know that He lives today, that He heads His church, even The Church of Jesus Christ, the only true and living church upon the face of the earth. <br />
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But what does all of this mean? Why does it matter? Through this testimony I have come to gain a deep and profound appreciation for prayer. I have been able to talk directly to my Father in Heaven, with all sincerity because of the instruction Christ has given to us about prayer. I have been able to receive answers to my prayers, due to my faith in Jesus Christ, as weak as it is. I have been blessed by the Priesthood, and received the saving ordinances of baptism and confirmation, as well as the ordinances of the temple all through Priesthood power. I have been called by a prophet and set apart as a missionary for the Savior through that same Priesthood. I have an understanding of the plan of salvation, made possible only through the power of Christ. I know that families can be sealed together forever, as mine has, and after this life I will not be far from them. I know that when I get married and have my own family, we will be together for eternity if we live worthy of that blessing, and Christ is the one that makes that all possible, for we could not accomplish any of this on our own, nor be worthy of the privelege without His Atonement. Through scripture study I have seen life more clearly, as though I've slipped on a pair of eternal glasses that bring everything into focus. I have seen how obedience to the commandment of the Lord bring blessings, and I have also seen, sometimes too late, how wickedness never brings happiness. Through the Atonement I have received strength, help, grace, and mercy during my deepest times of loneliness and trial. I have a sincere gratitude for the access to that divine power, for there was never a way I could have gotten through so many hard times on my own. Through the Atonement I have been granted the gift of repentance, which is the greatest gift I've ever received. I have experienced a mighty change of heart, felt the miracle of forgiveness, and have been given bright hope for the future to replace what was once dark and helpless abandonment. I have learned how all things bear record of Him - whether it is math, literature, science, or history - the Creator is everywhere, if we but look for Him. <br />
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Not until my mission did I have a personal experience with and witness of the Atonement, the blessing of Priesthood leaders, prophets and apostles, and the miracle of the restored gospel. This was all things I had learned and read about. It is different now. It is something that I live, breathe, eat, drink, sleep ... a follower of Christ is no longer what I am - it is who I am. And my strongest wish is to only grow stronger after my mission and to live a life worthy of such sacrifice and love that the Savior has given me.<br />
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My purpose is to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel, through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. My invitation to all reading if to do just that - I cannot extend a commitment that is specific to each individual - no two lives are the same. But whether it is reading the scriptures, going to church, praying, bearing your testimony to strengthen it - etc etc etc ... wherever you are on the gospel path, do something this week to strengthen your faith, to change your heart and repent and return back to the Lord, to make/renew promises with your Father in Heaven, to have the Spirit with you and guide you, and to endure with joy to the end.<br />
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It's only through Christ that anything is possible. Whatever the question, He is the answer.<br />
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All the love in my heart.<br />
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Until next week,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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John 14:6<br />
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2 Nephi 9:41<br />
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2 Nephi 31:21<br />
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Mosiah 3:17<br />
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Alma 38:9<br />
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Helaman 5:9<br />
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2 Nephi 10:23<br />
***<br />
Wat a gwaan Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Stay tuned for a disjointed e-mail ... I'm so tired my eyes are closing as I type. Here we go.<br />
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Transfers are on Wednesday, and Sis. Everette is going to Junction to be with Sis. Smith. Sis. Speakman is coming here, so the tripanionship continues. I'll miss Sis. Everette - its like making a best friend and having them move away a couple months after you meet them! Still in the same zone though, so that's good. And I have learned that the Lord is in transfer calls, so I'm not worried about anything. Six more weeks in Mandeville - I'm officially in this area longer than I was in Nassau!<br />
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Yesterday was Elder Larsen's birthday. It is a tradition in Jamrock to flour people on their birthday, so we snuck to their house, beat them home, hid in the bush and dumped three bags of flour all over him. It was awesome.<br />
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We've learned how to play two games from Elder Andersen - three card no peekey and hot dice. They're fun, and addicting and take up any down time we have. Unfortunately, both are games of chance. And I'm much better when I have to rely on smarts instead of luck. Oh well. It has been getting really hot - and we've been on foot lately. It's good, except when you come home and its even hotter in our giant apartment. I bought a mini-bible here from a Christian store. It is so nice to carry around - good purchase. I am still into drinking herbal tea in the mornings. I don't know how Sis. Wilkinson got me into that, but it is a routine now. My mornings feel weird without a cup. <br />
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As far as people we're working with, we had a great lesson with a new investigator Oliver. He was a former, and we had a spiritual powerhouse of a lesson where he didn't want to pray and we had him say a kneeling prayer at the end of the lesson ... we sat in silence, man it felt like we were on The District DVDs or something it was great. The next day, he lost his job and had to move to some remote part of St. Ann. WHY?! Curse said circumstances. We're still trying to find new people to teach, but we had three former investigators at church so we're gonna try to pick them back up. Odain got ordained to the Aaronic Priesthood yesterday (sweet!) and the family is doing awesome - walked to church in the rain! When we first got here, none were coming to church and they had a ride every Sunday. Everyone told us they were a lost cause. DO NOT EVER BELIEVE when someone says that about anyone - it requires patience, and love and diligence but everyone is capable of changing. That's the miracle of the gospel of Jesus Christ! The family is doing great. We have FHE every monday with this 15 year old less active and his active grandmother. We found out last week, poor kid, his mom is just off the wall with her emotions and is abusive and won't let him come to church and that's why he doesn't come. The kid is dealing with stuff way beyond his maturity level, and we have no idea how to help other than to fast and pray for things to work out. The sad thing is his grandma has raised him, his mom just came into the picture a couple years ago and now wants to control his life. If it isn't one trial, its another. <br />
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Somethings I learned or notice this week --<br />
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First, I love how there isn't any anti literature at any church bookstore - we don't seek to tear other's down to build ourselves up. We went into this Christian bookstore and there were four anti-Mormon books not to mention all the anti-Jewish books and a whole heap of other ones. They had a whole section about what was wrong with other religions right next to their "what would Jesus do?" bracelets. There's something wrong with that in my opinion.<br />
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I also learned that temporal welfare affects spiritual welfare. People have a very hard time thinking about serving in callings or doing missionary work when they're hungry. I understand on a different level why welfare work is so important for the salvation and happiness of God's children. They cannot have the stress and fear of poverty and how they're going to feed their kids that night, and be worried about studying a lesson for Sunday at the same time. <br />
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A member this week taught me that church is a gas station - everybody comes to get fuel but there are different kinds - some just get unleaded, just enough to keep them going ... some get Diesel because they're barely hangin' on and need something dense to get them through, some get premium - all there is to get and more and they leave ready to hit the road with strength ... and some, just pickup a candy bar and stall as soon as they get out the parking lot.<br />
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We watched the CES fireside lastnight with Rosemary M. Wixom. It was really good - what stuck out to me was the process of becoming, and coming to know things. We do not get anywhere by standing still, and as she said "out of ourselves and into Christ we must go" ... that's the definition of progress I think, in every phrase of our life. <br />
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I drove down the wrong side of the road lastnight on accident. It was scary. Jesus took the wheel. <br />
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We made a branch mission plan. We're really excited about it. Hopefully they stick to it! We can only do so much to implement it.<br />
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Here are my scriptures of the week:<br />
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Alma 37<br />
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38And now, my son, I have somewhat to say concerning the thing which our fathers call a ball, or director—or our fathers called it aLiahona, which is, being interpreted, a compass; and the Lord prepared it.<br />
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39And behold, there cannot any man work after the manner of so curious a workmanship. And behold, it was prepared to show unto our fathers the course which they should travel in the wilderness.<br />
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40And it did work for them according to their afaith in God; therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day.<br />
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41Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by asmall means it did show unto them marvelous works. They were bslothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey;<br />
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42Therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did anot travel a direct course, and were afflicted with hunger and thirst, because of their transgressions.<br />
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43And now, my son, I would that ye should understand that these things are not without a ashadow; for as our fathers were slothful to give heed to this compass (now these things were temporal) they did not prosper; even so it is with things which are spiritual.<br />
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44For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the aword of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.<br />
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45And now I say, is there not a atype in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise.<br />
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46O my son, do not let us be aslothful because of the beasiness of the cway; for so was it with our fathers; for so was it prepared for them, that if they would dlook they might elive; even so it is with us. The way is prepared, and if we will look we may live forever.<br />
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47And now, my son, see that ye take acare of these sacred things, yea, see that ye blook to God and live. Go unto this people and declare the word, and be sober. My son, farewell.<br />
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That's it for this week I guess. <br />
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Until next time,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
***<br />
Hey Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Happy Mother's Day! Since I called home yesterday, this e-mail won't be as detailed because I don't like repeating myself. It was great to call home - it feels like I never left. It was weird to think about just how much time has passed, that this time last year I was in Lucea calling home for Mother's Day and I had just left the MTC. This time next year ... who knows! Time goes by weirdly slow and weirdly fast on a mission. It is hard to explain, but its quite an experience in and of itself.<br />
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We're having some challenges as always, some more unique than others. We have a less active whose mother is not a member and is basically pulling an Alma the Younger on the people of Jamaica. He wants to come to church, she won't let him. She won't let him sit in when we come over for family home evening with his grandmother. She only goes to her church to prove a point to her son that she's in control. She told two referrals of ours who had come to church and were super interested that we were a cult and not Christian and we would brainwash them and now they won't talk to us. We don't know what to do about the situation, but its devastating. The poor 15 year old kid is in way over his head. It makes my heart hurt just thinking about it, when we talk to him and he's crying because he just wants to get out of the situation he's in ... constant fighting and contention. Prayer and fasting ... its all we can do.<br />
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We've been blessed - this last week we got five new investigators - that's A LOT for our area and we feel pretty good about them too. We have a new zone leader, Elder Dale. Today is the start of a new transfer and we've set some pretty great goals in our zone and companionship that we're excited to work towards for the month of May. I started my study of the Old Testament today. If I stick to my reading schedule I will finish it in 12 weeks -- tedious, but worth it methinks. I have also started a change in my diet as of today which will pose a challenge - I'm striving to go completely dairy and gluten free. I'm gonna test it out for one month and see how my body responds. I'm all about health, you know me. Jk.<br />
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Sister Speakman is here now, and Sister Everette is in Junction. I miss that crazy gal, but Sister Speakman is a hard worker and takes the gospel very seriously so I know we'll get stuff done. I've officially now served with every one of the Sisters out here. My assumption is that Sister Speakman and I will be together the next three transfers until we go home .. but anything could happen. We have a funny less active member that calls us Sister Pam, Sister Willie, Sister Eve, and Sister Speechless. Don't ask, cause I don't even know.<br />
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I've learned a lot this week. Something that stuck out to me while doing my D&C countdown was D&C 130:18-19 and 20-21. It is so interesting to me that we gain knowledge through diligence and obedience, not just through being taught or taking a class. It is through our diligence and our obedience that we gain spiritual and secular knowledge. This shows me that we advance simply as much as we desire to advance. We our the gatekeepers of our own destiny ;) It is also very cool to me that every blessing we receive is a direct result of obedience. Think about how disobedient we are, yet how many blessings we receive each day! Imagine if our obedience was amped up, and we were actively engaged each day in becoming more obedient than we were yesterday ... the blessings are ours for the taking! I have also learned than in order to reach great expectations, chastening is required. If we cannot take correction, we will never progress. <br />
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Proverbs 3:5-6 -- let God erase all the disappointments and move forward with faith. This is the key to success in this life and eternal life in the life to come.<br />
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A couple days ago we were talking about the greatest change in us as individuals as a result of our mission so far. Mine required some thought... but I've concluded that the biggest change that has occurred as a result of my missionary service is a great and deeper understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. That alone has changed my behavior, my choices, my desires, and my attitude about life, love, and faith. That alone has been worth the time and money and effort. That really, truly, has changed everything. And I am profoundly grateful for it.<br />
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I'll end with a sad and funny story. Lastnight we picked up the Johnsons, a married couple in the branch, to go teach a referral they gave us. After we dropped them home it began to smell like dog poop in our car. We assumed we had tracked it on our shoes. So we left our shoes on the back porch when we got home and went to bed. It smelled bad, I mean really bad, but we had forgotten about it by this morning. We get into our car to come e-mail and it wreaks, like fermented poo as Sister Speakman described. We took out the floor mats, holding our breath all the while, only for Sister Wilkinson to find a giant whole doodie stuck to the side of one of the floor mats, where Bro. Johnson had been sitting! CURSES! It grossed us out for days, and is just one of those missionary stories I'll always remember.<br />
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Peace in the middle East. The church is true, the book is blue, God loves you and I do too!<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
***<br />
Hey Family Friends and Fans --<br />
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First things first -- as it is getting to the home stretch of my mission, I beg of you to get out your wiggles in the 7th inning and hold on strong until the end. By this I mean, keep writing, keep e-mailing, don't forget about me! Don't get trunky, and I won't get trunky. It's amazingly difficult for missionaries to not think about home as it is, let alone when you're in a really slow area and things just seems like they're crawling... and they are crawling ... but I'm pullin' a Derece Banning, pickin' up my bobsled and walkin' to the finish line. I ask you to do the same. Thanks in advance. <br />
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Part of why I say this is because we just got the news that 2 sisters are coming in October - which means my assumption that I'm staying til October is like 90% now. I'll tell you why. Sis. Smith goes home in July -- Sis. Wilkinson in September. Sis. Speakman requested September, which would mean that if I went home in September, Sis. Everette would have to train two new missionaries. That's not gonna happen - so I'm gonna be here to train one and then they'll be stuck in a tripanionship after I leave I guess. So - 19 months instead of 18. I'm in it to win it - lookin forward to it - I mean, when else will I get this experience? Never! But I know Satan will work really hard to get me to be a dead missionary, and I refuse. So stick with me, and I'll stick with it.<br />
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Second, WE HAD AN EARTHQUAKE THIS MORNING, complete with an aftershock or something. It was awesome - lasted for like a minute. It freaked us out, because it was much stronger than the last one and we're like "OH NO! Earthquakes in divers places! It's the last days! May 21st! Ahh!" But then it stopped, and we were good. Speaking of May 21st, that's all the rage here. Every Jamaican is expecting doomsday on Saturday. I think it will be funny to get to Sunday morning and see what happens to all the billboards. It's like the millennium again - y2k - only more funny.<br />
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Third, there will be a patriarch in Jamaica next month. This hasn't happened since the 90s. This is incredible for the members here, such a blessing. They are so excited and we're doing all we can to get them all amped up and even more excited. This will be such a blessing to the church here. We're really excited. We're not excited that our church is not on the census in the Caribbean, because the government thinks we're a cult, but hey ... baby steps I guess, right?<br />
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Fourth, Sis. Andersen has a ruptured rotator cuff in her right shoulder. This means she's getting an MRI and the Andersens are going home. DEVASTATION! AHHHH. I don't know what we're gonna do. They've made Mandeville awesome for us. Now we're gonna have nowhere to go when all our appointments cancel and we want some chocolate cake and laughter to ease our pain. We're pretty sad, and we try not to think about it or it gets us down. But they gotta do what they gotta do. Be sure to keep her in your prayers.<br />
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Fifth, Reading the Old Testament is like watching Days of Our Lives sometimes. I cooked spicy shrimp for my companions this week and they were grateful. I've developed no tolerance for stealing whatsoever seeing as people have been stealing our clothes off our line and our mop off our back porch. Ugh. And I've developed a sincere disdain for Yanni because Sis. Wilkinson blares it every morning while she exercises in an effort to get me out of bed. If I never heard Yanni so long as I live it will suit me just fine.<br />
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Sixth, service has become a huge priority in our zone. We have a zone goal to serve someone everyday, even if its small. So far we helped an investigator Perry chop his yard with a machete and lawn mower, and we've been doing a mission prep class for Tasamo, the next kid from the branch to leave on a mission. It's been really good. Also, it has helped Sis. Speakman transition into a difficult area by keeping us busy even when we have no one to teach.<br />
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Seventh, Odain passed the sacrament yesterday like a champ. It was great. Andre resurfaced, called us Saturday night, came to church yesterday and we had an amazing lesson with him. He is working on quitting his job so he won't be around bad influences, after a video we watched yesterday he said he knows everything we're teaching is true, understands why its important and wants to follow it. He has no support at home whatsoever, but he's got a positive attitude and is working hard and wants to get baptized. Hopefully he'll start progressing again. In other investigator news, we taught a guy this week who told us his name was Ian for like days, only to then tell us he lied and that his name is Paul. That's an untrustworthy foot to start off on haha. Pres Clarke, the branch president, came teaching with us this week and it was so good! I wish he could come teaching with us every week - he busted out scriptures and testimony like a star. My respect for him skyrocketed. Last but not least, we're teaching a cool rich couple. During our first lesson, before we began the lady totally felt the Spirit... we were all talking, then she turned the tv down without us asking ... then we talked some more and she turned it off altogether. That was a cool experience.<br />
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Eighth, Pres. Hendricks was at our district meeting this week. We had to roleplay a first lesson with him as our investigator. That was totally intimidating, but we passed and he complimented us hardcore. That felt good.<br />
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Ninth, our RC's sister-in-law is crazy and has totally turned what was supposed to be a fun sports day on Saturday into a boot camp. She was gonna teach the girls netball, but literally made us run laps do stretches and exercises before we could play. It was insane. Now I know how to play netball, kinda. Just take basketball and make it kiddiwonkers so it doesn't make any sense and you've got netball. It's very bizarre, and I'm not looking forward to next Saturday.<br />
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Tenth, we hate weekly planning. So before we do it, we do a power dance - aka turn on Sons of Provo full blast and jump on our beds like children. It really helps us focus.<br />
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Eleventh, members carry around their scriptures and tracts and pass along cards here everywhere they go. It's awesome, it's like a spiritual first aid kid - just so they can share the gospel with someone if the opportunity presents itself. Holy faith builder. I was thinking about how praying for missionary opportunities but not being prepared if they come is faithless -- its like praying for rain, but not taking an umbrella with you when you leave the house.<br />
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Twelfth, we've noticed a crazy phenomenon here with people that we teach. When we're visiting them regularly, they have a light. They look happy, clean cut, and are fun to be around. When we stop meeting with them, either because they're not progressing or because they don't accept our visits anymore, and then we see them somewhere their countenance has completely changed. This has happened now with four of our investigators - Marlon, Chris, Courtney, and Gavaska. As soon as we stop meeting with them they let their hair get wild, go back to drinking or smoking or whatever, wear sloppy clothes ... they just look rugged and are rude and unhappy. It has been a really sad thing to witness, something that I can't even really explain. But it's a good example to me of people living off of borrowed light - rejecting the light of Christ when they have it and ending up losing the Spirit. I've seen it too much. I much prefer to see those who embrace it and their light gets even brighter.<br />
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Last but not least, today we're having a water gun fight with the Hopeton Elders. They're going down.<br />
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All the best and all my love,<br />
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Sister PayneAshleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-72042016917367662232011-03-23T18:47:00.000-07:002011-03-23T18:47:16.205-07:00whoa- lots of backlogged lettersHey Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
Allow me to update you about this week ...<br />
I have had some hard but good experiences this week. I have learned more about my own personal conversion, about the role of the Holy Ghost, about the necessity of the Atonement, the miracle of forgiveness, and the love of our Father and our Savior. I have grown a testimony of fasting and the spiritual power it invites into our lives. I have understood more about the promised blessings given to the righteous, and the knowledge that mortality is a gift granted to man to repent and change and progress. I've learned a lot about doing God's will - that that's our whole purpose - about how faith isn't really faith until it is tried and tested ... I have learned that grace is truly strength from on high. That has helped me to learn more the meaning of the scripture that "I Can do All Things through Christ".I have learned that when you have no one else to talk to, the Lord is always there. I am moving forward at this time like Nephi, being led by the Spirit not knowing beforehand the things that I should do. I am looking forward to talk to President Hendricks this week about some things that have been troubling me, and getting his help in doing exactly what the Lord wants me to do. Again, like Nephi, I know that God loves His children, so even though I do not know the meaning of all things, that's enough for me.<br />
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We have a new sister coming to Mandeville on Wednesday. She is from Georgia. She will be the new girl on campus. I'm sure she'll be great. The other sisters are staying in the Bahamas one more transfer. Crazy, right? <br />
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Our district leaders are staying the same, which is good. Elder Trumpet is a rockstar of a missionary. He's beyond awesome, and he's taught us a lot.<br />
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We had an investigator give us sparkling cider and candy this week. We think he doesn't understand our purpose.<br />
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We jointed a whole chicken and I cooked it fricassee style. Delicious.<br />
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Groundhog day came and went, and we didn't even know.<br />
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I can't drink soda anymore. It kills my stomach.<br />
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"If we're not reading the scriptures daily, our testimonies are growing thinner and our spirituality isn't increasing in depth." - Pres. Harold B Lee<br />
It is hard to keep the faith sometimes. In fact, Satan does everything in his power to get us to doubt and fear. But reading the scriptures really helps to increase our faith. When you see the blessings that have come to the faithful, or the penitent, or read of the power of God displayed throughout time you can't help but trust that if He can move mountains He can surely take care of little old me. We just need to let Him. If we try to do it all by ourselves, there's no possible way we can do it.<br />
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We ran into our old investigator Bobby. We might start teaching him again. Someone that is awesome that we've been teaching is Latonia - she's 12, the daughter of two recent converts, and she came to church Sunday. Rockin'.<br />
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Honestely I don't have a whole lot to write this week. But I'll end with a funny story that Brother Hosang in the branch shared about watching what you say!<br />
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There was a guy who had a very religious horse. To make the horse gallop the guy would have to say Praise the Lord and to get the horse to stop the guy would have to say Amen. One day the guy was out for a joy ride and the horse got out of control. It began galloping at full speed toward the edge of a cliff. The man frantically yelled STOP but the horse kept running. Finally the man remembered and shouted AMEN! The horse came to a halt right before going off the cliff. In a sigh of relief, the man put his hand to his forehead and exclaimed "Praise the Lord."<br />
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So watch what you say. ;)<br />
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I love you all. I really do. And I love the gospel. I love Jesus Christ. I will be forever grateful for this experience out here on my mission.<br />
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Until next time,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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***<br />
Salutations Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
I am very happy. In fact, every time I sit down to email home I get very happy because it causes me to reflect on the past week and how truly blessed I am. I'm grateful for that opportunity!<br />
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I'll start with the investigator update. 1) Shamika, ten years old, comes to church with a member, will be baptized this Saturday March 5th. Woohoo! We met with her non-member mom yesterday, who is fully supportive and will be a great future member herself. They are all very well fellowshipped and it's exciting to be able to help an adorable young girl start out on this road to eternal life. We are blessed! 2) Andre is re-set for baptism on March 12th. He is seemingly over Sis. Everette, but Pres. did call us to ensure how serious that is and how important it is to nix all of that talk immediately. Andre is doing well. He will be baptized. 3) Demetri is still on track for baptism on March 19th, and the family is still supportive (or so it seems). He will be a great future Priesthood holder and future missionary for Christ's church. 4) We are working with Chris, a valiant and stalwart young man who is 22, and has been to church 5-6 weeks in a row now. He believes what we teach and feels good about it. He asks great questions and isn't just swallowing the doctrine. He wants to get baptized but is struggling with smoking. We have a member who faced the exact same trial at the same age, and overcame it through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. With fellowship and encouragement Chris is going to progress excellently and will be getting baptized soon. 5) Marlon, our other investigator, is a punk and always ditches out on church. We're about to get supa' bold on the guy!<br />
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What else happened this week that was of note? Oh, I hit a dog. Yes, I hit a dog with the car. She was suicidal ... ran out in front of me at high speed in the middle of nowhere. I slammed on the brakes, she jumped up and ran away. Hopefully she's okay, but either way ... don't be suicidal, man! Sis. Everette ensure I felt sufficiently guilty about the whole ordeal. It wasn't my fault! Oh, and Jamaica had the first ever Jamaica Day on the 25th. All that meant was people dressed up in Jamaican flag colors and sang their national anthem. I found out that owning the apocrypha in this country is illegal, because people use it for witchcraft. Crazy, right? I did more handstands and cartwheels and I literally have a giant bruise on my thigh from some internal injury. I remember hurting that part of my leg in dance in 9th grade, and I literally think I aggravated an ancient injury. So great - I'm too young for these shenanigans. I've discovered a new pet peeve of mine - starting something that I cannot finish, either because I run out or time or I'm unable to complete it. Man, that drives me nutters. <br />
In the land of the deep but not profound, there are letters, but no e-mails.<br />
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Jamaica is in the Commerce, Illinois phase of the church I think. The trials are choking out some and only the most valiant remain. I think there is a sunrise on the horizon -- but it is always darkest before the dawn, right?<br />
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In the land of the deep but not profound, there is root beer, but no sprite.<br />
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I've been studying a lot about the Priesthood lately. After all, I intend to marry a Priesthood holder so it is important I understand their role and duties so I can support and encourage them, as well as keep them in line. So I encourage all of you Priesthood holders reading this to take the time to read some great things I came across:<br />
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the first is "Let Us Be Men" by Elder Christofferson - search that on LDS.org and watch the video as well as read the talk. That is the best place to start.<br />
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the second is Doctrine and Covenants section 121 ... those are good reminders for everyone - but especially the men of the Church.<br />
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the third is "He Trusts Us" by Stanley G Ellis. Did you ever realize that by God giving you the Priesthood He was signing over power of attorney to you? True story.<br />
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I've been led by the Spirit in many ways over the past couple weeks, and I'm realizing it more as time passes. I was led by the Spirit to change the content of a lesson, during the opening prayer in fact. It went beyond well. I've learned many lessons this week, as usual, on patience (Psalms 27:14) and on the blessings of tithing. I've also learned about how important it is to immediately heed spiritual promptings. Ignoring the Spirit can prove fatal, in both senses of the word. I believe the biggest lesson I've learned this week is WHY we're counseled to read our scriptures daily, pray daily, and go to church every week. Why is it so vital that we do these seemingly mundane things? Well 1) because they are prerequisites to obtaining and keeping the Spirit, as Elder Bednar explained it and 2) they are the only ways that we can keep a spiritual and eternal perspective amidst the noise of the world. Think about this -- honestly, ask yourself -- how many days last week did you ponder about eternity? How many days last week did you even think, for a second, about the eternal implications of your decisions? How many times last week did you earnestly seek and desire eternal life? If your answer is anything less than EVERY SINGLE DAY, you're in danger! I know, because I have seen the difference before my mission and on my mission. From constant study, teaching, and testifying it is impossible not to think about eternity at least once every day. That means that the likelihood of making bad decisions that will put our eternal life in jeopardy drastically decreases, because we are keeping our eyes on the prize. In fact, this isn't just a reccomendation from some silly sister missionary. It's a commandment!! D&C 84:43And I now give unto you a commandment to beware concerning yourselves, to give adiligent bheed to the words of eternal life. It is my commitment to each of you and myself to take some time every single day to reflect on eternity, your life and choices, and where you want to end up after this brief stint in mortality. The picture is big. It is huge. We've got to widen our scope in order to be happy. <br />
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I've also learned that I'm terrified of coming home and that time is going way too quickly, and that is because my relationship with the Lord wasn't very good before my mission, but not I feel like it's better than it ever has been and I'm afraid of losing that. I'm afraid of having to try to take the great things from the mission back into the crummy things on normal life and not let the dirt of the world stain me anymore. It will be a challenge, and I've got no choice but to face it with confidence in the Lord. He won't ever make anything impossible for us to do (1 cor 10:13; 1 Ne 3:7)<br />
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The Book of Mormon, the best west side story I've ever read, is amazing. We shouldn't ever let a day go by where we don't read from it at least one verse.<br />
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Finally, I have these big long thoughts about the curse placed on women but I don't think I have enough time to elaborate. I'll just put it this way... the curse placed on women during the fall was more than just pain in childbirth and all of that ... you know how Bella acts when Edward leaves? You know how girls like men get away with stupid things because we have a weird emotional attachment in us that keeps us coming back for more? Turns out God gave us that -- and for right reason too, because if we didn't have that emotional tie we wouldn't ever be with men because we're too different and have all these things to deal with that the concept would be undesirable. It's just like men - they wouldn't be with women if they didn't have the physical need to do so. Really though, I'm not being harsh. Just think about it. God really designed us to make it so we needed eachother - men for physical needs, women for emotional. But, women, listen up. As much as we hate that dependency (that we all have to some degree) ... if it's part of the curse, it'll be lifted in the eternities. Hence why polygamy could play into the game in exaltation, because the emotional sociality will not exist. Now how is that for mind blowing? Don't believe me? I've got the doctrine to back it up! <br />
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16Unto the awoman he said, I will greatly bmultiply thy csorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth dchildren; and thy desire shall be to thy ehusband, and he shall rule over thee.<br />
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I know, right?<br />
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Okay that's all I've got this week. Enjoy the pictures and stay tuned for awesomeness.<br />
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Walk Worthy,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
***<br />
Hey Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
the shift key on this keyboard stinks so my apologies for the lack of correct punctuation in this e-mail, but whatever. yesterday we had a zone p-day in negril, which meant no time to e-mail, hence the tuesday update. we had a lot of fun walking on the beach (unfortunately seeing topless old women, yikes) and eating a giant meal at kuyaba (shrimp wrapped in bacon is heavenly) and then playing a football game in the sand. we had to drive forever, and were totally exhausted but we had a good devotional that morning that brought the Spirit so it was totally worth it. <br />
how is this for a missionary anecdote? i brought three pairs of glasses out here, and all three have broken. what are the odds, man? I haven't even done anything to them to get them to break, they have all just fallen apart completely at random. the other night, my last and best pair broke right in half as i knelt down to pray. what gives? i superglued them back together which only lasted for a day, so they're my backup pair now that i can superglue in an emergency. thank goodness i have some contacts - exactly enough to last me to the end of my mission in fact. yeesh. here i thought i was overprepared. i can't wait to get lasik.<br />
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i am definitely joining choir when i get home. i just want to be able to sing all the time, and what better place to sing than in church eh?<br />
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ting is the most delicious drink here. we had some amazing jerk chicken last week. how will i survive without this food? i don't know if it'll be possible.<br />
my preach my gospel is falling apart. i guess that means it has gotten enough love. it may come back to arizona without a cover on it. for shame.<br />
i have another talk to advise the priesthood to read .. it is called "rise up o men of God" by gordon b hinckley. read it. love it. apply it.<br />
i pretty much feel like i'm not cutout to be a trainer. it has made me more obedient, but i'm still not where i should be in technicalities. i feel like i have no advice that helps, and training in a tripanionship is amazingly difficult because there are far too many opportunities to create contention or confusion. it a tripanionship, there's a possibility of being outnumbered. like "i think we should do this" but the other two say no -- in a companionship, that's an impossibility. also, in a companionship if you're annoyed with your companion you either confront it or keep silent. with three you end up talking smack about the one to the other to let out some steam, which just drives wedges. i'm struggling a bit, not so much with the work but with the living arrangement. i love my companions. i hate being in a tripanionship. and sometimes it is very difficult to do the work, even with someone you would get along with outside of missionary life, because when it comes to such an important task they can drive you crazy! i don't know. live and learn.<br />
i have become a master of dominoes. don't try to stop it.<br />
okay, now for the investigator update. chamieka was baptized on saturday night! wahoo! finally a baptism in mandeville! she was so scared and had a hard time with it, but it all worked out and she was confirmed on sunday. her mom came and supported her so that was great. demetri who is the other ten year old who has a baptism date is being fed stuff by his grandma, the less active member, about not being baptized. he went from being super excited and ready to telling us he wants to change his date, but he can't tell us why to then telling us that he has to know more about the gospel before he gets baptized. he knows more about the gospel than his grandma. we're facing extreme difficulty with this situation, and it has been a source of much frustration and anxiety for me everytime i think about it. we're proceeding prayerfully and leaving it in the Lord's hands. andre has a baptism date that is probably gonna be pushed back. he's ready but he doesn't think he's ready. we need to meet with his mom and get him a baptism interview. i really love this kid - he's a great guy and i can't wait to see him get baptized. i know he will, he's just in his own head too much. he's his own worst enemy. i know how that is. chris is still smokin' ganja, and we haven't been able to meet with him last week. he didn't come to church either. we're jumpin on it straightaway because that kid will make a great member very soon. and marlon ... well marlon is less effective and we'll be dropping him soon. so'go.<br />
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lessons that i've learned this week? too many to type. here's a few.<br />
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1 - enthusiasm means God in us. let that marinate in your head for a little bit and come to your own thoughts about it.<br />
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2 - i got extremely dehydrated and sick the other day. i realized that it is just like sin. youre out in the sun and not drinking any water because you feel totally fine and you're having a good time. but then you get back that night, settle in, get a throbbing migraine and nausea that rocks you to your core. with sin we're usually out in the world doing worldly things but not blatantly sinning so we think we're alright. but we're not staying nourished. and soon the sin rocks us to our core and we end up thinking "how did this happen?"<br />
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3 - the truman show, the movie, is like satan's plan for all of us. he seeks to make us miserable by creating a facade for us to live in where seemingly everything is easier but we really don't have our agency, and everything is fake. nothing in his plan is real. nothing in his plan lasts beyond mortality. but, the real plan, the Savior's, allows us our agency - which means that things will be hard and not everything will go peachy all the time, BUT what we attain will last and will be actual joy. that's why when we decide to choose the right, or to leave the big giant dome that satan has us trapped in, he goes to all lengths to try to stop us. but if we can just tell him good afternoon good evening and goodnight and go forward into the unknown knowing that the Lord will take care of us, then satan has no power over us anymore. cool, right?<br />
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4 - john 1:46 should be our invitation to anyone that is not of our faith or wonders why we believe and live the way we do.<br />
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5 - d&c 90:15. education is eternal.<br />
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6 - the testimony of the youth in the branch is awesome. fast and testimony meeting is so awesome here. i had the privilege of bearing my testimony and feeling the Spirit as i did. but even more than that, there is no lull here. no awkward pause or silences - rather people are racing up to the pulpit to bear their testimony. i wish that's how the meeting was across the world rather than "ehhh.... i'll go next time ....."<br />
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7 - we got to watch a ces fireside will l. tom perry sunday night. it was really good. he challenged the youth to rise to a new sense of commitment, to defend Christianity, and to have courage, boldness, desire and enthusiasm in sharing the gospel and bringing back those that are struggling. he mentioned how 233 out of 239 chapters in the book of mormon talk about the Savior. that hit me. ive been thinking a lot about it actually. no wonder it is the keystone of our religion. my favorite thing he said was that the only joy we'll ever find in our lives in through following Christ. i can testify of that. i have never felt greater peace in my life than the peace of knowing i am doing everything i can to follow His example. <br />
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my love for my life is overwhelming and indescribable. time is moving too quickly. even in the most difficult moments, i know there is a purpose for it and that makes me willing to submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.<br />
the church is true. Jesus Christ came to the earth, suffered for us so that we can be rid of feelings of shame and guilt... literally FREED us from the chains of this life. He is the Savior. He knows the way because He is the way. His gospel is the source of all happiness. i don't know where i'd be without that knowledge. we have a living prophet on the earth today that can guide us in the right path. (less than a month til general conference!)<br />
how blessed we are.<br />
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i love you all. til next time,<br />
sister payne<br />
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Wa'gwaan Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
Greetings from a very warm and beautiful Jamrock. We've had an eventful week, to say the least. Said events go as follows:<br />
After district meeting we ate at KFC. As we are eating we hear an insanely loud PSHHHHHHHHH noise coming from the kitchen. A gas cylinder had come loose or something. The workers start ducking, running out of the kitchen, and within seconds we all BOOK IT out of the KFC full speed. Imagine in your minds the sight of 7 missionaries bookin' it out the doors of a KFC in a panic, only to realize they fixed the problem, walk back in, and resume eating our fried chicken. RIDICULOUS, but hilarious. We're glad to be alive.<br />
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We got a boot on our car, for parking illegally in a place that was not marked. Apparently it was paid parking, but there was not a single sign that said it was. They told us it was "understood by the locals" ... incase you couldn't tell, we're not locals! So we were infuriated, pitched a fit, and ended up paying 2500JMD to get the boot off our car. Sis. Everette, who may be the only person with less tolerance for the government than myself, went on a tirade about Captain Moroni and standing up for our rights. But there's only so much we can do.<br />
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For lent I decided to give up quoting movies. It lasted a total of four days. DANGIT.<br />
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Last funny story of the week: I've been teaching this young kid in the Hopeton branch how to read twice a week. We call him Hulk. After Hulk's reading lesson, we were walking out of the Hopeton chapel and Sis. E and Sis. W were up to their usual childlike shenanigans trying to give eachother wet willies or something. To calm them down I was like: "Guys, guys ... calm down... last one to the car is a 7th day adventist." I take off running, they book it full speed, my skirt is falling down and my sandals about to come off, and with all the force of a linebacker Sis. W hip checks me hardcore. I start to fall, Sis. E is falling and grabs onto me for stability, only to find none and turf it hardcore in the grass, rollin', skirt flyin up and grass stains on her knees. I turn to check on her, and Sis. W triumphantly reaches the car. We laughed for days. It was a sight to see.<br />
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Now for the usual investigator update. Andre has to find a new job before he can be baptized. He basically produces pornography -- by that I mean he makes graphic designs for parties and stuff around the town, and usually these ads have 3/4 naked women on them. He looks at it all day everyday, and President said he's gotta have a change before he can be baptized. Add Chris, who has to quit smoking ganja and you've got two investigators with the insurmountable obstacles between them and the covenant of baptism. But the Lord is able to work miracles if they but exercise their faith in Him and allow Him to make their lives better. We're still teaching Demetri, and we had a very revelatory lesson with his family this week about how they don't feel fellowshipped and don't want Demetri to get baptized and abandoned. So the good news is we know the issue now. The bad news is they're postponing his baptism. The other good news is another guy living in his house wants to be taught. He came to church yesterday and we taught him the plan of salvation and the restoration all at once. He wants to get baptized the same time as Demetri, so now we're shooting for a double baptism April 9th. We also have this group of three guys who started meeting with us pretty much takin' us for a joke, but came to Friday night activity and had a devotional with them, came to sports night Saturday and church on Sunday. So who knows. They seem like cool guys, just party people. We'll keep our hopes high. The cutest thing ever this week was visiting Chamieka who had such an after-baptism glow. She wrote in her journal about her baptism and confirmation and it was adorable. She is so smart. He and her cousins all 10 and under have read to 2 Nephi already, and have retained what they've read. It's amazing! They're spiritual giants. And the best news? Chamieka's mom agreed to start taking the lessons, and told Chamieka she wants to get baptized. Rock on, right!?<br />
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Other highlights this week include Sister Murray, a blind member, giving a talk in Sacrament yesterday ... I'll never complain about having to give a talk ever again. Also, I've been complemented much this week that I'm a good storyteller. Now if only I could convert that into a career ... hmm ...<br />
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Alright, now for the lessons I've learned this week or at least the ones I have time to write about.<br />
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1st - whatever Christ touches lives. Whether it is a dead man, a leper, a sinner, a marriage, a family, an individual... He has the power to heal ANYTHING, if we let Him.<br />
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2nd - the hellfire and brimstone that is talked about in the scriptures is actually an inner, spiritual, mental, and emotional burning. I never could picture a loving Heavenly Father that would literally set His children on fire, no matter how awful they were in mortality, and yet most people believe that's what awaits them if they go to "hell". Hell is really being overwhelmed with shame, regret, and guilt. For anyone who has felt those things due to their sins, you know the intense pain that is. The miracle of the Atonement is it can lift that burden completely and take it away. It can put out the fire and repair the damage. BUT if we don't apply the Atonement, that pain is still with us and will remain with us after this life. I can't think of anything more hellish than that, quite frankly. Wickedness never was happiness, so it makes sense. I did more study about it as well. Very interesting - start with the scriptures MOSIAH 4:3 AND ALMA 29:5:<br />
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3And it came to pass that after they had spoken these words the Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy, having received a aremission of their sins, and having peace of bconscience, because of the exceeding cfaith which they had in Jesus Christ who should come, according to the dwords which king Benjamin had spoken unto them. (joy = peace of conscience)<br />
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5Yea, and I know that good and evil have come before all men; he that knoweth not good from evil is ablameless; but he that bknoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires, whether he desireth good or evil, life or death, joy or remorse of cconscience. (the opposite of joy is remorse of conscience)<br />
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3rd - the April Liahona is amazing. get it, read it and love it. the Atonement = <3<br />
4th - in something I read by Elder Holland, he talked about how forgiving others is the key to forgiveness. how hypocritical it is for us to plead to the Lord for mercy but not be willing to grant that same mercy and forgiveness to others. profound. no wonder how without charity we are nothing, eh?<br />
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5th - check your light status. The light of Christ is something you carried with you from premortality into mortality. What are you doing with it? Are you experiencing a blackout? Does your light need to be generated?<br />
6th - I sought to put my life in priority order this week. Elder Christofferson I believe it was said that we can align our wills with God's by stripping everything out of our lives and putting it back together in priority order with Christ at the center. You know me, the English teacher, so I made a concept web with Christ at the center, going out in layers or degrees putting my life together in priority order. I was giddy like a school girl over it. I wish I could scan it and e-mail it. I'm excited. I'm gonna frame it and put it somewhere I can always see it, so I never forget what my priorities should be. Cool.<br />
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That's about it for today. Here's looking at another great week. <br />
Love you all,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
***<br />
Hello Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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"There is no chance, no fate, no destiny that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” Quentin L. Cook<br />
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How is everything going? Did my email from two weeks ago go through (the week of March 8th)? I don't know sometimes if I write home about something but no one responds to what I wrote home about ... I assume it didn't go through but if it did and you're just slackers then I forgive you... ;)<br />
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I'll start by saying at any given moment, Sister Everette and I can be found singing "Say my Name" by Destiny's Child or that "what's my name" song by Rihanna. It's on a daily basis. It's a disease really. We started incorporating it into lessons, it's that bad. We have yet to find the cure. <br />
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Transfers are this week and everything is changing. We're getting a new zone leader, a new district leader, most of our zone is going somewhere else, and Sis. Speakman and Smith are coming back from Nassau and are going to be in Junction, which is in our zone. The good news? We're staying put. The bad news? I wanted to serve in Port Antonio and I'm about 90% positive that's not gonna happen. Whatever will be, will be. Time has been the weirdest thing ever. At times it crawls and in general it flies by. I was reading over old journal entries that were two months ago and feel like they were last week, and then some that were a year ago and seem like 20 years ago. It's hard to explain. But it teaches patience, and diligence, and appreciation for each day. I've been having recurring dreams that I'm in high school. I don't know what that is all about or why ... it's all in different circumstances, but usually entails me on campus in class or something then realizing that I graduated and I'm not supposed to be there. Very very strange at best.<br />
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Our companionship has been intense. Key word: tense. We're like three stubborn mules refusing to go anywhere unless its where we wanna go. Compromise has been difficult. There's a general feeling of annoyance and/or tension consistently there over the past week or so. We all get along and our personalities are similar and are pees in a pod when it comes to anything except missionary work. I have decided that I have to be the change that I want to see -- after all, I can only control myself so that is what I'm going to do.<br />
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Alright, teaching update. We had a lesson with Sis. Bodley this week, whose mother passed away. It was a great opportunity to bear testimony of the plan of salvation and provide some much needed comfort. We have family home evening with her and her grandsons every week, so we're going to go with her to her mother's funeral for support. Chamieka was doing really well, but I guess kids at school said some mean things to her and it has blown her self-esteem completely. She was writing "i hate myself" all over everything she owned, including her Book of Mormon. She won't really talk to us, or to her mom. She's shut down and has gotten very silent. If anyone knows about premature depression and drama and emotional issues, its me. So you think I'd be able to provide some insight to a moody ten year old, but I haven't been able to. We're gonna see her this week and try to do what we can to help build her individual worth and divine nature. If anyone feels so inclined to write a letter or send anything that they think might help her feel loved and beautiful, you've got six weeks. Demetri and his adopted uncle Odain are both doing well and were both at church and both have a baptism date scheduled for April 9th. Joking around we had asked in Sunday School if you had a a million US what's the first thing you'd buy ... Demetri said he'd pay 10% of his tithing first then he'd buy a house. He's ten. I know, right? Awesome. That helped his grandma to see that he is ready for baptism so she's gotten pretty supportive. Dane is this random guy we met who comes to a bunch of activities. He normally comes with a group of guys so we didn't really take him seriously, just thinkin' he wanted to have fun with some white girls BUT on Sunday his friends all worked and he came to church on his own. We had a good lesson with him and he's read all the tracts we've given him. He's fellowshipped extremely well and a charming guy. We are hoping we can meet with him more often and really get the lessons going seriously with him. Courtney Dunkley is this guy who randomly walked onto the church grounds wanting to repent. He's been at church everyday this last week, and we've taught him three lessons. We're committing him to baptism this week and he was at church on Sunday. He was prepared by the Lord, and though he has a lot of struggles we know that if he keeps working hard and relying on the Lord he can overcome them. Andre is still ... Andre. He's still in love with Sis. Everette and admits that he's motivated to do gospel stuff because of us not because of the Lord. Well then. I committed him to pray for more faith - and we're gonna have to drop him soon. Even though he keeps commitments, unless he agrees to be taught by the Elders there's not much else we can do for the kid if we're just distractions. Shame.<br />
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Here's a good experience I had this week. At the friday night activity we were playing dominoes in partnerships and my partner, Dane, was trash talking me that I didn't know how to play and was losing the game for us all this time right? Coming from a guy who basically plays the game every night. Ridiculous. I felt a little like Chamieka at that point like gee whiz, why is everyone picking on me I'm trying my best?! So, Pres Morrison in an act of charity told him to switch teams and that he'd play on my team. It literally felt like I was the geeky kid at school picked last for kickball, but picked first for football by the start quarterback. It's funny how people probably do little things they don't think much about, but it can really help someone. It was small, but Christlike and something I won't forget. <br />
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Alright now onto the lessons I learned this week:<br />
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When we take the sacrament we promise to always remember Christ. We need to be careful to not violate the covenant in the very meeting that we are making it (ie texting, facebooking on the cell phone, sleeping, talking during sacrament meeting) ... if we can't keep the promise for an hour how on earth could we do it for the rest of the week?<br />
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Because the Lord gives us revelation and answers when we're ready for it and on His timetable (3 Ne 17:2) it could take years to get answers. We must be patient.<br />
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Family Home Evening is key for a successful family. Start with prayer, then family inventory, a lesson, a prayer and an activity. Make it a priority. It is worth it.<br />
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The more grace you receive, or recognize rather, the more you must labor. The more you will want to labor, and the more you need to. Unto whom much is given much is required. This is why converts often make the best members, or people like Paul and Alma the Younger become forces of righteousness.<br />
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Love is innate. It is a quality inherited from our Father in Heaven. It is not something we earned but rather something given to us. Think -- a baby is born and has done nothing for anyone except come into existence and yet is loved instantaneously. Why? Because they are fresh from the presence of heaven, and that sparks something in us that was part of us in premortality. Love is so central to who we are and everything that we do. No wonder wars fought, novels written, movies made all over love! But the real love, not the counterfeit in the media, the real pure love of Christ which is inside of all of us is the one that we need to focus on. It will lead us.<br />
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Writing poetry is cathartic. I wrote two poems in two days. I'd share them, but I left them at home.<br />
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d&c 38:24 And let every man aesteem his brother as himself, and practise bvirtue and holiness before me.<br />
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25 And again I say unto you, let every man esteem his abrother as himself.<br />
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To esteem is to value -- it is not enough to merely treat others as we'd like to be treated... we must view them and value them as we value ourselves. We need to care about their happiness as we care about our own, their salvation as we care about our own ... That is the real golden rule that we need to live by -- the higher law.<br />
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d&c 50:40 Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot abear all things now; ye must bgrow in cgrace and in the knowledge of the truth.<br />
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john 16:12 I have yet many things to asay unto you, but ye cannot bbear them now.<br />
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BE PATIENT AND DILIGENT -- and as we grow, the Lord will lead us along and reveal more truth and give us more help. But we've gotta seek it.<br />
Last but not least, I read 1 cor 15 Saturday evening. Sunday morning there was a talk about the very thing I read. It talked about how in order to grow, a seed must die. Only after it dies, in the ground, can it sprout. We are the same. We are sent here, to live with God again, but we cannot live with God again unless we die. Death is a promotion - a stepping stone. Our birth was a form of death -- we fell into mortality, dying from our previous state but inheriting another. So it is with the life after this. It is a continuation, and death is a necessary part of our progression. I never saw it like that before and I'm grateful for an increase of understanding.<br />
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Well, I'll leave it at that. It is hot in this cafe and I'm ready to roll out of here. All the best. Less than two weeks until conference! WOOHOO!<br />
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The church is true!<br />
<3<br />
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Sister PayneAshleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-70098427684349841252011-02-22T20:08:00.000-08:002011-02-22T20:08:00.493-08:00"Never discourage anyone who continuall​y makes progress, no matter how slow." - PlatoHey Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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What to write this week -- what to write ... I prefer it if from now on when you check the emails I send (if this isn't the case already) that you have no expectations for anything, because honestly sometimes I log onto this here computer and think "gosh dang I've gotta do this again?! We teach, we study, we sleep, and repeat... what more is there to know?" But then I'm reminded of my purpose - to invite others to come unto Christ - and I think this weekly e-mail is a great opportunity to do that. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, but like all missionary work you do it not knowing if you'll ever see the fruits ... so'go...<br />
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We've been listening to a lot of Christian music, so I've been writing a lot of Christian music. MercyMe has some good jams -- and makin' a joyful noise for the Lord is always a good idea.<br />
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I've been growing out my leg hair. Seriously, I haven't shaved since the beginning of February. "OHMYGOSH SISTER PAYNE WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THAT?!" I'll tell you why - because this is the last opportunity I will ever have in my life to do that and it be socially acceptable. Yoink! Takin' it!<br />
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We're in desperate need of a golden investigator. Usually all the hard work is all worth it when you find that one golden investigator. We've got nothin' but bronze for quite sometime. We've finally got a couple silver. Workin' our way up.<br />
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Sis. Everette is hilarious. She is addicted to candy. Seriously, she buys it every day. Her love of chocolate gives Augustus Gloop a run for his money. Now she's suffering the consequences of not budgeting. We tried to warn her! Speaking of money and such, I'm buying two carved lions from the same guy that did my Bob Marley head today. One to go on each side. It's very rasta/lion of Judah/Jah of me, but what can I say... I'm cultured.<br />
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Sis. Wilkinson and I are trying our hardest not to get trunky. We recognize that we're on the downward slope of our mission, and the first 2/3 disappeared so we know the next six months will go even faster. Naturally our thoughts have led to going home, which has led to both of us having such anxiety it makes us sick. So now we're doing a thing where if anyone talks about going home, getting a job, or getting married, they get punched. So far so good.<br />
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How you wake up is how your day goes. This is a truth you can take to the bank. If I wake up miserable, mad that I have to get up, sleep in, resentful toward perky companions, the rest of the day I will retain that attitude and it's not pretty. But if I wake up on time, get out of bed and decide today will be fantastic, stick to the schedule and keep going, my day goes well despite what happens. So I'm really focusing on becoming a morning person, and for anyone who knows me you know that is like trying to get a pig to become a donkey. But this is one pig that is ready to ditch the trough.<br />
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Investigator update: Demetri is set for baptism March 19th. We're gonna try to bump it up a week. Andre is breaking my heart, because he knows the church is true, watched all The Work and the Glory movies and cried during all three, prays like a champion, has great intentions, but he's in love with Sis. Everette and he thinks if he doesn't marry her then there's no way he could stay strong in the gospel. It makes no sense, it's driving us cuckoo bananas, and we don't know what to do. This stupid dream that men have here of marrying white women is officially getting on my nerves. What he needs to do is get baptized, have the gift of the Holy Ghost to help him endure to the end, find a nice Jamaican honey and settle down in the branch. He's only 18 for goodness sakes! He needs to serve a mission! Anyway, we're not giving up. Mighty prayer is key! Shamika is ten years old, and will be getting baptized (hopefully) the first weekend in March. Her mom already consented but we need to meet with the mom and work with her a little more to ensure support for her daughter. And that's about it for now. We actually have 5 investigators at church yesterday - including Radcliffe who we've been working with FOREVER. That was a triumph of epic proportions. The work continues.<br />
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I finished the New Testament this week. Revelations is confusing and 1/2. <br />
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Sis. Everette's mom followed my blog before she came on her mission. It's the blog heard round the world, I tell ya. At least heard round the JKM world. Speaking of blogs, you can check out the Andersen's blog at jnffamily.blogspot.com -- they're like our parents away from our parents. We just love the heck out of them!<br />
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This week I've been working on praying and studying my patriarchal blessing to identify my weaknesses and my strengths. My weaknesses so that I can target them and do my part to fix them so the Lord can turn them into strengths, and my strengths so I can develop them and be sure that I'm using them for the Lord's purposes. It's been eye-opening, and continues to be challenging and rewarding for my own personal growth.<br />
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Alright, not much else to include before I get to pictures ... other than to say that my appreciation for the Atonement has grown drastically over the last couple weeks, to the point where I'm overwhelmed with gratitude and love for my Savior and my Father in Heaven. Now I'm just praying and working to retain those feeling throughout the rest of my life, so I don't fall into the trap of the pride cycle. I have also learned that it is so easy to sin, or to live in sin, because when you do Satan goes away. He's already got ya - so he doesn't even pay attention to you anymore, which gives you this false sense of security. Repenting is hard - turning from that and truly turning to righteousness isn't easy, because Satan and all his followers wake up to your change and commence a brutal attack on your soul. The greatest thing however is once you know that, you know that the Lord is always the one that triumphs and so if you just turn to Him, He'll carry you through any hardship you have to face. The momentary pleasure or happiness that comes from sin is NOTHING compared to the lasting sweetness and joy that comes from obedience. <br />
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Last but not least - forget ivy league colleges or volumes of literature, the temple is the BEST possible education. D&C 124: 23, 41. I can't wait to go back. And I've learned a huge lesson that success is perfectly affixed to how hard one works. The only thing up for debate is the definition of success. But real success is PERFECTLY affixed to how hard you work. That is a lesson I'm trying to implement in my life. <br />
Enjoy some pictures of me getting my hair colored and some delicious chicken I made. I hope all is well back home, because all is FANTASTIC here.<br />
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Walk Worthy,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYwKbhgtzxkRKUFbGbSVaoXvors6BBZXrG9m0bNrrDomVuwR6M7GUESH5wRdS1qhSeH51tMwzn-f2QXQ0r3-p9O9pTNbQ6f7eMdeZaV7slp-PAtXQnKeOIGafIcr4WhHt9Sz3dJplI4rYa/s1600/Hayley1.1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" j6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYwKbhgtzxkRKUFbGbSVaoXvors6BBZXrG9m0bNrrDomVuwR6M7GUESH5wRdS1qhSeH51tMwzn-f2QXQ0r3-p9O9pTNbQ6f7eMdeZaV7slp-PAtXQnKeOIGafIcr4WhHt9Sz3dJplI4rYa/s400/Hayley1.1.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji9YoUCErBoesfklcwj2rdKs2cLMUrm_UZuT9rLzehqNn1s5ov4TarxfWJKe_ssDAmk9v0cQVgstW8dlxq4MENbMIxekuk6Rz1cdUZKncrz0FEnd6budM4NtRoqlCBQWU742wdjbC3iqo0/s1600/Hayley+1.3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" j6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji9YoUCErBoesfklcwj2rdKs2cLMUrm_UZuT9rLzehqNn1s5ov4TarxfWJKe_ssDAmk9v0cQVgstW8dlxq4MENbMIxekuk6Rz1cdUZKncrz0FEnd6budM4NtRoqlCBQWU742wdjbC3iqo0/s400/Hayley+1.3.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-41329793712752319432011-02-06T12:07:00.000-08:002011-02-06T12:07:02.167-08:00Dear Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Romans 4:18 [Abraham] Who against hope believed in ahope, that he might become the father of many bnations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy cseed be.19And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years aold, neither yet the deadness of Sara’s womb 20He astaggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; 21And being fully persuaded that, what he had apromised, he was able also to perform.<br />
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Romans 5:3And not only so, but we glory in atribulations also: knowing that btribulation worketh cpatience; 4And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5And ahope maketh not ashamed; because the blove of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.<br />
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Romans 8: 24For we are saved by ahope: but hope that is bseen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?25But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.<br />
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Romans 15:4For whatsoever things were awritten aforetime were bwritten for our clearning, that we through dpatience and comfort of the escriptures might have fhope. 13Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and apeace in believing, that ye may abound in bhope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.<br />
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Ether 12:4Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with asurety bhope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which chope cometh of dfaith, maketh an eanchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in fgood works, being led to gglorify God.<br />
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Moroni 7: 41And what is it that ye shall ahope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have bhope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life ceternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.<br />
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This week was hope week - as in we focused on having hope throughout all of our missionary work. I have been filled with hope, like an empty glass is filled with water. Daily repentance and consecration leads to a fulfillment -- like when your room is filthy and you feel like you're in disarray, you can't find anything or feel comfortable. When you clean it you feel like you've inherited a new room. So it goes when we clean ourselves up and seek to improve on a daily basis -- we're like a brand new us. I realized that I didn't really get the whole ... hope thing. I studied it a little more. I wasn't really getting anything. Then, like a strike of revelation in the middle of zone conference, I had an overwhelming feeling ... of HOPE. I realized, and expounded to Sis Wilkinson, why I choose to follow Christ and endure and what keeps me here ... I realized why I'm a Mormon! ;) It is because of hope. The gospel of Jesus Christ gives me hope, and it is the only thing that gives me any consolation. The promises of the Lord, the scriptures, the ordinances of salvation -- all is centered around the hope that there is more to this life than making it through the rest of it. I have hope that I will live forever, and that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ I can have peace and happiness throughout anything I may encounter. I have hope that I can be with my family, throughout all eternity. The gospel is what gives me the ability to make it through trials, it gives me an eternal perspective that deepens my love and appreciation for the very life I lead. It gives purpose and direction to that life. I see hope in an 8 year old being baptized and showing God their commitment to follow Him throughout their life. I see hope in a young couple being sealed in the temple for time and all eternity, with the trust that God will fulfill to them the promises He has made - that they can be an eternal family, that though we don't understand everything, we have hope and faith in the Lord. I see hope in the gift of repentance, of grace made available through the Atonement, that no matter what we have done in our lives it can be made right through changing our hearts and boldly claiming the mercy of Jesus Christ through our own faithfulness and dedication. Anyway, this all started at zone conference in Sav La Mar. But it has weighed heavily on my mind all week. I looked forward to being able to write home ... that I know that the gospel is the only true source of hope and happiness in this world. Without it, there's no meaning. With it, there's meaning beyond comprehension. It is my hope that is my anchor, and I'm grateful to be serving a mission to help that anchor stay in place.<br />
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Quickly onto other scriptural insights:<br />
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I have learned, by study, prayer, and experience, that how we judge others is going to be directly reflected in how we are judged by the Savior. We will stand and give account for our own actions, and receive judgment according to the judgment we dished out in mortality.<br />
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Romans 1:1Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou ajudgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things. 2But we aare sure that the bjudgment of God is according to truth against them which commit such things.<br />
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Read this -- and think about the temple :)<br />
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Isa 22:20¶And it shall come to pass in that day, that I will acall my servant bEliakim the son of Hilkiah: 21And I will clothe him with thy robe, and strengthen him with thy girdle, and I will commit thy agovernment into his hand: and he shall be a father to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and to the house of Judah. 22And the akey of the house of David will I lay upon his shoulder; so he shall open, and none shall shut; and he shall shut, and none shall open. 23And I will fasten him as a anail in a sure place; and he shall be for a glorious throne to his father’s house. 24And they shall hang upon him all the glory of his father’s house, the offspring and the issue, all vessels of small quantity, from the vessels of cups, even to all the vessels of flagons.25In that day, saith the Lord of hosts, shall the nail that is fastened in the sure place be removed, and be cut down, and fall; and the burden that was upon it shall be cut off: for the Lord hath spoken it.<br />
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Living a life consecrated to the Lord allows us to receive personal revelation so that our lives are constantly in harmony with His will:<br />
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Proverbs 16:3aCommit thy works unto the Lord, and thy bthoughts shall be established.<br />
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Alright, other lessons I've learned this week and other happenings --<br />
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We shouldn't ever compare ourselves to anyone else, especially not on our spiritual journey. I have learned that when I compare myself to my companions or any other missionaries it only results in misery. I have learned that my life is completely different than theirs - or anyone else's for that matter. We can't look to the left or right or we'll lose sight of the road we're on. We are individuals and the Lord knows us as individuals ... so my salvation and progress is individual. I'm racing against myself and no one else.<br />
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It has taken a bit to adjust to teaching with a new companion, and doing everything else. It has been a good week for us though, getting used to the feel and instead of just going along doing things the way we used to do we're making adjustments where they need to be made and learning to compromise.<br />
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I'm working on focusing on the mission all the time, and like it says in my call letter "leaving behind all other personal affairs". It's liberating.<br />
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What else ...I had curry goat this week. And it was delicious.<br />
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The zone leaders and Elder Andersen came teaching with us on Friday. It was cool to have them with us to observe our lessons, seeing as we never really had the benefit of specialized training on a trade off or anything, being sisters and all. It helped to see different approaches to teaching, and specifically how to ask questions for understanding and how to be bold without being overbearing. It was a cool experience.<br />
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One of the senior missionaries has an Amazon Kindle. That thing is tight - I gotta get me one of those.<br />
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Pres. Hendricks hasn't missed a week of church since the 80s. He said that he had received personal revelation that very specifically told him - "He went to Gethsemane and the cross, for you. Never miss a Sunday." I've never been to church so consistently in my life as I have on my mission, but I've been studying how keeping the Sabbath day holy and going to church to take the sacrament is really a reflection of our commitment to worshiping the Lord. I've made the same commitment to myself - to never miss a Sunday as long as it is in my power to do so. I guess it's a lifetime resolution.<br />
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We had a Fireside lastnight where we turned the members into missionaries. It was rad. We had a good turnout - at least 12-15. One struggle here is all the members say that they've invited and referred everyone they know already - that they don't know anyone else that they could talk to about the gospel. I think we got em thinkin' about things a little differently lastnight, or at least gave them motivation to not give up.<br />
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We had district conference yesterday - a broadcast from SLC to all the stakes in the Caribbean. Pres Uchtdorf and Elder Oaks spoke, and it was amazingly inspired. It was SPOT ON - exactly what the members here needed to hear, about walking in greater faithfulness, choosing gospel culture if your local culture contradicts the teachings of the gospel, and much much more. I wish I had time to share everything that I wrote down. They did not mince words. They spoke with power and authority and the Spirit was strong even via satellite. I'll just share my favorite moments -- Elder Oaks challenged the members to attend sacrament meeting more faithfully - only 20-40% of members in the Caribbean are doing so. Hopefully it resonates. Pres. Uchtdorf talked about laboring diligently our entire life long for the conversion of ourselves and our brothers and sisters. That struck a chord in me. I'm learning more and more the importance of enduring to the end, and loving every minute of it.<br />
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Alright your commitment this week is to carry a little strength of youth pamphlet with you. No matter your age. Do it :)<br />
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When there's news about our investigators, I'll be sure to tell you. So far we're working with a 17 year old named Fiona who's totally awesome and actually prayed in a lesson for the first time last week, and read a scripture out loud for the first time. So that's awesome. She's humble and wicked cool. We're gonna commit her to baptism this week. Stay tuned.<br />
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Last but not least, while getting some ice cream with some investigators and reasoning out of the scriptures, one Mr. Jerry Curl waltzed right up to me and stared me down straight in the face and proceeded to say:<br />
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"I like you. You are beautiful. I would like to marry you. I would treat you so good. I will do your wash for you, every day. All of your clothes will always be clean. I will do it by hand. I would love to marry you. I'll be right back." From that point he went into the cook shop and started dancing, looking back at me like "all this could be yours" ... So goes the daily life of a Sister missionary in Jamrock.<br />
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All the best to everyone back home. Thank you for each and every prayer on my behalf.<br />
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I love you all!<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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Ps convert update in the Bahamas<br />
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Jean max and Prague are blessing and passing the sacrament, and Prague has been called to be a sunday school teacher in the creole class<br />
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and Bro Major was called to be an elders quorum teacher<br />
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OH YEAH! <br />
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Dear Family, Friends, and Fans -- <br />
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Alma 60:13 For the Lord suffereth the arighteous to be slain that his justice and bjudgment <br />
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may come upon the wicked; therefore ye need not suppose that the righteous are lost <br />
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because they are slain; but behold, they do enter into the rest of the Lord their God.<br />
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We just got back from Spanish Town where we attended the memorial service for Elder Walker. Thank you for your condolences and your prayers on behalf of us missionaries and his family. This has not been an easy week. We found out Monday night when we called a member to confirm teaching, and the news report came on and he held the cell phone up to the TV. After the weirdest night of my mission, we went back to work the next day. Elder Walker had three weeks left on his mission, and we've dedicated these three weeks to him as missionaries. The other seven Elders that were in the van with him are all doing well. They stayed at the mission home for a while, but there has been an overwhelming sense of peace and understanding even among those who saw everything happen. We got to hear a wonderful talk from Elder Luke, his companion. Even now just thinking about it I can't help but cry, but it was heartfelt and meaningful. I never had the privilege of serving around Elder Walker. I only met him at a district conference once in early December. He was Sister Wilkinson's district leader when she served in Portmore. He was attractive, smart, and had a bright future. He still does in fact. Pres. Hendricks spoke today at the memorial that Elder Walker has merely been transferred to his next area. I'm grateful for my testimony of the plan of salvation. It has been a hard week -- I imagine it's what it must feel like to have a fellow soldier die in the military. But even out of the worst things, good things happen. Elder Coleman of the 70 came on assignment from Pres. Monson. He and his wife very graciously thanked us for working hard, and gave wonderful talks at the service. It was a freak thing that happened. Elder Walker's mother just died about a month before him, which was very hard on him. Pres. Hendricks said he doesn't doubt that a very loving Heavenly Father brought His son home to be greeted by his mother on the other side of the veil. Anyway, a lot could be said and has been said about what happened. Every news report here was very sensationalized. At the end of the day, all that needs to be said is that Elder Walker was a faithful and devoted missionary, disciple of Christ, brother, friend, son, and will be missed by many. I don't feel any sense of fear here, anymore than I would anywhere else in the world. These things happen. It is part of mortality. I will tell you what I do feel.<br />
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I feel very blessed and very grateful for every minute of every day that I have to be alive on this beautiful earth. I am the MOST blessed person that has ever walked this planet, and I will swear it up and down until I'm blue in the face. I have nothing to complain about. The only bad parts of my life I only have myself to blame for them. Everything that God has and continues to do for me, in His infinite mercy and love, overwhelms me with gratitude. I am undeserving. I am blessed to be serving a mission for my Savior. I have reflected this week, time and time again, how thankful I am for this chance - this brilliant chance that I've been given to get my life on track, to gain an eternal perspective, to fix what was broken and improve, to meet and serve so many of my brothers and sisters in this beautiful country. I don't deserve it! I can't say it enough. I owe my Father in Heaven THE WORLD and more. My heart fills everytime I think about everything He has given me .. my family, my friends, music, talents, the gospel, love, laughter, the list goes on and on. I guess death is a blessing in that way - it wakes you up to a sense of how brief mortality is, and what a gift it is. <br />
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This scripture has been on my mind a lot this week.<br />
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Mosiah 4:11And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of his goodness and have atasted of his love, and have received a bremission of your sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own cnothingness, and his dgoodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of ehumility, fcalling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing gsteadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel.<br />
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As well as the hymn COME COME YE SAINTS:<br />
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And should we die before our journey's through - happy day all is well. We then are free from toil and sorrow too - with the just we shall dwell. But if our lives are spared again to see the saints their rest obtain, oh how we'll make this chorus swell - ALL IS WELL. ALL IS WELL. All is well.<br />
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Well, I will continue to update you as best I can to the rest of my week. We extended Fiona, a girl we've been working with a lot, a baptism date that she flat out shut down because she doesn't want to be baptized until she's in her 20s (she's 17). We will follow up with some talk about not procrastinating your repentance, and really just challenging her to decide what she wants and how much she wants to follow Christ. We'll see what happens with her. We had a great football (soccer) game on Saturday in the rain. I scored three goals against our district president, Pres. Morrison. He told me not to tell anyone and shame him like that, but I just had to. Really it was all luck, but maybe just maybe I'll look a little more like a legit footballer when I get home. I haven't had that much fun in a long time! <br />
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We had a great Sunday. Ricardo, an investigator we've been working with for a long time FINALLY made it out to church and he loved it and committed to attend every Sunday. We also got a referral for a little girl, Shamika, that comes with a member, who wants to get baptized so we'll be teaching her this week. She had a dream that she went to the temple and the people inside were calling out to her to "come home" ... now that's intense. We can't wait to teach her. Also Sis. Bodley, one of our star members, brought her neighbors Dale and Sandine Downey to church with her and we'll be meeting with them this week. They are very bright, brother and sister, college students, and really interested in the gospel. Things are lookin' up in Mandeville. Best of all - our retention was 3/4 - meaning 3 out of 4 of our recent converts were at church! That's the best in the mission right now I think, highest percentage. That is really exciting because it's been at 0 or 1 for at least 6 months!<br />
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Sis Wilkinson almost blew up our gas stove consequently blowing us up along with it but didn't and instead just singed off her arm hair. Crisis averted, and banana bread successful.<br />
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Your patois (patwa) lesson of the week is "mi yute!" as in my youth, as in you would say in place of the American "kid" ... so you're talkin to your friend "wa'gwaan mi yute" ...<br />
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I don't have time to go into the details but this week I've really been seeking personal testimony of the Book of Mormon. In my search I've learned so much, about how we receive revelation and how to recognize the Spirit. I've also gained a stronger confirmation and witness of the reality of Jesus Christ - His divine mission - His atonement - and His gospel. I know He lives. I know He suffered for our pains, sicknesses, weaknesses, afflictions and sins. I know He loves each and every one of us. I know that He was resurrected, and that like Paul said His gospel is the power of God unto salvation.<br />
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Your commitment is to have personal prayer at least twice a day. I cannot say how much personal prayer has helped me while on my mission. It has been one of those "Why haven't I been doing this ALL THE TIME?!" experiences. Put more effort into your prayers. Pray more frequently. Don't have an empty session on your knees. Make it a conversation and sit back and feel God's love pour out. <br />
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I'll end with three thoughts:<br />
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1) I challenge all of us, myself included, to take more seriously the commandment to keep the Sabbath day holy. Reflect on what entertainment you seek on Sunday, how you dress throughout the day, and your church attendance. This has been a running theme in my mission and one I've thought about quite a bit and continue to learn about. I've set some goals for the rest of my life as I've learned more about why we have the commandment in the first place.<br />
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2) Something common here is "scamming" - a group of young punks get US phone numbers and call and tell people they've won something but they need to send some money to Jamaica and they'll get it. I don't know why people fall for this. I guess some people threaten them and say they know where they live and their family and will kill them and all this garbage. Bottom line - don't give any money to random Jamaicans on your phone, and if you do get such a scamming call report it to the FBI or something.<br />
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and 3) Here are two scriptures that HIT ME like a ton of bricks this week. I haven't been able to get them out of my mind. They resonated with me, like they were from my own heart. Some things you just can't put into words. So I'll just put the scriptures and let you ponder about them your own dang self ;)<br />
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Alma 10:<br />
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5 Nevertheless, after all this, I never have known much of the ways of the Lord, and his amysteries and marvelous power. I said I never had known much of these things; but behold, I mistake, for I have seen much of his mysteries and his marvelous power; yea, even in the preservation of the lives of this people.<br />
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6 Nevertheless, I did harden my heart, for I was acalled many times and I would not bhear; therefore I knew concerning these things, yet I would not know; therefore I went on rebelling cagainst God, in the wickedness of my heart [...]<br />
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Alma 5:<br />
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7 Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God. Behold, they were in the midst of darkness; nevertheless, their souls were illuminated by the light of the everlasting word [...]<br />
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That's all for now folks. I'm off to have an awesome week.<br />
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Love you all,<br />
Sister Payne<br />
PS <br />
Enjoy the pics from today. From the memorial - us with Elder Larsen (from Gilbert AZ) who hooked us up with awesome shades - and us in front of the new mission office. <br />
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Hey mi Fam, Fren, & Fan dem --<br />
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Wa'gwaan? I'm going to start off with a question:<br />
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How have you been blessed by keeping the Sabbath day holy? I genuinely want answers. ;)<br />
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Your patwa word of the week: maga. The literal translation is meager ... it is what you call skinny people. It's what they used to call me, until I packed on 15 lbs of curry and rice&peas.<br />
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I'll go into some other good news. I found out Elder Forde is 28 years old. He was a recent convert from Linstead. He left literally the last possible day he could leave. Now with him, and Elder Kocherhans, I'm the third oldest missionary. <br />
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A sacrament meeting was held at the home of Brother James (the 99 year old) in Lucea. He's a rockstar. 17 people showed up! What on earth?! That is a MIRACLE. There's no words for how excited I was when I found that out. That would be the only positive thing about being transferred to Montego Bay - Lucea would be part of my area so we would legally be able to go visit members there. The other sisters are coming back from Nassau next week, and a new sister from Georgia is coming out here. That means there will be a tripanionship somewhere, all the sisters will be in Jamrock, and there's probably going to be another area with sisters besides MoBay and Mandeville. Our guess is Portmore, since Sis. W served there and the Jamaican sisters did too. That place is a furnace - wicked hot - but hey, all in the spirit of adventure, right? <br />
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I'm getting better at doing my wash by hand. I got white paint on a black skirt. It's gonzo. That's how I roll. I can wear that skirt again. We got a recent convert, Sister Britton, who was totally inactive, to come back to church. Two weeks in a row now, her and Patrick (both recent converts who were inactive) have been at church. She is now doing our wash every Monday, and cleaning our apartment, for $5000JMD each month ... which means we get REAL P-DAYS! WOOHOO! Right now Kanye West's "stronger" is playing in the internet cafe ... what doesn't kill me makes me stronger indeed. <br />
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Sis. W and I see things differently sometimes, with the work. It creates silent tension on rare occasion - but we've both learned well enough how to get over things quickly and move on. So no fights have ensued.<br />
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We had a very slow week investigator wise. We're teaching a kid Andre, who I feel is very elect. He was put in our path for a reason. Our story in meeting him is just too bizarre and random to be anything other than the work of the Lord, for true. He came to a baptismal service in Hopeton this last week and we had a GREAT lesson with him. He called us and said he prayed about Joseph Smith and feels great about it. We have high hopes for him. We can only meet with him once a week though, which is stressing us out, and he lives in the middle of nowhere so church is difficult. We shall see. We had a commitment to talk to everyone we passed yesterday. It was hard! Both Sis W and I struggle with anxiety, fear of talking to strangers, fear of rejection. We just shut down on the street sometimes. But the goal worked, and so it has been put in place for this entire week now.<br />
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We have 2-3 check-in calls with the zone leaders each week. Each one of these calls turns into a talk about the 3 Ms .. no, not missionary work ... music, movies, and marriage. I don't know why that is, but it is the truth. Apparently those are the top three things on Elders minds, haha. We had dinner with the Powells this week, a great member family. They fed us a literal feast ... ham, chicken, steak, potato salad, veggies, rice and peas, plantain, punch, ice cream, and rolls. It was insanity, it felt like Thanksgiving. It's good to be in Mandeville. <br />
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Horrible experience this week with Gavaska, our favorite 7th Day Adventist. Let's just put it this way. His heart is harder than stone. We had a very heated, emotional encounter that involved us bearing testimony and him telling us we're serving the devil and we're brainwashed and deceived and basically trying to blatantly and brutally destroy everything that we hold most dear to us. It was not pleasant. In fact, it ended with us telling him we could not visit with him again unless he wanted to really learn for himself. He refused to read the Book of Mormon or pray about it or attend church which was basically our cue to go. Sis. Wilkinson took away his Book of Mormon. We've never done that before. I still don't know how I feel about it, but I don't judge her. It was a very ... pearls before swine situation. Glad it's over with, but sad. He is a very lost man - who held the truth in his hands, and refused to even look at it. 2 Timothy 4:16.<br />
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Now onto the insights for the week:<br />
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Vicarious work in the temples is such a blessing. There has been many times where I've thought "I wish I could be baptized again" since I've been on my mission. I realized, for the first time, that is part of why the Lord gave us the work to do in the temples! It's not just for the salvation of others, but for us as well ... to remind us, to almost renew those covenants we make each time ... What a blessing that is! I understand differently how they cannot be saved without us, nor us without them.<br />
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I have been working on repenting for everything I've ever done wrong in my life. My is that a list ... things that I'd forgotten about, things that seemed minor, things that I didn't really understand at the time ... anything that could keep me from feeling the influence of the Spirit. One of those things has been trying to forgive others ... forgive everyone and anyone that has ever wronged me. It is still a work in progress, but I had a cool experience with that. I had a dream, that someone who I've had an extreme dislike for since 2005, was my missionary companion. Now despite him being male and that being impossible, so the dream went. We were involved in a crisis - men shooting, the government coming to our aid, buildings falling.. it was absolutely terrifying. We made it out alright, and hugged eachother with sincere joy to see that the other was okay. We thanked eachother, wished eachother well, and went our separate ways. My dreams have been educational lately -- I think it's cause I'm back in Jamaica, homeland of visions and dreams ;)<br />
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What else ... I've been studying more about repentance and how the fear of sin indicates repentance has taken place ... Alma 27:23 -- 2 Nephi 4:31<br />
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Also a very cool connection I found in personal study that the Spirit helped me out with regarding faith, the Refiner's fire, and conversion. Follow it ... Proverbs 25:4 -- Alma 5:14 --1 Peter :7 -- 3 Nephi 20:41.<br />
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Also, a couple e-mails ago I talked a lot about hope. I've learned more and more about how real hope is only found in Jesus Christ, His Atonement, and His gospel. I found the key to having hope this week ... Ether 12:9.<br />
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Alright, last but not least I've learned how testimony and conversion comes in layers. I don't have enough room to type everything that I've learned about that in the last ten months (today is my ten month mark) but I've had another personal learning experience with that recently. I gained another layer in my testimony, which pushed out doubt and replaced it with faith. It's a beautiful thing.<br />
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Well, fast sunday is next week so all you church goers my commitment to you is to bear your testimony in Sacrament meeting then e-mail me your testimony as well! DO IT. BE COOL.<br />
All you non church goers, by commitment for you is to fast! Fast for a purpose, for a reason, and seek to get the Spirit and I know it will come.<br />
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No new pictures this week, sorry. But lots of love to make up for it.<br />
<3<br />
Sister PayneAshleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-30851805464855229452011-01-11T18:57:00.001-08:002011-01-11T18:57:40.403-08:00Hey Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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I won't lie. I'm getting e-mail-itis about writing home these days. I will try my best to keep this interesting and informative but sometimes, I'm just tired.<br />
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Where to start -- this week I learned how to play dominoes the real way, not just the line em up and knock em down way. I was taught by Kristopher, one of our LA members and his little brother Torrie who straight up has Vulcan ears (don't worry I'll get a picture soon). They're awesome kids and we have FHE with them and their grandmother, Sis. Bodley, every Monday night. It's a highlight of our week. I ranted for at least an hour this week about Comic Con and Dr. Who to Sis W. I have now converted both my companions to wanting to attend Comic Con. I'm persuasive about things I love. We did our laundry last week at a laundromat which was expensive but worth it for the break on our hands. While reading about what apparently seem like zombies (Matt 8:28) then possessing swine in Matthew, I did an impression of possessed swine throwing themselves off a cliff into water. It was during a lesson - Sis W. was about to pee her pants. It probably wasn't the most spiritual lesson we've had. Okay it definitely wasn't. But it was hilarious all the same. I made a meal plan because we're low on funds this month, so that made me feel organized. I had to take a bucket shower, so that was awesome. I've had two giant blisters, one on each big toe, for two weeks now. They're finally healing and itch like crazy, so that's awesome. What else ... oh, I played football (euro) against some Jamaicans on Saturday for a branch activity. I have decided a couple things ... 1) if I was in shape, I could be pretty good at that game if I practiced and 2) the best way to stay in shape in my life will be to play sports, and I'm gonna take up soccer when I get home on an intramural team. Who's with me? I learned how to do a rainbow kick (not very well, I'm practicing) and some fundamentals. We got destroyed, but we had fun anyway. We got a less active to come out and play too. His name is Patrick. He's a recent convert whose marriage has seen better days. He's struggling with a lot so we're working very hard to get him back out to church.<br />
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If you're interested in looking up some history about the Church in Jamaica, featuring Mandeville check out<br />
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www.crockettclan.org/wws/jamaica.html or google Victor Nugent.<br />
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Some scriptures I enjoyed this week were <br />
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Psalm 84:10For a day in thy courts is better than aa thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.<br />
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Want a laugh? Check out Proverbs 5:18-19. Hey, I didn't say it - the bible did.<br />
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On a serious note though, check out Numbers 15:37-40 and Mosiah 13:30-32. Think about the temple and just ponder for awhile. Some cool mini-revelations hit me I guess.<br />
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Alright what else what else -- I love cooking. I bought a Jamaican cookbook so I can treat you all when I get home (as best I can, no promises). Who knew I'd love cooking, right?<br />
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We've been teaching an awesome guy named Radcliffe, a referral from Sis. Morrison. The guy is amazing. He's smart and has got some weird ideas about things but totally willing to listen and has a strong desire to learn the truth and align his life with God's will. Hopefully things continue to go well with him, we should be seeing him again tomorrow. He can only meet during his breakfast hour (he drives taxi) but that's okay cause he buys us fritters during our lessons! <br />
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What else? Elder Tuai was transferred and we have a new district leader, Elder Trumpet. Um ... I bought a giant Bob Marley head (see photo) for basically no reason other than because I could. We had an amazing lesson with a LA Sis Goljar and her son Rhuel. We watched "The Lamb of God" and the Spirit was so strong. That family has been through a lot in the past year and their love and adoration for Jesus Christ is inspiring. I really hope to see them bounce back and move forward. <br />
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Your patois lesson of the week is:<br />
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real bad men nah mogel innah shahts<br />
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straight jeans cutoff foot pants<br />
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errybody haffa ask wheya get dem clarks<br />
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That is a song by Vybz Kartel. My favorite Jamaican song actually. It's about shoes. It basically means - a real man doesn't wear shorts ... he wears straight jeans that are cutoff mid calf -- with Clarks. lol.<br />
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I got my awesome Christmas packages this week. I felt loved, blessed, and spoiled. Thank you thank you thank you.<br />
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I shall end this email (sorry it wasn't much) with a "you had to be there" story. Two Sundays ago we're standing outside church teaching the Morrison boys how to play Ninja. The littlest one, Blake Hart Mosiah, is 4. He comes out of the building with a large pair of undies in his hand. He hands them to Sis Morrison, and everyone kinda chuckles like .. I guess he was tired of wearing them. She's holding them for a minute and then we see a giant skid mark on the back of it the size of my fist. Sis Morrison's holding them up, looking right at it - doesn't see it - and we all start cracking up. She's like .. "what?" Folds them up, keeps them in her hand. Her husband tells her to look again ... and says "Jackie your worse dan de pickeys dem" ... she sees it, sheepishly starts laughing, throws them in their van and quickly walks into the church going ... "I need to wash my hands..."<br />
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That's your "you had to be there" story of the week. Hope all is well. Enjoy the pictures. <br />
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All the love from Jamaica!<br />
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<3<br />
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Sister PayneAshleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-91714513102869280592010-12-28T09:58:00.000-08:002010-12-28T09:58:37.678-08:00Some letters from Sister Payne.Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Don't save it all for Christmas day! ;)<br />
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Sorry to write so late -- today has been far from relaxing. Our brakes were shot on our car so we had to get them fixed. Plus our washing machine doesn't work so we've been washing all of our clothes by hand. That takes hours. Add on cleaning ourselves and our apartment and eating food and we barely have time to sit here and e-mail right now. We're leaving directly to go to an appointment after this. Tiring! If you're not tired, you're not doin' it right - that's what I say. We're listening to Barcelona destroy Real Madrid. That's just embarrassing. <br />
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To start with a mini Nassau update, courtesy of Sis Smith -- Brother Major set his baptism date for December 18th. Stay tuned for the hoots and hollers all the way from Jamaica if that one goes through. <br />
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Your patois lesson of the day is "mi naah lef mi gal dem" which means I didn't leave my girls. Also mi no no is I don't know. And mi naah go de'dea is I'm not going there.<br />
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Random updates include my allergies flaring up like the devil since I've been here. Today hasn't been so bad. I'm glad I invested in some medication before I came out here. It's bein' put to some good use. We've been very creative in our cooking. I made some homemade chili lastnight for some chili and spaghetti. I also ate saltfish for the first time ... and I've learned how to make dumplings (or spinners) with delicious soups. I'm gonna come home a Caribbean chef. I've been asked a lot of questions about our living conditions - we have hot water, we don't have A/C ... nowhere does in Jamaica, but we don't need it. It actually got COLD lastnight! That's why Manchester is the best parish on the island. <br />
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Our district leaders on Elder Tuai from CA and Elder Forde from Linstead Jamaica. We had district conference this last weekend in MayPen -- and Bro. Courtney Morrison from our branch was called to be the new district president. He and his family are the coolest people ever - and now the entire district presidency is from our branch. We are small but strong! I also got to meet Elder Kraus this week, who read my blog before he came out here, and Elder Kocherhans who I talked with on MySpace before I came out here. He reported May 12th, when I was originally supposed to report. Cool kid. He got a guitar! Pres. Hendricks gave him the okay to get one -- so I'm thinkin' for Christmas I may need to buy me a harmonica (after all I already know guitar and have plenty at home -- why not pickup somethin' else while I'm out here!?) I have also met Bro. Vaughn White in our branch who just got back from serving a mission in Phoenix AZ! Cool, right? We bonded. District conference was excellent. Such good messages - so many insights I can't type them all in 20 minutes. Pres. Hendricks talked about his experiences being called as a bishop at age 27. Now that's just crazy! He also gave an excellent talk about choosing to act on faith. And Bro. Kevin Brown gave a talk about Enos and the mighty change of heart that we all need to experience. Also very very excellent. It left me feeling very ... I'll go where you want me to go ... :) <br />
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Alright everyone wants to know about Thanksgiving. It was fun. We handed out turkey sandwiches to needy people on the street and taught some families lessons about why we have the holiday and what we are grateful for this year. We had some chicken and black olives and stuffing for dinner. I can't complain. I read "The Divine Gift of Gratitude" by Pres Monson and spent some time telling my Heavenly Father all the things I'm grateful for. One of the better thanksgivings I've had, that's for sure. If only we coulda played some football, it woulda been excellent!! :)<br />
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Allow me to end with some insights:<br />
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Check your brakes. Don't wait until the brake pads are totally gone and its metal to metal to get a tune up ... and I'm not talking about your car. By the time the brakes go out, it's too late. Think about it.<br />
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We need to work for our prayers. We can pray all day long for the Lord to light the stove but if we have the gas and the match we've gotta strike it up and light it ourselves. I think far too often we pray real hard for stuff, but we don't do anything to accomplish it and get it done ourselves. I've been writing my prayer for the day in my planner and then trying to decide what I can do that day to get an answer to that prayer. It has been a cool experience.<br />
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We're teaching three really awesome gentleman. So I will be praying, and working, to get them to come to church on Sunday! :)<br />
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I learned from Sis Smith how to be organized. I am learning from Sis Wilkinson how to WORK!<br />
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I have realized that the bulk of my life I made choices based on others' morality. I would go as low as someone who I thought was high would go. This resulted in me making a lot of poor decisions because "so and so said so" or "so and so did it." How glad I am to have realized the stupidity of that. I've even seen it on my mission. 6:30 the alarm goes off - I'm up ... my companion isn't... I get back into bed. Why not just stay up?! I will go as low as someone else. Well, not anymore. I'm stayin' high and I'm stayin' up regardless of someone around me. How can I pull people up if I'm always pullin' myself down?<br />
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Last but not least, your commitment this week -- give up your favorite sin. You know, the one that you love just too much to let go. The one that you don't want to face - you try to ignore and pretend that the Lord doesn't see what you're doing - the one that you rationalize and tell yourself it doesn't do any harm... GIVE IT UP. And I will too. And we'll both be blessed for it.<br />
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That's all I've got. Take care and enjoy the end of the month. Do your home and visiting teaching! ;)<br />
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Lata,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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We bought a shower curtain this week - a clear vinyl one - and decorated it with permanent marker. It is basically the coolest thing ever. I'll send pictures when/if I get a chance. <br />
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Wa'gwaan Family, Friends, and Fans -- <br />
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I've said it before and I'll say it again. TRIALS ARE AWESOME. Every time in my life where I have experienced the most growth, learned the most lessons -- it has come from adversity. What a blessing our trials can be if we let them. Don't get me wrong, it sucks. I mean, the trials we bring on ourselves are the worst possible ones. Heartache and misery abound, but the darker the dark the lighter the light that comes from coming over the hill once again. Mortality rocks.<br />
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This week has been really really really really really (did I mention really) interesting! First the Andersons found us some Grace Hot Pepper Sauce that is like a mix of Tobasco and hot wing sauce. It is amazing for your mouth and terror for your gut, but we've almost down the entire bottle in a week. Probably not good for my stomach lining, but my taste buds appreciate it. Second Elder Anderson makes the most amazing chocolate cake with homemade frosting. I don't even like cake people, and I eat that stuff like its going out of style. In non-food-related news, I have decided that I want to take up some sort of athletic thing when I get home to balance out my love of food so I don't turn into a giant piece of lard. I'd like to be healthy enough to continue to enjoy food, and I think that will require exercise. But that exercise needs to be fun so I am left with sports! Also I had a dream the other night that Corey Feldman died, and that every TV station was honoring him by playing a bunch of music videos his band made starring him and his wife. It was awful, in many many ways.<br />
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In church related news, I have decided that after my mission I could never hear a talk in sacrament that is just read --- ever again. I am also still not used to the noise factor in family wards. You would think, and yet I am not. Singles branches are the bomb dot come -- no wonder so many of my peers dodge marriage. Just kidding, quit dodging marriage you guys! Which leads me to the other question though, why do so many of my peers rush into marriage? Do you WANT to have a kid slobber all over your sacrament cups while another kid pokes your back and another is crying? It is hard enough to recognize that still small voice, man! Don't be in a rush to make it harder!<br />
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That leads me to your commitment for this week. ALL OF YOU READING THIS -- HALT -- ORDER THE ENSIGN FOR THE NEW YEAR. Get it, every month. Read it. Cherish it. DO IT. Be cool.<br />
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Alright alright, into missionary work stuff I guess. This week we had an institute party at the church and Sis. Wilkinson and I dressed up like Elders and lip synched and did some choreography to "Diddly Wack Mack Mormon Daddy". It was well received, I think. They looked puzzle while we did it but then amazed that there was a Mormon rap on my I pod. Who knows. We have some new investigators -- Fiona is 17 and doesn't attend any church because she's confused about all of them. She is receptive, and was a street contact who I felt like giving a Book of Mormon to and accepted a return appointment. We've taught her the first lesson. She didn't make it out to church, but she is reading and praying so we will see what happens. Ricardo was a potential investigator whose number was left behind from like, 2008. He just lost his grandmother and she told him to stay in church. He had "backslid" but said he's been thinking a lot about going back to church, but doesn't know which one to go to. He said when we called him he didn't know who we were but felt like God must have led us to calling him. Then we've got Leon. He's 20 and homeless. Super smart and humble but struggling with life right now and very willing to learn. We have struggles to overcome with each of them but hopefully good things will happen.<br />
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Now ... about Gavaska. Gavaska is a 7th day Adventist who has very very very strong beliefs against our church, and yet refuses to read any of the material we give him. One day last week he found one of our tracts on the street and picked it up and took it home (didn't read it though, preferred to stay in ignorance I suppose). Then the next day he was walking again and found one of our pass along cards on the street in the exact same spot. He called us and said that God must be directing him to us. However, he feels like God directed him to us to bring US the truth about the Sabbath. Yeah, its frustrating. He used to meet with other sisters and we found his old teaching record. He was SDA then, but it said he read from the BOM and prayed and said he had a testimony but for whatever reason they dropped him (it didn't say why). That was three years ago. Fast forward to today, and that is not the person we're meeting with. He tried to bash with us, but I bore testimony like Ammon up in his face. I actually felt like a missionary that day, so that was really cool. He agreed to come to church, but only if we visited his. So Saturday we proceeded to go to Sabbath School and Divine Services at SDA Mandeville (aka the great and spacious building). THAT was an experience. The pastor taught how Christ's birth, ministry, and resurrection do not save us -- it is only His death that saves us. That was a shame. There was a whole heap of other false doctrine and what not, but the good that came out of it was Gavaska coming to church on Sunday. We had a great lesson about the stone cut out of the mountain. He took notes. He asked questions -- our members did very well at fellowshipping him and at the same time teaching him the truth. He didn't want to hear it, and he left after church. But he called us this morning and wants to meet with us again. By far one of the most intriguing investigators we've ever had. If he won't take a Book of Mormon tomorrow, we're not gonna meet with him anymore. But I pray his heart will be softened just enough to actually listen to us teach instead of argue start to finish. <br />
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Bobby, our progressing investigator, has started living the word of wisdom and is already recognizing the blessings from it. He didn't come to church though, argh! We gave him a baptism date to pray about. Oh, and the Morrisons in our branch are some of the coolest people I've ever met in my whole life. They've become good friends of ours. A very strong family, sealed in the temple ... I wish I could bring them back to Arizona with me. Sis Morrison came to the 7th day church with us even. They are hilarious, and generous, and so strong in the gospel. Bro. Morrison found a Book of Mormon in a closet randomly years ago, and the rest is history. He is the new district president in Mandeville.<br />
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Well, the Lord is my #1 focus. I am trying my hardest to be as close to Him and as obedient as possible. I am trying to extra careful about where my focus and my thoughts head...<br />
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3 Nephi 13:<br />
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22The alight of the body is the beye; if, therefore, thine eye be csingle, thy whole body shall be full of light. UAdd a Note <br />
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23But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If, therefore, the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!<br />
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D&C 50:29And if ye are apurified and cleansed from all bsin, ye shall cask whatsoever you will in the name of Jesus and it shall be done. COULD YOU IMAGINE THAT? Man.<br />
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I have been spending a lot of time this week during study and outside of study getting to know myself better. Ya know, pulling a Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride. What kind of eggs do I like and all that. It has been hard being completely honest with myself about who I am, but it has been refreshing to get a better sense of my values and my goals -- what I want out of life and where I really stand. I think learning and understanding those things will help me in the future to recognize when I am being pushed or influenced to be something other than I am, to do something other than I should, or to believe something other than what I know to be true.<br />
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I've also realized the importance of having strong positive solid good influences around you. Think about when you sing -- if you're singing with other people and they are all off pitch, it is much more difficult to stay on key. But if everyone is singing well and in harmony with the correct notes, it is easy to follow along. So it goes with our choices. If the people we are around are making poor choices it hard to be the only one staying on the right note. How important it is then, for us, to watch our influences carefully and choose our friends, our job, and what we do with our time very very carefully.<br />
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Well that's it. Oh, last but not least, there was a 3.8 earthquake in Manchester. Our whole house shook for like 5 seconds. It was pretty awesome. Chalk that up to experience, baby!<br />
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All the best from Jamaica. Less than 2 weeks until Christmas! WOOHOO!<br />
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<3<br />
Sister Payne<br />
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A big IRIE CHRISTMAS to everyone reading this at any point this week --<br />
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I'm gonna start off with your commitment. In the words of Pres. Uchtdorf, be sure to "look beyond the facade of the season and see the sublime truth and beauty of this time of year." In the words of our district president, Brother Morrison, Christ's life was one big Christmastime ... may we all seek to emulate His example now and forever more, not just on the 25th. Christmas is a good reminder of how we should be all year. You know, without Christ, its just mas. Mas is the spanish word for more -- and really without Christ then all we focus on is more more more stuff. The odds against Christmas being Christmas are 365 to one. Think about it.<br />
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I wrote this this morning specifically to include in this email today:<br />
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"A Missionary Christmas"<br />
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last year Christmas i was home<br />
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trading gifts with loved ones close<br />
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watching movies, eating food<br />
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enjoying that December mood<br />
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this year i am far away<br />
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from nieces and nephews that love to play<br />
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from trees and lights and mistletoe<br />
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from anyone or anything i know<br />
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i assumed this Christmas would be bleak<br />
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and leave me feeling lonely or weak<br />
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turns out that's not the case at all<br />
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this Christmas may be the best of all<br />
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maybe it took me stepping out<br />
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to see what Christmas is all about<br />
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i traded my name on gift tags<br />
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for wearing His name on my name tag<br />
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traded turkey for goat - parades for proselyting<br />
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and yet somehow my holiday is still irie<br />
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i got my family around me and though we just met<br />
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we're united in purpose and you can bet<br />
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you couldn't find a happier youth<br />
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privileged to bring the world His truth<br />
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and that's what Christmas is really for<br />
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not the glitter, the parties, the lines at the store<br />
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its celebrating the birth of the Master<br />
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His life - the only real happy ever after<br />
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the best gift was the Savior and i'm blessed to be<br />
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serving this year, as His missionary.<br />
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Well, I finally finished reading the Book of Mormon this morning. After talking about it and trying but being distracted, I finished it before the year was out. I'm gonna read it twice more before I come home ... that's my goal. I'm working on finishing the New Testament now. It has been a great experience and I can't wait to read the Book of Mormon again. Moroni 7 is my favorite chapter, I think. BE NOT DECEIVED! If I had studied that more thoroughly, or more frequently back home, I would have been a heckuva better person. But I can't change the past I suppose. I'm proud of the person I'm becoming ... not because of me, but because of what Christ is making me. If I wasn't so stubborn and stupid He could help me a lot more. I'm trying. A great talk I read this week was "Our Strengths Can become our downfall" by Elder Oaks from October 1994. I recommend it. I didn't get to read the whole thing, but I'd love to cause what I did read was awesome. It helped me to understand that we need to act upon guidance that was receive from the Spirit. But if we don't receive personal revelation the Lord is trusting us to use our best judgment. Then comes the real test of our agency. Intense.<br />
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We have a stray dog at our apartment that has become our night watchman. He is so awesome and loyal. Some idiots were throwing rocks at him and one tagged him on the head and he immediately jumped in front of us to protect us. We named him Hyrum and we continue to feed him scraps every now and then. It makes us feel safe knowing we have such a hardcore guard dog. Some things are messed up here. Like I just found out that when the church sends stuff to Kingston like food and clothes for Food for the Poor, a lot of times it gets stolen right in Kingston and then sold at markets. Lovely, right? Anyway, no negativity. This is Christmas after all. This week has been freezing! Like in the 60s - that's just dang cold for Jamaica and me no likey. I'm ready for a warm Christmas in Portmore and Kingston. <br />
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Bobby came to church. He's still progressing. Gavaska is no longer fighting with us about 7th day stuff, but he's not agreeing with us either haha. He's actually become a good friend and we still visit him every now and then. It has been a miracle to see the Lord soften his heart little by little. He actually accepted the Book of Mormon and allowed us to read out of it with him. Man, that's just cool. Other than that, no real investigator news to report. We're working with some, trying to find some new ones, and all that good stuff. Hopefully more exciting actual missionary/teaching news to report soon. This is a slow time of year, actually. People too busy to sit down with us and stuff. But the good news is some sweet Usher song is playing on the radio right now. <br />
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We had a great branch Christmas dinner and program. We had fish, curry goat, rice and peas, sweet potato pudding, potato salad, and baked chicken. Yum! We have a new zone leader, Elder Ashton. That kid is a character, I'll just leave it at that. He served in Nassau before me, so at least he's got that goin' for him. We've had this huge controversy the past couple days over t shirts that are being made for our zone. We are the Mandeville zone, and my idea for the shirt was "MANDEVILLE UNITED" on the front, like a jersey and then on the back a number and "WITHOUT US ITS JUST RIGHTEO" .... they shut me down! They decided to make a shirt that says "mandeville stallions" .... like, that has nothing to do with anything. They tried to make it even worse. I felt outnumbered by boys with mediocre minds. I told them I wouldn't spend ten bucks on a stupid shirt, and they got terribly upset. We compromised, maybe. Hopefully these shirts come out okay. The goal was to get them to all be wearing them when we go to Kingston for Christmas. I refuse to look like an idiot in front of the whole mission, or to waste money on a shirt I'll never want to wear again. You all know that I have a hard time with conceding to lame-o ideas. It has been a real growing experience for us all.<br />
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Anyway, for Christmas Eve Friday we'll be heading to Portmore for activities and then to Kingston for skits and dinner. Christmas Day we're having a big meal with the Andersons, calling home, and just hanging out basically. It isn't really going to be a proselyting day for us so I look forward to napping and listening to Christmas music. Don't forget to give a gift to the Savior this year - that's the most important gift you will give I can promise you that!<br />
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Acts 5: 29¶Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to aobey God rather than men.<br />
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Proverbs 13: 15Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard.<br />
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1 Nephi 17:2And so great were the ablessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon braw cmeat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings.<br />
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I have learned -- that sin is the hard way. Obedience is the easy way - every time - no matter what anyone says or no matter how it may appear. Choose the right, or suffer. Seriously. Lesson learned.<br />
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Romans 8:26Likewise the Spirit also ahelpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should bpray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh cintercession for us with dgroanings which cannot be uttered.<br />
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Rely on the Spirit in prayer, and then even if you can't put into words all that you need the Spirit will take over.<br />
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The hardest part on a mission is making friends, in a different country, that you're going to have to leave and maybe never see again. Ugh. I have to not think about it in order to keep going.<br />
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Alright well I think that's all I've got this week. I hope you all have an awesome Christmas and enjoy it to the fullest. <br />
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Until next time,<br />
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Sister Payne <br />
_______________________________________________ <br />
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Family, Friends, and Fans -- <br />
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Yes I am emailing on a Tuesday because yesterday the Jamaicans celebrated Boxing Day which meant the businesses were closed and a half. We celebrated by the Andersens taking us to Treasure Beach to have pizza at Jack Sprat. It was delicious and fun and unexpected and relaxing! Well I called home a couple days ago so there isn't much to write but I'll do my best to make this interesting all the same.<br />
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We had a big mission Christmas party in Kingston and it was great. We had mexican food and cookies, skits, presents, a devotional, and watched Mr Kreuger's Christmas (that gets me every time) and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. It was a good time to be had by all and it was nice meeting some of the missionaries that I never had met before. I even go to play some guitar while I was there, which was the first of the great Christmas presents.<br />
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The second of the great presents was that Brother Major, back in Nassau, was baptized on December 18th! Sis. Smith sent me the info and the pictures. Whew. You can't believe how excited that made me! It is frustrating to see some of our recent converts that have already fell away from the church, but that feeling of seeing someone you work with so much who is already a strong disciple of Christ before they're ever baptized finally make that decision and come that much closer to the Savior ... it makes the mission totally worth it!<br />
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The third present was being able to call home and talk to those I love -- After all, nothing matters in this life but what we offer in love. It drew me back home but didn't make me too homesick. It was a lovely boost at my halfway home mark.<br />
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The fourth present was dinner with the Andersens (ham and the works!) as well as four bottles of hot sauce and a heap of other food they gave us. We've been eating stuff from Christmas ever since.<br />
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The fifth present was that I'm not getting transferred and I'll be in Mandeville for at least another six weeks.AWESOME!<br />
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A whole heap of other awesome things happened and will happen - a mission is the gift that keeps on giving. Well what else is there to say? I've learned a lot about how Satan will attack our weaknesses but also our strengths -- our weaknesses because that's where we are vulnerable, and our strengths because that's where we have the most power. I have learned a lot about the destructive nature of sin and transgression ... termites that eat us from the inside out leaving us weak and hollow. I have learned a lot about agency - which is what I spoke about in sacrament meeting on Sunday - and how we really our in control of our destiny. I love learning - and I hope to learn more as the next transfer comes.<br />
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I read a talk this morning about missionary work -- and realized member missionary work is really where it's at. Without member missionaries, the missionary effort is futile.<br />
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http://lds.org/ensign/2010/11/be-thou-an-example-of-the-believers?lang=eng <br />
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Don't forget to share the gospel!<br />
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A mission is a family -- within a zone it's like ... you can talk smack about other missionaries, but the second someone outside your district or something says something about a missionary you serve with ... you instantly get defensive!<br />
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We've played a lot of Ninja - the game over the past week. If you don't know how to play that, don't worry. I'll teach you.<br />
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Jamaicans have a Christmas tradition they call Grand Market -- they start partying Christmas Eve at sunset and go until sunrise Christmas Day. It was loud and we were attempting to sleep. It was Christmas in Jamaica, indeed.<br />
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I'm allergic to our apartment. I think it's God's way of telling me to get outside and quit being lazy.<br />
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I had a dream about the Tron movie that came out that I haven't seen. I was in it. And I was also friends with Corey Feldman. That makes two Corey Feldman dreams in Mandeville. Don't even ask, cause I don't even know.<br />
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Well, investigator wise we're teaching a really cool kid named Ricardo that will be golden as soon as he comes to church. He had a huge record collection (vinyl records) and had like four Frank Sinatra records. Stush! As you know we've been teaching Bobby ... he's been progressing ... he was living the word of wisdom and bore testimony about how it has blessed his life ... then he called us to come over the day after Christmas when he didn't come to church and when we got there he was wasted. Very depressing. I'm trying to shake it off and press forward with faith. It was a blow of discouragement, for sure, but we're here to find the elect and it is up to him if he wants to commit to following the gospel or not. <br />
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Well, like Sis. Wilkinson's dad said, it's not like the church to move backward. It really has in Jamaica though - it has stopped growing like it was. There are trials a plenty - but the church will have its glory day in the hot sun in this country! ;)<br />
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Alright, your commitment this email is to SEND ME YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS! <br />
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MAKE ONES THAT YOU'LL ACTUALLY KEEP - THAT ARE REALISTIC BUT MAKE YOU STRETCH! If you send me yours, I'll send you mine!<br />
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Okay, I think that's all I've got this time around. I'm going to try to attach a whole heap of pictures for you. Enjoy!<br />
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All my love,<br />
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Sister Payne <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEk8yEngGBZsoKWYrmqLXrn1fFFIGhfKvt5I7xPnb4Tu_kxI5VX_SIrAee3Qg2cEZTBgqlj0YkRUJyNPfr8ypWz2GwbkBaZ3457wZGBbGe9Sf43Z2pOh6CJrbuImtBs6SCT3Gicm3YHopN/s1600/ma2il.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEk8yEngGBZsoKWYrmqLXrn1fFFIGhfKvt5I7xPnb4Tu_kxI5VX_SIrAee3Qg2cEZTBgqlj0YkRUJyNPfr8ypWz2GwbkBaZ3457wZGBbGe9Sf43Z2pOh6CJrbuImtBs6SCT3Gicm3YHopN/s320/ma2il.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4L3xjqqYHuUkvf4A0fcOISeEfHPoIyIamcAfPODkWKYQ225-Azjfzt0APZ6dZE0CaVf_BgANWucfqCf0KHLzoPSYbyrU_S6YuWnf7ZSnoIvPBgDkg4s6A2Fe2_kviwTQEqRphju_H_MNm/s1600/mail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4L3xjqqYHuUkvf4A0fcOISeEfHPoIyIamcAfPODkWKYQ225-Azjfzt0APZ6dZE0CaVf_BgANWucfqCf0KHLzoPSYbyrU_S6YuWnf7ZSnoIvPBgDkg4s6A2Fe2_kviwTQEqRphju_H_MNm/s320/mail.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-60670856601734229432010-11-25T18:28:00.000-08:002010-11-25T18:28:28.569-08:00A lot of catching up to do!Sorry everyone! I'm a terrible friend, but here are some old letters from Sister P. Enjoy!<br />
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A great big happy hello to you Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Your commitment this fine week is to read "May We So Live" by President Monson, and apply it in your lives.<br />
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http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=8669dd48c4a6b110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD<br />
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Hopefully that link works.<br />
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That and much other parts of this email are in honor of Ashleigh - one year tomorrow - where does the time go? Allow me to share with you a couple brief lessons Ashleigh's life has taught me. The first is that I have long had a fear of being average ... I have felt for some time that ... I'm awesome, for lack of a better word, and because of that I must spend my time on this earth doing just absolutely awesome things. That has led me to want to become the first woman in the NBA, to want to be a comedian, a screenwriter, a novelist, a rockstar. I have learned that we are not WHAT we do - we are HOW we do what we do. For example, Ashleigh lived a simple life, but she did so extraordinarily. She was an outstanding person, in every aspect - every role she fulfilled she did so to the enth degree. She was not average, and yet she wasn't famous or a millionaire. That taught me a great lesson in how I live my life.<br />
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The other lesson is that we must each find out for ourselves the role that Heavenly Father expects us to play in this life. It will not be the same, for we are each invidividuals and God has created us for a unique purpose. One person may be destined to bring light to the world through science, another through politics, another through raising a wonderful family, another through preaching the gospel, etc etc. It's up to us to strive to find out what our talents are, use our agency to pursue a course that will be most beneficial and please our Heavenly Father, and then give it all we've got, so at the end we can all say, as Ashleigh did, that we've done what God asked us to do and we don't have any regrets. 2 Tim 4:7.<br />
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Other lessons I have learned this week - our agency is like money. If we use our money wisely, we will never be limited by how we can spend it. We'll always have a plethora of options. If we blow our money, we no longer can choose what we spend it on. So it goes with our agency - if we use it wisely we'll always have a number of great options to choose from. If we don't, we'll be enslaved to a choice not of our choosing. Think the Word of Wisdom -- if we choose to follow it, we can choose to do a number of things with our great health. But if we choose to smoke, and get lung cancer, how many choices are taken out of our hands!<br />
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I've also learned the importance of scripture study -- not just reading, but really studying! I was reading Mosiah 3 and 4 one morning and thinking "Y'know, I would've avoided a lot of pitfalls if I just would have had this stuff etched onto my memory and into my heart!" That comes through truly feasting upon the words of Christ -- when we study every day, we'll remember those things because we'll have just read them! We'll be able to hold fast amidst the loud noise of the world. Reading in the morning has really helped too - because then what I just read is on my mind throughout the day, as opposed to right before I go to bed and then I go to sleep and forget it all by morning. It really has made a huge impact.<br />
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I've been making an extra effort to recognize and follow the Spirit. It has paid off a couple times -- little instances like when we are impressed to talk to someone, and they blow us off but then someone else walks up and talks to us. To think what would have happened if we just kept walking and never stopped for that first person! Or also, in a lesson with a less-active the other day, we were going to teach the 10 virgins parable ... it is what we had prepared, but right as we pulled up I kept thinking "sacrament ... sacrament" .... so we taught sacrament, and it was a totally spiritual lesson, and she was at church on Sunday. Miracles happen everyday in the mission field.<br />
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We had 15 people at our English class - that's tripled since our first one! In a lesson this week Prague told us he really felt the Holy Ghost, even though it was just his living room. That was rad. And Jean Max told us in a lesson to be sure that we gave him a commitment before we left. Cool, right? Jean Max is being interviewed tonight for his baptism tomorrow. I know all will go well!<br />
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I had a dream about Joseph Smith swashbuckling some zombies. Don't even ask. We went tracting this week - only like 2 people answered their doors. I had escovitzch fish this week, and didn't hate it. Tonight Sis. Ockey is making me a custom birthday dinner - she basically took my order - so we're having lobster, mashed potatoes, steamed veggies and creme brulee for dessert! Am I excited? Oh yes. <br />
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We meet the coolest people ever here. One guy we met yesterday, a less active named Joanel -- well, he's been prepared to be brought back to church. He's been out for YEARS because he made some bad mistakes, it made him ashamed, and he quit coming. He says he always has known the church is true, but he couldn't bring himself to come back. In our lesson, he kept saying how happy he was to see us and how he can't wait to come to conference this weekend. He just kept saying "I'm ready... I'm ready" ... coolest! Haitians are so rad, p.s I'm gonna miss the heck outta them. <br />
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I've got 18+ songs now that are complete with lyrics and melody and I've recorded the sound bytes on my digital camera so I don't forget them when I get home. It's ridiculous, some days I write three songs in one day! There's neverending inspiration out here, and I'm grateful to Heavenly Father for letting me keep something I love to do so much.<br />
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A mission is the best time to receive personal revelation. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.<br />
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I leave you with the scripture of the day:<br />
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2 cor 4:5, 8-10<br />
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5 For we apreach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your bservants for Jesus’ sake. <br />
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8 We are atroubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in bdespair; <br />
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9 aPersecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not bdestroyed; <br />
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10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. <br />
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I love you all! Enjoy the pictures, we just took them a couple hours ago at cabbage beach on paradise island.<br />
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<3 Sister Payne<br />
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Oh. Ps here are some lyrics to a song I wrote about Ashleigh on 9.16.10.<br />
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It's called Carry On.<br />
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v1<br />
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the seconds tick away on that watch you gave to me<br />
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time stares me in the face<br />
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i know im out here cause that's what you would have told me to do<br />
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if only i could tell you<br />
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chorus<br />
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its hard to believe you're really gone<br />
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hard to believe its been so long<br />
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its hard to believe but your memory<br />
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it carries on and we carry on<br />
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carry on<br />
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v2<br />
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you know im glad that - that you got to see me play<br />
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im glad i got to say goodbye<br />
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you know i wish that - that i can live a life half as great<br />
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as the one you left behind<br />
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chorus<br />
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bridge<br />
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and everytime i check the mail i remember that night at the hospital<br />
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sometimes i wish i could forget<br />
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and everytime i hear wonderwall i wonder why this life has to be so hard<br />
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you were so young - and had so much<br />
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and utah will always feel so cold to me<br />
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but arizona will always hold your legacy<br />
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you live on<br />
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rock on<br />
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and save a place for me<br />
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v3<br />
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four faces - they still shine with your light<br />
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a light brighter than the sun<br />
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their handprints are - reminders of an angel we knew<br />
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who went back home<br />
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chorus<br />
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outro<br />
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even though you're not here you're not far<br />
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we always say you were, but you are. <br />
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Not a whole lot to report this week but I will try to make this interesting anyway. <br />
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First off, Jean Max was confirmed and received the Aaronic Priesthood today. Woot woot! Also, a kid we've been working with, Mark Chase, he's committed for baptism on November 7th! We're really really excited about him. Allow me to briefly tell you his story.<br />
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A few months ago, Sis. Smith just hopped out of the car while we were driving and invited this kid to a job class we were having. He never showed up, but we ended up getting an appointment with him. The first few appointments we had he was just a clown. He was asking all sorts of questions about tattoos, celebrities, gambling, all this random stuff. He asked Sis Smith if he could marry her so he could come to the US. He then proceeded to give me a really hard time for liking the Red Sox, since he's a Yankees fan. This is how all our lessons went. We were like - we've gotta drop this dude. He's funny, but a waste of our teaching time. So we decided to give him a lesson so he could understand why the Book of Mormon was really really important, and why it was vital for him to figure out for himself if it was true. We read parts of "safety for the soul" by Elder Holland. It hit him! It's like this thing just flipped in his head - his whole countenance changed. He kept talking about Joseph Smith, and asking why he would have given his life and been so calm about it if the book wasn't true or if it wasn't important. When we would get off topic, he'd bring us back to the point! It was a total 180. We came back, taught him about prayer and how to receive an answer, and committed him for baptism and he accepted without hesitation. He's taking the lessons totally seriously now, and can't wait to get his answer. I can't wait either! <br />
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We have a new zone leader, Elder More. He served in Lucea right before I did, and he's hilarious. He made us sing during our skype conference on Tuesday to 'lighten the mood'. He always has a joke or a good story, and he can really lift us up when our heads hang down. It's refreshing. He's taken the focus off our numbers, and he helped me realize some weaknesses I have that I didn't even notice. I have a bit of an issue with judging others - prejudging them and not talking to them because I assume they're not gonna wanna listen. That's a hard thing in our mission that apparently all missionaries struggle with. The culture shock, and the rough neighborhoods and rough people -- it's easy to just assume they're not gonna care. But hey, look at Mark. <br />
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We've had some bad weather most of the week, but it's finally sunny. Today is Discovery Day here, which means almost all the businesses are closed (except for the internet cafe - sweet) and it's also Canadian Thanksgiving, so the Ockeys are cooking us some turkey tonight, haha. <br />
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Okay now onto some insights I guess. I noticed some other themes that were from general conference this week. The first - beware of virtue turning to vice. I thought that was poignant - anything, when taken to the extreme, can turn to our downfall, even good things. Also the importance of following the prophet, and the importance of the plan of salvation. Last but not least, understanding how sin works and where it comes from - beware of it sneaking up little by little. That was a running theme I appreciated as well.<br />
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I read the talk by Pres Uchtdorf "continue in patience" this week, then had a cool experience making some burritos. I was grilling up the meat and it wasn't getting brown and I instantly got frustrated. I was like "I'm doing this wrong, i must be, i'm the worst cook ever, this food isn't gonna turn out, i'm a failure" ... in a couple minutes the meat was brown and delicious. Then I added the other ingredients into the skillet and the directions said to cook until most of the water was soaked up into the rice. It was taking forever. I double and triple checked the directions, assuming I'd made a mistake and added too much liquid. Sure enough, time passed, and the food was delicious and cooked just fine. This taught me a couple things. 1) just be patient! and 2) Satan will try to get us, while we're waiting for something, to double and triple check our decisions. He'll try to get us to feel like we're failures, make us discouraged in our quest for patience. Think of the couple that wants to get married in the temple but has to wait to get their lives in order, pay a full tithe, etc. Satan will say "you fail. give up. just get married somewhere else. you're never gonna be good enough to get married in the temple". Or I think of my situation, out on my mission, putting my life at home on hold. Satan will say "you've made the wrong choice. you've ruined everything. it's never gonna turn out right" ... but Heavenly Father will never let us feel that way. As long as we have the Spirit, we won't ever feel like that.<br />
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Okay last but not least --<br />
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I've been having morning devotionals lately. They're awesome. I'll spare the details, but I wake up - shower & eat - then just spend a few minutes in prayer in a quiet place in my apartment laying everything out on the line to Heavenly Father. I call it going to my sacred grove. It has really helped. I reccommend it. It has completely changed the way my days start.<br />
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And here are some lessons I've learned since I've been out on my mission:<br />
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1) i need to take every opportunity i have to play guitar with my dad<br />
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2) i need to go out to eat with my parents as many times as i can<br />
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(these are motivated by a greater lesson learned - we never HAVE the time to do things - we have to MAKE the time to do things)<br />
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3) i need to spend less money on stupid things, and spend less money than i earn<br />
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4) be patient - and study and work hard now or you'll regret it later. i'm not gettin' any younger.<br />
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5) early to bed makes all the difference in a clear head<br />
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6) "there's more to life than increasing it's speed"<br />
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7) read more books. use less internet.<br />
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8) and one progresses only as fast as he gains knowledge. heretoforethen, acquire knowledge! <br />
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scripture of the week : d&c 11<br />
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12 And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your atrust in that bSpirit which cleadeth to do dgood—yea, to do ejustly, to walk fhumbly, to gjudge righteously; and this is my Spirit.<br />
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13 Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall aenlighten your bmind, which shall fill your soul with cjoy;<br />
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14 And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of arighteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.<br />
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And remember - missionaries build the house, converts furnish it themselves, the members do the housekeeping and the Savior does the extreme makeover home edition and makes it a mansion.<br />
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Have a great week. Love you all.<br />
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- Sister Payne<br />
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PS I've had some of the craziest dreams on my mission - and I kept a dream journal for a while. Allow me to share some...<br />
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5.26.10<br />
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lastnight i dreamt i was hanging out with hugh jackman and his wife. i wrote him a letter confessing my love to him, to which he consoled me like i was a little child crying over not getting the lollipop i wanted.<br />
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5.27.10<br />
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lastnight i dreamt that rosie (investigator) stole all our orange marmalade and bread, and jennifer (investigator) stole all our mangos. i chewed them out then went to wash off a plantain in the ocean, which looked like somewhere in aruba.<br />
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5.28.10<br />
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lastnight i dreamt i was on the amazing race. our last challenge was a karaoke challenge and my 4-man team was Valerie, me, jill wizbowski (from heritage academy - so random), and a random kid from MTC volleyball. Chris Kattan was running the karaoke computer and it crashed so we lost. then i was at the london dungeon with ashlee and the jesterz troupe worked there and were remodelling.<br />
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5.29.10<br />
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the only thing i remember from lastnight was elder landeen and elder rebeiro and the band simple plan were all in my dream.<br />
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5.31.10<br />
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lastnight i dreamt i was at some banquet or awards dinner for teachers and it was at an awards hall in the mountains at a ski resort. so david and i went snowboarding and all the old teachers were skiing and were judging us, and at the actual dinner they called us hooligans and punk kids. <br />
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I'm exhausted. This e-mail will no doubt reflect that. My apologies. <br />
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So, other people serve missions and learn languages. In the Jamaica Kingston Mission we forget the language we already knew! I have noticed a drastic drop in the quality of English of my fellow missionaries, and even myself <face palm="">. We say things like "thingam" and "Sunday next" or "Sunday coming" or "study dem things" ... so goes loving the people - you begin to talk like them.<br />
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It has been difficult being in this area so long, and being with the same companion my entire mission thus far. Though I love the area, and love Sis. Smith - there is such a thing as "too much of a good thing". I anticipate a transfer soon, though I know I'll really miss this country, the people here, and all the amenities we have. It is very stush here, and the cold showers in Jamaica I'm not missing at all. I'm sure the set of trials you face always change throughout time, but trials are always there you just gotta roll with the punches.<br />
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It is also a bit of a challenge being off-island. It is easy to feel removed from the rest of the mission. I've only had two interviews with my mission president in seven months - one with Pres. Graff right when I got here and one with Pres. Hendricks four months ago. It is usually up to us to figure out this whole mission thing on our own. Good thing we've got the help from the Lord no matter what area we are in. And it is a growing experience not being under constant watch. And it is a privelege the Lord trusts us that much. After all - <br />
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D&C 58<br />
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26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is acompelled in all things, the same is a bslothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. <br />
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27 Verily I say, men should be aanxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; <br />
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28 For the power is in them, wherein they are aagents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their breward. <br />
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29 But he that adoeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with bdoubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is cdamned. <br />
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Well. It is easy to get tired of doing the same thing all day everyday. I mean, back home you've got the 9 to 5 - 5 days a week. You clock in, clock out, and do whatever you want with your free time. Here we have exactly 7 hours of free time on Mondays spent e-mailing and grocery shopping and catching up on sleep. The enduring to the end thing ... the whole diligence thing ... the most difficult part of my mission right now. I pretty much scream every morning -- "I WANT A BREAK!!!!!" and then Sis. Smith listens quietly as I complain through companion study and then we go out and try to find anyone who will listen. Ah, a glimpse into life in Nassau right now.<br />
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Well, I've noticed my sleep schedule isn't good. And our diet isn't very good either. Consequently we're always tired and lazy. So that's something we're working on trying to fix. Getting out of what is called "the curse of nassau" where the missionaries get lazy because of the comfort here. <br />
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A big thing - a big problem - is applying what I learn. It seems everyday I learn something new through scripture study, through the Spirit, through prayer and experience. I have learned so much. The challenge isn't learning - it's letting what you learn change you in some way -- becoming converted to what you know. I guess that's why the natural man is the enemy to God (Mosiah 3:19). They always say "mind over matter", but it's really "spirit over body". Our celestial spirits can control our telestial bodies, if we just let them. But ... we have a real hard time mastering that. Self mastery have I none.<br />
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I've been seeking ways to come unto Christ in my daily life - even when stuck in traffic. That's a challenge too. I've learned that my mission filters out what is truly important in life. I believe that is the greatest blessing that has come from all of this. I'm able to sit back and say "that? that's eternal. that's important. that deserves my time." or "that? that's crap. I don't need to worry about that at all." Man, that is worth the time and money to come out here alone. I want that perspective for the rest of my life. It'd make life so much nicer and would have prevented me from a lot of heartache and regret in the past. C'est la vie.<br />
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We had an interesting experience teaching a pastor that pretended not to be a pastor or know anything about our church, basically inviting us into his home to try to trap us into saying something he could use against us in a sermon. That was lovely. Had we not had a member with us, we never would have known. There are some really shady people in these parts. It gives me the willies sometimes. Oh well. The truth is truth - and it will always prevail. I wonder if Paul ever taught that true Christianity meant being a shady liar? I don't remember reading that anywhere. Hmmm..<br />
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I've been learning a lot about the Atonement - how it is all about mercy and love. Here's some scriptures that really hit me this week. If anyone cares to know my thoughts on them or why I found them so significant, just ask. Otherwise I'll leave it up to you to figure it out:<br />
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Alma 34:11-12<br />
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Moses 1:9-10<br />
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D&C 136:31<br />
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Last but not least, I have discovered this is my greatness. All my life teachers, mentors, friends, and relatives would say "you're great. I expect great things from you. You will do great things in life." etc etc etc. I always thought that meant I was gonna be rich and famous and change the world. But here I am - changing the world. However small the change in what I am doing right now, this is my greatness. Much more important than what you do is who you are. When I die, no one will say "oh she had a lot of money or she had a lot of success" ... if I live the life I should people will say "she was passionate, she was righteous, she never settled and never gave up". Much more important than what I do, is who I am.<br />
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I hope I will just become better and better with age - like a fine cheese, that I can't eat a lot of, cause I'm lactose intolerant.<br />
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Anyway, I love you all. YOUR COMMITMENT this week is to read "ACT IN ALL DILIGENCE" by HENRY B EYRING.<br />
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http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1207-21,00.html<br />
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Have a great week. <br />
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All the best,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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SISTER PAYNE'S CRAZY DREAMS 2ND EDITION<br />
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6.1.10<br />
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all i remember from lastnight is i was hanging out with jim gaffigan. he was doing a house show, and my parents were there but no one else knew who he was. but he knew me really well. and i dreamed about a massive opera style movie theatre for the 2nd time.<br />
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6.4.10<br />
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lastnight i was at some mac makeup expo along with rockstar {tigi} and i thought i was invited back to some sponsored contest but it was actually just brooke white who was invited back. and i got in an argument with a lady over why i don't wear makeup on my mission.<br />
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6.12.10<br />
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haven't had any crazy ones lately that i can remember anyway. lastnight i dreamt i was being transferred to mandeville and always running late for my flight.<br />
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6.15.10<br />
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transfer dream again. back to jamaica, leaving sis smith here - got a new comp. nightmare!<br />
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6.21.10<br />
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dreamt i was with lisa andrews, valerie, and kristin chenoweth who was chilling on the beach and she came with us to go see wicked the movie. then i was on a movie set somewhere and played a role and robert downey jr had a cameo and we got to hang out. then we were by some people who were dress out of world war I and we were dancing with them, then i was with sis smith at a guitar shop. ha!<br />
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6.24.10<br />
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lastnight i dreamt some former olympian invited me to canada with her family on a ski trip so i left my mission for four days and went to canada to learn to ski but i didnt bring anything but my mission backpack so i was really mad that i didnt have any clothes or a camera.<br />
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My commitment to you this week is to read FOR THE STRENGTH OF YOUTH prayerfully. I promise you, if you do it with the right spirit. you will learn something new. I read many things this week that urged us to live by the standards in that pamphlet, even as adults. I felt I should read it - and as I did I felt a renewed strength and hope, to be better in the future than I have been. I felt regret that I had not payed closer attention to such inspired counsel earlier in my life. I felt an increase of knowledge and desire to be good. <br />
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This will probably be shorter than the last few e-mails. What can I say - the longer I'm out here and the less that happens the less I have to say. Who am I kidding I could write volumes every e-mail, but I'm tired and I'm sure you've got better things to do than read every single thought I've had this week.<br />
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First, we've been teaching this woman Shantel. She lives with her boyfriend and every lesson we have she's doing a million other things during it. She doesn't take us seriously at all and basically doesn't keep any commitments. Why are we teaching her, you ask? Good question. We're not sure other than we have like zero other investigators so it gives us something to do.<br />
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Second, Mark who is to be baptized in two weeks was not at church yet again. He apparently does not have that much desire, and that's a real struggle for us. We love the kid, and want him to man up and make the commitment. He knows what we're teaching is true, but he wants some Saul/Paul conversion miracle before he really commits to anything. Commitment is a huge problem here - they can't even commit when they're driving, inching out in intersections - let alone commit to baptism. <br />
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You should all check out realheroposters.com -- they make them in full posters or little trading card size. It is awesome. Who is YOUR hero?<br />
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We have noticed that productivity influences positivity. The longer we have our line in the water so to speak, the more likely we'll catch some fish. And the harder we work the happier we are cause we can at least say, when our heads in the pillow, we gave it our best shot today. That being said, we often don't give it our best shot because we get discouraged or complacent. A 7 month companionship is hard, you stop pushing eachother and just say "you're lazy? me too. let's be lazy together." Needless to say, my money is on a transfer in November with me headed back to JamRock and culture shock all over again. That'll be a welcome change though, even amidst the inevitable adversity.<br />
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We had a restoration activity at the church on Friday. We used flashlights to represent the apostles and the priesthood and the restoration. It was pretty fun. <br />
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Scriptures that have influenced me this week:<br />
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Alma 37:38-46 -- WHOA. awesome.<br />
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2 Nephi 2:26-29 (relate that to Mosiah 3:19) -- DANG. spirit over body is the key. gotta make the choice to be good.<br />
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D&C 58:31-33 - enjoy.<br />
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and Alma 29:10 -- why being on a mission is the best blessing ever.<br />
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Here's some lessons I learned this week:<br />
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1) Neal A. Maxwell said something that is often quoted - too many of us want to build our house in Zion but keep a summer cottage in Babylon. Hello. This is me. I realized that this week - that is a huge problem with me. It was enlightening to read a talk by Larry W. Gibbons called "Wherefore Settle This in Your Hearts" ... I can't even say all the thoughts that I had but it stuck out to me that he mentioned too many of us are 80/20 saints --- we're who we are to be 80% of the time but we look at it like we have this 20% of the time that we can error and be of the world. I know this was the case for me. Well I can skip church 1 every 5 times. Well I can see a rated R movie as long as I'm seeing mostly good movies. Oh I can listen to some bad music it's not like I do it all the time. I see it all around me in people I know too. Oh, I can have a non-committal makeout it's not like I'm breaking the law of chastity. Oh I can talk crap about my friends if I'm nice to their face. etc etc etc. Are we 80/20 saints? I know I was, far too often. Still am - but I recognize it now and I'm working on changing. I know I can change - that's a promise given to me by my Savior.<br />
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http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=ec4b88f17feae010VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD<br />
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2) I was not converted to the gospel. This is my focus, right now and throughout the rest of my life. It is not enough to have a testimony. This is a theme I've seen throughout my mission - the difference between testimony and conversion. I invite you to read this talk and follow the counsel. If you read it prayerfully, and sit back and analyze your discipleship I know you'll see room for improvement. We all can improve. So change - do it now! I've spent so much time putting off until tomorrow the change I wanted to make yesterday. With thoughts like that - you never get anywhere. Believe me, I know.<br />
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and 3) Our life is a gift. I've been thinking about the gift of mortal probation -- that we are given this life to develop Christlike attributes. I learned this from a member. We had a lesson with their family about Christlike attributes and she said that as we go through experience we develop and learn - so having a spouse helps you to learn patience and charity as well as having children increases your capacity for love .... going to school increases your knowledge -- adversity tests your faith and can strengthen it or destroy it ... We cannot become impatient with ourselves when we feel we lack in faith, in patience, humility, etc. What we need to do is rather recognize the things in our lives that have happened already that may have been given to us to help us develop these attributes, and prayerfully move into each day asking "what can I learn today?" and end each day thinking "what did I learn today and how can I apply it?" Over time we will become like the Savior, but it requires diligence.<br />
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It seems like with so much to work on I end up getting nowhere. But it is hard to recognize the progress in ourselves sometimes. I'm trying.<br />
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I love my mission. The last 8 months have flown by. Slow down time! Slow down!<br />
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Alright, that's all folks. Here's some pictures Sis. Smith had on her camera so I'm sending them home. Ignore my blatant disobedience in one photo. I repented.<br />
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All my love,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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Sis. Payne's Dream Journal 3rd Edition<br />
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6.25.10<br />
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hilarious and terrifying. first a dream that tommy emailed me to rekindle our friendship after i'd sent him a package and he talked about not giving up on the church. then a dream about britney spears and janet jackson releasing a horrible version of heal the world. then im driving with sis smith and sis ockey past all these zombies, and sis ockey saying that elder emery shot a bunch of zombies all the time cause our apartment was on the zombie block. we were out of bullets and sis ockey goes "oh its not everyday that i getta go to walmart to buy some shotgun bullets with my girls" .... then at a stoplight she grabbed this girl laying in the road who'd been attacked by zombies and pulled her in the car to help her but i explained she would soon be a zombie and i pushed her out of the car and sped off running over her (the zombie, not sis ockey) ... then i wondered why the government didn't take care of the zombie problem.<br />
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7.31.10<br />
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i had a dream that while on my mission michael j fox was cured of parkinsons and starring in a megaman movie - it was awesome but i was devastated i was missing it. <br />
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A big loud "HEY BOSS ERRY TING COOL?" to you Family, Friends, and Fans -- <br />
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Allow me to start off by saying a bunch of random stuff:<br />
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Happy Halloween! It didn't feel like Halloween here. All the churches here preach about how halloween is pagan and of the devil, so hardly anyone does anything for halloween except shoot of fireworks, so that's random. We had one crew of trick or treaters come through our neighborhood (since we're the rich neighborhood -- there's only about 2 neighborhoods on the whole island where kids actually trick or treat). Sister Smith and I dressed up as one another for Halloween and confused absolutely everyone at church. It was awesome.<br />
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We had the book of mormon stand again this week - handing out flyers for the church like we were phone card sellers on the street. I like approach - takin' the gospel to the masses! It was hilarious and we got tan while we did it. What was sad to me was how few people stopped to talk to us. I realized if we had been handing out free porn a bunch of people would have stopped. That is the state of the world that we live in however, and all the more reason for us to work harder to spread the gospel.<br />
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I believe I will be going back to Jamaica in two weeks. Either way, start addressing letters to Jamaica until further notice.<br />
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October has not been a good month, so we're glad to welcome November in. <br />
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Sister Smith and I realized we've been together longer than most Mormon couples that head to the temple, hahaha. Choice.<br />
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Last week I was very impressed with the reverence in Sacrament Meeting. This week, not at all. It was so hard to pay attention between all the kids screaming and playing and all the adults whispering and teens texting. It made me terrified to have go to a family ward indefinitely one day. Yikes. What I have been continually impressed with though is the number of tourists that come to church every Sunday. Man, I was always of the "I'm on vacation so the Sabbath now converts to just another Saturday" variety. These people on cruises only have 1-2 days here and take 3 hours to come to church that they could be sightseeing or whatever. Kudos to them. The ones Sunday were from Pinetop - so that was cool. The tourists have set a good example for me to apply in my life in the future.<br />
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I began reading Jesus the Christ on Thursday. I'm on page 235 now - out of like, 800. If I keep up the pace I've been at I can finish it by the 17th of November I think. That's my goal I'm working towards right now. I've learned so much already and it really has strengthened my testimony of the divinity of Jesus Christ as the Savior and Redeemer of mankind. It is quite an endeavor though - reading Talmage isn't exactly like reading Rowling.<br />
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Alright let me launch into lessons I've learned this week --<br />
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1) The definition of love is truly and honestly desiring the happiness of that person above your own happiness. I realized - that's how I have come to define love in my life and as I try to have charity for people, that is the constant definition I see pop up over and over. If I ask myself -- "do I love this person?" I'm really asking myself "do I put this person's happiness above my own?" If I can answer honestly, as in I'm willing to sacrifice absolutely every one of my personal desires or comforts for the happiness of that individual, then I can say "yes, I love them". That perspective has really made me realize how much I do love the people in my life, what I'm really willing to do for them, and how I need to express it more often. (Listen to "Live Like We're Dying" by Kris Allen, btw. It's good)<br />
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2) Life is kinda like a rollercoaster. I remember riding the Superman ride at six flags and Ashlee and Mr. Miller telling me there'd be a light that would turn green when we took off. I was so scared, but I was comforted there would be a warning. Once I got in, I frantically looked for the light. No such light existed and that thing launched off like a rocket into the sky at a million miles per hour. I was scared - I screamed - but once it was over I was so pumped! I related this to agency. We all chose to get in the ride when we chose to follow the plan that brought us to this mortal probation in the first place. Now that we're here, we don't always have a green light to warn us when things will come our way. Good and bad, we're on the ride strapped in and it's gonna take off. We cannot control that - what we can control is how we react to the ride. Even when it gets scary, do we keep our eyes closed, scream, cry, just waiting until its over, bitter than we got on in the first place? Or do we recognize that it isn't gonna last forever, that there is an experience to be had, and do we open up our eyes and enjoy the ride? This is what I am trying to do. I am trying to enjoy the ride. Life is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing thing. Looking back at the hardest things I've gone through - they pale in comparison to the greatness I've experienced. I know there are challenges ahead, but I don't wanna shut them out. I wanna make it through PUMPED!<br />
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3) A song I wrote when I was 16 (well part of it) has been stuck in my head ever since. I always though it was catchy, but it wreaked of a 16 year old writing it and hey, I'm not Taylor Swift these days. I had written a catchy chorus out here a month or so ago, but couldn't come up with any verses or a bridge. I was frustrated and about to scrap the song. Instead, I put this old part of an old song to the new chorus and made a pretty good song. This taught me that we never know when we are going to need something from our past to use now. We never know when something we are learning now is going to be of use to us in the future. God has a great way of preparing us now for who He will need us to be in the future. We just have to keep our eyes and ears open, and not scrap the new chorus right away, or throw away the old material with the garbage.<br />
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4) We are the only preachers of truth on this island. Satan knows that. If he takes us, he take the island. That's a bit intense! But it's something I didn't realize until our zone leader Elder More pointed it out to us. He told us how Satan uses deception (something I've been trying to study recently) to get us to see things his way instead of the real way. He said Satan would do all he could to deceive us that what we're doing isn't important, we don't make a difference, we should just give up, there's no hope here, etc etc. Man - so true. It's gotten me to think about all the ways Satan has deceived me throughout my life - making darkness appear as light or vis versa. I'm working on having the Spirit and recognizing it more so that I will not be deceived for the next 23 years.<br />
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5) Last but not least, Julie B Beck once told a story about how in a marathon you hit a brick wall where it gets really hard to keep running. But if you just stick it out and keep going, you get past it and get your second wind and can keep going for many more miles. I think Nassau has been my brick wall - not the entire time but August - October at least. I feel myself pulling out of it, or rather being pulled out of it. I am grateful for that. I have a noticeable difference in my mood and attitude, despite the fact that our circumstances have not changed one bit. It figures that once I get like that I'm probably gonna hafta leave. But isn't that how that always goes - once you start liking the primary calling you get called to relief society? Haha. That's how the Lord molds us I suppose.<br />
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I really got to help some people this week who were struggling. I felt like an instrument in the Lord's hands, and though they were members and not new investigators - they needed our help and we were there. It was nice to be able to bear my testimony, to earn the trust of people, and be with friends this week that I got to help.<br />
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D&C 64:<br />
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32 But all things must come to pass in their time.<br />
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33 Wherefore, be not aweary in bwell-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of csmall things proceedeth that which is great.<br />
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34 Behold, the Lord arequireth the bheart and a cwilling mind; and the willing and dobedient shall eeat the good of the land of Zion in these last days.<br />
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I know I'm doing the Lord's work. I know the church is His kingdom once again established on the Earth. I know He has a living prophet today that leads and guides the children of God. I know that our Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us. I know that He has given us the gift of agency, to make of our lives what we desire in our heart. I know that The Book of Mormon is the word of God, and a lighthouse for us to look to in the midst of the storms of our life.<br />
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I love my Savior. I love His church. I love His gospel. <br />
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I love you all,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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A rousing "YOU ALRIGHT?" to all my Family, Friends and Fans --<br />
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8 months in and you're still reading this jazz? Kudos to you. I feel loved.<br />
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Let's get right down to this stuff. In Preach My Gospel it talks about not getting discouraged. It says that discouragement will cause you to lower your expectations -- consequently your faith with weaken and your desire will decrease. Needless to say, that is what has happened since I've been in Nassau. All of the above. But a few things have really helped lately and I find myself, on the whole, more positive and happy than I've been my whole mission. I'll tell ya why.<br />
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First, I've been working on replacing every doubtful fearful thought with an act of faith. Satan constantly make me doubt and makes me fear. By doing something like reading my patriarchal blessing, it takes away all doubt and fear. By reading the promises made to the righteous in the scriptures, it takes away all doubt and fear. By praying and feeling the Spirit return, it takes away all doubt and fear. That has become a source of strength for me. <br />
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2 Tim 1: 7 For God hath not given us the spirit of afear; but of bpower, and of clove, and of a sound mind. <br />
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Things are intensified in the mission field. It's a mini life - so you take all the hard stuff you go through in a lifetime and condense it into an 18 month or 2 year period - it's rough. That being said, you take all the best things in a lifetime and get those condensed also. So you end up being a little bipolar in the mission field, but that goes without saying. Any good ride goes up and down after all.<br />
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A mission is not a change - it is a placing of a mantle. It is the opportunity to change - the greater capacity for acheivement. It is not a change however - and though I felt I grew rapidly in the MTC and my first transfer, I'd become stagnant. It requires constant spiritual physical and mental effort to change. George Elliot said, "It is never too late to be who you might have been." So, I push forward and growth comes. When desire meets action, you get progress.<br />
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We had a mission fast yesterday - and started it with an obedience offering ... giving up something disobedient we've been doing and not doing it for the rest of our mission. First of all, it was interested how once I decided what I was gonna give up, the tempation to do that thing became even stronger. I was able to resist, and given strength and courage and feel a burden lifted and renewed resolve to walk in greater faithfulness. It has been a great experience, and there is this new energy in our mission. We may very well be the smallest mission in the world. We are now less than 60 strong - and we cover four countries in our proselyting efforts. Our zone leaders yesterday emphasized how important each missionary is to this mission - especially how important the off island missionaries are being the only companionship on their island. We had a great inspired conversation with them last night that helped to resolve a lot of my concerns and worries, made me feel a lot better about the work, and about myself. Our zone leaders are amazing.<br />
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I was able to help Mark, our only real investigator, this week with my experiences. I was able to tell him about choosing to come on a mission despite lack of initial support in a lot of ways, and help him to relate that to him making the decision to be baptized despite his family and friends not supporting him. It felt good to be able to help someone with something I totally related to, since often I feel like I can't relate to converts since I was born into the church. I got to bear my testimony in church yesterday, and Hurricane Hayley was in full force (waterworks time). No one cries here in testimony meeting so everyone thought something was wrong with me. But I got a lot of people saying nice things about what I said and I could tell that my testimony is getting stronger. Not knowing how long I will be here, I wanted to be sure to bear my testimony to them while I had the chance. I talked about how I feel like the least likely missionary, but Joseph was a least likely prophet, and they may feel like least likely latter day saints but that's okay - the Lord strengthens us when he calls us to serve Him.<br />
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We took a young member, Karla, tracting with us yesterday. Man! She was like "HEY WE'RE HERE TO SHARE A MESSAGE WITH YOU!" No fear! We want her to prepare to serve a mission - she's only 17, but it requires a lot of preparation so she should start now! I know I wish I would have. It's cold outside (I know, right?) so we stay bundled up these days. The wind is fierce. Daylight savings time has affected me for the first time ever in my life, and that was nice getting an extra hour of sleep one morning, but staying up an extra hour that night wasn't so nice. I still hate mornings - they are my enemy - but I've been getting up earlier this week. Who knows, maybe one day I won't hate life at 6:30am.<br />
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Scriptures of the week:<br />
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2 Nephi 10:23-24<br />
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Matt 13:44-46<br />
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Luke 14:16-24 -> I actually related this parable to how I need to choose my friends from here on out ... am I giving my best to those who will appreciate it or to those who will find any excuse not to join me for dinner?<br />
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Last but not least, I've learned a lot this week about the danger of comparison. Comparing is never a good thing - to compare ourselves to others, or even to ourselves during better times of our life. On a mission its so dangerous, comparing the numbers or comparing the awesome mission stories you've heard with your own. The Elders lastnight talked about how when you hear those stories, they're telling you the good stuff. They're not telling you about the hum drum everyday, and especially not about the bad stuff. They have that too - they just omit it. They talked about how we change, sometimes we're better and sometimes we're worse ... so if we spend all our time depressed that October isn't as good as September or that this year wasn't as good as that, we won't progress. We've gotta stop it and seek to find ways to improve. Really, I'm learning a lot about that - focusing on my relationship with my Savior and not worrying about what other people think, or what they seem to have that I don't. I've learned everyone has trials, makes mistakes, has weaknesses. They're not the same as mine -- so it seems like they don't have any problems. That's not true, they just don't have my problems ... but that's why I'm an individual and the Lord will strengthen me as an individual because He knows EXACTLY what I'm facing -- and He's the only one who does.<br />
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Anyway, we had McDonalds breakfast this morning. McGriddle. Yikes. We're off to go bowling with the Ockeys.<br />
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I hope everything is great back home. <br />
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Sending all my love your way,<br />
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Sister Payne <br />
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Luke 4:42 And when it was day, he adeparted and went into a bdesert place: and the people sought him, and came unto him, and cstayed him, that he should not depart from them. <br />
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43 And he said unto them, I must apreach the kingdom of God to other cities also: for therefore am I bsent.<br />
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Wa'gwaan Family Friends and Fans!!!<br />
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I'm shippin out tomorrow morning at 7:30am - headed for the Montego Bay airport. I will be companions with Sis. Wilkinson (also from Utah) and we will be serving in Mandeville. I'm pretty excited, but as any of you could have guessed overwhelmed with anxiety. It's not so bad - the Lord really helps me with that out here. I haven't even gotten sick! So today I am packing, cleaning, and getting my hair cut for the first and only time on my mission. It'll be cool to go back to Jamaica - and spend Christmas there at the mission home with all the other missionaries. It is crazy that this next transfer goes through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. Time really is flying - I seem to have blinked and 2010 has disappeared. My mission is going too fast! SLOW DOWN MISSION! I'll miss Sis. Smith, but we both agree it will be a difficult but good change. Sis. Speakman is coming here to take over the area. Upward and onward - forward together.<br />
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In some awesome news, Mark was supposed to get baptized yesterday but didn't. Why is that awesome? Because we rescheduled his date for the 28th, he actually took the bus to church instead of having a member pick him up, he's more excited now for his baptism than ever, and he came to our Friday night activity. AWESOME. Also in awesome news, Brother Major asked us to have a lesson after church yesterday. We agreed - and I had let him borrow my copy of Our Search for Happiness last week. He read it twice, is ordering his own copy, and couldn't stop talking about how much he loved it. We read through Alma 34, and I asked him if he had learned more about the priesthood and baptism while he read the book. He laughed and said "yes, and I've made up my mind - I know this is something I need to do - and despite opposition from friends and family, as long as I'm serving God I know I'm doing the right thing. I'll be calling you this week to let you know what date I will be baptized". Man - that was so great! Now, it is hard to be leaving with all of this excitement, but I can go to Jamaica and do good there and leave the rest here to the able hands of Smith and Speakman. That was a great high note to end on.<br />
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There's Christmas lights up already here. It's exciting. We've been singing Christmas songs. Sis. Smith is trippin' cause there isn't any snow. I'm trippin' with how awesome the weather has been. It's actually chilly. I really enjoyed my last hot shower this morning. We had a movie night this week where the members got to watch Saints and Soldiers. It went well in that two investigators and two less actives came - but not so well in that hardly any members showed up. Oh well, we can only do so much. While trying to contact a less active this week, we ran into their non-member brother who came to the activity and is going to start taking the lessons next week. Hopefully with him learning it will respark the flame that his less-active family once had. We also got back another former investigator, Rico, who had a baptism date but has hit hard times. He kept telling us how miserable he was. We shared how the gospel is given to us and our mortal lives are given to us to allow us to have joy - he said it gave him hope to know there's a way out of it. We're teaching him now too so that's great. And the weirdest part of this week was some College of the Bahamas (COB) nursing students doing a presentation on the nutrition of Mormons and having us come to their class to answer questions. That was strange - I can't describe how strange that was if I tried. Good thing I know my word of wisdom doctrine, sheesh.<br />
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Living with a companion is difficult at times. There are times where you just want to be alone, but they're always there. It gets to a point where even their breathing or swallowing annoys you. It is those times where you just have to go to your happy place, say a prayer, think about something positive you like about them, and move on. It has been a crazy thing not being alone. In fact, tomorrow I will be alone on the plane and in the airport for about five hours - for the first time since the end of March. Talk about trippin'. We went bowling this week with the Ockeys though and allow me to say that was dang fun. I love bowling.<br />
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My heroes this week are Peter, Alma the Younger, Moroni, and the Savior (of course). I'm almost done with the Book of Mormon and Jesus the Christ. I'll finish them tomorrow during the trip I hope. I'm Peter. I don't care to elaborate on that, but let's just say that I am and through that comparison I've found solace and hope and an increase of faith. That leads me to lessons that I have learned this week.<br />
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The first is the parable of the unjust steward - we can take a lesson from those not-so-righteous people in power, in that if they lust after money and power so much and DON'T have God on their side and yet still attain so much influence in the world, how much more should the righteous seek after righteousness and strive to obtain a position of influence not for money but for the moving forward of the work of God. It is the same principle that if we don't teach the children then the world will - if we do not strive for temporal success the world will - and if we could use that success for righteousness wouldn't that be so much better than what the world uses it for? I guess I just learned that God gave us this world - He gave us the things in it - not everything that isn't of an eternal nature is wicked - it is instituted for our benefit, but only if we use it for our benefit.<br />
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The second lesson is that our faith is measured by quality, not quantity. I'll let you ponder that for yourself.<br />
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Third it is a good idea for us to always pray not to enter into temptation. We can pray not to be tempted, but that's inevitable. Instead we should pray not to give heed to the temptation -- pray to never fall away from that which we know is good and true. A member here, Sis. Capita, said because she's seen so many of her friends fall away from the church, she prays every night that that won't happen to her. I'd never even thought to pray about that -- and believe me, it is a GOOD THING for us to pray for. None of us are immune to personal apostasy - not a single one. But we have to be careful not to be like the Pharisee and pray to not be as wicked as so-and-so, but pray instead as the Publican, recognizing we are sinful and completely reliant on the Lord's grace.<br />
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Fourth, after reading Mosiah 2:17 as if I had read it for the first time, I realized the importance of callings! I can't wait to have a calling when I go home and actually do it the way the Lord wants it to get done. Man, I scraped by in my callings before my mission. I'm ready to remedy that. We should be eager to help - and sad if we don't have a calling! Callings are merely the Lord's way of furthering His work here, and we are privileged to be instruments in that work. We watched the worldwide leadership broadcast, and it made it so clear how important our callings are and how much the Lord loves His children - that all of this is given to us to help us - and that everything the leaders of the church do is for our benefit. Of course, imperfect people hold callings - so sometimes we have leaders that we just cannot understand why they're given the opportunity to serve. But I've learned service is much more for the person serving than it is for the people they serve. I'm the biggest convert on my mission. So it goes. All the more reason why we, if given the chance to serve, must do it the Lord's way and with all our heart.<br />
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Fifth, the gospel is a gospel of sacrifice. It is necessary, seeing as the entire crux of the plan of salvation is the sacrifice of the Savior. If we are not sacrificing, if we are ever comfortable and not sacrificing something, we are not doing enough. I've applied this to me, and tried to analyze what I need to do to sacrifice more. There's a lot I need to do - I got way too comfortable here. I've contemplated about the temple and the covenants I made regarding sacrifice. I'm trying to check my sacrifice status.<br />
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Sixth, I have learned I had a testimony, but I was not converted to that testimony. Studying conversion in conference talks, in True to the Faith, and in the scriptures has given me a better understanding of that principle. A testimony is not enough - you can have a testimony and still waver depending on your circumstances (ie my whole life). Conversion is consistently living true to what you know. Are you converted? I know I'm not - but I'm working on it. <br />
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Alright, well I think that's about it. Doctrine and Covenants 108 was an answer to my prayers this week. Read it, it's a good one.<br />
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As always I leave you a commitment that I hope you accept.<br />
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Read this talk:<br />
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http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1298-17,00.html<br />
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"Come unto Me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal you" by Patrick Kearon<br />
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Be good and know that I love you. I know the church is true. I know the Priesthood of God has been restored to this earth in our day - I know that Thomas S. Monson is our living prophet and speaks for the Lord. I know that this is Christ's church - and that through His Atonement all of us, each and every one, can be saved through our obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel and our Savior's amazing grace. I know that He can heal us. I know that the Book of Mormon is a witness of that, and it is the word of God.<br />
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Bien choisir!<br />
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xx<br />
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Sister Payne <br />
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Wa'gwaan Family, Friends, and Fans ?? <br />
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Erry'ting irie? It's good to be back in Jamaica. The Lord knew what he was doing sending me to Mandeville - this place is off the chain. Here's a brief account of my experiences coming back:<br />
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At the airport in Nassau I was treated like a spy by the U.S Dept of Security. They opened and searched my suitcases which I found out via a nice little note in my bag, they pulled me out of each line to give me a special scan of my carry on bags and gloved-pat-down. On the tarmac I was interviewed by some Law&Order type fellow who asked me the most random questions of all time. After this I realized I was dressed like Dana Scully, and next time I shall try to look less FBI when I fly. I laughed about it when all was said and done - and I'm glad that people are doing their job and checking stuff. If they're checking me, then I assume they're checking the dangerous ones as well.<br />
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The flight felt long and it was weird being alone. When I landed in MoBay it was HOT. Yikes. That night I went around with Sis. Wilkinson to see some of her recent converts. MoBay is a crazy dirty busy city and I'm sure I'll serve there eventually. It gave me a little jolt just being back in all of that. Sis. W was right at home though - she and I have had a very different past six months. Jamaica is an acquired taste, I'll just put it that way. I'm learning to love it again. We drove to Mandeville. Driving in Jamaica is more difficult - tons of potholes, lots of traffic and narrow roads, and the steering wheel is on the right. Driving thy name is anxiety -- but I've managed. Mandeville is up in the hills and it is gorgeous. It is cool and breezy, not hot at all. It is still hard to find people because of the way the houses here are built and the addresses are. The branch I'm in is the oldest on the island and we have some Jamaican pioneers in our branch which is super awesome. We have a district here which is cool. Our zone is HUGE - it includes MayPen, Sav la Mar, Hopeton, us, Negril, and Santa Cruz. Our zone leaders are Elder Caplan and Elder Rebeiro (who was my zone leader when I was in Lucea). We have new office elders. The last ones must have been less valiant in the premortal life cause they were in there forever .... j/k. The Andersons are the senior couple here and they had us over for dinner last night. They're from Utah - super cool people. The retention here is super poor - we're at 1 for 7. I left Nassau at 9 for 24. It is a big change - and we have a lot of work ahead of us but I'm looking forward to it. Struggling areas are my forte.<br />
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The members have already reached out to us. We've met some of the recent converts and less actives and had lessons with them. The Primary program was yesterday at church and it was so cute! They did so well, memorizing scriptures and everything. I was immensely impressed. There was a soloist singing all the songs and the rest of the primary was like a backup choir. It was pretty hilarious. Our first day in the area we parked down town and got a boot on our car. That was totally rich. Thank goodness the Lord was looking out for us and we got the only nice parking violation ticket giver man on the island and he took it off for us. Our apartment was horrible. I would send pictures but I think it may give you nightmares. Elders must not have cleaned that thing since the 90s -- it was a horror movie and we spent two days deep cleaning it. I got really sick for the first time on my mission afterwards -- upchucking throughout the night. All is well now and I feel 100%. It was a horrible experience though -- puking in a dark dirty bathroom at 3 am. I recommend it to no one. Sis. W was great the entire time though - making me some peppermint tea and medicating me with some peppermint oils and random jazz and staying up with me til I fell asleep again. Nothing like nausea to cement a good companionship.<br />
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Sis. Wilkinson is 22 - she's from Morgan, Utah. She's the 2nd of 5 kids - has a man at home that she left to come on a mission - studied and got some dental hygienist training as well as her CNA before he mission. She likes the rocket summer and snowboarding, so needless to say we get along well. She can talk just as much as me too, which is impressive. She told me something I didn't know before. A sister came out here, Sis. Israelson from Salt Lake Utah. She was to be a new sister to the mission. She lasted approx. 1 day and left and is now serving in St. George. Poor gal. Just a little glimpse into the type of missionary that is required for such a unique mission ;)<br />
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The Sorensons, the new senior couple in MoBay, go out and visit Lucea often. They had some depressing news to say the least. None of the members in Lucea come to church anymore. The church pays for their taxi to come on fast sunday, and still none of them come. Bro. McLean has gone basically anti since the branch was shut down - too offended and angry to even have anything to do with the church anymore, and he's sought to encourage the other members to feel the same as him. Eddie said he's quitting the church. Karl hasn't come out since the branch shut down. The only one who has is Sis. Chambers, and even then only on a rare occasion. That news hit me like a ton of bricks -- but I did everything I could in that area. I can't spend the rest of my mission worrying about how those people use their agency.<br />
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I've noticed how sisters have a battle of the mind - and elders have a battle of the body. I think that's because they don't use their mind, lol. So Satan doesn't bother gettin in their cause all he'll find are cobwebs! Ha! Meanwhile the adversary's #1 tool against sisters is gettin into our thoughts - making us hate our doubt ourselves, feel discouraged, fear, etc etc. I wish I could shut my brain off sometimes -- most of the time actually. If only, eh?<br />
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Does anyone know what the Moravian church is? They're all over here - and we have no clue what they are or what they believe or anything.<br />
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I finished Jesus the Christ. Now onto the New Testament - just in time for Christmas. I love learning because the quest is neverending. You can never know everything, so there's always something else to learn!<br />
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Last but not least,<br />
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING! <br />
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Our plans include a whole lot of nothing. The Senior couples are having a big dinner in Kingston together. I believe we will be having Ramen, haha. One thing we are gonna try to do though is make cards with scriptures about thanksgiving and gratitude to give to people on the street, and try to make some sandwiches to give to the homeless people around our area. We're looking forward to that.<br />
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This year I am thankful for so much. Obviously for the Savior, for His gospel, for the Priesthood and the restoration, for the scriptures, for my family, for the opportunity to serve a mission, and for everything that brings joy and love and light into my life. I am grateful for the atonement, for the chance I have to improve and for this 2nd chance God has given me to change my life. Most of all this year however I'm thankful for my health and safety. I have been lucky - in the midst of illness, pain, sorrow, death, despair all around me - I have been blessed with great health, with freedom to move and live as I please, with continued safety in the midst of danger, and with 23 glorious years on this earth of which I am so undeserving. I have idled so much of my time and taken for granted the blessing of my life. This year I am grateful to be young and alive and living my dreams. <br />
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Remember, "we can't become what we need to be by remaining what we are ..." - Oprah Winfrey.<br />
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I love you all. Happy Holidays and have a great week!<br />
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<3<br />
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Sister Payne <br />
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**Have you sent Sister Payne a letter yet? Her contact info is on the right- send her a note!Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-87777945276991775882010-10-04T10:32:00.000-07:002010-10-04T10:32:46.317-07:00The Only Con I Love More than Comic Con is Gen-Con!Hey hey hey Family, Friends and Fans --<br />
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Apparently a lot more people read these e-mails than I thought. I hope they are of some worth, and most importantly I hope they effectively invite anyone reading to 'come unto Christ'. After all, that is my purpose.<br />
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I'll start off by going over the basics of the week. Monday night Sis. Ockey made me a customized birthday dinner. I ate like a champion. Yum! We had a baptism Tuesday night. Jean Max Alexis, who is the coolest, was baptized and everything went great. After that, our week kinda tanked. Wednesday I took Sis. Smith out for lunch (for my birthday, lol) and we ate at Twin Brothers - world famous at the Fish Fry at Arawak Cay. We had conch fritters, broiled grouper, and cracked lobster. Once again, we ate like champions. Unfortunately we brought the grouper home and nuked it in the microwave the next day and then our entire house smelled like fish for four days. That is a lesson learned ... never again, never again.<br />
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I can't believe I've been out six months now. It feels closer to three months. So if that ratio continues I guess after this is all said and done it'll only feel like nine months. Good times. There's not much else to say and not much else exciting that happened this week in the realm of actual events. We did get hit by tropical storm Nicole, but nothing major other than lots of rain and wind. Transfers are coming, but we haven't heard anything so I guess we're staying here another six weeks. Sis. Smith and I have been together 24 hours a day 7 days a week for six months. Needless to say the honeymoon is over - but we're working on it and I'm learning valuable lessons in companionship and patience and charity.<br />
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Now onto the insights. I read an article by David A. Bednar about how the Holy Ghost answers us "line upon line, and precept upon precept". It rocked my world. It started out with a question he received all the time -- "how do I know if the answer is from the Spirit or if it is just from me?" Man, who DOESN'T ask themselves that all the time? He went on to say the Lord's pattern for revealing truth is not like the stories of Paul and Alma the Younger of Joseph Smith. Those are the exception, not the norm. For us, more often than not, it comes a little at a time - through a prompting, a scripture, a conversation, a lesson, a feeling ... until it culminates in our answer. The Lord trusts us to use our agency righteously and have it confirmed through the Spirit. Anyway, it changed my outlook on a few things to say the least.<br />
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I loved getting the October Liahona. I read it in two days. I miss the temple! I especially loved the article by Howard W. Hunter about being a temple-motivated people. That is a goal for me and my future family - look to the temple! Definetely snag that issue if you have not already, it is amazing and has beautiful pictures and counsel!<br />
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I noticed something. You know when your friend buys a car, and you never noticed that car before but now that you have a friend who owns it you see it everywhere you go? So it goes with studying a particular gospel principle. Once you study something, or the Spirit brings to your mind a new understanding from something you've read before, you begin to see it and hear it in everything you experience. For example, after reading about the temples I recognized references and ties to temple work in every lesson! I realized how lucky we are to have a temple so close to us back home. The members here have to travel to Orlando to go to the temple - and few have the money to make the trip. The members in Jamaica have to go to the Dominican Republic. It is not easy. They go once a year, if that. And to think, I had a temple fifteen minutes away but I barely made it once a month.<br />
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Something I realized when I was driving home one night is, we often think of our legacy and how grateful we are to be included in such a work that ties back all the way to Joseph Smith. We think of the pioneers, how this work is greater than us but goes back to those suffering saints in Nauvoo and Missouri and Kirtland. What we too often fail to realize is that this is bigger than that! It extends all the way back to the pre-mortal life! This gospel, our discipleship, is the same that Christ established, that Paul and Peter followed, that Noah and Moses preached and that Adam established! It is the same that we all shouted for joy over before we ever came here. Yes, our footsteps are along side the early saints, but they are alongside many generations and dispensations before that. How great is our duty and privelege to be numbered with such! It is remarkable.<br />
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I have struggled with some discouragement, depression, and lack of motivation over the past couple months. But I can testify that Gordon B. Hinckley's father's advice to "forget yourself and go to work" is a sure fire cure and the only cure I've found to help me endure to the end. I think we can apply that in more than just missionary work. Forgetting ourself is key.<br />
That leads me to General Conference. I loved the talks - specifically Christofferson's and Uchtdorf's. I learned so much both days. I wish Conference was every weekend! Here are some themes I noticed throughout the course of both days: the importance of our influence in the communities around us (shoutout from Elder Cook to William Wilberforce! What what!), the importance of the righteous use of our agency, and of course safeguarding ourselves and our families against the evil influences of the world.<br />
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A couple things really stood out to me. The first was an underlying theme of 'beware of lackadaisical discipleship'. Many times before my mission I didn't want to be "super Mormon" and read my scriptures 'too much' or 'magnify' my calling or whatever. My faith was more just another part of who I am, rather than a CENTRAL part of who I am. I noticed many talks about our agency and guarding against sin talked about the need to commit ourselves to FERVENT prayer rather than just praying and scripture STUDY rather than just reading our scriptures -- WORSHIPPING at church rather than just attending, and having CHARITY rather than just caring. <br />
Another thing was the plague of pride. Basically everything talked about could tie to pride. Whether it was our pride leading us to addiction, preventing us from repenting, being afraid of being judged by our children for firm parenting, or not being grateful enough for the things and life that we have ... all of it could be tied to pride. I had read Alma 5 yesterday morning, and realized pride is not just merely exalting ourselves above other people. I think we naturally assume we are humble if we don't talk down to others or wear costly apparel. But we can be proud and poor - we can be proud and pleasant toward others. Pride is anytime we trust in ourselves more than we trust in God. I am guilty of pride in many many many ways that I am just now realizing. I'm not too proud to admit it! ;) I am working on becoming more humble, and trusting in the Lord with all my heart, and leaning not unto my own understanding - knowing that if I can humble myself before Him, He will direct my paths and make my weaknesses strengths.<br />
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Last but not least, I feel that so many of us are great at being Mormons - making the centerpieces and the jello, showing up for our meetings, blogging about church and babies -- but so many of us could be a lot better at being Christians. Don't forget - Jesus Christ is the center! We only do anything we do in the church because of Him! My commitment and challenge to all reading, and myself, is to ask ourselves how well do we really know the Savior? Have we served Him? Is He in our minds and in our hearts? Read Mosiah 5:13, and make conference your study guide for the next six months. Draw closer to our Redeemer, and seek to truly understand why this gospel and this church really matters. <br />
Love you all! We're gonna take a chill day today and do nothing. Ah, sa ce'st la vie.<br />
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Til next time,<br />
Sister Payne<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlxnvx6v8oSCeaAR_g3ru2i7eORZ_SBhBHZnW-ZLbukEzHwU9hO_pZ2gFcoT70b83QbPbeM34eBiFbq_jxUWxlvv75XYX_2H8GeFq39Eslx-jmAlArocJ3AY-F4jrLj7yb6N59hNz7ezm5/s1600/DSCN4136.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlxnvx6v8oSCeaAR_g3ru2i7eORZ_SBhBHZnW-ZLbukEzHwU9hO_pZ2gFcoT70b83QbPbeM34eBiFbq_jxUWxlvv75XYX_2H8GeFq39Eslx-jmAlArocJ3AY-F4jrLj7yb6N59hNz7ezm5/s320/DSCN4136.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-88374450918888751432010-09-29T07:24:00.000-07:002010-09-29T07:24:40.894-07:00Happy Birthday Sister Payne!<div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Hey All!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's Sister Payne's Birthday TODAY!!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">WHOOOT WHOOOT! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Please email her, or send her a little card if you haven't done so already. Her contact information is on the right sidebar!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">-Ashlee</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">*****</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Lives of great men all remind us we can make our lives sublime, and departing, leave behind us footprints in the sands of time." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">A great big happy hello to you Family, Friends, and Fans --</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">Your commitment this fine week is to read "May We So Live" by President Monson, and apply it in your lives.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=8669dd48c4a6b110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">Hopefully that link works.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">That and much other parts of this email are in honor of Ashleigh - one year tomorrow - where does the time go? Allow me to share with you a couple brief lessons Ashleigh's life has taught me. The first is that I have long had a fear of being average ... I have felt for some time that ... I'm awesome, for lack of a better word, and because of that I must spend my time on this earth doing just absolutely awesome things. That has led me to want to become the first woman in the NBA, to want to be a comedian, a screenwriter, a novelist, a rockstar. I have learned that we are not WHAT we do - we are HOW we do what we do. For example, Ashleigh lived a simple life, but she did so extraordinarily. She was an outstanding person, in every aspect - every role she fulfilled she did so to the enth degree. She was not average, and yet she wasn't famous or a millionaire. That taught me a great lesson in how I live my life.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">The other lesson is that we must each find out for ourselves the role that Heavenly Father expects us to play in this life. It will not be the same, for we are each invidividuals and God has created us for a unique purpose. One person may be destined to bring light to the world through science, another through politics, another through raising a wonderful family, another through preaching the gospel, etc etc. It's up to us to strive to find out what our talents are, use our agency to pursue a course that will be most beneficial and please our Heavenly Father, and then give it all we've got, so at the end we can all say, as Ashleigh did, that we've done what God asked us to do and we don't have any regrets. 2 Tim 4:7.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">Other lessons I have learned this week - our agency is like money. If we use our money wisely, we will never be limited by how we can spend it. We'll always have a plethora of options. If we blow our money, we no longer can choose what we spend it on. So it goes with our agency - if we use it wisely we'll always have a number of great options to choose from. If we don't, we'll be enslaved to a choice not of our choosing. Think the Word of Wisdom -- if we choose to follow it, we can choose to do a number of things with our great health. But if we choose to smoke, and get lung cancer, how many choices are taken out of our hands!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've also learned the importance of scripture study -- not just reading, but really studying! I was reading Mosiah 3 and 4 one morning and thinking "Y'know, I would've avoided a lot of pitfalls if I just would have had this stuff etched onto my memory and into my heart!" That comes through truly feasting upon the words of Christ -- when we study every day, we'll remember those things because we'll have just read them! We'll be able to hold fast amidst the loud noise of the world. Reading in the morning has really helped too - because then what I just read is on my mind throughout the day, as opposed to right before I go to bed and then I go to sleep and forget it all by morning. It really has made a huge impact.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've been making an extra effort to recognize and follow the Spirit. It has paid off a couple times -- little instances like when we are impressed to talk to someone, and they blow us off but then someone else walks up and talks to us. To think what would have happened if we just kept walking and never stopped for that first person! Or also, in a lesson with a less-active the other day, we were going to teach the 10 virgins parable ... it is what we had prepared, but right as we pulled up I kept thinking "sacrament ... sacrament" .... so we taught sacrament, and it was a totally spiritual lesson, and she was at church on Sunday. Miracles happen everyday in the mission field.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">We had 15 people at our English class - that's tripled since our first one! In a lesson this week Prague told us he really felt the Holy Ghost, even though it was just his living room. That was rad. And Jean Max told us in a lesson to be sure that we gave him a commitment before we left. Cool, right? Jean Max is being interviewed tonight for his baptism tomorrow. I know all will go well!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I had a dream about Joseph Smith swashbuckling some zombies. Don't even ask. We went tracting this week - only like 2 people answered their doors. I had escovitzch fish this week, and didn't hate it. Tonight Sis. Ockey is making me a custom birthday dinner - she basically took my order - so we're having lobster, mashed potatoes, steamed veggies and creme brulee for dessert! Am I excited? Oh yes. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">We meet the coolest people ever here. One guy we met yesterday, a less active named Joanel -- well, he's been prepared to be brought back to church. He's been out for YEARS because he made some bad mistakes, it made him ashamed, and he quit coming. He says he always has known the church is true, but he couldn't bring himself to come back. In our lesson, he kept saying how happy he was to see us and how he can't wait to come to conference this weekend. He just kept saying "I'm ready... I'm ready" ... coolest! Haitians are so rad, p.s I'm gonna miss the heck outta them. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've got 18+ songs now that are complete with lyrics and melody and I've recorded the sound bytes on my digital camera so I don't forget them when I get home. It's ridiculous, some days I write three songs in one day! There's neverending inspiration out here, and I'm grateful to Heavenly Father for letting me keep something I love to do so much.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">A mission is the best time to receive personal revelation. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I leave you with the scripture of the day:</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">2 cor 4:5, 8-10</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">5 For we apreach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your bservants for Jesus’ sake. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">8 We are atroubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in bdespair; </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">9 aPersecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not bdestroyed; </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">I love you all! Enjoy the pictures, we just took them a couple hours ago at cabbage beach on paradise island.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><3 Sister Payne</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Oh. Ps here are some lyrics to a song I wrote about Ashleigh on 9.16.10.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's called Carry On.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">v1</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">the seconds tick away on that watch you gave to me</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">time stares me in the face</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">i know im out here cause that's what you would have told me to do</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">if only i could tell you</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">chorus</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">its hard to believe you're really gone</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">hard to believe its been so long</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">its hard to believe but your memory</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">it carries on and we carry on</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">carry on</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">v2</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">you know im glad that - that you got to see me play</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">im glad i got to say goodbye</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">you know i wish that - that i can live a life half as great</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">as the one you left behind</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">chorus</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">bridge</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">and everytime i check the mail i remember that night at the hospital</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">sometimes i wish i could forget</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">and everytime i hear wonderwall i wonder why this life has to be so hard</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">you were so young - and had so much</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">and utah will always feel so cold to me</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">but arizona will always hold your legacy</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">you live on</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">rock on</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">and save a place for me</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">v3</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">four faces - they still shine with your light</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">a light brighter than the sun</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">their handprints are - reminders of an angel we knew</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">who went back home</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">chorus</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">outro</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">even though you're not here you're not far</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">we always say you were, but you are. </div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjVZLoG3bBZvD5yxYiuTQe51H0JRATv7roupdD1kWBbIW4FSFasAYrvOMscZmvbQvtysWZejT8TrnJgPGaJUnF8Gn1x_dxLS4FHzuvSjnJlfR2ooVWw401IRwdYhv8cMhFFkSvlcdBflIA/s1600/DSCN4118.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjVZLoG3bBZvD5yxYiuTQe51H0JRATv7roupdD1kWBbIW4FSFasAYrvOMscZmvbQvtysWZejT8TrnJgPGaJUnF8Gn1x_dxLS4FHzuvSjnJlfR2ooVWw401IRwdYhv8cMhFFkSvlcdBflIA/s320/DSCN4118.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-53499370177830860872010-09-22T21:08:00.000-07:002010-09-22T21:08:24.021-07:00From Sister Payne to You!Well Hello There Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Welcome to the September 20th edition of Sister Payne's missionary musings. I hope you will find this both educational and entertaining. Or at least time consuming.<br />
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First off, we had a double dip this weekend - both Clarissa and Prague were baptized! It was thoroughly enjoyable. We had the entire Haitian Coalition out in full force at Prague's baptism - lots of support. It was a good week. I'd like to have that happen more often. I have a real testimony of two things: the first, that baptisms are just the beginning. Before your mission or in the MTC you think baptisms are just it - its what its all about. Really though, when I'll be REALLY REALLY stoked is when I come back a year from now and all our converts are still active and fulfilling their callings. Second, that this is the Lord's work - not ours. We haven't done anything to find any of these people, they've all been brought to us. I'm okay with that. I'm happy to know the Lord trusts me enough to send His children my way. Prague's roommate Jean Max has a baptism date as well - for the 28th. He was at the baptism, and at church, and is really looking forward to it. Apparently, people from Jeremie Chambellan Haiti are just the coolest. <br />
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When we teach them, we have to bring a translator. We've been bringing Sis. Dauphin - an amazing woman who seriously has Emma Smith like trials. She was kidnapped on her mission in Haiti. And she was raised in a very cold adoptive family. And her husband is less active, and she had a companion who held her at knife point on her mission and ran away like seven times, and she had tons of very close friends die in the earthquake in port au paix. Through it all, she's stellarly active, has such a strong testimony, and has gone out teaching with us every single day this week. She is SO awesome. People like her are why my mission is the best mission in the world.<br />
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What else what else ... I had a bunch of killer ants attack my legs this week during a lesson. I looked like a leper. That was unfortunate. I learned that 70% of male RMs have temple marriages, whereas 5% of guys who don't serve missions have temple marriages. That was a staggering statistic. We had one promising investigator tell us that his pastor told him we're a cult and worship Joseph Smith so he refuses to meet with us now. We had another promising investigator tell us she doesn't want to meet with us anymore because "everything she wanted to know about the church she found on the internet". There is always a struggle here. <br />
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We had a great church service yesterday. Sacrament meeting was inspiring, as a young man gave a talk then his mom got up and said that up until that morning he'd told his parents he wasn't gonna talk - he refused - but that they'd been praying and they knew the Lord softened his heart that he woke up Sunday morning and said, okay ... I'm speaking. It was a really moving morning. <br />
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I've been working on increasing my charity. I really do feel like it needs to be my #1 priority at this point, and it is going to help solve a lot of the problems I've been having. Increased love for the Lord = increased love for His children = increased love for the work. As a missionary, you don't have any external motivators. At home you go to work to get paid, or you do something to be rewarded externally in some way, like go to school to get the degree. That doesn't exist out here - you need to be completely internally motivated. So I've been thinking alot how I can do that.. it seems foreign to me. But I realized my #1 internal motivator is love - the love I have for my family, for learning, for music, for those in my life - it inspires me to work hard and to pursue things. So if I can have that same passion and love, but have it more like the pure love of Christ - I can be really successful.<br />
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1 cor 13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not acharity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. <br />
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Love is the answer!<br />
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Okay your commitments this week are VERY IMPORTANT. General conference is coming (I CANT WAIT). So your 1st commitment is to watch all four session (5 if you're a priesthood holder). Tivo it, do whatever you need to WATCH all of them. 2nd commitment is equally as important - write down 5 questions that you really want to know the answers to, then take notes during conference and FIND YOUR ANSWERS! I can testify from personal experience, this works. It changed the way I look at conference - it helped me so much - inspired me so much. I cannot wait for conference I'm counting down the days, because I have burning questions about my life and about the gospel and about the future that I need answers to, and I know the Lord will answer them through his servants.<br />
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Other scriptures of the week include:<br />
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1 cor 9:16 For though I preach the agospel, I have nothing to glory of: for bnecessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I cpreach not the gospel! <br />
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and Gal 1:10 For do I now apersuade men, or God? or do I seek to bplease men? for if I yet cpleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ. <br />
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To go along with that, a quote:<br />
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"there is no mortal man that is so much interested in the success of a missionary when he/she is preaching the gospel as the Lord that send him/her to preach to the people who are the Lord's children" - Lorenzo Snow.<br />
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Music is a must. I have written a ridiculous amount of songs and will continue to do so. We're off to the beach.<br />
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Have a great week everyone. The church is true!<br />
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<3<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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PICTURES:<br />
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4025: sis smith's a hasidic mormon<br />
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4028: hayley the brave's motto<br />
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4034: beautiful bahamas<br />
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4053: us with clarissa<br />
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4067: us with prague<br />
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4070: sis smith doing her best robert deniro<br />
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lyrics of the week from a future album i will record that is all inspired by tv a movies called "raised on television" ;)<br />
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this one's called "you've got mail"<br />
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written 7.5.10<br />
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v1<br />
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im livin in your letters<br />
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every word puts air into my lungs<br />
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im tryin not to show it but i<br />
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wish that i could hear the words rollin' off your tongue<br />
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the keys are cold<br />
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tryin to hold my entire heart and soul<br />
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so much empty space<br />
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but all i wanna do is see your face<br />
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prechorus<br />
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growin up i always dreamed about<br />
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the kinda man id write home about<br />
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chorus<br />
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i wanted it to be you - i wanted it to be you so badly<br />
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i wanted it to be you - i wanted it to be you so badly<br />
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v2<br />
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you know what they say <br />
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enough time will wound all hearts<br />
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there's some truth anyway<br />
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the longer the time spent that we're apart<br />
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they say it never works<br />
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fallin' in love a different way<br />
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but then you still my heart and baby<br />
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i don't really care what they say<br />
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prechorus<br />
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cant wait til i finally look in your eyes<br />
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as you wipe away my tears <br />
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and tell me not to cry<br />
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chorus<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://mail.google.com/mail/?attid=0.6&disp=emb&view=att&th=12b2fa11b297ec05" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" px="true" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?attid=0.6&disp=emb&view=att&th=12b2fa11b297ec05" width="320" /></a></div> Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-65744021570391055172010-09-18T14:46:00.000-07:002010-09-18T14:46:06.095-07:00JDRF Walk to cure Diabetes!<div style="text-align: center;">Sister Payne's awesome neice Summer was diagnosed with diabetes at just four years old. </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Diabetes means more than just getting shots for the rest of your life.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Learn more about it, and use this <a href="http://walk.jdrf.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=extranet.personalpage&confirmid=87633295">LINK</a> to donate to our fundraising</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">team. We are dedicated to helping researchers find a cure.</div>Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-42411564552538491232010-08-22T18:21:00.000-07:002010-08-22T18:21:39.767-07:00Updates from Sister Payne!Hey there Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Not much to write about this week which I guess is good cause I don't have much time. This week has been <not surprisingly="">a slow one, but I shall try my best to entertain and enlighten your Monday.<br />
I have been writing better lyrics out here than I think I have my entire life. I have melodies constantly running through my head, and sometimes I have let myself get frustrated with the fact that I can't be making and recording music right now. But, I recognize that I am only blessed to be able to write this much because of the calling which I have right now. The Lord always blesses us to be able to achieve our righteous desires when we align our will with His. I've even been doodling album art work. I already have a plan for two full length CDs when I get home. One, entitled "Seasons", will be about the whirlwind of change I will have experienced at the end of this all. And the other, "Raised on Television", will all be songs inspired by tv shows or movies. I look forward to that, but right now I really enjoy being able to purge out all these thoughts and emotions I'm going through in writing.<br />
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I have many book ideas too. My first order of biz is to write the book for sister missionaries -- "The Road Less Travelled: A Survival Guide for Sister Missionaries" ... but I also want to write about rising to meet our potential as children of God, how the gospel is the source for peace in a politically turbulent world, and who knows what all else. What can I say, I love to write! But whatever the Lord has in store for me is what I plan on doing.<br />
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I have attempted a feat here reading Ensigns and Liahonas ... all of them, and we have some here dating back to 2004. I think I've read about 20 or so, and I've got about 35-40 to go. It really is an awesome experience though, those things are gold mines. I'm highlighting and writing stuff down like crazy, and finding answers to my prayers in the pages.<br />
I've been working on exact, 100% obedience this week and it really has improved. I know the Lord has blessed me in my efforts to get up on time. That has been a struggle my entire mission up to this point, and continues to be but now going on the 8th day in a row I've been up on time and out of bed. Now I'm working on getting out of bed, and staying out of bed. Baby steps!<br />
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They called a branch mission leader ... WAHOO! We have our first meeting with him, Bro. Cherenfant, on Wednesday. He's excited and has great ideas and I know the work will improve drastically with him on board. We are currently planning a fireside for the 19th with President Hendricks (the mission president) and Elder Wilford W. Anderson of the Seventy, who is in the Caribbean Area Presidency. That is gonna be a great day, and we're gonna have an open house in September that is going to be advertised on "Bahamas at Sunrise" -- a local news show in the mornings. Fingers crossed everything will go smoothly with the coming events. <br />
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No one in the Caribbean has jobs, I swear. Either there are too many people here or just not enough jobs, I don't know but pretty much everyone we talk to is struggling financially, facing eviction, living without power or transportation ... It all makes my struggles seem very very small in comparison to everything they face. Of course you get the people who are in those situations because they have no initiative to get out of them, but that's not the case with all of them. We just keep seeking out service opportunities and promising them blessings that will come through righteousness, and on the Lord's time.<br />
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This is somewhat of a low point in my mission. I have had many the emotional struggle over the past week, and I think a few times I've driven Sis. Smith crazy with my negativity. As the work struggles, it puts a minor strain on our companionship. Stress induces that, as you can tell in any companionship in life. But we're friends, so we always work through it. My faith is not as strong as it needs to be, but its not shaken either. I know I am where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and I know that the Lord lets us experience the lows so that we appreciate the highs.<br />
All is well. I'm setting tons continuous goals for during my mission and after. I'm doing something Sis. Smith showed me -- I make a T-chart, title the chart for whatever goal I want to reach, and then on the left I title it "What i'm going to do to achieve it" and on the right I title it "how it will bless others" .. It is a lot harder than it seems but I keep pluckin away at it and it really helps to put lofty goals into a realistic, reachable, and spiritual perspective. I continue to journal everyday. Haven't missed a day since I've been out -- after all, we are a record keeping people.<br />
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All my love to everyone back home. Enjoy the sun while I enjoy the rain.<br />
XoXo,<br />
Sister Payne <br />
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Prepare Family, Friends, and Fans --- <br />
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For random thoughts times a billion. HERE WE GO!<br />
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1) Elder Stringham, an older elder from 2007, was honeymooning here and came and stopped by our apartment to say hi. It is weird to see people after their missions. You can't really imagine life after this, or what it will be like, cause your mind is so focused on the mission. It kinda tripped me out. And I was wearing a towel on my head. His wife looked at me like I was a huge doof. But whatever.<br />
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2) We've had a busier week at least. A lot busier. We started making new branch lists, with information and maps and directions for each branch member. That's for all 625 members! It is a great feat to attempt, but someone HAS to do it. So much time is spent here just trying to figure stuff out and find people. If future missionaries just have all the info at their disposal they can get to work immediately. It will be worth it when it is done. Most people we have no idea who they are, so it is pretty easy to fill out their information, lol.<br />
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3) We've set great goals for the month of September. Our goal is to have 4 baptisms that month, and report an average of 3 investigators with a date every week. Our whole zone is working toward these goals. It will be a stretch, but it is doable. We are having a hard time getting people to listen to us -- we feel cause we're sisters, and they're so used to elders it isn't going exactly the same. But as long as things get better and not worse, we'll be okay. Bro. Major flaked out on us all week. It was basically a heartbreaking experience. We're not giving up. He knows its true. He's ready. Heavenly Father has prepared him, many many many times. He's gotta take the step, and we've gotta help him.<br />
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4) Bro. Rio, a member from Haiti ... he's the coolest guy ever. I can't even describe, he is just awesome. That's all I can really say about that.<br />
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5) We found a Jesus the Christ audio CD so that's what we've been listening to in our car. THAT IS INTENSE. We're constantly stopping it and talking about it, like "what in the world did he just say?" The guy who does the voice, the reading, sounds like the guy who voices the "dead men tell no tales" part of the Pirates ride at Disneyland, so that's entertaining. <br />
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6) I got elected to join the branch choir. I didn't even want to, lol. And I'm singing alto no less - which is great for my voice, but so hard cause I've just been singing soprano, or the melody, my entire life. We sang in sacrament meeting yesterday. Thank goodness I had another alto with me. If left to my own devices I totally mess up. But it went well, and Bro. Bazard, the choir director, told me I have a beautiful voice. Can't complain. We're singing at the Fireside on thursday - with the mission president and Elder Wilford W. Anderson from the Seventy -- exciting right? Make that 2 general authorities I get to meet! woot woot. I'm so excited. And I decided I'm gonna get into the ward choir when I get home. Why the heck not? Singing is singing, and I can use the practice!<br />
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7) I made a phone call in Creole. Man, that was rough. The first half went smooth, the second half was bad. Still got more to learn.<br />
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8) We met a girl, Renetta, friend of Morris. She's rad and we're teaching her this week. Expect good things. She came to church yesterday. We also met T-Joe, a former investigator who never came to church because of work. But he came up to us at church yesterday and said "I need to meet with you. This is my church and I want to come back" -- expect great things.<br />
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9) My faith increased this week and I had many cool realizations and learning experiences. How greatful I am for the examples of Oliver Cowdery and Nephi. Oliver messed up, and we learned from it, when the Lord told him he couldn't just ask and expect but he had to study it out first. Nephi was pondering about Lehi's teachings when he was caught up in the Spirit and then was revealed more mysteries of God. What a great example for us to learn from, and to follow!<br />
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10) I have realized that the Book of Mormon rings more true the darker the world gets. No wonder it was saved to come forth in our day. Look around - the wickedness, the idolatry, the contention, the disbelief -- we are all Nephites and Lamanites. The Book of Mormon truly is the iron rod, and I know that it will be that much more important in the coming days. How thankful I am - what a blessing the book is - that we have something so clear to hold on to .. for dear life, if needs be.<br />
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11) It is starting to feel like home here. I feel like this branch is my home branch. It will be hard to leave.<br />
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12) I found great advice for singles in an Ensign that I wanted to share. Even though all my friends are getting married, I still have a few singles left there back home and I thought this rung true for everyone in our age group... FOR SINGLE MEN -- "Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it. Don't hang out. Date. A date must pass the 3 P's - planned ahead, paid for, and paired off. Nothing elaborate or expensive." -- Elder Dallin H. Oaks<br />
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Elder Oaks rocks. This is the most important thing I read and I know many who need to hear it. Wise wise counsel indeed. FOR SINGLE WOMEN -- "If you are just marking time waiting for a marriage prospect, STOP WAITING .. stop waiting and start moving. Prepare yourself for life -- even a single life - by education, experience, and planning. Don't wait for happiness to be thrust upon you. Seek it out in service and learning. Make a life for yourself. And trust in the Lord. Follow King Benjamin's counsel to call upon the name of the Lord daily and stand steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come (mosiah 4:11)."<br />
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And this is what Sister Oaks had to say to single sisters ... "This is your time. Make it count by dedicating your time to Heavenly Father." I just thought all of that was important, inspired, and needed to be said. It really influenced me, so I just had to share.<br />
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13) My faith really increased this week. I think in the last days we will be tried, like the early saints only worse. Even the most righteous then went apostate after enduring endless hardships. Are we going to be able to endure? I had a lot of self reflection about that this week. I want to be able to say - bring on the worst, I'm ready. I'm getting there. After all, it is our faith that makes us whole. It is our faith that has the ability to heal us physically, spiritually, and eternally.<br />
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14) Your commitment this week is to get on mormon.org and create your online missionary profile! LET US ALL PRESS ON!<br />
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Last but not least, I know this church is true. I know it like I know that I'm alive. I know that Christ lives, that Joseph Smith was a prophet, and that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I know that the truth will go forth bodly, nobly, and independent, and I am so priveleged to be a part of that. I know that the gospel changes lives, and it gives us purpose. It IS our purpose, to prepare in this life to meet our Father in Heaven again someday. I know that the priesthood of God is on the Earth today -- what a glorious blessing!<br />
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I love you all. Take care!<br />
Sister PayneAshleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-45491618053627112572010-07-27T18:14:00.000-07:002010-07-27T18:14:32.632-07:00From the last 3 weeks-Upon Leaving Home<br />
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I left a quiet harbor<br />
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in favor of another, I know not where.<br />
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But first, there are seas to cross<br />
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And storms to brave.<br />
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How could I prefer the foreign deeps<br />
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to the encircling arms of my bay?<br />
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Because some things<br />
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Can only be learned at sea.<br />
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Yes, my craft is watertight,<br />
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I can navigate the unknown,<br />
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And Lo, the winds that fill my sails<br />
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Blow from home. <br />
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- Steffanie Russell<br />
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Aloha Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
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Allow me to tell you about a ROUGH WEEK that Sis. Smith and I are glad to say farewell to. We had blowout after blowout, cancellation after cancellation, rainstorm after rainstorm, and not a single new investigator all week. Needless to say a lot of time was wasted and a lot of reevaluating was necessary. But now, on the other end of things and moving into faith week, we're not letting it shake us. <br />
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My mission is a very humbling experience. Everyday I am reminded of my weaknesses, which humble me, or of my blessings, which also humbles me. I am realizing how much I need to improve and how much I've already improved, as well as how much my Heavenly Father has given me and truly what my life's purpose is, and what my purpose is here on my mission. You cannot come to this part of the world, visit with the people I've visited, be in some of the homes I've been in, listen to experiences people have had, knowing that they are children of God, and not be humbled by it. I continue to be in awe at the strength of the people I've met, at the trials they have to face. And to think about some of the things I used to complain about -- it really is ridiculous. I am so incredibly blessed and I don't think I've ever realized it more than I do at this time in my life.<br />
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This week (the first half of it anyway) I went jogging/power walking with Sis. Smith. Man alive, there is nothing I hate more than exercising at 6:30 in the morning. I absolutely cannot stand it, but after the first few days wore us out we had a hard time just getting out of bed on time. I've started this week fresh, with the bench press, crunches, and calf raises. That's gonna be my routine every morning until I leave Nassau - I'm determined. Not because I'm getting fat, and not because I particularly care whether or not I'm in shape, but because in order to be obedient I've gotta exercise. It is all a matter of faith!<br />
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I read a little bit in Sis. Ockey's History of the Church 7-volume set. My golly, I want those bad boys when I get home! There is just worlds and worlds of information that I have not read about the church and it is so incredibly interesting. Not to mention those volumes are references so much in conference talks and Ensign articles, it will be such a fantastic resource to have when I get home. I love reading and studying after all ... why not fill up my library with the most important stuff first! Speaking of studying, I memorized the timeline of the restoration (at least I did at the beginning of the week, I need to review it again). But it has been cool to be able to just go into my head for that knowledge instead of having to go into a book. I want to get more of that information in my head, scriptures, timelines, etc so that I can teach with more confidence. I'll be working on that! Currently I'm creating/setting up a fireside for the 24th of this month that is kinda my brain child. It's entitled "The Song of the Heart" and is going to be all about music in the gospel, and be a very hands-on experience for the branch. I hope it is successful.<br />
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Lucea and Falmouth back in Jamaica have been shut down officially as of yesterday, and are now dissolved into two other branches. The work here is seemingly neverending. It seems like we could have all 50,000 missionaries in this one mission and still would have endless amounts of work to do, so you can imagine how it feels being the only two missionaries in New Providence. With great responsibility comes great power however, if we trust in the Lord! I got a package from the Skyline branch the other day, with little letters from each member at FHE. How wonderful was that!? I felt so loved -- it was very cool, and very appreciated so thank you good ol' skyliners.<br />
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I need to tell you about Morris Ford. Morris was a friend of a member, he's 37, and he came to church three sundays ago after the member had been inviting him for years. He told us he's just felt recently like God has been telling him to find a church, get involved in faith, and put Him first. So we've been teaching him, and right from the get-go he's been really excited about everything. When we taught him the first lesson and I recited Joseph's account of the first vision, he said he'd heard that before but he didn't know where - but it sounded so familiar. When we watched The Restoration DVD, he asked us "how come sometimes you feel so good you want to cry?" He's ready and willing for everything, and he's set to be baptized this Saturday. We can't wait! When we gave him a Book of Mormon and asked him to pray, he came back the next lesson and said he'd been praying all night and he couldn't sleep. The next morning he'd gone to work and had the book in his car, and flipped it open and started reading Joseph's testimony. He said when he read the part about Moroni talking to Joseph all the way until morning, it was exactly like his experience. He said he felt someone was talking to him all night, and he kept getting thoughts into his head and next thing he knew the rooster was crowing and it was time to go to work. He said when he read that, he had a "whoa" experience. He asked me, "What was that all about?" So I told him, "that was the answer to your prayers." His response was the best -- "Really? Cool man. That's so cool." Everytime we ask him if he has any concerns he always tells us "I'm ready. I'm not afraid, let's do this." My favorite Morris quotes are "church is cool, man" and "Jesus is cool, man" and "you Christians know how to rock". He's so incredibly rad.<br />
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Allow me to leave you with some thoughts and impressions I've had this week, due to the Spirit and I believe my Heavenly Father answering my desparate, feeble prayers. The first is something that was shared by a tourist from Chandler in relief society yesterday. She said that "time is the most precious and charitable commodity we have to give". Now I don't know if that is the most correct grammatically, but the principle is absolutely correct and something I had never thought of. The world so often says "take time to yourself" or "you need 'me' time" and more often than not we feel like any time we have available deservingly so goes to ourselves. Because time is such a valuable resource, when we give and sacrifice of our time it is one of the greatest gifts we can give to anyone. When we love someone, we can truly show them how much we love them by giving them our time. The Savior gave all His time to doing His Father's work -- the ultimate manifestation of His love and devotion was what He did with His time. I feel priveleged to be able to give this small amount of time to my Heavenly Father, but in all aspects of our lives we can be more charitable with our time -- with our families, our loved ones, our callings, etc. <br />
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The other thought that was really a paradigm shift for me and will not be the same as I try to explain it in words, is the concept of the Lord's grace being sufficient for all. Brother Eyers, a member from England, gave a talk about this in sacrament meeting yesterday (can you tell I had a good Sunday?). He talked about 2 Cor 12:7-10, and how the Lord most often will not remove our adversity -- even though that's what we always expect or desire. How often do we pray and ask God to take away our weaknesses, our trials, our hardships ... when really what the Lord will actually do will bear us up to be able to meet our adversity and allow US to conquer it. It is not a matter of what He can or cannot do, but a matter of what we will or will not do. So much of us being faithful and overcoming life's obstacles is our willingness to do so. It is not our ability, but our focus and determination that will help us succeed. Our ability does not matter. We are all too weak to do it alone, BUT if we have the desire and are obedient to the Lord in all He asks of us and WE put in the footwork, then is His grace sufficent. THEN is His strength enough to make us strong, to bridge the gap between who we are and who we want to be, and who He expects us to be. It is so much US!<br />
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The last epiphany I will share with you is this quote, and I believe it is by Richard G Scott but I don't know it word for word off hand, but he says that Satan's most powerful tool against good people is distraction -- filling up our time with good things, leavning no room for the essential things. I have found this to be ever so true in my life. In fact, I have specific counsel regarding this in my patriarchal blessing. This has been and will continue to be a struggle for me, but I have learned to rely on the promise found in Ether 12:27 ... if I humble myself and have faith in my Savior, then will my weak things become strong. <br />
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Your commitment for this letter is to determine your talents. List out at least five talents that you have, and then ponder about how you can use those talents to help others. Why did God give you those talents? Then -- GO AND DO! Use at least one of those talents to help someone this week, and sit back and enjoy the blessings.<br />
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All the love in the world,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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1 Timothy 4:12<br />
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Salutations Family, Friends and Fans --<br />
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Hello again from the land of a million churches. I hope everything is fantastic in your respective areas and that you are loving each day of your life. As Bryce Avary says, "every day there is a choice - and through the joy, through the pain, I will rejoice!"<br />
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The latest Liahona has a wonderful article about finding ourselves in Lehi's dream. We're all in it! I thought the most profound part of it was reading how we today are no longer walking alongside the great and spacious building, but rather the iron rod runs right through the building. The building is all around us! It really puts in perspective how difficult times are now, and how important it is, now more than ever, to grasp ahold of the word of God and our covenants and give it all we've got. Your commitment this week is to read that article!<br />
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Well the week started off by being invited by some tourists from Orlando, Bro. and Sis. Parker of Parker Boats, taking us out to Carmine's restaurant over by Atlantis. Talk about stush -- we had so much food, for days! It was definitely deliciously decadent - and quite a treat. We felt like rich people for a day, and we got to go to The Dig aquarium at Atlantis and check out all the crazy fish -- eels and piranhas... scary stuff! <br />
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There is a ridiculous conflict here between Haitians and Bahamians. We had this guy come take a tour of our church building, and at the end of it ask why we had a Haitian church. I can't stand any of that -- I simply let anyone with that issue know that God is no respecter of persons and the gospel is for everyone, and if they can't understand that they don't truly understand the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is a frustrating thing to deal with. Also frustrating was some random lady on the street yelling at us -- "are you Normans? I'm APOSTOLIC! You know the church that believes in JESUS CHRIST?!" All I kept thinking, as she kept yelling in my face, was 1) this lady had absolutely no idea what it meant to be Christian. Christ never yelled at anyone, and she was making me very afraid of her church ... and 2) 99.9% of the people here don't know the name of the church. When they read our name tag they say "I've never heard of that church where is it?" ... We'll let them know it is on Soldier Road, big yellow building. "Oh the Mormon church! You don't believe in God!" ... and then more yelling. Soemtimes it feels like damage control here, clearing up stupid rumors spread by other congregations. But we're still finding those who are looking for the truth, and know not where to find it -- even amidst this chaos. <br />
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This week has been a great week. We had some jerk chicken and peas and rice Jamaican style from Sis. Capita in the branch. That lady is hilarious! I also got to try my first vitamalt, a Bahamian energy/vitamin beverage. That'll probably be my last too - it tastes like bread. Not exactly a refreshing drink. And I've gotten a bunch of marriage advice from various members of the branch, which has been pretty dang funny to listen to. It is all positive though, and though none of them have met David they're all positive we're meant to be together. Gotta love it! Bro. Raymond gave a talk in sacrament meeting, but he doesn't speak much English. It was awesome - he gave it his all and did a lot better than I would if I had to give a talk in creole. Sis. Pascal who is the funniest lady ever has already started to make plans to take me to Haiti when I come back and visit after my mission, and anytime she goes out teaching with us she buys us Twin Brothers Daquiris. DELICIOUS and ADDICTIVE! There's so many awesome people in this branch, its crazy.<br />
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In other news I ate a fish with the head still on it. I'm not a fan. And of course, last but certainly not least -- THE WORK THIS WEEK WAS FANTASTIC! Morris Ford was baptized Saturday night and confirmed on Sunday. He's so incredibly solid, and had tears in his eyes at his baptism. He told me "Ya know, I was gonna go look around for other churches, but I found the right one on the first try. Someone was lookin' out for me!" He shared his experiences in Sunday School, and is already bringing his friends to church. I love this guy! I can't wait to see his progress in the church. Also, a less active we've been workign with -- Jude, was at church yesterday. He told me he was 'back home', and told the branch president he was here to stay and not turning back. That was like music to my ears! <br />
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Allow me to end by sharing a cool epiphany I had, due to the Spirit during study. I'm pretty sure my whole life I've always believed in the atonement, and had a testimony of the reality of it. I don't think, however, that I've ever truly understood it. I'm understanding it more and more each day, but this week I realized something very significant. I think I always assumed, because the Savior bled from every pore, that all of our pains and sins and sorrows were converted into physical pain when He took them upon Himself. Though His suffering would still be significant even if that were the case, and the atonement still be real and perfect, a shift in my perspective really changed my life. I realized that He lived every day of our entire lives -- every fear, insecurity, everything. Christ felt, not in some manifestation of physical pain, but in reality - just as we do, he felt sorrow, guilt, shame, apathy, indifference, fear, inadequacy, loneliness, embarassment, awkwardness, anxiety, etc etc etc. The Savior, even though He was perfect, felt the painful consequences of sin -- the guilt and fear that accompanies the darkest of sins. HE FELT EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER FELT, EXACTLY HOW I HAVE FELT IT -- but beyond what I could even imagine, because He felt it for all of us. No wonder He bled from every pore. If anyone has ever felt the pain of a loved one dying, their heart breaking from a relationship ending, the sorrow and regret for bad decisions, or the fear of what life has in store for them, they will know how profound the pain can truly be. That is amazing to me -- the perfect nature of the atonement. Understanding that, for me, has given me hope and strength. It has made me realize there is never a feeling I am experiencing that the Savior has not felt. My emotional woes were not converted to physical pains. He didn't feel agony in His stomach for my anxiety -- He felt nervousness and a rapid heart beat just like I do. The plan of salvation is for US - not for God. Heavenly Father didn't have to do any of it, but He did because He loves us. He sent our brother to save us! So anytime we feel like there is no way to overcome something, no way to conquer it, or we've fallen too far backward, too far down, that we're sunk and we can't make it right ... we can turn to the Lord with all we have, use the atonement and know, He suffered so that we don't have to. That's the miracle of forgiveness, and it is real and right there for the taking if we just reach out and grab it. What profound love ... it consumes me. (Hebrews 2:17-18)<br />
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I love you all and know that you're in my prayers. I hope this week you find renewed strength in the Savior and His atonement, and make and keep goals to improve your life and let your light shine to those around you. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. They mean the world to me.<br />
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All my love,<br />
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Sister Payne<br />
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(D&C 122:7)<br />
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"Faith or Fear"<br />
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v1<br />
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its time to get behind the wheel and drive<br />
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time to really live while i'm alive<br />
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today is the day that i decide<br />
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if i'm ready for the fight, ready for the ride<br />
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v2<br />
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will i trust in faith or fear<br />
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i still haven't a clue what i'm doing here<br />
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but i know that i will either disappear<br />
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or let you steer and kickstart my heart into gear<br />
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chorus<br />
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i won't lie - i lay awake at night<br />
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sometimes i hurt inside - but You won't see me cry<br />
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cause i'm in Your hands - its Your call<br />
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and i finally understand<br />
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I'm Yours<br />
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v3<br />
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i'm tired of wishing for greener grass<br />
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tired of thinking about the past<br />
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i'm so tired of excuses for coming in last<br />
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i gotta make a change and make it fast<br />
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v4<br />
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i'm waiting for that kindly light to lead<br />
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lead us to the souls that stand in need<br />
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and i trust that the blind can surely see<br />
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Your amazing grace will set them free<br />
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just like it did for me<br />
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chorus<br />
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instrumental bridge<br />
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(with voiceover of Alma 32:21, 27)<br />
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chorus x2<br />
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Como Estas Familia, Amigos, y Todos los Otras --<br />
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I just got done eating at Senor Frogs, with the Senior Couple - The Bradleys. They served here about a year ago, and they just left out of Ocho Rios while we were in Lucea. They have a timeshare here, so are back visiting and took us out to lunch. They're from Cherry Hill New Jersey, and are quite pleasant people indeed. I had a chimichanga. Wasn't close to as good as back home, but I'll take it for sure! Yum. We also got to listen to a fantastic selection of Michael Jackson hits while we dined. It was pleasant.<br />
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I'm working on learning more and gaining a stronger testimony of the repentance process this transfer. This last week was devoted to godly sorrow. It is a very interesting thing, developing godly sorrow. It isn't very easy either. So much of the natural man in us only feels bad about things when we see negative consequences for our actions, or when we are punished. It isn't always easy feeling genuine sorrow for something simply because we know we let our Father in Heaven down. It has been a good week for me, learning more all the while and working hard on repenting every day. I have also been thinking a lot about the differences between conversion and testimony. Conversion is decision to follow what your testimony has convinced you is true. It is pretty easy to have a testimony I think, but conversion is the real trick -- what we want for our investigators, members, and for ourselves. I'm working everyday on becoming truly converted. I've got a long way to go! I guess that's why they say the most important convert you'll have on your mission is yourself -- ain't that the truth!<br />
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Most of our investigators just aren't progressing. We took some time out this week to really analyze our teaching, what we're doing right and what we can improve on. One man we're teaching, Bro. Major, is at church every Sunday and has read the entire Book of Mormon -- but he is not progressing toward baptism at all. Some people are just stubborn, but I know if we can truly get him to gain a witness through the Spirit, help him facilitate his conversion, he'll be runnin' to jump in the water. We had a member fireside and did not have a great turnout. But the people who were there were so solid. Our point was to get new investigators, which didn't happen at all. BUT we did strengthen the members for sure. It was all about music, and strengthening our testimonies through music (yeah, I planned it. what can I say I love music?) We got numerous compliments about how uplifting it was and that made us feel good. It is part of our mission to strengthen the branch here after all, and I know testimonies were strengthened. One member told me, as I introduced my favorite hymn, How Firm a Foundation, how that was her favorite too and how it really aided in bringing her back to activity in the church after years of inactivity. She said she was crying as we sang it -- that was worth it for me, to hear that she was helped at that point.<br />
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We're also teaching a girl Clarisa, who is quite possibly my favorite lady of all time. She is hilair, and lastnight she was telling us how much she's gonna miss us when we leave. We're gonna be here for a while! She's progressing, reading all the time and praying. I know her life is about to change forever. Other than that we're having a really hard time finding new investigators. Unlike Jamaica, street contacting here is totally ineffective. No one is outside in this heat, or this tropical storm weather. So we're trying to make the most with the people we are teaching. It is hard sometimes, when nothing is going well, to want to keep going. But that's why you just hit your knees, repent for thinking negatively and being lazy, and get to work.<br />
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It is nice being able to fast and pray so much. That is a habit I want to develop for the rest of my life, because I was not taking advantage of the blessings before my mission. Now I don't think I could survive without them. Oh, another cool piece of news: I will soon have the opportunity to teach English to the Haitians here. I've been waiting for such an opportunity and I can't wait for the program to get off the ground. <br />
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A temple reccommend! Always have one! I was reading something by Pres. Hinckley earlier this week that called it his "credit card with the Lord". That is a rad way to put it, and it is totally true. Even out here, when I can't go to the temple, I love knowing that I have one in my wallet. <br />
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In other news, we had a crazy lady Patsy who we met call us like 60 times over 2 days and keep asking us to bring her stuff back from the States. She's not all there, but her niece and her daughter were calling us too and they were totally coherent so I don't know what their excuse is. Thankfully they've got the hint and quit calling us. It was mostly annoying, getting ten phone calls at four AM from random lady wanting a laptop. Blah. Oh, and the Ockeys are probably the richest people I've ever personally known. No, in fact they are. They have a private jet. And their grandkids have Ferraris. Its just too much. They're really nice people though, so it proves that not all rich people are jerks! Besides, they take great care of us so it works out well.<br />
<br />
Your commitment this week is to be doers, not just hearers only. So many of us go to church, watch conference, or whatever -- just waiting for others to uplift and strengthen us. But how much of our personal time do we actually spend studying, learning by faith, and uplifting ourselves? We can be change agents in our own lives, and part of that is ACTING upon the counsel we receive. So many times in my life I received counsel from leaders and thought "that doesn't apply to me". Oh, how I wish I would have listened to that inspired counsel and avoided much regret and sorrow. What a better missionary I would be -- what a better person I would be. No longer do I want counsel from Apostles, the Prophet, and local leaders to fall on my deaf ears. ACT. USE YOUR AGENCY TO ACTIVELY PURSUE YOUR EXALTATION.<br />
<br />
<br />
JAMES 1:22<br />
<br />
I have an earache. And I don't like it.<br />
<br />
Until next week,<br />
Sister Payne<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: yellow; font-size: x-large;">**Have you written to Sister Payne lately?? Get her address from the sidebar and send her some lovin**</span>Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-27078211439865849892010-07-07T19:37:00.000-07:002010-07-07T19:37:25.752-07:00Update.Salutations Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Yet again this will be a letter of a bunch of random thoughts because that is just the easiest way for me to express myself.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Happy 4th of July! Here Sis. Smith and I made hamburgers in a skillet, got some Lays and drank some Pepsi like real Americans. Bahamian independence day is the 10th, right around the corner so it is a week of celebration for sure! Lookin' forward to fireworks (hopefully).<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
We went to Paradise Island ... lifestyles of the rich and the famous. Whooooo. The rooms in the arch in the Atlantis range from $10,000 a night to $25,000. Isn't that madness? They have regular rooms of course and on special that are like $350 a night. It was cool to just be able to get out and see some tourist sights, especially after being in Lucea where you kinda think you're never gonna see anything like that ever again. It made me feel very ... humble walking by 8 million dollar yachts called "Serenity" and "Milk Money". But then you cross over the bridge and get back into the ghetto neighborhoods. So so interesting.<br />
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The Ockeys are ridiculously rich, by the way. I just thought I'd throw that out there.<br />
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We've been calling all the former investigators and following up with them. We really only have picked up three I think, out of calling like 75. Madness.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Melony rocks -- she has this LIGHT in her eyes when we visited with her for the first time since she's been baptized. It was like she was a person, plugged in to be brighter like a lamp. It was very exciting for us and we just love visiting with her. She's so rad - I'm stoked to have a friend like her.<br />
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I haven't had really any need to learn Creole yet (I mean, an urgent need) and we haven't really had any time to learn it. I'm still trying little by little.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Time flies. I've been in Nassau over a month already!<br />
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Time crawls. Yesterday felt like it would never end.<br />
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I have mini burnouts. Like a day where I'm like "I don't want to do anything today" ... but it lasts a day and I wake the next day ready to go. And Sis. Smith is so diligent she always keeps me on my best behavior :)<br />
<br />
<br />
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We have hilarious members in the branch. I'm not gonna bother explaining it because you really have to be there to see it to believe it. But know that I'm constantly laughing, every day, and especially Sunday. Except for yesterday - we had a horrible relief society meeting and all the sisters were being very catty and arguing. It is kinda the culture, but it made me really upset and I felt so flustered. I buried my head in my hands and just started praying. The lesson was about charity and love after all, and I felt nothing but contention. I know part of why I was called here was to be "an example of the believers" especially to the sisters here. It can just feel like a fruitless effort sometimes.<br />
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We got fed a whole-body fish the other day. BLECH! I'm glad they put it in a to-go box for us to bring home so I could eat some mac and cheese and Sis. Smith ate her fish and mine. I just couldn't do it man. Maybe one day, but right then and there I was like -- this isn't happening. I'm only so brave.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Your commitment for this week is to read "Sharing the Gospel with Confidence" by M. Russell Ballard, in this month's issue of the Liahona or you can find it on newsroom.lds.org. It was such a good article about not being defensive. Read it!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
A mission is really preparation for the rest of your life. I have decided that is very true, and had many experiences confirming that to me lately. President Spencer W. Kimball said -- " Your mission is preparation. It is your school for eternity. You won't forget that, will you? This mission is not just a two-year stretch. This is the time when you cultivate the seeds of godhood so you can help other people on their way toward exaltation. How small are we who think of the mission as just being a stretch of time, some physical things to do, a little studying to do, some praying. This is the most purposeful thing, perhaps, you have ever done in your life and possibly the most purposeful thing some of you will ever do. It's up to you to let this be the prelude to your life, to let it be the beginning of a great and glorious life." This is JUST THE BEGINNING! =D<br />
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<br />
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I want to take piano lessons when I get home. It is currently my greatest "when i get home" desire. I will continue songwriting. I love it so much!<br />
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NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!<br />
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I'm learning how to budget out here, way more than in Jamaica -- since everything is so expensive here you really gotta watch it. And we pay for our own cell phone cards (they do it minute by minute here) so we've really gotta be smart with our money. At times it can be really tough but I'm learning frugality! <br />
<br />
All the best, <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Sister PayneAshleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-40879667401921785422010-06-21T15:42:00.000-07:002010-06-21T15:42:33.552-07:00sak pa se?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://mail.google.com/mail/?attid=0.2&disp=emb&view=att&th=1295bbeb1e0c1f43" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" ru="true" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?attid=0.2&disp=emb&view=att&th=1295bbeb1e0c1f43" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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</div><br />
Enjoy the pix:<br />
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<br />
the way I feel when I'm sick, and the stuff I had to take to ease the pain.<br />
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Kobe Bryant's got nothin' on me.<br />
<br />
From L to R - Elder Tanner, Elder Martinez, Elder Sizemore, me and Sister Smith on ZC day.<br />
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<br />
Greetings Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
<br />
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY [yesterday]!<br />
<br />
I can't believe June is almost over. On a mission the days crawl, the weeks fly by, and the months disappear. Whew. Well this might be the most scattered e-mail of all time but I'll try to do my best, as always, to enlighten and entertain. Mwen parle pitit Creole, by the way -- and I'm learning more everyday. <br />
<br />
First off, I've been told twice this week that I look like Celine Dion. The people here love Celine Dion so I find that to be an extreme compliment. After all, I AM the best singer in the world. Psych ;) We've been getting lots of referrals which is nice and so much more productive that just street contacting. I had the wonderful opportunity to speak in church yesterday. I talked about "finding an anchor for your faith" -- the one thing that you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, so when the storms blow the ship that is your testimony will not move with the waves because you will be anchored down. I shared how Joseph Smith is my anchor, and a sister told me afterward that my talk was "really powerful". What more could you ask for?<br />
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I got sick this last week, with a cold that I believe I caught from Elder Emery who had been in from Freeport for the Zone Conference. I was only around him for like five seconds, so that's depressing that my immune system is really that poor. But it knocked me to my feet for a solid two days, but I'm on the mend. Speaking of zone conference, we had such a great time! I got to meet President Hendricks and his wife and we had a great meeting, a sweet interview, and an overall productive, educational and enjoyable day. Plus I got mail! So that was exciting! I love mail.<br />
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So it cracks me up that everyone back home is getting engaged, and I've heard about it from three sources now, except for the actual parties who themselves are engaged. I guess that's the laziness of facebook these days. "I'll just post it as my status and that missionary out in the Caribbean will hear about it from someone else." So it goes. Congrats to all of you, you know who you are. If you're not engaged, congrats on that too, lol. <br />
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So people we're teaching. Melanie, our golden investigator, is going to be baptized on Saturday night. Can't wait! You know when you teach someone out here who has no law of chastity or word of wisdom concerns that they are golden and the Lord has been preparing them. She keeps EVERY commitment! We also picked up a former investigator, Harold. He's a Jamaican, and he came to church on Sunday. He's got some stuff to repent of but met with the branch president and has a great desire. He loves the church - he told us he's been to all the churches but he "never felt right about any of them" until he found this one. He said he "feels a warmth and a peace when he comes to church". You gotta love that, right? We extended a date to him, and he's gonna pray about it. We're also teaching Jay, an electrician who loves to debate. Once he's humbled a little bit he'll really become a great person to teach and a great servant of the Lord. That's my hope.<br />
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I've realized that I have great potential, and so do the people we're teaching. They all have the potential to be like God! So who cares where they are now ... it is all about where they are going. Allow me to talk briefly about the principle of perfection. Everyday I've been trying to be perfect at one thing. It really has been a good experience for me! You can't ever be perfect, but everyday if you're perfect at something it makes it easier to be good at it the next day while you're working on being perfect at something else. Speaking of perfection, I haven't missed a morning or evening prayer in three months and I've written in my journal every night since I've been on my mission. That's two things that I have a goal to be perfect at throughout my entire mission!<br />
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We've been getting fed lots of dinner. I had conch chowder the other night, and crab rice. We have a lot of seafood on the horizon also -- it isn't bad once I get past the smell. The miracle of a mission is that I'm able to get that stuff down, I'm serious. But we do get fed a lot of excellent meals and we'll get another one tonight! Can't wait. The Etiennes are a great RC couple from Haiti who fed us some delicious Haitian dinner the other night. I love those two -- we had a long talk about Michael Jackson, and about the second coming, and about me visiting Haiti and them visiting the west coast in the US. It is really easy to have charity and love for such wonderful, humble, hilarious, and loving people. Anytime I tell brother Etienne "sak pa se?" which means "what's up?" his face just lights up. Cool cool people, man. Seriously.<br />
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Alright -- is there any questions people have for me? I just ramble and I feel like maybe I haven't been talking about what people want to hear about. So feel free to let me know. I'm gonna finish the doctrine and covenants tonight (I'm on section 134). WHEW. It's so amazing!! I'm loving every minute of reading it -- it's like I'm reading it for the first time. <br />
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D&C 127:2<br />
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WHOA!<br />
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Alright I've gotta get going. All my love to all who are reading. <br />
<br />
Oh I almost forgot - YOUR COMMITMENT! Are you ready? I don't know how many people actually keep these commitments, but whatever it's off my shoulders if you don't, haha. Your commitment this week is to live missionary schedule all week. Okay, not as strict as a missionary but these are the guidelines:<br />
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Rise no later than 6:30am<br />
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Retire no later than 10:30pm<br />
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Exercise for 20-30 minutes every day<br />
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Have gospel study for 1 hour everyday<br />
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and DONT WATCH TV!!!<br />
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That's like the word of wisdom y'all - adapted to the capacity of the weakest of the weak. DO IT. DO IT DO IT. Then report. What was it like? Get a taste of what it is like to be a missionary, even if you're an RM. Be reminded of it. Trust me - ITS A BLESSING!<br />
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Alright, au revoir!<br />
xx`<br />
<br />
Sister Payne<br />
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<br />
more lyrics? here ya go.<br />
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<strong>"LUCY"</strong> <br />
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(i wrote this about the town of Lucea. i dunno if i told you or not but it is affirmative the branch was shut down there after we left. it merged with the negril and montego bay branches. depressing.)<br />
<br />
v1<br />
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lucy i can see you lookin up to me<br />
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beggin' me you're plaguin' me can't you see<br />
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you can only get so hot, yeah before you burn<br />
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sure i can teach ya but ya gotta wanna learn<br />
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chorus<br />
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lucy lucy lucy you're a little girl - not so innocent as you show the world<br />
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are you ready ready ready i'mma change your mind<br />
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put your hand in mine - this is your time to shine<br />
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v2<br />
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miracles can happen in the smallest towns<br />
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but there's been nothin' but trouble since you came around<br />
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and i'm ready set to start but will you ever believe<br />
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i'm not out here for my health<br />
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i'm here to set you free<br />
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chorus<br />
<br />
instrumental bridge<br />
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chorus x2<br />
outro<br />
<br />
lucy lucy lucy will you ever believe<br />
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i'm out here on a mission to set you freeAshleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-70053370575967614872010-06-15T12:30:00.000-07:002010-06-15T12:30:56.501-07:00Fine Dining and Missionary Work<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">"<em>Joseph Smith could neither write nor dictate a coherent and well-worded letter, let alone dictate a book like the Book of Mormon," Emma Smith told her son, "and though I was an active participant during the translation of the plates, and had cognizance of things as they transpired, it is marvelous to me -- a marvel and a wonder -- as much as to anyone else. My belief is that the Book of Mormon is of divine authenticity -- I have not the slightest doubt of it," she continued. " I am satisfied that no man could have dictated the writing of the manuscripts unless he was inspired; for, when acting as his scribe, your father would dictate to me hour after hour; and when returning after meals, or interruptions, he would at once begin where he had left off, without either seeing the manuscript or having any portion of it read to him. This was a usual thing for him to do. It would have been improbable that a learned man could do this, and for one so ignorant and unlearned as he was, it was simply impossible." -- Emma Smith, after she was no longer associated with the church and had long since remarried.</em></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://mail.google.com/mail/?attid=0.1&disp=emb&view=att&th=129371db087a1e24" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" qu="true" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?attid=0.1&disp=emb&view=att&th=129371db087a1e24" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Hello out there family, friends and fans --</div>First I will start out by making you jealous. Sister Pascal, a member and RM from Haiti, made us a shrimp and lobster dinner lastnight - complete with poorboy rice and peas, steamed veggies, and a strawberry sundae. Literally, most amazing meal of all time. You would pay and arm and a leg back home to eat that good, and it was totally free. She said she always gives her best to the missionaries because she remembers what it was like to serve. My it is good to be a servant of the Lord. Sister Pascal is the flippin' best -- not even kiddin'. We ended the dinner by her saying "Come pick me up, Saturday morning, and I'm gonna take you out and I'm gonna show you people to teach." Bless her, endlessly. She's so rad. Oh and on that "be jealous of me, because that's totally not a Christlike desire" note -- we visited with Bro. Ballard and his wife, in their MANSION on eastern road. Literally - so rich he's like Jay Gatsby. It is called Bally Crystal and it was like nothing I've ever seen. That guy is so legit. His house is where the church started in Nassau - he built it up in a lot of ways. He still works so hard - he's a builder, building buildings and building up the branch. His wife is a dry Mormon - it's only a matter of time til she gets baptized. She's at church every week, lol.<br />
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I have learned the days of the week in Creole - which are very similiar to Spanish. I think I could pick up on the language pretty well because I know a good deal of Spanish. We actually found someone to teach us too. Jenny Jean Paul, a recent convert from Haiti, loves helping out and serving and agreed to give us a lesson three times a week. Stellar! Church was wonderful yesterday and our investigator with a baptism date Melanie came for her 2nd time and really enjoyed it. She has such personality and is so sweet and keeps every commitment we leave her. This week we left Alma 32 and she came back totally reciting the mustard seed parable and asked how she could water her seed! She asked great questions after watching 'The Restoration' and one night we went to teach her the word of wisdom, but as we walked in I could tell she was frustrated from her work week. I just started launching into explaining Joseph in Liberty Jail and reading from D&C 121-122. She was way into it, and I really felt the Spirit. I completely bogarted the lesson from Sis. Smith though, which drove away the Spirit. I'm trying to be better at that because you know me, I could talk for a kajillion years about one topic. I gotta stop to breathe sometimes!<br />
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We also met with this guy Jay this week. We got lost on the total wrong side of town, and he drove by and asked if we were missionaries and why we hadn't come to his neighborhood before. He said he'd driven by a Latter Day Saint church but didn't know what that meant. When I told him we were the missionaries from that very same church he got so excited and gave us his card and told us to call him a.s.a.p to set up an appointment. Well we did, and though he has a lot of things he's gotta learn and unlearn, he seems willing and interested. He came to Sacrament Mtg yesterday, and we taught him with a member, Sis. Altidor, all about the restoration. It was like this light shifted in his eyes - from thinking he knew everything about everything to having this new information and getting its importance. The coolest part was he had talked about the Catholic church being his preferred one, because "it was first so every other church had to have just branched off of that one." When I explained Christ establishing His church during His earthly ministry and the apostasy, he had this "whoa" moment. Man, it was such a great lesson. I'm excited to meet with him again -- I feel like we met him for a reason. We were lost on that street for a reason. Now if we can just bear down in pure testimony to him and leave it up to him ... great things could happen.<br />
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We also met with Sis. Walkine this week - a super sweet member - who is so excited about missionary work. She fed us a surprise dinner too, all Bahamian goodness and it was delicious. (Yes, I've been eating pork and seafood and I thought both was fantastic. Who am I? I don't even know. It's the miracle of a mission I suppose.) She is so obsessed with politics its hilarious. She talked for like an hour all about how much she loves Mitt Romney and all of this. Apparently she is hugely involved with American politics and considers herself Bahamian American and is trying to move to Florida to be a conservative voice in the state. It is hard not to talk about politics on your mission, especially with Sis. Walkine around. I told her she had to meet my mom, cause they would get along swimmingly. I mean -- Fox News was on when we got to her house. Awesome much?<br />
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I have really learned how to pray out here. I mean, I'm still learning - but that is a skill I've begun to truly treasure. Really honestly communicating with my Father in Heaven has made all the difference. Rather than vain repetitions or just hoping someone is listening, I know He's there and I know He's listening. It has really helped, and I'm striving to gain a spiritual witness and conversion to the reality of the restoration. I know it to be true in my head, and I've felt it in my heart, but I'm craving a burning witness from the Spirit of the truthfulness -- something I can recognize and cannot deny -- something that I ask my investigators to try to get all the time. I realized until I'm converted, enough that if I were an investigator I would be baptized, there's no way I could aid in converting someone else, or learning Creole, or whatever. I'm working on repenting daily, and making small strides each day at a time. I just want to be GREAT! Who wants to sacrifice so much and return home in 18 months saying "I served an average mission"? Not me.<br />
<br />
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My doctrinal questions of the week are: why did we have to come to Earth to receive a body? Why couldn't Heavenly Father have just given us a body when we were still in the pre-mortal world? Is that an eternal law or something? And what about the Holy Ghost? Will the Holy Ghost ever get a body? And what does Begotten even mean? I'm the worst english teacher ever, I'm like yeah I don't know that definition.<br />
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My commitment for you all is to FAST FROM FACEBOOK AND TELEVISION! At least for one day, but you know yourself. Really truly fast from it (ie a fast from breakfast is just skipping a meal. if you just don't check it for an afternoon that's not a fast) I have seen out here when I have taken away stupid distractions and eliminated worldly priorities how much stuff we get done in one day. DO IT. I promise you you'll see something. You'll learn something from it. Well I'm outta here. Off to check out Ft. Fincastle and the Queen's Staircase.<br />
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Au Revoir,<br />
<br />
Sister Payne<br />
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<br />
another song for you:<br />
<br />
<br />
"Mirrors and Windows"<br />
<br />
v1<br />
<br />
tell me why is it so impossible for me to see the world the way You do<br />
<br />
tell me am i broken inside? i am filled with love but it can't get through - to them<br />
<br />
v2<br />
<br />
why is it always me against them all when it should be You and I on their side?<br />
<br />
the more i learn the more i try to change and the more i see Your image in their face - in their place<br />
<br />
chorus<br />
<br />
im trying my best to change these mirrors into windows<br />
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forget the 'what's in it for me?'s and world's acclaim<br />
<br />
trying to put myself aside when i'm so relaxed in my pride<br />
<br />
but i'm learning what it means to wear Your name<br />
<br />
v3<br />
<br />
now i'm seeing 20/20* for the first time and i'm off to tell the world what You have done<br />
<br />
been trying my best to win the battle never knowing that the war's already won - and that's the miracle<br />
<br />
chorus<br />
<br />
bridge<br />
<br />
how blessed am i to be brought so low only to be brought higher and higher and higher<br />
<br />
how great the love that's sent from up above that lifts us all up higher and higher<br />
<br />
chorus x2<br />
<br />
outro<br />
<br />
what's in it for them - what can i really offer - help me Lord to know<br />
<br />
what's my purpose here - please help erase my feats - Lord help me there to help them here<br />
<br />
<br />
* 1 Nephi 20:20Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-15221201228434634002010-06-01T21:35:00.000-07:002010-06-01T21:35:46.639-07:00She's on to the BAHAMAS!!"Did you hear that noise? That boom? That was my mind blowing." - Marshall Flinkman, ALIAS<br />
Greetings Family, Friends, and Fans --<br />
<br />
This will be my last e-mail from Jamaica for a while. I got the phone call this morning that I am being transferred, along with Sister Smith ... TO NASSAU in the BAHAMAS! We were sure we weren't going to get transferred, let alone off island since sisters, not even Jamaican sisters, have never served in the Bahamas before. I could get used to this groundbreaking thing. We leave Wednesday morning flying out of MoBay Airport. The adventure continues! I know God trusts me on this mission. It is a privilege to serve off island -- apparently a lot of Elders are jealous because you have to really work up to it and we're leaving so soon. I don't know what we did to deserve it. They said we lit a dead area on fire and they're really proud of us. I'm looking forward to the next leg of this amazing race! (Can you believe only 16 months left? Yikes!)<br />
<br />
<br />
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I will be sad to be leaving Lucea however. Karl was confirmed, got the gift of the Holy Ghost and ordained a Priest in the Aaronic Priesthood on Sunday. It will be hard not to continue on to see his growth. Not to mention we've been teaching Eddie Grant - the most AMAZING and hilarious guy who also is an amazing cook - and he has a baptism date for June 9th and we won't get to be here. That's a tid bit heartbreaking, and we just don't know the future of the Lucea Branch. It is hard to leave, always wondering what could have been if you stayed ... but that is the nature of the beast, I suppose. We have received loads of free mangos, tis the season, from various people and they are absolutely delicious. This sweet lady who is 120 years old if she's a day had us come to her house at 7am to get some. She shouted in her pajamas from her room "Life in Jamaica is hard ... but it is SWEET!" Amen lady. Amen.<br />
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Okay okay other news. I saw someone eat saltfish for the first time which was totally disgusting. They shoved an entire fish head in their mouth! That's just wrong. But I ate callaloo and breadfruit and both are totally delicious.We've been frying plantains and eating them with fried eggs for breakfast ... also delicious. Peanut and pumpkin flavored stuff is here a plenty ... also delicious. Oh and porridge and oats for breakfast? Yum. We painted a house for an investigator Marlon ... that was fun and I got paint all over my clothes. I love how when we teach here kids just gather around us and love to listen and sing. Random neighborhood kids come and join in the lessons with the whiteys and sing "I am a Child of God" with us. It reminds me of when Christ came and all the children came to Him. Kids can recognize light, I think. Speaking of Christlike, we climbed to the top of this mountain after it had finished raining for five hours straight. It was a mudslide. It was hand over hand, in my jumper no less, just to visit with this lady who got mad at us because we didn't give her any food. Then she started speaking in "tongues" and almost fell off her bed. That was a priceless experience. I felt like Indiana Jones. The coolest thing, and most Christlike thing I could even imagine, was when we got down off the mountain and I was covered in mud and carrying my shoes that were filled with mud and too heavy to wear, these strangers called us over and a lady washed my feet while her husband washed my shoes. We didn't even know them. It blew me away. <br />
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Bro. McLean in our branch -- I'm really gonna miss him. He has such a strong testimony of the priesthood and his calling and of the gospel. I'll miss Andrea, the atheist we were teaching who isn't really an atheist. I'll miss Sis. Chen-Sang, a return missionary who served in Atlanta in 2001 who is really struggling right now and needs a good support system. I'll miss Jennifer, who I can barely understand and who asked to have our clothes when we left. I'll miss Maris, who is the nicest lady and reminded me so much of my sisters I just wanted to stay around her forever. I'll miss Peter who always offers us food, and apparently grew up with Dudus Coke and Bob Marley. I'll miss Ernesto, an inactive member from the DR who we just met and his girlfriend Novlett who believes in the trinity despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary. I'll miss the people who refuse to listen to us, and the people who chat us from across the street. Ahhh Lucea. Nothin' like it.<br />
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I'm struggling with burnout at times. I feel so tired all of the time from the intense heat or intense rain. We climb the craziest hills (I get to drive when we get to Nassau) and the days are long, but the weeks fly by. I JUST WANNA BE AN AMAZING MISSIONARY! A consecrated one. A Dan-Jones-Missionary. I've been thinking a lot about "the errand of angels" -- no not that cheesy movie no one saw about sister missionaries -- but the actual term as in 'as sisters in zion'. I'm trying to figure out what that really means, and how I can apply that in my mission. I've noticed my usual sources of spiritual strength are in short supply out here (ie books, videos, music, movies, the temple, church, friends, family, etc). All the things and people and places that lift me up and inspire me are not at my fingertips. That forces me to really rely on my personal relationship with the Savior, my personal study skills, see how weak they are and learn to strengthen them and utilize them. <br />
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I've started keeping a dream journal cause I have the most random dreams out here. I've also loved watching THE RESTORATION dvd. Aside from the fact that I can't figure out if the guy transcribing when Joseph translates is Kirby Heyborne or not, and aside from the fact that the older Joseph looks exactly like Josh Johnson and it trips me out ... I love watching it! I love how it shows Joseph coming out of the sacred grove, and the look on his face. I had never really thought about the immediate aftermath of the first vision. That's such a cool thought!<br />
Anyway, moving on now. Stay tuned, this jazz is just beginning. Wish me luck, keep me in your prayers and all of that. I love you all. Keep Lucea in your prayers as well as Nassau!<br />
<br />
Cool Runnings,<br />
Sister Payne<br />
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PS<br />
<br />
I miss my guitar! <br />
<br />
*** SISTER PAYNE SAYS THAT SHE PLUGS IN EVERYTHING NORMALLY, JUST LIKE IN THE STATES.Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-56670167371784165212010-05-26T19:32:00.001-07:002010-05-26T19:32:22.100-07:00Some words and a song.Wa'gwaan Family Friends and Fans!<br />
<br />
It's a hot one here in Lucea these days - don't believe the forecast, with the humidity add at least ten degrees. But out of the depths of heat comes GREAT NEWS! Karl Graham, the gentleman who found us on the street and asked us to pray for him and fell in love with the plan of salvation pamphlet -- HE WAS BAPTIZED YESTERDAY! We met him two weeks ago, and he was baptized right after church yesterday at Watson Teller Beach. Contrary to popular belief, beach baptisms are not as cool as font baptisms. Fonts are way more spiritual, and due to the great and spacious building that was shouting things about Selassie from the water and chanting unpleasant remarks to us Christians, it wasn't exactly as we had hoped. But Karl was strong and it didn't phase him. He said the day before his baptism he had met a guy on the street who started talking to him about another religion and said we were false prophets and everything, and for a bit he had decided he didn't want to go through with it, but he told us he realized it was Satan trying to deter him from a righteous path and so he overcame it and couldn't wait to be baptized. It was a wonderful day, the whole branch weathered the long and arduous walk to the beach and supported him. Huzzah! Our work is just beginning here now - we've gotta be sure we teach him more, fellowship him, and find more people to follow in his footsteps! (PS We don't have ward missionaries, so all of the after-baptism teaching is done by us missionaries. At least we'll stay busy!) Karl had been unemployed when he found him, bad luck followed by bad luck. The day before he was baptized he got a phone call about two job opportunities and he called us to tell us he knew it was a blessing from God. After we had given him a Book of Mormon with our testimonies inside, he called us bright and early the next morning singing our testimonies to us over the phone. He's a great guy - we're lucky to have met him!<br />
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People are very superstitious here. One investigator had been dodging us, and finally she ran into us in the city and confessed that she thought we were a cult who sacrificed people in the temple and drank blood and all of that. Apparently a tv program here had a former member go on and say we were vampires, so a lot of people believe that too. I'm glad we could clear that up. They also think that if water gets on their heads they'll get sick, so they wear rags on their heads when it rains. Bizarre much? We taught this guy Stefan this week who grew up in the states, and used to think he was Jesus and believes the Bible but doesn't believe Christ was resurrected or that most of the apostles existed. He's a character, I tell ya. Pauline, a lady we're teaching, loves the church and we're gonna extend her a baptism date soon. She couldn't make to church yesterday, so she sent her daughter and her two sons. They all came to the baptism, and her daughter Shontel asked for her own Book of Mormon and asked what chapter she should read first. Totally awesome - and we taught this guy Eddie who wants to be baptized as soon as possible. He lives far away and hasn't ever been to church, so we'll work harder on getting him to keep his commitments, but he LOVED the Restoration DVD - "This answers all the questions I've been having" ... very cool. <br />
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Some things we've been doing is writing letters to the members in the branch encouraging them to fight the good fight. We had a less active back at church for the first time since we've been here because of the letters, so that was cool. We've also been rewarding ourselves based on our key indicators for the day (ie if we get 3 new investigators we get to buy some ice cream). It's surprisingly effective, haha. We got to go to Bull's Bay and Fort Charlotte on P Days. Fort Charlotte is the #1 tourist attraction in Lucea - which made me crack up. It's so run down - I'd try to describe it but I couldn't even if I tried. You'll see pictures eventually. <br />
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We had one guy we were teaching, Leroy, the one who had a problem and wouldn't tell us and was really struggling to find work ... well he called us and said he can't meet with us anymore because the Church of God is paying his bills, so he's going to that church now. It broke my heart - it literally felt like someone breaking up with us. They do that a lot here we've noticed, buy their congregations. They build a shoddy house for someone and then make them pledge their devotion to their church so they can get tithes from them. They make them pay tithes or they don't let them come to church. Churches are a fashion show too here - much more a social thing than a spiritual. We've received many comments from people who say they quit going to churches because they felt judged, or they thought it was just a franchise. Many people on the street just ask us for money, or ask us what we'll give them if they get baptized. I respond with "Joy in this world and eternal life in the world to come." They usually just walk away, money more important than salvation when they're dealing with the reality of Jamaica I suppose. I do not judge them though - I've often thought "What would I think if I was raised here? What would my priority be if I was this person?" After all, a lot of people here don't even know their ages or their last names, let alone have a concept of their divine worth. It's hard for them to picture anything glorious, or being loved by a perfect Father in Heaven, when they don't know their father here and anything glorious is defined by how much it cost. It's sad though, when we know we have the greatest gift they could possibly receive. But, like President Monson said - "Make the stand for right, even if you stand alone."<br />
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There's been some HEAVY RAIN. It totally blows our days because no one is on the street to contact, and everyone cancels their appointments because it is raining. That makes it rough, and I guess its just the beginning. The heat is really the hardest thing to deal with - it exhausts you and you sweat buckets all day everyday. I guess I'm getting used to it, as much as you could get used to such a thing.<br />
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Okay okay, about this civil unrest business. Don't worry about it - apparently it is all over the news. It is on the other end of the island, and Lucea is the best place to be right now. They said they expected stuff to start going down around labor day, but the elders in Kingston and Spanish Town are on lockdown and they're keeping a good watch on everything. We stayed in last Monday night just to be safe. I don't feel in danger and I'm not worried. The Lord protects us as long as we are faithful and obedient, and I'm lucky to be here in Lucea. We'll keep you updated if anything else happens - just say your prayers they catch this guy! Speaking of prayers, thank you to all who have been sending prayers our way. I can feel them! I can do what I do because of them! Keep them comin!<br />
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Okay my commitment for you all is to HAVE HOPE! Our hope is manifest in our confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance. It is a belief and expectation that something will occur. Make an effort to HAVE HOPE this week, and I know it will bless your life. The church is true - Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, and I'm so grateful for his faith in turning to God in humble prayer and asking for the answer he knew he would receive. I'm grateful for my calling - for the mantle that has been placed on me that I am trying every so desparately to fill. I know my Savior lives, and I know that it is only through His grace that I can be made perfect. We all need the atonement the same amount - President Monson needs it just as much as a criminal - for without His atoning sacrifice none of us could make it. I love Jesus Christ, and I love His gospel and I know it really is EASY to follow - once we have that change of heart. It truly is the only source of eternal happiness.<br />
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Alright I'm off, but before I go I thought I'd send some lyrics that I've written since I've been here =) Take Care. I LOVE YOU ALL!<br />
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<br />
Cool Runnings,<br />
<br />
Sistah Payne<br />
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Hebrews 6:10<br />
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"Kingston"<br />
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v1 <br />
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driving up this mountain view<br />
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its hard to see what men can do<br />
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i never knew i had so much<br />
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man i was so out of touch<br />
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v2<br />
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middle of the night hear the screams<br />
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see the sleepers in the street<br />
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wonder what i'm doing here<br />
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called to serve but still i fear<br />
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prechorus<br />
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yes i have a message<br />
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but i am just a girl<br />
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i can barely speak you know<br />
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but He can save the world<br />
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chorus<br />
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crowded skies - crowded streets<br />
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lovely seas and lovely heat<br />
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high hopes and higher dreams<br />
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on an island fit for a King<br />
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v3<br />
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everywhere's a souvenir<br />
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memories of my time here<br />
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miracles within my grasp<br />
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hidden under broken glass<br />
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prechorus<br />
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a people fall so far<br />
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but a person they can change<br />
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in my heart i'm set apart<br />
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to save a life today<br />
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chorus x2Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6307307063028601441.post-35351839147188323082010-04-27T19:11:00.000-07:002010-04-27T19:11:53.264-07:00Live from Jamaica. Sort of.Well hello there family, friends, and fans.<br />
Is it hot in here or is it just me? No wait, IT IS RIDICULOUSLY HOT! I never knew 85 degrees could feel like 120. I'm trying my best to get used to looking ugly and sweaty for a year and a half. Not an easy task.<br />
I trust everything is fantastic back home! I have so much news its nuts so I'm gonna try my best to get going here.<br />
First off, we're isolated mail wise. All our mail goes to the mission home in Kingston and my area is in Lucea or Hanover, which is on the total other end of the island. So I only get snail mail at zone conferences and the like which is gonna be every 4-6 weeks. Because mail is so hard here, President Graff has made it that as long we e-mail home first we can e-mail others as well. That means you can send me e-mails! I get an hour on the computer every monday, which still isn't a lot, but any timely information is best to come that route rather than via letter because I won't get letters for awhile. Still send me snail mail, just make the information in those letters less important than the information in the e-mails. Ya feel me? Also, if you e-mail me I'll e-mail you back. If you don't e-mail me well then, I probably won't email you. All right.<br />
So, our mission here covers Jamaica, Turks and Caicos, The Bahamas (Nassau), The Grand Cayman, and Guantanamo Bay Cuba. We cannot go to Cuba, but the members that are there are looked over by Pres. Graff as their ecclesiastical leader. To go off island is an extreme privelege. You have to be highly trustworthy. You aren't really looked after out there. Most companionships serving are the only missionaries on the island. I most likely will not go to any of those areas as a sister, they need to keep a close eye on me. But it is still cool that those places are included in the Kingston mission. President Graff has kicked this mission into gear. He has doubled baptisms here with less missionaries than there were before. We only have 60 missionaries in the entire mission, and only 6 of those are sisters (2 Jamaicans, 4 Americans). My trainer is Sis. Smith from Utah. She's only been here 6 weeks, and was trained by Sis. Meddows. Sis. Meddows is the Jamaican sister who was serving in Georgia, and on her flight back to Jamaica her plane crashed and she walked away with a couple bruises. It was kinda big news. I got to meet her - she's AWESOME. So she came back to train the first 2 American sisters, then we came six weeks later. So you have four white girls running around Jamaica. It is hard work. Thank goodness we are serving in the same area as the senior couple The Russells. They feed us, and give us rides out of town, and give us rides at night so we don't have to walk around after dark. Elder Russell is the branch president here and Sis Russell pretty much does it all at church. It is a huge blessing to have them in our area, especially since we got white washed in here.<br />
Oh yeah, so our area. Lucea is very very small. It is what they call a bush area, meaning there's a lot of jungle and such and very little city. Most houses are up on giant hills that are a challenge to get to, and we do our lessons outside in the dirt. Most people build their own houses up here and they don't have electricity. If they're lucky they have cement and mortar to build their house, but most have wood and sheet metal holding up their walls. They have a very struggling branch here. Out of 48 total members in the area, we have 34 less active. Many disappeared and we can't even find them anymore. They don't have addresses here, or names for their roads. And most people have their birth name and then a street name that everyone knows them by. It makes finding people extremely difficult. There are crazy rocky roads here. They have huge pot holes everywhere you go. It is like riding the indiana jones ride except not as fun anytime you take a drive. There's goats and dogs that randomly just roam the streets. We have a goat right outside our house that wakes us up in the morning. Bahhh... All the dogs have fleas. We're told not to touch any animals here. People drive like madmen here, and yes it is on the left side of the road which is actually awesome. We're not allowed to drive ... yet. They may just change that but we're not sure as of right now. <br />
The area of town is called the Hanover Parish. Our specific neighborhood so to speak is called Malcolm Heights. They do baptisms here in a little beach area known as Bull's Bay. There must be a kajillion 7th day adventists here. Sundays no one is out in the streets - so we can't hardly contact anyone. They're either in their homes observing the Sabbath, at church, or downtown in another city partying. Saturdays are slower too cause of the 7th day people. There is a rule that we can't proselyte within 25 yards of another church. That's hard here - there's churches on every corner. <br />
There's tv programs here that slander the church. In fact one less active member refuses to have any contact with us because she believes we are vampires, thanks to whatever Jerry Springer type show she was watching on TV. Lovely eh? People carry machetes around here all the time which at first totally freaked me out, but then I realized a lot of people have jobs just going out to the bush cutting down fruit and selling it, or cutting yards for people. So now everytime I see one I just think "that's their lucky machete".<br />
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A lot of times since I've been here I've stepped back and thought "WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING HERE?" And you know what - I still don't know. But I do know that I am where the Lord wants me to be. Never before in my life have I gone to bed every night so comfortable with the stage I'm at in my life ... knowing that if I died tomorrow I'd be in good standing. That is a really good feeling. I've been thinking a lot about something Glenn L. Pace said at a fireside before I left the MTC. He said that in the premortal life, we most likely made a commitment to those that we are going to teach on our mission that we would bring them the gospel. That changes my perspective on a lot of things. It is easy to be scared, or feel like giving up. But when I talk to someone, even if they don't end up getting baptized, knowing that I fulfilled my end of the commitment is huge. Speaking of the MTC, I got to give the closing prayer in our departure devotional - in front of the MTC president and his wife. INTENSE!<br />
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Okay now what everyone is waiting for... the patois I've picked up since I've been here. <br />
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Well it has only been a week so it isn't much. But "chat" - as in "let em chat at ya" - means to give a hard time or make fun of. "bush" is a real jungle area, vs "cush" that is a real rich area (ie Mandeville or upper Kingston). "jah" is a reference to Jehovah, so they use it to mean God a lot. It is mostly a Rasta word. "scandal bag" is a grocery bag. People say "good night" as a greeting, and use "all right" to mean absolutely everything. "i'rie" means all right. And they say "lata" instead of goodbye. I can understand most poeple when they're talking to me. But when they're talking to eachother? Forget it. Totally lost.<br />
Anyway,<br />
I have so much more to write about but I'm about out of time! I will write it all in my next letter I'm sure. For now, just know that I'm safe and all is well. It is hard - the hardest thing I've ever done, me thinks. But I know that the church is true. I know that God is watching out for me and I know that he loves each and every one of the people I'm meeting out here. What a huge testimony builder it is to me to see God's children, who are so different than I, still need the same assurances and still needing to follow the same gospel that Jesus Christ set up - for all of his children. You are all in my prayers. I miss home, but I'm focused on the work. The Lord qualifies who He calls, and He's called each of us to something different. Exercise your faith in Him and He'll take care of you through His grace. He's really made it easy on us. We just have to trust Him.<br />
I commit all reading to go an entire week without complaining. NOT ABOUT A SINGLE THING. The people here have so little. They are so poor, you cannot even imagine. Not all parts of Jamaica are like what you see on the travel channel - in fact Lucea is nothing you could even imagine. And they save up their money to take a taxi to church on Sunday. They walk through rain to go to work at 7am til 7pm, just to feed their families. Their culture doesn't respect them, their government is more corrupt that you could even think (there are far worse things than socialized medicine, believe me I see it everyday). So just try it. Don't complain. You have plenty of food, air conditioning, hot showers, a chapel to worship in, and clean clothes to wear.<br />
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Count your many blessings.<br />
<br />
All my love. Cool runnings,<br />
Sister Payne <br />
<br />
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</div>me and the boy - cutest little boy! he's related to a member of the branch. He LOVED taking pictures on Sunday :)<br />
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the group in front of the house - elder roberts, sister speakman, me, and elder hoffman - the morning before we left for all of our areas. elder roberts is in mandeville, sis. speak in montego bay (mo bay), and hoffman in spanish town and me in lucea (pronounced lucy). we all came over together from the MTC.<br />
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some of the most gorgeous sunsets i've ever seen here! Sis. Smith (my comp) and I when the Russells took us to Bull's Bay where they do the baptisms<br />
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Sis Smith and I on Sunday in front of our church building.Ashleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099864468567969573noreply@blogger.com1